A Marriage Made in Texas (The Brothers Kincaid) (20 page)

Gail had quit crying, though she still held his hand as if she’d never let go. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He smoothed his hand over her hair and smiled reassuringly at her. “Yeah, me too.”

Dr. Fletcher began rubbing the transducer over Gail’s stomach. “Plenty of movement,” she said, pointing to the baby on the ultrasound screen. “See? The baby is very active. There’s the heart beating.” The nurse made an adjustment and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room. “Strong heartbeat,” she murmured. “I’m afraid it’s a little early to tell the sex.”

“That’s all right.” Gail smiled, tears welling in her eyes. “As long as the baby is healthy, we don’t care what it is.”

“Everything looks good, Gail. Your pregnancy is progressing just as it should.” She handed the transducer to the nurse and smiled at Gail while the nurse wiped her stomach. “In a healthy pregnancy, a fall such as the one you described shouldn’t cause you to miscarry. It’s possible, but unlikely.”

“What fall?” Jay asked the doctor sharply. Look
ing at Gail he said, “Aren’t you here because of the wreck?”

“What wreck?” Gail asked, turning puzzled eyes to his. “I didn’t have a wreck.”

Not have a wreck? Then what the hell would she call it? A fender bender? “Gail, your car was totaled. Cam and I saw it on the side of the road.”

“Cam? What’s he doing here?”

“Never mind that. Your car is totaled and you don’t even remember the accident?”

She still looked confused. “When I got out there wasn’t a scratch on it. There was a pileup, but I managed to avoid that. Someone must have run into it after I left.”

“Your wife had a fall earlier, Jay,” Dr. Fletcher put in. “She experienced some cramping and decided to come in. Obviously, you didn’t know about it.”

“No, I had no idea,” he said slowly. “The hospital called me and said she’d been in an accident.”

“I’m sorry, Jay. I tried to reach you, but you weren’t at the clinic and the phones were out.”

He stared at her, trying to take it in. “You fell? What happened?”

“I was looking for something of Mel’s and I fell off the stepstool. I had a couple of cramps.” She glanced at the doctor, who smiled reassuringly at her. “I guess I panicked, thinking I might be going into premature labor, but Dr. Fletcher doesn’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

He gazed at her incredulously as he took in what she was saying. She’d been afraid she was losing the
baby, so she’d gone to the clinic, but hadn’t found him there. So instead of coming home—where she was bound to know he’d be—she’d driven herself to the hospital. Alone. In the middle of a goddamn hurricane, yet. That was carrying independence a damn sight too far.

Dr. Fletcher’s beeper went off. She glanced at it and frowned. “I have to go in a minute. Patient in labor.” She looked at Gail. “Any more questions?”

“Why did I have those cramps? That’s what scared me.”

“They could have been caused by any number of things. Certainly, anxiety might have played a part.” She scribbled on Gail’s chart, then glanced at both of them. “As I said, I think you and the baby are fine, but I do think you should take it easy for a few days. If anything happens, if you have any symptoms, especially any bleeding or any more cramps, then, of course, call me.”

“Do I have to stay in bed?”

“No, but I wouldn’t do anything strenuous. No aerobics, for instance.” She smiled and added, “And I’d refrain from sex for a few days, to be cautious.”

Gail frowned and the doctor laughed. “Just for a few days,” she repeated. “Don’t worry, it’s not for the duration. Make an appointment in a week, and we’ll see how you’re doing then.”

“Thank you, Dr. Fletcher.”

“I’ll walk out with you,” Jay said. “I’ll be back in a minute, Gail.” He needed some time to pull himself together, as well as speak to the doctor in private.

“She’s fine, Jay. Really,” Dr. Fletcher said.

“When you told her to take it easy, what exactly did you mean?”

“Just what I said. No heavy physical activity. No sex. She should rest more.” She considered him a moment. “I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but I get the idea you’re not pleased about something. I’d think twice before I picked a fight with Gail. She doesn’t need the emotional upset right now, either. She’s already very emotional from the fall and the drive over through the storm.”

Yeah, so was he.
Jay nodded. “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to upset her.”

Gail had done it again, was all he could think. Cut him out one more time, this time with his own child. He’d been deluding himself that she was ready to share her life with him. All the progress he thought they’d made had disappeared the instant she drove off without him. But he wouldn’t say a damn word about it. Even if it killed him to bottle up his feelings, he would do it. The baby’s health, and Gail’s health, were more important than his pain or hurt or anger.

