A Lost Kitten (16 page)

“I was told you were looking for me.”

“Where have you been?” John crossed his arms.

“King Yudit did not tell you?”

“First he said you were on an assignment. Then he said you were visiting your family. So which is it? Tell me the truth, Bogdan.”

“The truth is my permanent mate and I are expecting our firstborn in eight lunar cycles. When I left her, I did not know she was carrying a young one.”

“I think you need a refresher course in math.”

Bogdan frowned as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. “What do you mean?”

“It took us three months to get here from Cerko. If she was pregnant when you left, that would make her, what, seven months? You should work on your math before you lie to me.”

Bogdan was obviously offended. He pushed his shoulders back and replied, “I am not lying. My permanent mate is a Medlothian. Their gestational period is fifteen months.”

“Fifteen?” John arched his right eyebrow. “Really?” He had heard of races with long gestational periods, but fifteen months was hard to believe.

“Yes!” Bogdan snapped. “There was an accident the day after I arrived. She almost lost her life and the infant’s. She is struggling to keep from delivering early.”

“Are you telling me the truth?”

“I am.”

“Then I’m sorry to hear that.”

Bogdan took his time to respond. He regarded John’s serious features carefully. “I heard you were upset with me for not keeping to my promise.”

“Word travels fast here, doesn’t it?”

“There is not much else to do on Surreal but gossip. I wanted to tell you myself, I am a man of my word. I will take you back today if you wish.”

John’s heart skipped a beat. He lowered his arms to his side. “Today?”

Bogdan nodded.

John hesitated to yank the man to the nearest ship. Why? He observed Bogdan’s appearance. He saw the weariness in Bogdan’s posture and the dark circles under his eyes.

“But…what about your wife? You just finished telling me she’s having complications.”

“She is.”

“Then don’t you want to be with her?”

“She’s my kindred spirit. This is my firstborn.” Tears filled his eyes. “I could lose them both. There is no other place I want to be.”

John considered his words. He understood the bond between soulmates, though he did not have one. Jasira entered his mind. He blocked her out.

“Then go back to them. I’ll speak to the king about getting another ride.”

Bogdan shook his head negatively. “With the war so close to Surreal, Yudit will not spare a ship to take you hohm. You will be stranded here until…”

“Until?” John raked his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe this shit.”

“I made a promise to you. I will take you hohm.”

John regarded Bogdan’s features more closely. He wanted to go home. He wanted to get as far away from Surreal as possible. He wanted to forget the staggering effect Jasira had on him. But he knew the agonizing pain of worrying about a loved one, and he could not condemn Bogdan to the same fate. So he lifted his hand from his side.

“A promise I absolve you from. A soulmate is far more important than anything else. Your soulmate needs you right now. Your place is by her side.”

Bogdan snatched a hold of John’s arm and vigorously shook it. “Thank you. Thank you, Seacat. You are truly a man of honor. Thank you.”

John watched Bogdan run back in the direction he came from, back to his soulmate’s side. There went his chance to leave Surreal. His gaze switched to the little house beside the school. He recalled what Jasira did to him—the fiery release, the marks he had left on the chair.

He tried to remember the last time he was so excited that he left claw marks behind. Never. There was only one known reason a feline would leave a mark when mating. John stepped backward. He refused to believe it. The fates could not be that cruel to him. He turned around and rushed into the castle.

He searched for a maid and asked for his breakfast to be sent to his room. The maid said she would see to it. It was not the maid who brought his breakfast on a tray.

John stepped aside to allow Dena to enter. He was a bit annoyed with her now. Each time she came near him, she made a pass at him. John knew it was his fault. After all, he had dated Dena for a week. Nevertheless, he did not think ending it would convert her into a stalker. She did not fit the profile. He crossed his arms and watched her carefully. What was she going to try this time?

Dena placed the tray on the small table beside the window. “John,” she said, facing him, “what were you doing at Jasira’s houz yesterday?”

John’s eyes narrowed. He did not like where she was heading. “I thought Tuesdays and Wednesdays were your days off.” He tried to send her in a different direction.

“Yudit forbade you to enter the headmistress’s houz.”

John lowered his arms and stood straighter. “What I do and where I go is my business.”

Dena’s eyes grew cold. “Yudit is the king.”

“Of Surreal. I am a Seacat and an Elder of the Sea-anan Council. No one dictates to me except my empress, who happens to be my little sister.”

Dena’s eyes rounded.

“What are you doing here, Dena?”

“I brought—”

“Don’t give me that. You don’t normally work on Tuesdays, so you’re up to something.”

“Me?” she said, too innocently.

“How did you know I was in Jasira’s house?”

“I saw you.”

John’s features froze in a scowl.

“Through her kitchen window. She really should cover them.”

“Why were you spying?”

“I was not spying. I was checking on my fahder’s horse when I heard growling coming from her houz. I went to check. I saw you with her.”

His scowl stayed.

Dena walked up to him seductively. “You allow her to touch you, but you do not allow me. Why?”

John glared at her.

“She cannot please you like I can.” Her arms snaked around John’s waist. “She is mist. I am solid.” She rubbed her chest on his belly.

It had no effect on him.

Her fingers curled over the edge of her low neckline. “You cannot see her like you can see me.” She exposed her left breast to him.

John glanced at it.

Dena took his hand and placed it over her breast. “You cannot touch her, but you can touch me.” She made him squeeze her as she pressed into his palm.

Her actions caused John’s heart to twist in agony.

“She cannot give you what you really need.” Her hips rubbed his. “I can.”

John’s jaw clenched at her innuendo.

