Daisy struck at him. “You big bully! I ain’t going nowhere with you!”
“This ain’t open for discussion, Daisy Mae.”
Daisy crossed her arms, set her jaw, and glared at him.
Zach shook his head but didn’t argue with her. Instead, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her off, her fists beating ineffectively against his back. Maddie followed behind, thunderstruck by this unexpected side of Zach, suddenly wondering if picking a fight to leave him wasn’t going to be a bad mistake.
Chapter Eighteen
They drove back to the motel in heavy silence. The stubborn set of Daisy’s jaw as she sulked, refusing to look at her brother, only magnified the resemblance between them. Zach’s lips tightened whenever he glanced at Daisy. When he looked back at the road his mouth moved as though he was already silently arguing with her. Maddie might have found it amusing if she wasn’t trying to figure out if this was going to complicate her exit strategy.
Zach dragged Daisy into their motel room and immediately started yelling. Maddie had to credit his sister with gumption. The girl refused to stay in the chair Zach had thrown her at. She went toe-to-toe with her brother, unintimidated by his ranting.
Maddie and Jake showed more caution. They stood side-by-side against the wall, carefully out of the line of fire. Maddie held Jesse in her arms, prepared to seek refuge in Jake’s room if the open animosity made him start crying. So far, his only visible reactions were the thumb in his mouth and a wide-eyed fascination with the combatants.
“My sex life ain’t nobody’s business but mine!” Daisy declared.
Zach looked apoplectic. “Your
sex
life? You’re sixteen years old! You don’t get to have a sex life!”
“Why not?” Daisy shot a belligerent glance at Maddie. “You obviously do.”
“I’m not a sixteen year old girl!”
“That’s a double standard. You ain’t nothing but a hypocrite.”
“Did you learn nothing from Ezra’s troubles?” Zach yelled. “You let that boy have his way with you, Mamma’ll have y’all married off before he can zip his pants back up!”
“You think that’s a threat?” Jake said cautiously. “You think she ain’t wrote that boy’s name on all her notebooks with missus in front, just to see how it looks?”
Jake’s contribution earned him a glare before Zach turned back to his sister.
“Is that it, Deborah? You wanna trap this boy into marrying you? You gonna spend the rest of your life wondering if he’d’ve married you if he hadn’t had to? Or do you wanna let him knock you up a couple of times before he decides he missed out on his oat-sowing and leaves you with a bunch of babies to raise on your own? How many boys you think’ll take you on then, with a bunch of screaming, snot-nosed kids hanging on your skirt?”
Maddie tried not to cringe outwardly. Except for the number of children, was that how he saw her? She squared her shoulders. It didn’t matter; she was as good as gone from his life, but his tirade added to her desire to get out of that room.
Maddie shifted Jesse in her arms and caught the odor of soiled diaper. Perfect. She nudged Jake with her elbow, meaningfully tapping Jesse’s bottom when she had Jake’s attention.
He caught her meaning immediately. “Come on. You can use my room.” She shot Zach an apologetic look and Jake grabbed Jesse’s bag and hustled them out.
“Thank God, I only got four sisters,” Jake said as he let her into his room. “I don’t know if I can get through this more than once.”
“You should be there though. They need a referee so they don’t kill each other.”
“Oh, no. Please don’t make me go back.”
Maddie gave him a sympathetic look as she laid Jesse on Jake’s bed and grabbed a diaper from the bag.
He sighed. “You’re probably right. I sure wish you weren’t though.”
“I almost feel guilty sending you back …”
“You ain’t going back, are you?”
Maddie shook her head. “I don’t want Jesse upset by all the yelling.”
“Yeah, coz he really looks traumatized,” Jake said, dryly. “Gonna need a therapist for that boy.”
Maddie had the grace to blush. She focused on changing Jesse. “Okay, so I don’t want to step into a family squabble. It’s not my place. But I don’t want them killing each other either, so you need to go back.”
Jake shook his head and sighed. “It’s not like either one of them listens to me,” he muttered as he opened the door of his room and dutifully went back next door.
The yelling next door was still going strong, so after she finished changing Jesse, Maddie dug the keys out of her bag, grateful Zach had asked her to drive back, so he could keep his sister from jumping out at a stop light on the way.
Equally grateful that the car ran so quietly, she started it up and drove out of the parking lot, only stopping to strap Jesse into his seat when she was half a mile down the road.
She got a six thousand dollar offer for the Lincoln at one of the car lots in town. She’d hoped for more, but she couldn’t afford to hold out for a better offer. It wouldn’t matter to her anyway; the check would have to be made out to Prudence since the title was still in her name. Maddie just wished she could send her aunt something closer to what the car was really worth.
Promising to consider it, Maddie drove down the road where she found a secondhand Ford. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. It was cheap enough she could afford to just walk away from it once it got her wherever she was going next. She paid with cash she’d taken from the duffel bag and stowed in Jesse’s diaper bag.
Armed with a story about the car being a surprise for a nephew’s birthday, she got them to deliver it to the rodeo grounds. She followed, taking possession of the keys and moving the contents of the Lincoln’s trunk to the Ford’s. The car would be waiting for her when she was ready to leave town.