He fought an overwhelming urge to put his fist through a wall. Instead, he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and went back in the exam room to take care of his wife and unborn child. He wouldn’t allow her to lock him totally out of their lives, no matter how much she might want to.

O
N THE WAY HOME
,
Jay hardly said a word. Cam and Gail talked, Cam asking her what had happened. But Jay didn’t make a comment or even ask a question. Gail put it down to the fact that he’d been worried about her and the baby, but his silence still bothered her.

She’d been scared to death to realize how very much she’d needed him. Physically, and more, emotionally. The drive to the hospital, alone in the storm, had only reinforced those feelings. When he’d walked in the door, she’d never been so glad to see anyone in her life.

Once they were home, he didn’t become much more talkative, though. “What do you think I should do about the van?” she asked him. “It looks pretty bad.” Again, she suffered a pang of guilt. Though it hadn’t been her fault, since she hadn’t even known about it, she realized the sight of the crushed van must have made Jay wild with worry.

“I’ll arrange to have it towed to the shop. You can decide what you’re going to do after you talk to them.”

“Okay.” She waited, but he didn’t say anything
else. “Jay, are you upset with me?” she finally asked him.

He didn’t answer directly. “Why don’t you get in bed and I’ll bring you some dinner.”

Go to bed like a good girl, she thought. “Thanks, but the doctor said I didn’t need to go to bed.”

The look he gave her made her feel like a recalcitrant child. “It won’t hurt you to rest, Gail. You’ve had a rough day.”

“Fine,” she said, exasperated. “But I asked you a question.”

“You need to rest. We’ll talk later,” he said, and left her in the bedroom.

But they didn’t. Not that evening, and not during any of the following days or evenings. Oh, they talked. But not about Gail’s fall or her trip to the hospital. And while Jay was the same with the girls as he’d always been, with her he couldn’t be called anything but chilly. He wasn’t mean to her, he didn’t act angry, but living with him was like living with a stranger.

The only reason Gail could think of for his behavior was that he was upset about her accident. She tried several times to get him to talk about it, but he simply refused. Once, he even left the house rather than talk to her. Gail thought that was carrying things a bit too far, but she couldn’t figure out what to do about it.

The following Friday Gail met Cat for lunch at the Scarlet Parrot. Brooding about her troubles, she listened to Cat with half an ear until her sister rapped her hand on the table and said, “Gail, what is with
you? I asked you the same question three times and you haven’t answered me yet.”

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else.” She picked up a French fry and munched on it without much enthusiasm. “What did you say?”

“Never mind that. Is something wrong?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Gee, I don’t know. You’ve hardly spoken a word.” She tapped Gail’s plate. “And you’ve hardly touched your lunch. That’s not like you.”

Gail sighed. “I’m just not hungry.”

A frown creased Cat’s brow. “Now you’ve really got me worried. You’re always hungry. Spill it,” her sister commanded.

“There’s nothing to spill,” she said, frustrated. “If I knew, I’d tell you.”

“Is it you and Jay? Are you two having problems?”

Gail nodded miserably. “Something’s going on, but I can’t figure out what it is. I think Jay’s mad at me, except he won’t talk to me enough for me to figure it out.”

Cat took a sip of tea and settled down to listen. “Why would he be mad at you?”

“The obvious answer is last weekend. But he won’t discuss it. At all.”

Cat frowned. “That doesn’t sound like Jay. Do you really think he’s that unreasonable? I mean, it isn’t like you fell on purpose.” She regarded Gail for a long moment, then said, “You’re feeling guilty, aren’t you?”

Gail started to deny it, but found she couldn’t. “Yes, but not about the fall.” Her gaze met Cat’s and she continued. “It was the accident. I’m telling you, Cat, when I saw that wreck and realized how close I’d come to being in the middle of it—” She shivered. “Both the baby and I could have been killed.”

Cat covered her hand and squeezed comfortingly. “But you weren’t.”

“No, but I’m afraid that’s what Jay is thinking, too. Remember, he saw my totaled van on the way over, and I’m sure that scared him to death. He didn’t know I hadn’t been in the car when that happened.”

