A Life Plan Without You. (30 page)

“Oh hell
alright I will wait, besides the stuff we do now is pretty good,
what else can we do then?” We both laughed aloud.

“Plenty now shush…” We arrived at mine. Only Becky and Mum
were up, they were already tired and after an hour of dropping
hints Sam was to leave and failing miserably, they both went to
bed. We needed to talk, really talk.

“We’re alone at last, talk to me Sam please.” He lay on the
sofa, I climbed on next to him, we didn’t do anything just cuddle
and talk. We discussed Blackpool again and decided yes, to spending
time together and thinking about sleeping together, but holding
back on the sex. Umm we’ll see I need to work on him when I get him
alone. I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me. We both woke
with a jolt, when Dad set off for work, slamming the front door. I
sat up and looked at Sam.

“Shit you stopped the night, looks like a right hooks coming
your way.”

“Well, it was worth it Michelle. You’re the first girl I’ve
ever slept with all night, it was so nice having you in my arms all
night and if a right hooks my punishment, so be it.” Slept with all
night, who was he trying to kid, because he lay looking at me most
of the night kissing my head. I enjoyed it though, knowing he was
there with me and yes it was nice, he was right it felt
perfect.

“We didn’t do anything stop panicking and I have to be in work
in an hour, so wait whilst I change. Do you want some breakfast?
The toilet is upstairs, to the left.” I kissed him. “I love you so
much, how I wish we had done it now, same guilt more
pleasure.”

“No we are waiting Mi cielo and I mean it we take things slow
and steady. I don’t do breakfast either. I’ll wait until later
because we don’t want to be waking everyone up.”

“You’ll be fine, everyone sleeps in Saturday follow me.” We
made our way to the top of the stairs. He went to the toilet, as I
grabbed my uniform, I put it on over clean underwear, I needed a
wash and Sam was on his way down stairs when Becky decided it was
time for getting up.

“Shush, it’s only seven o’clock go back to sleep.” I grabbed
the quickest of washes, did my hair, and dragged my backside down
stairs. I made him a drink, and grabbed some toast. He looked even
more worried than before.

“Stop it Sam, we didn’t do anything, and if it makes you feel
better, we won’t alright, as you said we take this and it
slowly?”

“I really do want to give you the more you want, I want it
badly, you I want more than anything, but we need to get to know
each other properly and for longer. I promise we will and I want it
to be special and memorable, not rushed and under our parents roofs
or afraid of being caught. Do you think your Dad thinks we had done
it here last night?”

“Well, if Dad did come in and saw you, Mum will let me know
when I get home from work. So can we worry about it then?” He
sighed. I knew he would tire of me, and being younger than he was
and so much more inexperienced, I just didn’t think it would be so
soon.

“Please Sam, you’re going to hate this age thing and sex ban,
please talk to me. Hell I’m sure things will sort themselves out,
stop worrying.” Calmer, he arguably wasn’t, he’s going to dump me.
“Right I’ve got to get to work, you get home and get some sleep,
I’ll meet you where?” Please my fingers are tightly crossed that he
still wants to be with me again, please, please.

“I love you baby and I imposed the ban, not you and the age
thing is only worrying you, it’s not like were ten years
difference, there are just four years in it, please baby stop
worrying. I’ll come and get you, you’re not facing this on your
own, about eight-ish is that okay?” He was so sweet and worried,
Dad wouldn’t do anything, he’d never upset me that much and he
certainly would never smack me ever. Sam would learn that the more
time he spent with us.

“That’s fine Sam, stop panicking, I want you too and will wait
as long as you want.” I opened the curtains and we headed out, him
home and me off to work. A long smoochy kiss later and we parted
ways. I headed for work, what a night, wow I’d slept with Sam and
not done the deed. I’m sure things would be clearer as the day went
on. I needed to get something to wear for tonight too, though I did
have the black dress I’d bought for a wedding? One that Dad had
said was far too old for me, and I had to take it off and put
something more age appropriate on. The added bonus, the red shoes
would get their first outing. So new underwear, the only thing
needed. Marks and Spencer’s at dinnertime then.

