A Lasting Love (24 page)

"Reid, Reid, it's your father. . . ."

He froze.

She knew she had to tell him. With effort she
forced
herself to look at him. His chin was squared,
as if waiting
for her to hit him. In effect, he was.
His lips, usually so soft and willing, were tight and framed
austerely across
the top by his dark mustache. His
dark eyes, deep and unflinching, examined her as he waited for what
she had
to say.
Oh, God, how could she
let him go?

"I—I got a call from
Lupe.
She was nearly
hysterical.
Your father suffered another stroke four
hours ago and
was taken by ambulance to the hospital.
Raul and the nurse are there with him. They think he is dying.
Oh,
Reid, I'm so sorry." She cupped his drawn face
with her
hands and kissed him. Then they embraced for
long, ago
nizing moments.

With a heavy sigh he shifted, moving stiffly
away from
her. "I, uh, I'll call the hospital and talk
to the nurse first.
Then I'll decide what to do." He
shrugged out of his dark
suit coat as he reached for
his phone. Fifteen minutes later
he turned to Loren.
"Dad has suffered severe damage and
probably won't
make it through the night. I have to go
soon."

"I know. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes." He ran his hand over his face, as if to clear
his thinking. It had been a busy, high-level day. He had looked
forward to relaxing tonight with Loren. But it wasn't to be. Not
tonight. . . .

They sat together at the small table that overlooked
the tiny, formal garden outside her window.

"Loren, will you go back with me?"

Her voice was strained. "Certainly, Reid. If you want
me to."

He rose and paced the floor impatiently. "I don't
want you to go along just to wait at the hospital until my father
dies. I want you to go with me to Arizona—to marry me."

How . . . why. . . could he think of marriage at a
time like this?

"Reid, please don't press for that decision at this
time." She sounded remarkably calm. Inside she was screaming.

"This is not a sudden decision. The question was
asked six years ago. That should have given you enough time to
weigh your decision."

"Reid, you can't go back that far."

"Why not?" There was a hardness, a firmness, about
his tone, his face, his entire body. "I loved you then. And I love
you now, more deeply than ever. I want you, Loren. I want you to be
my wife. Now."

The tension in the air was so strong, Loren could
almost reach out and touch it. All that they had been through and
all that they meant to each other was suddenly on trial. Their
future was at stake. For months now, years actually, they had
skirted the issue, avoided mentioning the ultimate. Now they were
on the brink of another abyss in their lives. Would they plunge
into the darkness again?

"Reid, I love you too. You know that." Her voice was
strained and Loren stopped to swallow. "But I just don't see
how—"

"Wait." He was pacing, gesturing his frustration. "Am
I going crazy? We've got two people here who love each other and
yet you're saying you don't see how we can work this out?"

"No, that wasn't what I was about to say," she
answered quietly. "I don't see how you can ask me to give up
everything I've worked for all these years. My career, my personal
goals, my home. It isn't fair to me."

"Fair?" he barked. "Love isn't fair? Marriage isn't
the answer? Most women want it. What's wrong with you, Loren?"

Loren wanted to say yes, unconditionally. However,
something beyond her control restrained her, reminded her that she
must be true to herself as well. That there had to be another way.
Yet a niggling thought in the back of her mind questioned it still.
She sighed and cleared her throat. "I—I've given this a lot of
thought, Reid. There is another solution."

He stopped pacing and narrowed his dark eyes at her.
"Well, I'm glad to know you've considered the fact that I love you.
And the likelihood that I would ask you to marry me . . . again. So
what is my brilliant lady lawyer's decision this time?"

Was it sarcasm or sheer male frustration that
permeated his tones?

"I—I will always love you, Reid, and be here for
you." She couldn't meet his black gaze when she said it.

"Here? In D.C.? Then you're refusing me again?"

There was an uncomfortable pause. "No. I'm not
denying our love at all, Reid. I'm admitting it. I cherish it . . .
and you. And I will always be yours. I will be your ... mistress,
here for you." She couldn't believe she was actually saying it,
that she was considering such a life for herself. For them. It went
against everything she stood for, and yet it seemed to her the only
way.

His staccato words jerked her eyes up to him. "My
mistress? Loren? Are you serious? Is this what you really want for
us?"

"No," she whispered hoarsely. "But it's the only
solution I could figure. I just can't pick up and leave my life.
Neither can you."

"Only solution? My God, woman, I'm offering you my
love, marriage, my ranch, everything I own and value in the world.
Why do you insist on throwing our love away again?"

"I'm not throwing it away. I will save it for you,
and only you, Reid. Don't you understand? I will be yours
alone."

"Here. In Washington." His tone was flat and
empty.

"Yes."

He strode away from her, pacing the small kitchen
like a caged lion, his rage on the brink. Suddenly his fury
exploded in a blaze of energy. "I don't want a mistress, Loren. I
want you as my wife. In Arizona. With kids running all over the
ranch. Our kids! Is that so impossible to ask?"

"How can you ask me to give up all I've worked for
these past six years?" She stood and met his fury steadily. It was
something she believed in and she had to defend it. She had given
up six agonizing years of his love for this. It had to be a strong
conviction. And she had to convince him of its importance to her.
She couldn't make him understand before. Now her position was even
stronger. She had more at stake.

"I'm not asking you to give up a thing, Loren. I'm
asking you to be my wife. There are no strings attached to
that."

"I—I can't." Her voice was weak. Would he ever
un
derstand?

"Why? Why the hell not?" His dark eyes settled
on her
sadly and his voice was a hoarse whisper. He
was losing
again, and he wasn't sure why.