“Yeah, that was bound to have revved him up, and fear generally makes people mad. Especially men,” she said reflectively. “Have you ever noticed the more scared they are the madder they get? And if they’re scared about someone they love, it’s even worse.”

Gail nodded. “I know. And I think he was really scared by the time he got to the hospital. He knew I’d given the nurse his number, but he didn’t know anything about the baby.”

“But why hasn’t he said anything? Is that how he usually reacts when he’s mad?”

Gail laughed and shoved her plate away. “No way. Usually, he blows up and yells, and if he’s really ticked off, he leaves. Then he comes back and acts as if nothing happened.”

Cat tapped her fingers on the table, frowning. “Maybe he’s afraid to upset you. He’s worried about
you and the baby.” She picked up her sandwich and took a bite.

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “I just don’t know. He’s not acting like himself at all. He won’t talk. He won’t kiss me, unless I kiss him first. Since last weekend, he’s hardly touched me.”

“Your doctor said no hanky-panky,” Cat reminded her. “Could be he just doesn’t want to tempt himself.”

“It’s possible, but I don’t think so.” Thinking hard, she frowned. “He’s nice. He’s polite.” She slapped her fist on the table. “And he’s so damn distant it’s like living with a stranger.”

“Sounds like you’re just going to have to force him to talk to you.”

“Don’t worry, I intend to,” she said. “And tonight’s the night.”

G
AIL PLANNED THE EVENING
carefully. First, she would seduce him. Then, while he was recovering from that, she’d sneak in under his defenses and get him to talk. If he would just tell her what was bothering him, she knew they could fix it. His stubborn refusal to talk wasn’t helping either of them.

He wouldn’t get the chance to leave, not if she had to flush his keys down the toilet and throw herself bodily in front of the door.

Like a general placing his troops, she set the scene. Mel and Roxy had gone to Barry’s. A tomato basil pesto sauce, one of Jay’s favorites, simmered on the stove. She lit candles, put on soft music, chilled a
bottle of wine for him and one of sparkling grape juice for herself. She wore a soft pink cashmere sweater that made the most of her new curves and a short skirt that she probably wouldn’t be able to fit into in a week.

After stirring the sauce, she tasted it, and hummed her approval. Pretty good, if she did say so herself. She heard his car drive up. When the door opened she turned around and gave him a welcoming smile. “Dinner should be ready soon. Why don’t I pour you a glass of wine?”

His expression wary, he tossed his keys and briefcase down on the kitchen table. “All right. I’m going to change.”

He didn’t stop by the stove to kiss her, which didn’t surprise her, since he hadn’t kissed her hello in a week. In fact, he hadn’t kissed her voluntarily, period, in a week. She pushed that thought—and the hurt it brought with it—out of her mind. Now wasn’t the time for grievances, but for action.

A short time later, he returned, wearing soft, faded jeans and a long-sleeve knit shirt. Looking, she thought, good enough to eat. “Your wine is on the table,” she told him, and bent to pull another pan out to cook the pasta in.

“Thanks.” He picked up his wineglass and took a sip.

“What happened to the music?” she asked him.

“I turned it off.”

She stared at him a minute. “Why?”

He didn’t answer, just shrugged and took another
sip of wine. He glanced at the bare kitchen table. “Do you want me to set the table?”

“It’s set.” She glanced at him and forced a smile. “In the other room.”

Again, that wary look came into his eyes. “So what’s the occasion?”

“No occasion. I just wanted to make a nice meal for the two of us.” She tamped down on her irritation. Was he being deliberately obtuse? It sure seemed like it. She wanted to seduce him, not bop him over the head, but he was making it difficult to remember that.

He took a seat at the kitchen table and began reading the newspaper. Gail gritted her teeth, counted to ten, then put the water for the pasta on to boil and popped the French bread in the oven.

A little while later, she told him dinner was ready. He filled his plate and went into the dining room ahead of her. When she came in after him she noticed he’d turned on the overhead lights and was in the act of blowing out the candles.

She stopped in midstride and bit her cheek to keep from screaming. She sat down and started to eat, even though by now everything tasted like ashes.

They ate in silence until she finally broke it. “I had an appointment with Dr. Fletcher today.”

Jay looked up from his plate. “What did she say?”