If the duffel hadn’t still been in the hotel room, Maddie realized, she could have left then. She was nervous about going back but not heartbroken that she had to.
She stopped at a store and bought some teething toys for Jesse, to alibi herself, but if she was really lucky, Zach might not even have noticed she’d left.
*
That proved too much to expect. She’d barely gotten the driver’s door open when Zach was standing in the V between the car’s body and the door, glaring down at her.
“Where’d you go?”
Maddie fought down the resentment that sprang up in her. She had one last night with him; she didn’t want to spend it fighting. “To the store. I bought Jesse some teething toys.”
“It took you four hours to buy teething toys?”
“Then I browsed. I figured you were busy. Can I get out of the car please?”
Zach backed up. The scowl lost some intensity. “I’m sorry. I was worried.”
“What? You thought I’d get lost? I’d have to work pretty hard to get lost in a town this size.”
Zach just shook his head and walked back to their room.
Maddie felt as though a light had gone on over her head. Her hands still on the steering wheel, her arms stiffened, pushing her deep into the driver’s seat. How unbelievably dense could she be? So focused on her own plans and indulging in wishful thinking that she couldn’t see what was right in front of her. Of course, Jake had told Zach about the trunk.
And knowing she was a flight risk, her sudden disappearance had scared him. He had to know he couldn’t stop her. Just the same, he could force a scene instead of letting her slip silently away.
Maddie leaned her forehead against the steering wheel. Thinking only of herself and her problems, she hadn’t considered how her disappearance might affect him. She didn’t owe him a goodbye, but he didn’t deserve to be hurt either after everything he’d done for her.
She discovered she was more of a coward than she’d thought. Zach’s sister had taught her about his temper. Maddie couldn’t face the possibility of his temper directed at herself. She’d call him a day or two after she’d gone, she decided, and explain as best she could. But he’d never know how much leaving him behind hurt.
She got Jesse from the back seat and opened the trunk for the one thing still there—Zach’s iPod.
“Where’s Jake and Daisy?” Maddie asked as she set the iPod on the dresser.
Zach sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes downcast. “They went to the rodeo.”
In just those few words, he seemed like a different man. Clearly not liking that his fears had been exposed, he’d withdrawn into himself. Maddie felt like she was dancing on nerves rubbed raw with pretending.
She put Jesse in the crib and gave him a teething ring before she turned to face Zach. “I didn’t mean to worry you. It was just … this thing with Daisy. It’s a family thing, and I’m not part of your family.”
“Okay.” Zach nodded his head, but it didn’t ease the discomfort between them.
“Should we go to the rodeo?” Maddie asked.
“If you want. They won’t get to the bulls for a while yet.”
“Jesse could use a nap then.”
Zach didn’t say anything.
Any other time, if they had a few hours to kill, Maddie would have put money on them ending up in bed together in the time it took them to get their clothes off.
If she hadn’t been planning to do exactly what he was worried about, she would have addressed his fears head on and gotten him out of himself. She could pretend along with him that the possibilities were open ended, but she couldn’t lie to him today and leave him tomorrow. That would be worse than cowardly; it would be cruel.
Maddie plugged the iPod in and shuffled through the music until she found Josh Turner’s. She wasn’t about to let the album start at the beginning;
Would You Go With Me?
would be about the worst choice she could make.
Angels Fall Sometimes
was at least something they could slow dance to.
She stood in front of Zach as the song’s opening notes played.
He looked up at her and shook his head. “No, Maddie.”
“You won’t dance with me?”
“No.”
“Please.”
He looked away. Maddie could almost follow the deliberation in his head. They’d made such a game of him giving her whatever she wanted if only she said please, but it wasn’t working this time. Maddie thought it had been close though.
She went to her knees in front of him. “Zach, please don’t do this.” When he still wouldn’t look at her, she caught his face between her hands and forced him to. “Don’t do this.”
The misery in his eyes wrenched at her heart. Her need to erase that look was just more evidence of her cowardice; who would erase it when she left?
Desperate to reach him, she kissed him. The lack of response from his lips put another knife in her heart, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. Still holding his head, she covered his face with gentle kisses. He started to thaw, his hands rising slowly to rest on her hips. Suddenly, they encircled her waist and he pulled her between his knees as his lips found hers. His kisses were fierce and fervent.
Zach stood, raising her with him then twisted, still carrying her with him, so she landed on the bed beneath him. Whatever consideration he’d shown her in the past was gone. His touch was firm and demanding, nearly brutal, as he hastily explored her body, removing her clothes as he went.
Maddie couldn’t keep up. When she was down to her panties, Zach rose to his knees to pull his T-shirt off. His jeans followed.
He grabbed her panties and pulled them down, barely giving her the chance to lift her hips from the bed, then he fell on her, forcing his way inside her, demanding that her body accept his full length whether she was prepared or not.
She was, but only just. His ferocity took her by surprise. As did her response to it. When he raised himself on his arms and drove into her, like a battering ram against castle gates, her hips rose in response, meeting his violence with violence of her own. Her hands cupped his lean buttocks, her nails digging crescents into the tender flesh, urging him deeper, encouraging his savagery.