As I read the book, memories of my time with Chase came flooding back, memories that I had successfully tucked away and ignored amid all the activity surrounding my mother's illness. But now, as I thought about my life, I started feeling depressed again. I needed to keep focused so I wouldn't sink back into my sorrows. I wanted to keep my eyes on the big picture—keeping God in the center of my life. As long as I remembered that, I wouldn't be able to focus on the temptations around me. Then, before I knew it, I would be through the storm.
I read the book for almost an hour, then went into the extra bedroom and prayed before I read my Bible.
I was in the middle of John, the fourteenth chapter, when the telephone rang. My mother was still napping, so I rushed into the living room and answered, not wanting the ringing to wake her.
“Hello?” I said quietly.
“May I speak with Zoe Clarke, please?” an unfamiliar voice asked.
“Speaking,” I said hesitantly.
“I'm Mr. Douglas Ware, the public-relations director for the Seattle Storm. I received your résumé a few weeks ago and I was quite impressed. So glad your Miami information is still current. I didn't have anything available at that time, but a position has just opened and I'd like to offer you the special-events coordinator.”
I recalled leaving my résumé in the front office of the Seattle Storm a while back. I was told by one of the secretaries that positions probably wouldn't be open till after the season. But she said she would process my résumé anyway. Since my chances weren't good, I hadn't given a thought to it since.
“If you're interested, you could start right away,” he continued, sounding a bit desperate.
“I don't understand,” I said. “Are you saying I wouldn't have to interview?”
“Well, we lost the person who held the position quite suddenly,” he explained. “Terrible timing, since we've had several requests for our football players to speak at various events, now that the team is doing so well. We also have a Christmas party coming up, and with our record, we wanted to do something special.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This job would be an incredible blessing. Just being offered the position proved that with God all things were possible, even when secretaries said otherwise! But I wondered,
Why me? Surely I wasn't the first choice.
“We checked your references,” he said as if he could hear my thoughts. “I spoke at length with your former boss, Blanche Wright, who has occasionally organized events for us. She told me that you were primarily responsible for the governor's ball and the library dedication. Those were first class. We'd really be honored if you could come on board with us.”
I was excited, but then I remembered where I was. “Mr. Ware, I'm in Florida right now on a family emergency. My mother is very sick.”
“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.”
“Well, actually, I think she's doing better. But before I make any decisions like this, I'd like to discuss it with her.”
“I understand. But, Zoe, I hope to hear from you soon. We won't be able to hold this position open for long.” As an added incentive, he gave me more details of the position: the salary, which would be more than I'd ever earned, the benefits and the vacation package. Even though I tried to contain it, my enthusiasm ballooned. I knew God was watching out for me. I wasn't even looking for a job, though it was a no-brainer that I needed one. But I had focused on staying connected with Christ, and He had provided.
I took a deep breath. The only problem was that Seattle was the last place I wanted to be. If I took this job, I would have to see Chase again. I wondered how that would feel. Of greater concern to me, though, was the thought of leaving my mother now, when she really needed me.
I paced in the living room until she rose from her nap. As I prepared sandwiches for us to nibble on, I calmly told her about the phone call from the Seattle Storm.
“So, when do you start?” she asked, her enthusiasm matching mine.
I was touched by her exuberance but needed to be sure that she wasn't acting. I had to know that she was really going to be all right without me.
“I haven't accepted the job yet, Mom,” I said.
“Well, for heaven's sake, why not? It sounds perfect.”
“I wanted to discuss it with you first. If you need me to stay—”
“I'll be fine,” my mother assured me. “You heard the doctor. Those latest reports showed that things aren't as bad as they could be. And I've been feeling so much better this week. I honestly believe I'll keep getting better.”
“Are you sure?”
“Zoe, I've never been more sure of anything in my life.” She paused. “I really want you to take this position. It's the kind of work that you've been looking for.”
I rushed to the table and hugged her, not wanting to ever let go.
