A Little Bit of Holiday Magic (4 page)

All she’d wanted to do while dating Damon was think and talk about their future. But she knew guys weren’t like that. “That would get old.”

“Didn’t your family do that?”

“No, my family didn’t want me getting serious with Damon. His family felt the same way.”

“Why?”

“They thought we were too young. I was fifteen when we started dating. Nineteen when we wed. My parents couldn’t forgive me for eloping and marrying a man who’d joined the military instead of going to college. They haven’t spoken to me since. Damon’s folks were furious when he enlisted. They’d asked me to talk him out of it. Our getting married only made things worse.”

“You’d think both sets of parents would be proud of what Damon was doing. The sacrifice he and you were making.”

Bill had no idea how horrible both sets of parents had acted. “We made our choices. They made theirs.”

He glanced around the doorway into the living room, then back at Grace. “Have you started dating again?”

Answering should be simple, but the unexpectedly personal question startled her. “A few months ago I went out with another Ranger.”

“It didn’t work out.”

“He proposed. On the third date.”

“Whoa.”

“That’s exactly what I thought.” She poured batter onto the skillet. “Kyle is a sweet guy from Damon’s platoon, but I wasn’t sure if he was serious about marriage or trying to do the right thing by a fallen mate.”

“Sounds like a good man, either way.”

“He is, but...”

“But?”

She remembered Kyle, all earnest and sincere, proposing while Liam napped on the couch. She was all for being practical, but Kyle was a friend, nothing more. “I wasn’t in love with him. We went on a few more dates, then it was time for him to deploy and...”

“Hard to go through that again.”

“I wasn’t going through it again.” She hadn’t been ready to marry another hero. She didn’t want to love a man and give her all, but not be his priority.

God. Country. Army. Family.

That was how Damon’s priorities fell. The army and serving a greater good had always come before her and Liam. She’d known where she’d fallen on the list going into the marriage, had accepted her place, respected it, because she was young, and her love for Damon was that strong.

But she was not about to accept being second, third or fourth again. Not for any man.

Grace and Liam deserved to be the number one priority. She would never settle for anything less.

* * *

“Breakfast was delicious.” Sitting at the table, Bill leaned back in the chair, his stomach full and a satisfied smile on his face. He liked having a woman cook breakfast for him, especially one with sleep-rumpled hair, wearing his pajamas. The circles under Grace’s eyes had faded. She must have slept well last night. That pleased him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Glancing out the window, she dragged her upper teeth over her bottom lip. “The snow is coming down hard.”

“This morning’s weather forecast predicts it will fall all day and into the night. A real bummer.”

Her features tensed. “I’m sorry if we’re in your way.”

“You’re not in the way.” Bill annunciated each word. He needed to be careful what he said. Grace took things too personally. “I’m bummed the weather will keep me from skiing today. I have to be at the station early tomorrow morning, so I’ll miss making first tracks in the freshies.”

Grace gave him a blank stare.

“Powder,” he clarified. “You don’t ski.”

“There are ski resorts in Iowa, but skiing wasn’t something Damon and I ever tried.”

Bill couldn’t tell from her tone whether she was interested in the sport or not. “It’s never too late to learn.”

“I doubt there’s a ski resort near Astoria.”

Not interested. Too bad. Bet she would like skiing if she gave it a try. “No, but the mountain will always be here.”

“Maybe when Liam is older.”

“He’s old enough now.”

She stared at her son, who was picking chocolate chips out of his pancakes. “He’s three.”

Liam raised four fingers. “Almost four.”

“That’s the age I learned to ski.”

“But you lived on the mountain.” Grace’s words rushed out. “I bet everyone in Hood Hamlet skis when they’re in preschool.”

Bill didn’t know if she was trying to convince him or herself. “Many do, but lots of kids who don’t live here learn to ski at a young age. The earlier, the better. That way there’s no fear.”

She shook her head. “Fear seems healthy, considering you’re speeding down a mountain.”

“Kids have a lower center of gravity and don’t have as far to fall. Helmets protect them.” Liam had chocolate and maple syrup smeared on his chin. Bill could count the number of family breakfasts he’d had, growing up, with both his mom and dad at the table. That was too bad because this was...nice. “Want me to teach you how to ski, little dude?”

Liam raised his hands in the air. “Ski...!”

Grace shook her head. “He doesn’t know what skiing is.”

“I’ll show him.”

“Maybe if we were staying—”

“Look out the window. You’re not going anywhere.”

“You can’t go to the mountain today. Tomorrow you work.”