She set her fork down and looked at him. “The baby and I are both fine. Dr. Fletcher said we’re healthy as could be, and that I can resume normal activity.” She paused and added, “
All
normal activ
ity.” Surely she didn’t need to spell it out more than that.

His expression became hooded. “That’s good news,” he said, but his voice was flat. He returned his attention to his food, not saying anything more.

“Yes, isn’t it?” she said sarcastically, her temper snapping. “Not that you give a good damn.”

He glanced at her irritably. “Don’t be ridiculous, Gail. Of course I’m glad you and the baby are doing well.”

“Just like you’re glad we can make love again? Because if you are, you have a damn funny way of showing it.” Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall. He’d already ruined the evening she had planned. She didn’t intend to let him make her cry as well.

He didn’t answer, but finished his pasta and took his plate into the kitchen. Infuriated, Gail followed him. He’d blown her idea of seduction, but she’d be damned if he got away with ignoring her any longer.

“If you think you’re going to get out of talking about this, think again. I’ve had it up to here—” she put her hand under her chin to illustrate “—with your attitude.”

He said nothing, just continued to rinse off his dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

“What’s the matter with you? You won’t talk to me, you won’t touch me…” Her voice trailed away as a sudden realization hit her. She put her hand on his arm, and to her mortification, her voice broke.
“Jay, what is it? Tell me, please. Do you just not want me anymore?”

“Not want you?” His eyes were bleak, his tone, almost desperate. “I’ll always want you. I want you so much I’m almost willing to—” He broke off, shook his head, turned away from her. “I can’t do this.”

“Oh, yes you can.” She put her hand on his arm and jerked on it until he turned to face her. “Don’t you dare leave. We’re talking this out, whether you want to or not.”

His gaze met hers, his eyes sharp, and hard as diamonds. “All right.”

He jerked her into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her with a greedy desperation she’d never felt from him before. Her head swam, her blood heated. She flung an arm around his neck and kissed him back, though a part of her hated that he could wreck her defenses with a kiss, make her forget how he’d treated her the past week and even that very evening in a burst of passion and fierce longing.

He raised his head, still holding her crushed against his chest. “I want you, Gail. So much that I conned myself into believing that what we have is a marriage, instead of mutual lust and fantastic sex.”

Shock shook her to the core. “That’s not all we have. You know it isn’t.”

He released her. Walked away from her, then turned to face her again. “Isn’t it? I don’t deny you’re willing—happy—to share your body with me, but I’ve had to twist your arm to get you to share any
thing else. The girls, our living expenses, every single thing you’ve shared, you’ve only done it because I forced the issue.”

“If this is about last weekend—” she began.

He laughed, though he didn’t sound amused. “Yes, Gail, this is about last weekend.”

“You’re angry because I fell—”

Again, he cut her off. “Give me some credit. I’m not angry because you had an accident.”

“Then why are you so upset? I told you I tried to reach you. I went to the clinic. You weren’t there.”

“No, I was heading home. Which you knew.”

She had known, but she brushed his words aside impatiently. “I was afraid if I went home I’d lose time. It’s on the opposite side of town, Jay. I couldn’t be positive you would be there,” she said, knowing she sounded defensive and hating it. “I thought it was more important to get to the hospital.” She’d done what she thought best. If he couldn’t see that, to hell with him.

“So instead of coming to me, you drove to the hospital in the middle of a goddamn hurricane. By yourself.”

“I didn’t have a choice! I was afraid I was losing the baby!”

His gaze hardened, as did his jawline. “You did have a choice. And you made it. Alone. Just like you make all your choices. All your decisions. You value your independence so much you put your life and our baby’s life at risk rather than ask someone for help. Rather than ask me, your husband, for help.”

“If you’d been at the clinic, I would have asked you. But you weren’t there for me. Just like—” Horrified, she bit her lip at what she’d been about to say.

“Go ahead and finish it. Just like Barry. Isn’t that what you were about to say?” He took a step, standing right in front of her, though he didn’t touch her. His eyes flashed, his mouth tightened into a grim line. “It doesn’t matter that I’ve been there for you every other time, whenever you needed me. And I would have been there for you this time, if you’d only trusted me. But you can’t do that, can you, Gail? You’re never going to let yourself trust me. No matter what I do, how many hoops I jump through, you won’t trust me. Because you don’t
want
to trust me.”