A Matter of Forever (39 page)

Thankfully, Ewan Whitecomb isn’t involved in KC’s life at all. To him, his grandparents are Cameron and Astrid Dane. His aunt and uncle? Callie and Will, who took a frustrating two years before finally admitting they were, in fact, crazy in love with one another. But now they are just as disgusting to KC as his father and I are, because they’re always “holding hands and kissing and doing other gross things.” Worse yet is when we go out for an adult’s night out together (which is often), and their adorable daughter and my son loudly complain in unison about how when they get older, they’ll never torture their kids this way.

We all laugh and laugh and leave them to their equally affectionate grandparents.

Every so often, KC hangs with Grandma Abigail, too. My mother and I ... well, we’re still building that foundation we once envisioned. There are a lot of one step forward, one step backs in this journey she and I are on. She’s nowhere near as warm and loving and demonstrative as Astrid, but ... she’s trying.

I am, too.

As for the others in our extended family ...

Lizzie and Graham are still childless, something that Graham frequently laments is his fault. Lizzie doesn’t care, though. Even though they’re living in Spain, and she’s working with her handsome painter, she still only has eyes for our childhood friend. Just recently she called and confided in me that if she dies childless, she won’t care. Graham means that much to her.

Alex and Meg had a little boy not even a year after they got married. His name is Zander, and much to Meg’s delight and Alex’s shock, he is a Joy.

After Raul died, we all worried Cora would fall into a deep depression, but she surprised all of us by refusing to do so. “He wouldn’t want me to be like this,” she told me one afternoon a year after his death. “So why should I? I’m still young. He would want me to go on living. I can do that for him. I have to.”

It took her six years, but she got married again. Surprisingly, it was to another Guard member, one both Raul and Kellan had been friends with and I’d worked with on some Elders missions. I guess she had known Brock Orangethrope from their University days, and they had managed to stay friends over the years. She said that she realized she was in love with him when they were out with a group at a bar, drinking and laughing. She’d looked over at him and realized she felt safer and happier with him then she had with anyone other than Raul. And I guess Brock felt the same way, because he had claimed he’d harbored a crush on her from the first day they had met. She’s pregnant now, and is one of those moms who doesn’t want to know what her baby is until it’s born.

We spend a great deal of time with the Graystones; I suppose you’d call Jonah and Karl best friends nowadays, which makes me so happy. And I’ve loved getting to really know Moira over the years; she’s one of my closest friends, too. As for Emily and KC—she, being three and a half years older, tends to boss him around a lot, and he, being of a healthy ego, tends to think that he knows better than she. Despite these differences, I adore how they’ve grown up as such good friends.

Giuliana is still single, as is Zthane. Both devote their lives to the Guard, which has been running more efficiently than it has in almost a hundred years. Iolani finally found her Prince Charming in a really shy Elf that has nothing to do with the Guard or the Council. He took his sweet time getting around to asking her to marry him, but their wedding, appropriately set in Hawaii, was beautiful.

As for me and Jonah ... marriage is good. Like, really good. There’s not a day that goes by in which I am not infinitely grateful for having this wonderful man in my life. I didn’t think it was possible, but marriage has intensified the feelings we have for one another. Everything between us has grown and flourished over the years until it’s now made of indestructible titanium; everything is much more beautiful and meaningful for the time spent together.

That’s not to say that I don’t think of his brother; in fact, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about him every single day. For years, I’ve wondered what he’s doing, if he’s happy or married or if he’s got a child that looks like mine. Is he a psychiatrist like he thought he’d be? Does he still prefer yellow cars? Does he ever take out his battered copy of On The Road and read it, wondering why he’d highlighted passage after passage?

Are there ever strong pangs of longing and missing for a brother he doesn’t remember? Does he ever look at girls with brown hair and green eyes and wonder why his heart might skip a beat?

But I’m okay with my questions because I believe they’ll be answered someday. The night after Kellan left us, Jonah came home and told me calmly, steadily, “We’ll see him again, Chloe.”

Momentary confusion and joy warred in my chest. Kellan had changed his mind? But no, Jonah told me. Kellan was somebody new, heading somewhere we’ve never been. But what he was confessing to me was that, when he entered his brother’s head that last time, Jonah found it impossible to follow Kellan’s wishes to the letter.

“Memories,” he told me, “can never be completely erased. They can only be masked and hidden, some better than others.”

What this means is, Kellan’s memories will most likely surface someday, because Jonah refused to ensure his efforts were permanent.

That’s not to say Jonah didn’t influence him in all the other ways Kellan wanted. He gave him the choices and zest for life that his brother truly deserves. But my husband has faith that someday, his brother will slowly remember what he’s left behind and come to realize that there’s no need to sacrifice so much forever. Maybe, we hope, if enough years have gone by, and enough life and happiness has filled his heart, we’ll have him back. He might come home or, at the very least, contact us. It’s a dream I hold onto, but more importantly, it’s one Jonah won’t let go of.

