A Little Bit of Déjà Vu (37 page)

“Sorry, Dad, we didn’t expect you back so soon. I need to get Em’s robe.”

“No, it’s my fault I came back early. I need to call your mom.” He glanced at the bathroom door, which Alex had left open a crack. The room was pitch black inside. “I think you accidentally turned off the lights and left Emma in the dark.”

Alex yanked the door closed and whispered, “Uhh, she’s a little—uh.” His Adam’s apple bobbed a couple of times, and he tossed his hands up. “Jeez, we’re married, why am I apologizing and explaining to you?”

“I don’t know. Why are you?” Jake chuckled and continued down the hall. His guess would be Emma was still a little shy about undressing with the lights on. He had to give his kid credit for being patient with her.

When he got to the bedroom, he punched out Roxanne’s number and fought to keep the rage out of his voice when she answered. “Hi, Rox, how are you?”

“Actually, I couldn’t be better. Chris was planning to call you tomorrow. We’re getting married. Do you think forty-two is too old to become a mother again?”

Jake’s throat constricted as he thought of his three children who were never born and the fourth that might soon be lost. “Not at all,” he rasped in a hoarse voice. “Lots of women have babies in their forties. Congratulations.”

“Maybe I can get it right this time. How’s Emma doing?”

“Good. But she’ll be seeing the doctor every week from here on out.” He drew in a deep breath. “Listen, Roxy, if you never do another thing for me, I need an honest answer from you about something.”

“Uhh—okay.”

“The week before we got married, did you take a certified letter Maggie sent me?”

His ex-wife’s breathing accelerated on the other end of the otherwise silent line. After several agonizing moments, Roxanne choked out, “Can you ever forgive me?”

He rubbed his eyes. “Yes, Honey. I just need to know what happened. I’ve been caught between loving and hating Maggie all these years.”

“I’m sorry.” Roxanne’s voice cracked. “I’d convinced myself that you’d gotten snared in a pre-wedding fling, and that if I loved you enough, I could make you forget her.”

“That’s funny. I hoped the very same thing.”

His ex-wife sniffled. “By the time I realized what a terrible mistake I’d made, it was too late. I lived in terror you would find out what I’d done and hate me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“Ahh, Rox, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve
your
forgiveness. I never should’ve married you, feeling the way I did.”

“Well, maybe now you and Maggie can—”

“I only wish that was the case. I asked her to marry me. She’s not interested.”

The doorbell’s chime echoed through the house. He glanced at his watch. The guys on his team knew better than to show up after ten. “I have to go, there’s someone at my door.”

When he answered the bell, Brandy stood on the porch with a large envelope. “Hi, Coach. I’m sorry to visit so late, but it’s important that I speak to Alex.”

Now what? He closed his eyes, refusing to speculate as to what could be so urgent. The last thing he wanted was to let this girl talk to his son, but that wasn’t his decision to make. Alex was an adult with the right to make his own choices—even if he sometimes showed the good judgment of a goalpost.

“Come in.” He showed her into the living room.

Brandy stared at the carpet and whispered, “I guess you don’t think very much of me anymore, huh?”

“My opinion of you isn’t important. What counts is what you think of yourself.”

“I’m not very proud,” she admitted.

“Then why’d you do it?”

Her lower lip trembled. “I just wanted Alex to like me.”

“You’re too smart and pretty to degrade yourself that way, Brandy.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “It’s not as if I’ve ever actually had sex with anyone.”

“Your definition needs revising. Bringing a person to orgasm is sex. Going down on your knees for boys might get you a lot of dates, but it won’t earn you their respect. Do you really want a guy who’s only using you to get off?”

She gnawed on her lip and silently shook her head.

He glanced pointedly at her low-cut blouse. “Do you want the man you care for to see you as just a sex object? Or do you want him to consider you a friend he might want to share the rest of his life with?”

“I want to be his friend,” she murmured.

He tipped her chin up and stared into her eyes. “If I recall correctly, you won an academic scholarship, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “I’m going to commute to Temple on the train.”

“Well, when you get to college, you’ll have a chance to reinvent yourself. No one will know you or have any preconceptions about you other than the image you project. It’ll be your choice what sort of person you become. I’m hoping it’ll be someone you can respect.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. “Thanks, Coach. Alex is lucky to have you for a dad.”