“Mom, I promise that I will call you every day, and if you ever need me, you have to promise me that you'll let me know.”
“I will…”
“And I will come home anytime you need me.”
“Zoe, call them back and tell them that you accept the position.”
I hugged her again and then ran to the telephone. I accepted the position, on the condition that I could spend a few more days in Miami with my mother. It seemed that Douglas Ware was happy to have me any way he could. He agreed to give me a week.
My mother and I maximized our time together, taking walks to the park, watching television together and, most of the time, just talking. We talked through old memories that were painful to both of us, yet they became less so after we'd brought them into the open.
“Baby, Mama's sorry I had my attention on all those men, instead of you and your brother. I just got so caught up with them drugs and stuff. I felt like nothin', and them men and them drugs…They made me feel like something. I ain't had no good job. No husband. But now, I realize I was a foolish woman. I had two beautiful children. Y'all's love could have carried me through.”
Hearing those words of repentence warmed my heart like a cup of hot soup. We just hugged. I knew at that moment my mom meant so much to me.
On the morning that I was to leave, I stood in the bathroom and stared in the mirror. I couldn't believe that seven days had passed since I accepted the position, and I prayed that I was doing the right thing—leaving my mother. But inside, I felt a peace that I hadn't felt in a long time. And I knew this came from God.
My mother held my hand as we walked to my car for the final time. When I got into the car, Mom stroked my cheek and gave me some parting words of wisdom.
“God chose two different roads for us, Zoe. I'm so grateful for the time we've been able to spend together. Now we're entering a season where we won't be together all the time. But I'll pray for you every day.”
I nodded, not wanting to cry. “I'll pray for you too, Mom.”
She smiled. “I know you will, and in those prayers, we'll be together.” She gave me a final hug. “I am so proud of you,” she whispered.
Once I pulled away, the tears began to flow. And I cried all the way to the airport.
I called Shay as soon as the plane landed in Seattle. She was thrilled that I had returned and was happy to let me stay with her. Her wedding was still more than a month away, and that was more than enough time for me to find a place of my own.
“Please don't tell Chase I'm back,” I begged her that night, once I was settled into her guest bedroom.
She frowned. “I think it's stupid of you to try to hide from him. But if that's what you really want…”
“It is,” I assured her. “I don't want him to be my focus. I'm going to try to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh.”
“Okay,” Shay said, agreeing to abide by my wishes.
“So, how's the Seattle Storm doing?” I asked.
Her eyes widened. “Don't tell me you haven't been following the team!”
I shrugged. “Been too busy,” I said.
She shook her head. “Well, it looks like we're in the hunt for the playoffs. We've been winning! And you know that Chase has been doing it. He's definitely the man.”
Though I couldn't bring myself to see Chase, or even call him, I was glad to hear things were going well for him.
The next morning, I arrived at the Seattle Storm headquarters thirty minutes before I was expected. Douglas Ware was already there and showed me to my cubicle.
“I hate to throw you in right away,” Mr. Ware said. “But we have so much to do. First, the Christmas party.” He reviewed the details they had so far. “Now, feel free to come up with whatever strategy you think best, Zoe—theme, place, menu—all the stuff that will make the evening a memorable one.”
“You got it,” I said, thrilled to have the opportunity to dig in right away and show him what I could do. “I've got some great ideas. We can make it a charity ball.”
“Sounds good. You're thinking. I like that. I also need you to take responsibility for the players' public appearances,” he added, dropping a folder on my desk. “Here are just a few of the requests we've been getting. Now, depending on your schedule, it would be nice if you could accompany the players to some of the events, to make sure things go off without a hitch.”
“Sure. Okay,” I said, praying that Chase wasn't scheduled for anything soon.
“One of the players is scheduled to visit a children's home this afternoon,” Mr. Ware continued. “Maybe you should go along.” Before I could answer, he looked up. “Chase! Hey, buddy!” Mr. Ware stepped out of my cubicle.
I remained in my chair, out of Chase's view. My heart pounded and all kinds of thoughts raced through my mind.