Loren took a deep breath. "I was only thirteen
when my
mother died. It's a very impressionable age,
and I remember
that she was an unhappy woman here in
Wash
ington with my father and me."

"Loren,
querida,
I'm sorry about that part of
your life.
But what does that have to do with
us?"

"Oh, God, Reid, please try to understand what
I'm
about to say. From a woman's view . . .
from
my
view!"
Her blue eyes begged, and he nodded his willingness.
How
could he do otherwise?

Loren slumped at the small table and continued
to talk.
"When my mother married Dad, she gave up a
promising career in the theater. She wasn't able to pursue her
person-
al goals here in Washington. As a politician's
wife, she was
involved in a social whirl beyond her
control. You know what it's like. There was always something going
on. She felt totally unfulfilled and blamed it on my father,
especially after she became ill. I watched her bitterness
grow.
We don't want that to happen to our
relationship, Reid."
Tears filled her blue eyes as
Loren implored him to understand. "I vowed that I would not
compromise my goals for
a man. Six years ago I felt
the same way, but my career
wasn't as satisfying then
as it is now. I love my job and
can't give it up. I
will not jeopardize our relationship with
the
bitterness that comes from self-sacrifice."

Reid's reaction was not at all what she
expected. No
more angry outbursts. No pacing and
raving. He sat down
opposite her, encasing her icy
hands in his warm, capable
ones, and smiled. A gentle
smile that revealed the single
dimple in one cheek
that she loved so much. In a low tone he asked, "Is that why,
Loren? Is that why you refused me six years ago? Were you afraid of
losing your identity and goals, for me?"

She nodded sadly but gratefully, her heart reaching
out to the man she loved. He understood. What had seemed like an
insurmountable explanation was summed up by Reid in a few succinct
words . . . and with a smile. Her career was important to her, and
she didn't want him to belittle it as Mark had done.

"Do you want to have your career and a family too? Or
are you saying that you don't desire the same things I do?"

One nervous hand reached to caress his face. "Oh,
Reid, I love you so. I do want you. And a family. I still grieve
that I lost our baby six years ago. But—"

"Well, then, my lovely lady lawyer, surely you
can figure out how to juggle all of that. I have
never—
never
—asked you to give
up anything in order to marry me. I wouldn't make demands like that
on you, Loren, especially since it's so vital to you. All I'm
asking is that you be my wife. You don't have to give up your
career."

"But, Arizona is where you live—"

"For now it is,
querida.
You can have it all.
Keep your clients here in D.C. and set up an office there
too.
Dios
mío!
L
ook
what you did for the few women you met in
Arizona, and you were only there a week. Imagine what you could do
if you lived there, part time, of course. They need you. And so do
I,
mi amor.
"As if to convince
her, Reid moved deftly to her side, urging her up into his strong
arms. Large hands gently cupped her face, turning it to meet his
ardent lips. The kiss conveyed a love that had endured six long,
lonely years and convinced her that a future together was
possible.
Entirely possible.

"Two offices?" she murmured, when he lifted his lips.
"Are you sure I ... we can manage that?"

He kissed her again, little sipping kisses, as
though he were tasting fine wine all over her face. "Of course.
I'll fly you across the country to keep up with your eastern
clients. People do it all the time. I don't think I could stop you,
Loren, but after seeing you in action, I wouldn't want to. Your job
is valuable, to others as well as to you. This is something you
should do. We can make it work. We will,
mi
amor.
I don’t want a mistress. I want a wife. I want
you to have my name and everything that goes with it."

"Then we'll keep this little town house?"

He kissed a sizzling trail to her earlobe. "Sure. Who
knows? I may consider a political career in the future. I've grown
to love this city, too, especially if I can be here with you. When
we come back for business, we'll need a place to stay."

"I—I just didn't think of being in both places." She
smiled with relief, stretching eager arms around his neck.

Reid's capable hands were stroking her back,
positioning her against him. "You didn't ask your man, lady lawyer.
You should have known I would figure out a way to keep you this
time. I couldn't let you go . . . couldn't leave you. Loren, I have
always loved you. From the moment I first saw you, first made love
to you in that antique brass bed upstairs, I fell in love with the
lady with the bluest eyes I've ever seen."

She pulled his lips down to hers. "And I fell in love
with the dark-eyed cowboy with scuffy boots from Arizona."

His kiss halted her words and caught her
breath. "That sea captain's wife and her Hessian lover had nothing
on us,
mi amor.
"

Loren giggled as a light giddiness overwhelmed her.
She had wasted so much time worrying, wondering, mourning Reid's
loss, even before he was gone, that she just couldn't shift her
thinking so quickly. All she knew was that she wouldn't be losing
him. They would be together, and she wouldn't be losing anything.
She would be gaining everything.

"Reid." She approached him seriously. "Do you really
think it will work? I can keep my office here? My clients? Our town
house? And have children running over the ranch?"

He shrugged. "We can handle all of that. The kids are
up to you, Loren. Can we have another child?"

"The doctor told me there was no reason why I
couldn't. Well, only one reason . . ." She hedged with a teasing
twinkle in her eye.

"I'll certainly do my part!" Reid assured her
heartily with a grin. "You can have it all,
mi amor.
Anything you want." His kisses reached
the pulsing hollow of her throat.

The moment was interrupted with a single ‘me-oww.’
They looked down and there was Angel, winding her beautiful white
furry self around Reid’s leg. “Does that mean she likes me?”

“
I think she’s getting used to you. Think we
could take her to Arizona?”

“
Oh honey, you can take anything you want to
Arizona. And I have to leave soon."