That was debatable. He’d really let his son down lately.

“Would you mind if I come by to visit you once in a while to talk?”

“Not at all.” Jake smiled. “I’d like to hear how you’re doing at school. I’ll go get Alex.” He wandered down the hall and tapped on his son’s door. “Alex,” he called, “Brandy’s here.”

“What the hell does
she
want?”

“You’d know that better than I would.”

A few moments later, his son flung the door open and stomped out of the bedroom, wearing just a pair of gym shorts. Alex glanced back and noticed Emma shadowing him in her robe. He turned and put his arms around her. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

“I want to,” she whispered. “It’s her I don’t—”

“No, Angel. If you don’t believe I’m capable of resisting Brandy’s come-ons, it’s
me
you don’t trust.”

Emma hung back in the family room with Jake. Her gaze kept darting to the hallway for several interminable minutes while the sound of Alex and Brandy’s muffled voices drifted in to them. Finally, Jake couldn’t stand watching his daughter-in-law suffer any longer. “You know there’s nothing to stop you from joining them.”

“No, I can’t. Alex is right. I need to learn to trust him. At least until he gives me a reason not to.”

A few minutes later, his son strolled into the family room, carrying the envelope Brandy had brought. “You’re not going to believe this, Dad. Brandy told me practically every one of Dr. Carmichael’s patients called and canceled their appointments on Friday. On top of that, Phil told Brandy his mom is sick of the rotten role model his dad is, so she’s filing for divorce and suing for full custody of his younger brother and baby sister.”

“Great.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Now the SOB will blame me for his practice and marriage failing and losing his kids, too. Is that all Brandy wanted?”

“No.” Alex smiled at Emma. “The reason she called my cell phone the other night was to warn me that Phil was bragging to everyone that my father and I were going to get what was coming to us at the board meeting. Afterward, when she found out about the picture, she made Phil give her all the copies and watched him delete the files from his computer. She came here tonight to apologize and to give me the prints to destroy.”

Emma stood and wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck. “I can’t believe that jerk gave them to her so easily.”

“Well, he didn’t, exactly.” He grinned. “Not until she threatened to spread some very nasty rumors about a certain part of his anatomy.”

“That I can believe.” Emma chuckled, pulling on his arm. “Let’s go back to bed.”

“You go ahead, Angel. I’m not really tired anymore. I think I’ll stay up a while.”

She slid one hand up his bare chest. “We don’t have to go to sleep.” Her mouth curved in a shy smile. “What I mean is—I don’t mind if you leave the lights on.”

Jake smiled as Alex grabbed his wife’s hand and dragged her down the hall, calling over his shoulder, “Goodnight, Dad.”

Maybe for him it was. As far as Jake was concerned, the whole day had sucked and the night wasn’t looking much better.

Chapter 20

The phone rang just as Maggie dozed off. She answered groggily and sat right up when the caller identified herself as Roxanne Warrington.

“I’m sorry for bothering you so late. You’re probably wondering why I’m calling at all.”

That was an understatement.

“You see, I just got off the phone with Jake. I wanted you to know he was telling you the truth about the letter you sent him. I’m ashamed to admit I took it.”

“Stealing mail is a federal crime.”

“I know it was wrong and stupid. But I was terrified of losing him. He’s forgiven me, and I’m hoping you might, too.”

Maggie swallowed hard. “Well, that’s a lot easier for Jake, seeing as he loves you. But you’re my daughter’s mother-in-law, so it wouldn’t do much for family harmony if I hold a grudge against you.” She’d harbored enough bitterness to last a lifetime. The only person it hurt was her.

“Thank you. I don’t know if I could be as charitable in your place.”

Maggie squeezed her eyes shut. “I understand you’re moving back. I hope things work out for you this time.”

“That’s very sweet of you. Actually, we decided tonight to get married and, if all goes well, we’ll be having a baby. I never dreamed I’d get a second chance.”

The only time Jake could’ve been with Roxanne was the night before Alex and Emma got married. Right before he’d taken Maggie into his bed—the same bed that evidently hadn’t had a chance to cool from Roxanne’s visit. Maggie preferred to believe he’d snuck into the guest room to sleep with his ex-wife. At least the thought of that didn’t turn her stomach quite so much.

