A Marriage of the Heart (13 page)

Luke blew out a sigh of relief, but he wanted to holler at her too, for looking so casual and pretty when he’d been worried sick.

“There you are, child!”
Aenti
Tabby exclaimed. “And a
gut
thing too. It’s never wise to run off when you’re having a bit of a spat. It’s better to stay and work things out.”

Luke threw Rose a pleading glance as she slowed her steps and brought her swinging basket to an abrupt halt.

“Uh,
Aenti
Tabby, it was my fault, in truth,” Luke supplied.

“As usual,” Rose murmured, and he had to suppress a smile.

“Well, it’s too cold out here. Come inside and warm up, the both of you.”
Aenti
Tabby turned to go.

“We’ll be along shortly,” Rose called.

Luke watched her approach warily, wondering how the time at the tent had gone. Then he caught the heat in her green eyes and thought they wouldn’t be going into the house anytime soon.

R
OSE WATCHED HIM STANDING IN THE TWILIGHT AND
thought how handsome he was, then frowned at the thought.
Why her mind would drift to how he looked when she had a thousand questions to ask was beyond her understanding.

“How were they?” he asked.

“Beautiful,” she said shortly, speaking the first word that came to mind.

He smiled. “Ally’s like you, I think.”

She shrugged, flicking her flashlight on and off for a moment. “Sylvia didn’t know you were Amish . . . You are Amish, right?”

He laughed. “
Ya
, Rose.”

“It’s not funny. Besides the excuse of moving about, why else did you pretend to be something else . . .
Englisch
?”

He sobered suddenly. “You seemed to like it well enough at times.”

She didn’t appreciate the reminder and bit back an angry retort, remembering what the Bible said about a soft answer turning away wrath. “That is true. But I hope that it was the real you, no matter your dress, who touched and kissed me those times.”

“It was. I’m sorry.”

“So, will you finally tell me about Sylvia?”

He sighed. “Her husband’s name is Jim—she probably mentioned that.”

Rose nodded.

“Well, Jim knew me as
Englisch
, or at least I thought he did . . .”

He stopped, and Rose sighed and slapped her hands against her sides. “Luke, I know you say this isn’t your secret to tell, but I’m involved now. I’ve seen that woman and her children. They shouldn’t be living alone—it’s dangerous.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? Don’t think about it a hundred times a day?”

“Then tell me why they are there.” She waited.

“All right. All right.” He took a deep breath and turned away from her to face the dark fields. “Before I joined the church, and after
Mamm
died, I sort of lost things in my head. One part of me did all the right things—saw you, went to church, worked; but one part of me was wild with pain and anger. But I had to keep that part of myself secret. I couldn’t hurt
Daed
. . . or you.”

“Maybe I would have understood,” she said softly.

“No, not when I didn’t understand myself. So I just kept up two parts of me, two lives . . . I started going into town and running around with this gang of
Englischers
. They had no idea I was Amish, but this wasn’t like
rumschpringe
. They were a dangerous lot . . . drugs, drinking, crime. When I began to see how they really lived, I backed away. Most of them were homeless, so when I would head back to my warm bed at the house, they were sleeping under bridges, trying to avoid the shelters because they thought they didn’t need the help.” He pivoted on his crutches to face her. “My
mamm
volunteered at one of the homeless shelters in town. Did you know that?”

“Nee
. . . an
Englisch
shelter?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “
Ya
. How many homeless Amish do you know?” He exhaled. “I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t mean to snap.”

“And I didn’t mean to question . . . I just . . . your
mamm
was so busy about her own house.”

“She was, but she found time to give to others too . . . even if it was unusual to find an Amish woman volunteering alone at a place like that.”

“Did your
daed
know?”

“We all did . . . we kind of teased her about it too—’going looking for trouble,’ I said once.” He looked grim. “When she got sick, she had me take some jellies and things down there. At first I didn’t want to go. I thought it was a dirty place, foul smelling . . . full of
Englischers
who supposedly wouldn’t work. But later I discovered the truth . . . the secret that nobody
chooses
to be homeless, at least not at first.
Ach
, there were the boys I ran with, to be sure, but there were families too . . . children.”

“Ally?” Rose asked softly, trying to piece the story together.

“
Ya
. . . the shelter is okay, but it’s no place for kids, and every family only has so much time that they can stay. When Sylvia’s time ran out, I just thought . . . I don’t know what I thought—that I could honor my mother by helping Sylvia have some type of home . . . Jim got into trouble with the law a couple months back. He’s in the local jail waiting for trial—I go see him when I can. Take him Ally’s pictures.”

Rose frowned. “But surely there are other
Englisch
means of help—housing, medical insurance . . .”

“Jim was afraid they’d lose the kids—if the police knew Sylvia was in the area and could question her, he was afraid they might charge her too.”