Okay, she had a point. Bill shouldn’t have offered to teach Liam to ski. He shouldn’t have flirted with Grace before breakfast, either. He might find her attractive, but he didn’t want her to think he was romantically interested in her.

“Just an idea.” A bad one, except... Bill’s dad might be alive, but he’d never been around long enough to show him how to do anything. Liam’s father was dead. The kid was going to need someone to teach him about the outdoors and other guy stuff. “But who knows how long it’ll take them to fix your truck.”

Grace’s lips parted, a combination of shock and panic. “I thought I could leave today.”

Maybe Bill should have included denial in the mix. “Not in
this
weather.”

“Once the storm passes...”

Damn. She had no idea about how long bodywork could take. Neither did he, but the vehicle wouldn’t be ready today. “A claims adjustor from your insurance company needs to assess the damage before your truck can be repaired. Sometimes they don’t have to do it in person, but other times they will.”

Her head dropped slightly. She touched her forehead with both hands, rubbing her temples as if trying to put out a fire.

He wished she would relax. “Thad Humphreys owns the body shop. He’s a good guy. A great mechanic. Talk to him before you start worrying.”

Her hands froze. “Who says I’m worrying?”

She was the epitome of worry. Bill didn’t like that. “No one.”

Grace lowered her arms to her side. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“I’m sure you do.” He wanted to help her, but some things he couldn’t do. “I hate to add to your list of things to do, but you should contact your insurance company and file a claim.”

“I called them after Liam fell asleep last night. I didn’t think you’d mind me using your phone.”

Not a complete damsel in distress. “I don’t.”

“I wonder if they’ve towed the truck.”

“Not yet.”

Her shoulders slumped.

He didn’t like seeing her so dejected. “I bet as soon as there’s a break in the weather, they’ll be right out.”

Her mouth twisted.

“This isn’t what you wanted to happen, but try to enjoy yourself.” He wished she didn’t seem so concerned all the time. “Relax.”

“I need to clean up the kitchen.”

“The dishes can wait.”

Someone needed to show Grace how to lighten up and have fun. Bill knew how to make that happen.

Not in his usual way.

He needed to get her on the mountain and fill her lungs with fresh air and put a smile on her face that would last longer than a blink. Too bad the weather wasn’t cooperating.

“Snowman, snowman,” Liam chanted.

“It’s snowing too hard.” Bill hated to disappoint the kid, but safety first. “We’re going to have to stay inside for now.”

Liam pouted.

“I’m sure we can find something else to do,” Grace said.

Bill reviewed the options for kid fun inside his house. Not much beyond TV, Xbox and a few board games. And then he remembered. “I could use some help decorating my Christmas tree.”

Liam bounced Peanut on the table. “Tree. Tree.”

“He’s in.” Bill flashed Grace a charming grin. Not the one that encouraged beautiful, sexy women to type their numbers into his cell phone. The I’m-a-good-guy-you-can-trust-me grin he used on everybody else. “What about you?”

The look on her face made him think she was doing calculus in her head. “Uh, sure, but would it be okay if I took a shower first?”

Sexy images of bare skin, hot water and steam filled his head. He would like nothing better than to join her.

Bill swallowed. “Go ahead. I’ll take care of the kitchen.”

Grace rose. “My suitcase?”

“In the living room by the front door.” He started clearing the table, leaving Liam to finish gorging himself on chocolate chips dipped in maple syrup. Two of Bill’s favorite foods. “I didn’t see any cracks in the shell last night. I went ahead and grabbed a couple of plastic bins from the back. One had a few toys in it.”

“Thanks,” she said. “The conditions must have been horrendous.”

“I’ve been out in worse.”

“With OMSAR?”

“In June, during a mission, my team had to spend the night in a snow cave.”

“You must have been freezing.”

“It was fun.”

She studied him. “You like to have fun.”

“Fun is the name of the game.”

Having them here was fun. A different kind of fun than Bill was used to having, but he had no complaints. Even if nudity wasn’t involved. Which it wouldn’t be. Not with Grace. Only wholesome, kid-friendly fun. Still, he had a feeling he wouldn’t have to worry about being bored.

That was good.

Bill carried more dishes to the counter.

His dad claimed boredom was the enemy. Bill hated being bored. He liked a variety of activities. One thing—an activity or a woman—never held his attention for long. Another reason why settling down held zero appeal.