I headed for home happy, having spent the night with
Michelle, no sex just sleeping. Well she slept and I watched her,
but still a full night with her in my arms, I couldn’t believe it,
but keeping my hands off her is becoming difficult, she’s a
challenge!

Stepping through the door, my mood changed and shit did it
change, Dad was in a foul mood, he was screaming abuse at Jimmy, I
stepped into the room just as he was about to raise his hand to
Jimmy for the second time judging by the red face and mark on his
neck.

“Do that Dad and you get nothing from us, we leave.” He
turned to me and I looked at him and then he hit my
shoulder.

“You, why are you late with my money? I’ve had to wait with
this scum, until you got back boy.” I handed him over the money, he
would have had it last night, my stopping out had cost Jimmy a
smack and Mum was on the floor cowering. He grabbed the money and
went out. I helped Mum up and put her in the chair. Jimmy poor
Jimmy, I looked at his neck red and bruised.

“It will be fine, Jimmy where is Andy again?” Jimmy shuffled
in his chair.

“He stopped at Zoë’s again.” I’m fuming I stop out one night
and he stops out all the bloody time, I have had enough! I pay the
blood money and he keeps his money squirrelled away tight in his
bloody wallet.

“Right go put a cold, flannel on your neck Jimmy. It will
help the marks go down.” He had tears in his eyes, but he went and
did it. Andy came in as I was sorting Mum out.

“Cheers again Andy. You should have given Dad his money last
night forgotten it again? The bastards had Jimmy and Mum this
morning. Our Brother and Mother are scum, according to him as he
hit them!” He looked at me.

“Where were you then?” I looked at him.

“I was out for the first time ever overnight at Michelle’s,
really don’t go there Andy, not when we never know if or when you
will grace us with an appearance! I pay week in week out every
bloody time his hands are out, what are you saving for?” He looked
at me.

“I’m sorry, I will transfer some money to your account, I
just forget because you keep doing it.” I looked at him.

“The money isn’t the real issue, I have enough! It’s the fact
that I’m the one expected to be here all the time. I am not an only
child I have two brothers you both need to step up. I finally have
someone I want to spend time with and I can’t, please don’t let me
down again? Mum this is beyond a joke now. We cannot keep living
like this! He hit Jimmy, you’re a mess and me and Andy are all
sorts of messed up.” She was dead in her eyes again.

“Stop Sam, she’s not here again, look.” We took her to bed
and I undressed her and put her to bed. I gave her some of her
sleeping tablets and sat with her until she slept. Jimmy was coming
out of the bathroom.

“I will stop with her tonight, you stop at Michelle’s and I
will make sure she’s all right.” I was shocked.

“Cheers Jimmy, I would appreciate that! Andy will be here
later, if anything kicks off just watch your back and if he starts
lock our door shove the bed in front of the door and lock yourself
and Mum in her room and move the bed over the door! He has enough
money to not come home for a couple of days, hopefully he won’t,
and I’m sorry I was late, it won’t happen again, I promise.” I went
back to bed for a while, I needed to sleep I spent most of the
night looking down on Michelle.

I woke and had a bath. Stopping in there for a while, I’m all
wrinkly and cold when I get out. I dried myself and changed, I
sprayed, adjusted and checked for money, cards and wallet putting
on my watch I smiled, because I was going to meet Michelle. I
checked on Mum and she was still asleep, Jimmy was eating pizza
from the Italian at the bottom of the road. I said goodnight and
headed out. I walked towards her house and I’m wondering what sort
of leg break I was in for, none I hoped? I arrived and Susan let me
in and Becky made me a coffee. Her Aunt Elizabeth had joined us,
introductions given and hugs dished out.

“Nice to meet you Sam, Susan says you’re taking our Michelle
out for a late night, you will look after her won’t you?” I smiled
at her family they looked so natural and normal and this was all
I’d ever wanted. I smiled because this was nice, the love she must
feel with so many people looking out for her?