“Congratulations.” Maggie wiped her eyes and sniffled. “I’m sure Jake’s thrilled.” Her throat tightened making it difficult to speak. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Goodbye.”

She hung up and buried her face in her pillow while her body shuddered through brokenhearted sobs. How could she love someone she hated so much?

Sure, the champagne might have impaired Jake’s judgment the night of the wedding, but he’d been completely clearheaded the evening he’d seduced her in her kitchen and held her in his arms until dawn. He’d taken her that night with no more qualms or hesitation than he’d shown nineteen years ago while he was still engaged to Roxanne. Some things never changed.

~~~

Jake lay on his back, staring into the darkness, his hands interlocked behind his head. How could he bear spending the next forty years without Maggie? Before she’d come back into his life, he’d resigned himself to being alone. He’d been content, filling his life with his work and coaching. Now, none of that was enough. He wasn’t just alone. He was lonely.

As he rolled over and punched his pillow, the phone rang. He scooped the receiver off the night table and mumbled, “Hullo.” At the sound of Roxanne’s voice, he flipped on the light and rubbed his eyes. “What’s up?”

“I’m not sure. I had the strangest conversation with Maggie, and something just hit me.”

“Why’d you call her?”

“I wanted to apologize about the letter.” His ex-wife sighed. “You know she’s really a very gracious person.”

“Yeah, I know.” He swallowed the lump clogging his throat. “She’s pretty damn near perfect.”

“Well, something struck me as odd after I hung up. I’d told her I was getting married and that I hoped to have a baby.”

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “Yeah, so?”

“It wasn’t
what
she said, Jake. It was the way she said it. I think she might’ve been crying. Did you tell her I was moving in with Chris?”

Twisting his lips, he tried to recall if he’d mentioned it. “I don’t remember. Alex probably did, though. What are you trying to tell me, Rox?”

“I’m wondering if she’s under the impression that you and I are reconciling. When I told her about my plans to have another child, she said she was sure you must be thrilled.”

He stared silently at the receiver a moment. It all made sense. “Thanks. I appreciate you letting me know.”

Smiling, he hung up the phone. Some psychologist he was. One of the first things he learned as a clinician was to pay close attention to more than just a person’s words. All along, the vibes he’d gotten from Maggie said she still had strong feelings for him. If that was the case, maybe when she’d emphatically refused to get involved in a loveless marriage, it’d been
his
love she’d considered missing.

He pulled on his clothes and scribbled a note for Alex and Emma. At twelve-thirty, he pulled up in front of Maggie’s condo. He pressed her doorbell and frowned when he didn’t hear it ring inside.

Damn it. She must not have reconnected the bell. He scanned the dark windows in the surrounding units. If he pounded loud enough to wake her, he’d disturb half her neighbors, too.

~~~

Maggie rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head to block out the annoying tapping sound. When it grew louder, she sat up in a daze and threw back the covers. Jerking up the blinds, she found Jake standing on the opposite side of the glass.

“What in the world are you doing here at this hour?” She lifted the window, and the sweet scent of the flowers she’d planted drifted in with a cool breeze that made her shiver. The temperature had dropped drastically.

“Let me in, Maggie.”

“Why should I?”

“Because we’ll wake your neighbors if you don’t.” Thunder echoed in the distance, drowning out the crickets’ chirping. “And in any second, I’m going to get soaked.”

“It would serve you right,” she said, raising the screen. “I guess you’re taking lessons from your son now, huh?”

He hoisted himself up onto the windowsill and climbed in. “Actually his antics did give me the idea. You haven’t reconnected your bell. I didn’t want to wake everyone in the complex by pounding on your door.”

Once he closed the window and blinds, he snapped on the light. His gaze raked her body, and a warm flush crept up her neck as he studied the pale pink, slinky nightgown Dan had bought for her right before he’d been killed.

Her husband never had the chance to see her in it, so she hadn’t had the heart to wear the nightie. But tonight, she’d hoped that wrapping herself in his gift would help ease her heartache and comfort her. Instead, sliding into bed by herself, wearing something so seductive, had simply made her feel even more alone.