His parents had celebrated their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary this year, but Bill wondered why his dad had gone the wife-and-kid-route in the first place. The man worked all over the globe, wherever his job in the oil industry took him. He never wanted to be home, had never wanted them to visit him on site. His dad never wanted them around, period.

Bill hated hearing his mom say he was like his father. He didn’t want to be like his dad. Didn’t want to break his wife’s heart each time he left, and wasn’t there when she needed him. He didn’t want to break promises to his kid, who loved him more than anything. He didn’t want his family to ever question whether he loved them back or not.

But he
was
like his father. Bill had failed his mother during her pregnancy. He’d failed helping Hannah after Nick died. He’d failed his best friend, Leanne, by not realizing she’d been spending her holidays alone.

Bill wouldn’t get involved in a serious relationship.

He didn’t want to fail and hurt another woman.

Not after seeing what his mom had gone through over the years, and was still going through when his dad was away.

Bill couldn’t do that to a child.

Not after wondering if he’d done something to make his dad not want to be around.

No way. That wouldn’t be fun or fair.

CHAPTER FOUR

“W
INTER
W
ONDERLAND
”
PLAYED
 
on Bill’s living room speakers. Light snow fell outside the wood-framed windows. Grace might as well be standing inside a snow globe. She knew exactly how the enclosed glass bubble world would feel. Cozy and comfortable and safe.

How she felt right now.

Unbelievable. Under the circumstances.

Bill dug through a big box. “There’s an ornament in here you’ll like, little dude.”

“I’ll help.” Liam set Peanut on the floor.

At the breakfast table, the handsome firefighter had wanted her to relax. She’d figured that wasn’t possible. Two hours later, she realized she’d been wrong. Grace half laughed.

Bill glanced her way. “You look more relaxed.”

Someone could flip her make-believe world upside down to shake the snow, and still she knew today would be okay. An odd feeling, given the uncertainty over her truck. “Surprisingly, I am.”

“Look at that, bud, your mom is chillin’ in Hood Hamlet.”

Liam grinned. “Chillin’ Mommy.”

“I can’t remember the last time I
chilled,
but the Christmas spirit around here is contagious.” Bill’s faded jeans and blue henley shirt could easily be a red velvet Santa suit that matched the hat he wore. “I’m waiting for you to start ho-ho-hoing.”

He put his hands on his flat stomach and leaned back. “Ho-ho-ho.”

Liam burst out laughing.

Grace appreciated Bill’s sense of humor. “How do you make everything so much fun?”

He shrugged. “It’s a gift.”

“A wonderful gift.” Bill helped Grace focus on the present. Something she hadn’t done in far too long. Humming along to the song, she hung a silver bell on the tree.

The branch bounced.

The bell rang. The chime lingered on the fir-scented air.

Arms outstretched, Liam ran to the front door, where a two-inch-wide red leather strap with four gold bells hung from the doorknob. He pulled on the strap, ringing them.

Bill sang the chorus from “Jingle Bells.”

Grace joined in.

The singing invigorated Liam. With each shake, his impish grin widened. He bounced from foot to foot, excited and offbeat.

The song ended, but Liam didn’t stop ringing the bells. If he had pointy ears and shoes, he would make the perfect elf to Bill’s Santa. The thought blanketed her heart with warmth.

She adjusted a silver ball on the tree. “The jingling makes me think of a horse-drawn sleigh.”

Bill gave Liam a thumbs-up. “Ever been on one?” he asked her.

“No, but I saw one in a Hallmark Christmas movie on TV.”

Liam’s ringing went on and on and on.

Grinning, Bill shook his head. “The little dude likes the bells.”

“Liam loves all types of bells.” She motioned her son back to the tree. “I’ll hang the strap somewhere out of reach.”

“Don’t. The front door is perfect.” Bill’s gaze traveled from the miniature village on the end table, past a clock on the wall that played carols on the hour, over a stuffed Christmas moose on the entertainment unit to a nativity scene set on the mantel. “Thanks for putting out the decorations. The house is ready for Santa.”

Memories of a revolving iridescent tree that changed colors rushed back. Her mom had loved anything unique when it came to Christmas. The more bizarre the decoration, the better. But Grace had been uninvited from all holidays, her cards and presents returned unopened the year she’d married Damon.

Grace preferred rustic and homespun decor, like the kind she’d found in the additional boxes of Christmas decorations Bill had brought out. She’d had a blast finding spots for each item. She couldn’t wait for him to see his snowman-themed guest bath or his candy-cane kitchen. “You’re welcome, but decorating was my pleasure.”

