A Kiss in the Dark
Read A Kiss in the Dark Online
Authors: Cat Clarke
Tags: #Teen & Young Adult, #Love & Romance, #Literature & Fiction, #Action & Adventure, #Romance, #Contemporary
First published in Great Britain in 2014 by
Quercus Editions Ltd
55 Baker Street
7th Floor, South Block
London
W1U 8EW
Copyright © Cat Clarke, 2014
The moral right of Cat Clarke to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
A CIP catalogue reference for this book is available from the British Library
eBook ISBN 978 1 78087 048 9
Print ISBN 978 1 78087 047 2
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
You can find this and many other great books at:
www.quercusbooks.co.uk
Cat Clarke was born in Zambia and brought up in Scotland and Yorkshire, which has given her an accent that tends to confuse people. Cat has written non-fiction books about exciting things like cowboys, sharks and pirates, and now writes YA novels, usually about teenagers being mean to each other. Her first novel,
Entangled
, won the Redbridge Teenage Book Award and was long-listed for the Branford Boase Award.
Also by Cat Clarke
ENTANGLED
TORN
UNDONE
For Caro
chapter one
I saw her before she saw me. It was better that way. I watched her looking for me, craning her neck to see over the crowd. Trying to match the faces in front of her against my profile picture. That was all she had to go on. No bigger than a passport photo and you couldn’t even see my face properly. Half-turned away from the camera, fringe flopping down over my eyes. It was one of the only photos of me I didn’t hate. She must have liked it too, I guess.
Jonni and Fitz had abandoned me in favour of the mosh-pit with vague promises to catch up with me later. I was glad to be rid of them; I didn’t want them embarrassing me in front of her. Jonni especially had the tendency to say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He didn’t mean to – his brain just worked differently from the rest of us.
I put down my drink and rubbed my palms on the
back of my jeans but they were sweaty again a couple of seconds later. I could feel sweat trickling down my back too. It was way too hot to be wearing my hoodie, but I wasn’t going to tie it round my waist like Dad does with his golf jumper. Plus I’d been wearing it in my profile picture, so I thought it might help her recognize me.
I lost sight of her for a little while and for a second there I thought I’d screwed up and she’d left because she couldn’t find me. But she appeared again a minute later – right in front of me. It reminded me of when Jamie used to dive under the sea and then pop up underneath me or grab my leg, pretending to be some kind of sea monster. This was scarier though.
‘Hi! Alex?’ Her voice was bright and clear, exactly how I imagined it would sound. Hers was more of an Edinburgh accent than mine.
She was waiting for me to say something. To confirm that I was actually Alex. She cocked her head to the side like an inquisitive bird in a gesture I’ve seen her do a hundred times since that night.
Somehow I managed to unglue my tongue from the roof of my mouth. ‘Yeah, hi.’ I cleared my throat because my voice sounded strange. She smiled and I’d never been on the receiving end of a smile like that in my entire life. No one had
ever
looked that happy to see
me. There was no sign that I was anything other than exactly what she was expecting. I had no idea how to feel about that.
Sometimes I close my eyes and picture her at that exact moment.
Before
.
Her hair was long and blonde and shiny, just like in her profile picture. I’d spent so long looking at the picture I’d have recognized her anywhere. Her eyes were blue – cornflower blue if I was going to try being all poetic about it – and they were fixed on me in a way that made me even more nervous.
She was wearing grey skinny jeans and a band T-shirt that you could tell was brand new. Bright white Converse on her feet, contrasting nicely with my scruffy old black ones. In her profile picture she was wearing some kind of flowery top that looked a bit like something my mum would wear. It made me wonder if she’d bought a whole new outfit just for tonight. It made me wonder if she wanted to impress me. And it made me wonder if I wanted that to be true.
She didn’t seem to be wearing any make-up, but maybe she was wearing the kind of make-up girls wear when they want to look like they’re not wearing any. Her cheeks were flushed red, which could have just been down to the fact that the place was a total
sweatbox. But it also could have been something to do with me. I knew she was shy; she’d told me in one of our very first messages. I’d said I was shy too.
‘I can’t believe it’s you! In real life! I wasn’t sure you’d show up. My friends think I’m completely crazy, by the way – coming here by myself to meet some random … not that you’re random or anything! Oh God, I’m babbling, aren’t I? Sorry! I’m so nervous. I don’t …
do
this sort of thing … please tell me to shut up before I embarrass myself even more.’
She talked so fast it was hard to follow, and the support act had just come onstage so there was even more for my ears to contend with. ‘Shut up, Kate.’
Her eyes widened before she caught on and laughed. ‘I’m not normally like this. Honestly. I’m usually much more … normal.’
‘Don’t worry about it – seriously. What’s so good about normal anyway?’ My voice had this new lazy, hazy sort of quality. Like everything was under control and I wasn’t sweating profusely and my heart wasn’t hammering in my chest. I sounded like someone else. Then it hit me: I sounded like Jamie.
‘You’re right. It’s about time I was …
ab
normal. Hmm. That doesn’t sound so good, does it?’ She paused and I wasn’t sure what she was going to do or say next. I certainly wasn’t expecting her to hug
me, but that’s exactly what she did. I’ve never been much of a hugger; I’m a big fan of personal space. I didn’t seem to have much choice in the matter though. Before I knew what was happening, she had her arms around me. I kept some distance between our bodies without even thinking about it. An automatic reflex.
*
It wasn’t a date. We just happened to be going to the same gig so we’d arranged to meet up. That was all. But the way Kate looked at me that night, the way she laughed at my crap jokes and touched my arm, there was no mistaking it. I kept trying to convince myself otherwise but all the signs were there. She liked me.
I got her a Coke and we stood near the back and talked through the rest of the support act. Kate relaxed pretty fast and before long we were chatting about all sorts of stuff. It was just like it had been online, except she was standing right in front of me. It seemed entirely normal and entirely not normal at the same time.
I kept an eye out for Jonni and Fitz, pretty confident that they wouldn’t come looking for me anytime soon. I spotted an empty space on the balcony and ushered Kate upstairs. We squeezed into the space, which was only really big enough for one
person, earning a glare from the guy next to us. He didn’t glare at Kate though, and I was glad.
The band came on and Kate grabbed my arm and squeezed. She was surprisingly strong for a girl. ‘I can’t believe this is happening!’ It was the first gig she’d ever been to and to look at her you’d think she’d never been allowed out of the house before. She started singing along to the first song and then abruptly stopped when she noticed me staring at her. ‘Sorry, I really love this song …’ She looked sheepish.