“I promise she won’t be out of my sight, not for one single
second.” With that Michelle came down and opened the door, wow, I
am so lucky, she is all mine, damn wow…

Work went slower than usual, I thought Sam would have been in,
but he was a no show, I went to Marks at dinner time red and black
bra, knickers and a very pretty pair of black silk stockings, and
so along with the other stuff a suspender belt was purchased, along
with a second set in cream. It was like I’d been and bought
contraband. I will see what it looks like when I get home, I wasn’t
willing to try before I bought. I got home and nothing was said
about Sam, so I went to the kitchen.

“Mum about last night? Sam stopped the night, but nothing
happened we just fell asleep talking and I think Dad may have come
in for his cigs. It’s bad enough he’s already warned Sam off about
us having sex, not that we have or are about to either, so can you
please have a word?” She looked at me and didn’t look as though she
cared one way or the other.

“Your Dad isn’t too pleased but we would rather you were safe
in here, than messing around in some God forsaken place. Just be
very careful Michelle. I’m glad you’re on the pill. Dad by the way
now knows about that too, I’ve explained to him why and the what
not’s of it all, and he’s a little more relaxed. Is this serious
Michelle?”

“I think so Mum, no I know so. I’m not changing any of my
plans though, I’m still doing the list thing and he’s fine with it
for now. I’m just taking it as it comes. Right, I’m going for a
bath I need to be out in an hour is Dad in or out?” Mum shook her
head.

“Dad’s taken Gramps and Grams home, they need a few things
fixing before the estate agent comes Monday.” I was
shocked.

“Why didn’t they wait until Monday to go? I’m on the coach
then. I scuttled off upstairs ran my bath, towel dried my hair.
Shit this sexy underwear’s a bit foreign to me. It was like
wrangling snakes, something that made me laugh, as I envisaged what
this stuff would do to his snake? Once on though it looked great,
and wow, the stockings were so amazing.

I finished off my hair with some new gel stuff, to keep it
soft and still curly. Then to the dress, it fits even better with
some of the curves I’d acquired. They made the dress look ten times
better than it did before, red shoes on and all done, red bag from
bottom of wardrobe, just big enough for new strawberry lip-gloss,
tissues, comb and money.

There was a knock at the door it was Sam. I wondered if I’d
pass muster? Well time would tell, I headed downstairs and I popped
my head around the door.

“You ready Sam?” Mum was having none of it.

“In here Michelle, let’s see what you look like.” I made my
entrance.

“You look very nice” Aunty Liz was sitting in.

“Is that the dress you got last year your Dad thought
inappropriate?”

“Yes Mum.” I shrugged my shoulders, they remembered the
tantrum and the argument I had with my dictator of a father. He
wasn’t far from it, but he won the battle to stop me growing up,
he’d won that time and I sulked all night. “Yes, is it ok do I have
to change?” The whole room Becky included raised their voices in
unison.

“No, you look lovely.” Sam however was silent.

“Are we off then Sam?” He really was quite strange and quiet,
oh my days had they been giving him the third degree when I wasn’t
here?

“Yes… Come on then, don’t worry, I’ll have her back safe and
sound.” We’d been walking forever, well about ten steps really. It
just seemed like forever, I stopped.

“Right what have I done, do I need to go back and change?” He
looked at me.

“You look stunning and I’m the luckiest fella alive, I can’t
believe you want to be with me?” I am a very happy
Michelle.

“I look fine then? Under the dress I feel like a prize goose,
all trust up for Christmas.” He put his arm around my
waist.

“Why, what’s going on under the dress?” I laughed.

“Lots, but most can be left to your imagination and why
wouldn’t I want to be with you? You had me from the minute I saw
you at Ridgley’s Sam.” He held me tightly.

“I love you Miss Welles. Oh hell when did I get so lucky?” We
ambled into the pub that apparently was called The Frog in’t Mud,
or The Dirty Toad, dependant on your fondness for the place! This
was it seems fast becoming my local. Andy was at the bar, as Sam
went for drinks and I sat down, the place was packed, there were
loads more in here at night and it had to be said I didn’t look out
of place, the brothers Todd came back over, armed with
drinks.