She’d made halfhearted attempts to make Christmas special for Liam, but he’d been too young to know what was happening, and she’d felt so alone after Damon died. But today was different.

After years of apartment living, she’d dreamed about spending Christmas in a house, decking the halls and trimming a real tree. Only today was no dream. Everything was real, from sitting around the table eating breakfast like a family, to spending the day with Bill, who was proving to be...well, maybe a little too perfect.

The perfect host, anyway.

No man was perfect.

A guy like Bill, a first responder and hero, someone who risked his life and put the needs of others ahead of his own family, was far from Grace’s idea of Mr. Right. If she were interested in finding Mr. Right.

She wasn’t.

Maybe after she made a life for herself in Astoria, and Liam was older. But she had no reason to be thinking about that now.

Time to embrace the feeling of family and enjoy the glad tidings tied up in a shiny ribbon. Maybe this would be the start of a new tradition for her and Liam.

She’d never seen him happier.

“Look at this.” Bill showed Liam an ornament. “My dad gave me this fire engine when I told him I wanted to be a firefighter. It’s one of my favorites. Put it on the tree for me.”

Liam’s mouth formed an O.

Bill handed over the ornament.

Her son held the miniature fire truck as he would a priceless treasure.

“Find an empty branch,” Bill encouraged.

Liam scanned the tall tree. He raised his arm toward a bare branch, but came four inches short. The ornament dangled from his little fingers.

Grace’s heart lurched. If he let go...

Liam rose on his tiptoes.

She held her breath.

Bill’s smile didn’t waver. “Almost there, buddy.”

He didn’t sound concerned at all.

She nibbled a fingernail.

The tip of Liam’s tongue stuck out between his lips. He stretched again, but fell short. Dropping onto his heels, he puckered his lips.

Bill rubbed his whisker-covered chin. Liam hadn’t given the guy time to shower this morning, let alone shave.

The stubble gave Bill a dangerous edge. She wondered if the whiskers would scratch her face if he kissed her. Not that she wanted to be kissed by him. Or anybody else.

“That’s a good branch you picked out, but why stop there?” Bill asked. “Help me put the fire truck toward the top.”

Liam nodded, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

Bill lifted him into the air.

“Higher,” Liam commanded, then giggled.

With a whoop and a holler, Bill obliged.

Liam beamed like the brightest star in the sky on Christmas Eve.

Grace placed her hand over her thrumming heart. She loved seeing her son so happy. They both needed to laugh more. That would be one of her New Year’s resolutions.

Liam pointed at her. “Mommy’s turn. Lift her up.”

Heat rushed up her neck. “I’m too heavy.”

Setting Liam on the ground, Bill grinned wryly. “You’re not even close to being too heavy.”

Liam grabbed a Nutcracker ballerina from the box and handed the ornament to her. “Go on, Mommy. Lots of empty branches up top.”

The thought of Bill’s large, warm hands around her waist made Grace want to fan herself. He could make her skin dance and her blood boil with a simple touch. But she shouldn’t. She couldn’t. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t want you to hurt your back.”

“Remember, all those green fruits and veggies made me strong.” Bill’s voice lowered to a deep and oh-so-sexy tone. “I can handle you.”

Her heart tripped. “I’m not sure I can handle
you.
”

He raised a brow. “You never know unless you try.”

Temptation flared. Grace loved a challenge. That was how she’d ended up dating Damon back in high school. But she was no longer a teenager caught up in that first blush of love.

This morning, the line between daydreams and reality was blurring. Grace couldn’t be reckless with her heart. She couldn’t be reckless with Liam. She had to be careful. Not douse the spark waiting to ignite inside her with a full container of lighter fluid.

She raised her chin, meeting Bill’s gaze straight on. “I could try, but it’s not worth the risk. What if you’re wrong and throw your back out? You won’t be able to finish decorating the tree, or make a snowman if the weather improves, or go to work in the morning.”

She and her son had never experienced this kind of family time preparing for the holidays. Having Bill a part of it was special. No sense letting fear ruin the day for Liam.

Bill studied her. “You’re practical.”

Grace expected to hear teasing in his voice, not...respect. “Being practical goes with being a mom.”

Bill swept Liam into the air again. “You’re a lucky guy to have such a great mom.”

Her heart went pitter-pat like the Little Drummer Boy’s stick against his drum. Her life revolved around being Liam’s mom. There was no better compliment. “Thanks.”

Holding on to a glittery green ball, Liam nodded. “Best mommy ever.”