Do I look okay? Has Chase been thinking about me? What is he going to say when he sees me?
I took a deep breath.
Lord, I really wanted to avoid this guy but You brought him to me. Help me know what to say to him.
“Hey thanks for agreeing to go to the children's home,” Mr. Ware said, standing just outside my cubicle. “I know you've been real busy, but it really means a lot to the organization that you would represent us with this charity.” Mr. Ware stepped back into my cubicle. “Chase, I'd like you to meet the new person who'll be handling appearances for us. This is Zoe Clarke.”
I stood. The sight of Chase took my breath away, and my knees nearly melted. The man looked even finer than I remembered. I reached out my hand to shake his, trying to keep it from trembling. Instead of taking my hand, he reached out and hugged me.
I almost collapsed from relief. I was glad he didn't feel the need to be formal. A hug was definitely more appropriate between us. We'd been through too much for a dull, ordinary handshake. Just two weeks before, he had been my man. I was glad he still cared enough to let me know I still meant something.
“I take it you two know each other?” Mr. Ware asked.
Before Chase could tell it all, as I could see he was about to do, I interjected, “Yes, sir, we went to college together at the University of Miami.”
Taking my lead, Chase allowed the rest of the conversation to remain professional.
“Well, if you have a moment, Chase,” Mr. Ware said, “I'd like to go over the appearance for this afternoon.” He turned to me. “Zoe, would you join us?”
I nodded and followed the two men into the conference room. As Mr. Ware gave us the details for this afternoon's appearance, my mind wandered.
I began to wonder what would happen with Chase and me. I wanted to ask him out. We needed to talk. I ached to ask for his forgiveness, and judging from the hug, I could tell he missed me.
But when Mr. Ware finished and stood to leave, I lost my nerve.
Chase said, “Well, Zoe, it was nice to see you again. Will I see you at the children's home?”
“I'm not sure,” I answered. “I'm going to try, but it depends on what Mr. Ware has going on for me.”
“Okay,” he said casually. “Well, I hope you can make it. See ya later.” Then he left and I slowly returned to my solitary desk.
From the moment I walked into the children's home, I was sad. It seemed to be a lonely place. My childhood hadn't been the greatest—living among roaches, not being able to connect with my mother, my father dying when I was so young; often we barely had enough food on the table. But this place made my circumstances almost look like heaven. The biggest difference between how I grew up and this home was that with all I went through, I always believed that my parents loved me.
This facility was plain, cold and clean, reminding me of a hospital. As I stared into the children's eyes, I saw the same thing: coldness. They didn't look at all happy. Their eyes held no hope. But then, I asked myself, why should they be hopeful? These were older children and there was very little chance of them ever leaving this place with adoptive parents.
I introduced myself to the administrator, who shook my hand quickly and looked past me to Chase.
“Mr. Farr, we are so excited to have you here today,” she fawned. “Thank you so much for coming.”
I wanted to gag the way she threw herself at him, but I just smiled as I took a seat in the front row of the auditorium.
I smiled at Chase as he sat on the stage with workers from the home. When the administrator introduced Chase and he stood, the boys and girls, ranging in age from seven to seventeen, barely applauded. But by the time he was halfway through his speech, they were sitting on the edge of their seats. I watched in awe as Chase encouraged those kids.
“Even though you don't have parents around,” he said, “you have one parent who is always with you. You have a heavenly Father who is providing for you, even now. At least you're not living on the streets. Here you have workers who love you and take care of you. You know, God has a purpose and a plan for each and every one of you, and all of you are very important to Him.”
I looked at the children's faces and watched as the despair in their eyes turned to hope. It made me smile. I felt good inside for being a part of it.
Chase glanced at me as he spoke and I smiled and nodded. What he was doing here was greater than catching passes and scoring touchdowns. He was winning little souls for Christ.
“Well, now it's time for me to go.” Chase began to end his speech. “But before I do, I want to introduce you to someone.”