“You will enjoy being with me more.”

John shoved Dena to the side and stomped toward the window. His sights automatically found the little house. All the moments he shared with Jasira flashed through his mind, ending with the claw marks on the chair. His jaw muscles tightened and relaxed repeatedly.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“I said get out!”

“John—”

John roared. He whirled about with eyes aglow. Dena clutched her dress and jumped back.

“Get out before I throw you out!”

Dena ran out of the room, tugging on her dress collar.

John turned back to the window. His glowing gaze landed on the little house. Dena was right. Jasira could never give him what he wanted. Love. Offsprings. Tears filled his eyes. Jasira was the closest he had found to being the woman who possessed the other half of his soul. She increased his desires of having his own family. And she was dead.

John roared his frustrations. His anger was unleashed. He grabbed the tray of food and flung it and its contents across the room. Nothing in the room escaped his fury.

When there was nothing left to destroy, John dropped to his knees in front of the fireplace. There was no fire. No life. Exactly how John felt inside. He covered his face with his hands. His head lowered to the ground. Jasira was dead. Nothing could change that. No power existed that could bring back the dead.

John’s heart shattered. His soul howled its anguish. The pain was suffocating him. Why did it hurt so much? The chair entered his mind. The meaning of the scars placed terror in his soul. If it turned out to be true, he would die. He could not live on without his soulmate.

John had searched the stars for the woman whose touch would enslave him—his soulmate. It was what all felines wanted. A few were willing to settle for second best, a life mate. Not John McCall. He wanted his soulmate.

His head lifted from the floor. He stared into the fireplace and thought of Jasira. He had to find out how long ago the Terrorshans had attacked Surreal. He had to know the truth. If Jasira turned out to be his soulmate, then he was indeed lost.

He could not wait. The only person on Surreal that he felt comfortable enough to speak to about this was Bogdan. He would pay the man a visit tomorrow at first light.

Later that evening, John tried to get comfortable in the copper tub. He wondered how much longer he could tolerate sleeping in a tub half his size. He could not tell if his muscles ached because of his illness or the uncomfortable tub. He rubbed the back of his neck. The tension in his shoulders was agonizing. The hot water lost its soothing affect on him. He no longer enjoyed baths.

John detected the sound of his door being unlocked. He frowned. His senses immediately scanned his surroundings and beyond. He heard it creak open. A life force entered. He leapt out of the tub and dropped to a combat-ready position.

“Who the hell’s there?” His mouth fell open at seeing a tray carrying a black kettle and a mug floating in midair. “What the…Jasira?” John stood up. He felt a chaste kiss on his right cheek. “Jasira, what are you doing here?” His gaze followed the tray and its contents to the new small table beside the window.

Jasira pour a dark liquid into the mug. The mug sailed over to John. A hand cupped his left cheek. She raised the mug to him.

John could not believe it. “You came all this way to bring me medicine?”

Jasira tapped his shoulder once.

John turned away from her and stared into the dancing flames. His hands curved into fists as he fought back the anguish her actions caused him.

“You shouldn’t have.”

He felt Jasira kiss his right shoulder. He made out the contours of her features as she rubbed her face on his bicep. John’s eyes closed tight. He could not keep his torment from showing on his face. To the feline race, her action was considered as scenting territory. Jasira was marking John hers.

John’s knuckles whitened. He longed to be hers. All he thought about that day was being with Jasira. But what sort of future could a man and a dead woman have? His logical side answered
none
. His emotional side said
a
half-life
. A worse half-life than the one he was living, for he would have the woman he wanted, but never truly have her.

John sensed Jasira moving. He risked opening his eyes. The mug was before him. He swallowed past the constriction in his throat. “Are you ever going to stop?”

Her small hand squeezed his forearm twice.

“How many times should I expect you to force me to drink this?”

A finger stroked the back of his fist twice.

“Two. Do you mean twice a day?”

She tapped him once.

John cleared his throat and grabbed the mug. Walking a safe distance from her, he swallowed the medicine. “Thank you.”

Jasira inched closer.

“I need you to leave!” He had not meant to yell at her. It was getting difficult to breathe and speak with the tightening in his chest. “I need to be alone right now. I’m sorry.”

Jasira’s life force did not move. John faced her with glowing eyes. The pain, the rage he felt rising was too powerful to continue suppressing. He wanted Jasira away from him before he lost control.

“Please understand…” he said, blinking back the tears, “I want to be alone.” He felt her backing away. “I’m sorry.”

Her life force went to the table. She lifted the tray and its contents and left. John heard the door closing. It sounded permanent. He threw the mug into the crackling fire.

Early the next morning, Jasira rose from bed. Her first thoughts were of John. He was angry with her. What had she done this time? All she wanted was to please him, to nurse him back to health. How could that make him angry?

She waved her hand across her body. Clean clothes materialized in place of her nightdress. She entered the kitchen through the closed door and began preparing John’s medicine.

She thought about John’s response when she had first touched him. She understood he hesitated to accept her because she was mist. Like her parents advised, she would have to be patient. Not many individuals could handle a formless being touching them. Some had left Surreal never to return, leaving their kindred spirits without hope of returning to a normal and happy future. These Surrealans severed their connection to the planet and faded off into the afterlife.

Jasira would undoubtedly do the same if John left her. He had restored portions of her former self. He made her longings to be solid more profound. Her dreams of having children have taken flight. She could not return to a world without senses or hope. Therefore, she must curb her eagerness to become John’s permanent mate. She could not afford to frighten him away. She must allow John to lead this relationship. He would be the one to decide their future.