Grace’s chest tightened. All she’d ever wanted to be was a great mom. A great wife, too. Maybe someday she’d get another chance at the latter. “You’re the best son ever.”

Liam nodded. “And Bill best daddy.”

The word
daddy
floated on the air, a comic strip dialogue bubble looming over Bill’s head.

Her joy evaporated. Her stomach churned. Her heart hurt. He was going to burst Liam’s bubble and...

Bill casually ruffled her son’s hair. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, little dude. Where do you want to hang the ball?”

Grace released the breath she’d been holding.

Liam pointed to one of the upper branches. “There.”

“You’ve got this.” Bill lifted him higher.

Her son hooked the ornament on the tree and was lowered to the floor. He dived into the box of ornaments. “More. More.”

“Let’s put them all on,” Bill said.

Maybe she’d overreacted, hearing Liam call another man Daddy. Maybe she’d been the only one feeling uncomfortable. Maybe Bill could smooth over an awkward moment like buttercream icing on a wedding cake.

A
wedding
cake?

Her insides trembled.

Maybe she’d better forget this holiday fun and run as far away from Bill as she could during the next break in the storm. Not that she had a way to leave besides her two feet. Darn it.

Grace could count on one hand the times Liam had said the word
daddy.
He didn’t remember his father. He’d been too young. But she told him stories about Damon and showed him pictures. Liam had seen other kids and their daddies at preschool and at the college day care where he’d stayed while she attended classes.

Guess he thought Bill looked like a daddy.

A superhot daddy.

Don’t go there.

Getting her son a daddy wasn’t on her to-do list. Or her Christmas list.

Bill Paulson was not the answer to their prayers. He was not going to wrap himself up in a big bow. He was a one-day savior, not a long-term one.

Not that Grace needed saving.

She needed to get a grip on her fantasies and kick him out of the starring role.

He touched her shoulder. “You okay?”

Grace startled. No, she wasn’t okay, but she nodded, not wanting to admit the truth. She needed to protect her son’s heart. How was she going to do that? And protect herself, too.

She glanced out the window. Still snowing. That meant she was stuck here with Liam’s idea of a daddy. And Bill happily acting the part.

His eyes didn’t let go. “You look miles away.”

She wished she was miles away. Away from him and the sugarplum temptation of his make-believe world, where all was safe and perfect.

Grace, of all people, knew better.

She gave her head a hard shake. “Just thinking.”

“About me?” he teased.

Her cheeks flamed. If he only knew...

He made her feel things she’d buried deep inside her when she’d laid her husband to rest at Arlington. She would rather face a roomful of black widow spiders than tell him the truth.

“About today.” Which was true. “I’ve never decorated a live Christmas tree before. They sell them, but we used an artificial one.”

“Then we’re even. I’ve never decorated a fake tree.”

“I can’t imagine buying a fake tree when your backyard is a forest.”

“True, but most of the trees outside are too big for in here. I applied for a permit to cut this one down. I do that every year.”

“Of course you did.” She didn’t hesitate a moment. “You follow the rules.”

He glanced at Liam, who lay on the floor flying an angel ornament in the air, then back at her. Bill’s mouth curved into an inviting you-know-you-want-me smile. “Depends on the rule.”

Enough charm and sensuality infused his words to ignite a ball of heat in her belly.

Not good, Grace. Not good at all.

Her mouth went dry. Her mind raced, imagining what rules he’d broken, where and how. And with whom.

She tried hard to be good, to do what was right. Would she ever have the chance to do something...naughty, or was she stuck being nice?

Liam handed her an angel ornament. “Here, Mommy.”

“Thanks, sweetie.” Grace focused her attention on the angel with feather wings and a gold pipe-cleaner halo, over the picture of a little girl’s face. “Who is this?”

“Kendall Bishop-Willingham.” The tender smile on Bill’s face suggested Kendall was someone special. “She’s the daughter of my friends Hannah and Garrett.”

“Beautiful.”

Bill nodded. “Each year Kendall and her two younger brothers give me ornaments. Without them I’d have nothing but round balls and bells.”

Liam ran to the door and jingled the bells. The sound got louder and louder until she couldn’t hear the Christmas carols playing.

Bill shook his head with a laugh. “I said the magic word.”

“Bells,” she and Bill shouted at the same time.

Liam danced. He rang the bells again.

Her gaze met Bill’s. Something passed between them, the same connection she’d experienced last night.

She wanted to look away, but couldn’t.

He seemed in no hurry, either.

A bell-size lump formed in her throat.