He has faith he and his brother will be together again someday. That’s they’ll be strong and close and a family again.

I haven’t allowed myself the luxury yet, but every so often, when Jonah is off on a mission, he finds his brother. Doesn’t say anything, doesn’t intrude, doesn’t stalk or do anything creepy ... he just makes sure Kellan’s okay from a distance. And from what I hear, he is. His life is rich and filled with everything he deserves. And oh gods, that makes me so happy to hear and takes a weight off my husband’s shoulders.

So until the day Jonah and his brother are reunited, we continue to take steps forward together. We have our son. Family. Friends. Work. We both were instrumental in helping to incorporate the Métis delegation into the Council after the Elders threat passed. Many Métis realized they have a home here and options. Annar has expanded and is changing for the better. After all the high costs we had to pay, all the sacrifices both of us alongside our loved ones have had to pay, we’ve found our happy ending.

Someday, it’ll be even happier, I hope.

“Are the Graystones coming tonight for dinner?” KC asks me as he grabs his surfboard.

“Yep. They’ll be here in two hours,” I tell him. “So you and your dad better get moving if you want to get some sets in.”

My son is off, running down towards the water. Jonah lingers behind. “You know,” he muses, “I think he’s going to be better than me someday.”

I wrap my arms around him. “Tough on your ego?”

He presses a kiss against my temple; I lean into it, sighing happily. Even now, even after years and years of knowing this man, his touch still melts me. “I’m okay with KC being better,” he murmurs against my hair. “I think I actually prefer it that way.”

My husband is the most amazing father. And kisser, because his mouth is on mine, and all my thoughts go scattering into the gentle sea breeze around us.

We watch KC until he catches his first wave of the day. He is already graceful and skilled; it’s clear he’s long mastered the ability to merge with the ocean just like his great uncle taught his father. By the time he finishes, he scans the beach for us. “You coming?” he shouts at his father. “They’re good today!”

I kiss Jonah once more before he disappears into the foamy blue waters. And then I sit in the sand and watch them, arms wrapped around my propped up knees, chin resting against them comfortably. I ought to go back into the house and start getting dinner ready rather than linger down here watching them surf. It’s always a tough gig cooking for foodies like Karl and Moira, but somehow they never complain about my attempts. And they shouldn’t, after the years I’ve spent learning the best recipes from Will.

I take a deep breath of salty, warm air and count to ten—but not because I’m anxious or worried. I do this because sometimes I need to remind myself it’s truly okay to embrace happiness, like the kind I currently find myself enveloped in. That life, as messy and complicated and utterly beautiful and tragic and simple as it can be, must be taken hold of with both hands and never taken lightly or for granted.

It’s meant to be
lived
... one day, one breath, one heartbeat at a time.

There are so many people to thank when it comes to this book that I hope you’ll indulge me a moment. To my editor Natasha Tomic, thanks for all you’ve done for this book and these characters. To my publicist KP Simmon, your belief in this series has meant the world(s) to me. Carly Stevens, once again, you hit it out of the part with a cover I love. I don’t mind if people judge my books by their covers! Tricia Santos, the best assistant a gal like me can have, thanks for keeping me and this book on task. Stacey Blake, thank you for making my book look as pretty on the inside as the outside. Chad Teresi, I appreciate and value your eagle eyes during the final stages. And to my agent Pamela van Hylckama Vlieg, thanks for believing in me as a writer.

Rachel Van Dyken, Tracy Cooper, Andrea Johnston, Vilma Gonzalez, Megan O’Connell, Jessica Mangicaro, Rebecca Shniderman, and Tricia Santos, all the love and gratitude to you guys for helping me make this the best book I could.

To the Lyons Pride, my fab street team: oh my goodness, guys—thank you so much for all your support. I adore each and every single one of you. And to every reader, blogger, and fellow author who has taken a chance on these books and spread the word, please know there aren’t enough words to express how grateful I am for all of you. Hugs and cupcakes all around.

To my husband and three boys, I couldn’t do any of this without your love and belief in me. I have the four best cheerleaders in the universe. Much appreciation also goes out to all my family and friends who encourage me to chase my dreams.

Fate is what
we
make it. Keep chasing your dreams, too.

Heather Lyons writes epic, heartfelt love stories and has always had a thing for words. In addition to writing, she’s also been an archaeologist and a teacher. She and her husband and children live in sunny Southern California and are currently working their way through every cupcakery she can find.

Website:
www.heatherlyons.net

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http://www.facebook.com/heatherlyonsbooks

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Goodreads:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6552446.Heather_Lyons