“Charge her with what?”

“Robbery. A series of home robberies. He said he was innocent, and I believe him.”

“But then you robbed from your own people to help them. Why didn’t you just go to the bishop and tell the truth?” Rose asked.

“The bishop . . . who’d want no part of
Englisch
law. Who’d not hide a woman and children—”

“You don’t know that,” Rose cried. “You’ve not only taken on the role of thief but also judge—of your own people, your own community. You’ve tried to do this all alone, and it’s not going to work anymore, Luke. Cold weather’s going to set in, and then what?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I ask you to keep the secret, Rose. Just a little longer. The trial’s bound to be soon.”

“And if Jim is found guilty? What will you do then?” she asked, closing her eyes against the thought.

“Please, Rose. Just keep the secret. Let me worry about the rest.”

“I don’t know what to do,” she said miserably.

He moved closer to her, and she could feel the heat from his body through his heavy black coat. “I shouldn’t have involved you, but this will work out. I promise.”

She looked him in the eyes and said the only thing she could think of. “I’ll pray.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

L
UKE CONCENTRATED ON A PARTICULARLY COMPLICATED
gouge in the wood he was working for Rose’s mantelpiece wedding gift. It didn’t help that he had to do it by candlelight and so late at night, but he couldn’t risk starting the generator up and waking his father.

He hadn’t seen Rose for a few days . . . not since the conversation behind the barn. And he wasn’t sure what she might be feeling about him at this point. She’d raised a lot of issues that made him think, but the thing that struck home the most was her idea that he was judging his own people.

He wasn’t sure when or how it had happened, but some way or another he’d come to a place in his head where he believed that the community would fail him. He sighed as he moved the lantern closer and bent over the wood.

“It was you, my
sohn
,” said a voice behind him.

Luke turned to blink at his father. “
Daed
? Why are you up?” “I might ask you the same thing. But I can see by that workmanship that it was you and not Mark who did that burled elm piano front. It’s the truth,
nee
?”

Luke laid the tools carefully on the workbench and braced his hands on his crutches, shifting his weight from where he’d been leaning against the table. “It’s just a hobby,
Daed
.”

His father stepped closer and lifted the lantern high over the table with a work-worn hand. “A hobby? Such gifts from
Derr
Herr
should never be wasted on a hobby. Wasn’t it you who told me something about speaking the truth and releasing pain? I’m afraid you’ve hidden much pain from me, Luke. And I’ve been too blind and selfish to notice.”

Luke met his father’s eyes in the light of the lamp. “I never wanted you to know,
Daed
. I am content to do the books. I know it’s a help to you.”

“Content? Perhaps, but not joyful, my
sohn
. Not working with joy and purpose as the Lord would desire.”

Luke hung his head. “
Nee
, sir.”

He heard his father put the lamp back on the table, then looked up as he was caught in the older man’s loving embrace. “Forgive me,” his father whispered.

“There’s nothing to forgive. Please don’t worry,
Daed
. We can go on as before.”

His father stepped away and clapped him on the shoulders. “Not one minute longer. We’ll find someone else to do the books. And you will take your place as a carpenter . . . as The Carpenter would have you do.”

Luke’s eyes welled with tears. He felt undone inside, like
his secrets were slowly being revealed by
Derr Herr
’s hand, one by one.

“Danki, Daed. Danki.”

A
FTER EVERYONE HAD GONE TO BED,
R
OSE BEGAN TO
work on her wedding dress in earnest. She’d been to see Sylvia and the children only once since she and Luke had last talked. And she wasn’t sure how he was feeling, since she’d had no word from him. She sighed as she fingered the cloth of her wedding dress, wondering what the future held for them. Shadowy images of dark-haired children danced through her mind. Then she looked up from the kitchen table in surprise as Luke maneuvered himself inside the kitchen door with his crutches. She blinked, feeling her heart begin to pound, and wondered if she simply imagined his presence.

“Hiya!”
He smiled brightly.

She glanced with dismay from her wedding dress pieces back to his handsome face and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Nobody’s up. And I’m working on my wedding dress.”

“Well, that’s nice, isn’t it?” He slipped his hat off.

“
Ya
. . . I mean, no . . . I can’t ask you in. I told you—I’m working on my wedding dress. I thought it would be a surprise.”

He glanced at the fabric and pattern pieces spread about the table and turned his head a bit. “Suppose I don’t look? It’s blue, right?”

“You know every wedding dress is blue.”

He balanced on his crutches and swung his injured ankle
absently. “True. But there’re all kinds of blue—the sky on a summer’s afternoon, the smoky blue of a kitten’s fur, the creek when the light dances off it until it stings your eyes with its beauty . . .” His voice dropped an octave. “Your eyes, when they’re a sleepy blue-green after you’ve been kissed.”