A Matter of Sin (18 page)

His fingers held her backside tightly, and it was when he slipped one past the globes of her bottom and lightly brushed her most forbidden area through the silk that separated them that the pleasure exploded. She rocked against him, overwhelmed by the wonder of what he had just done. She had never orgasmed without some kind of touch to her sex, and he had just made her come with the brush of his mouth and the tingling touch of his fingers.

When her hips slowed and her breathing moved from pants back to real inhalations, Seth got to his feet. His mouth covered hers with a gentleness that touched her. He had given this moment to her as a gift. But she was greedy. She wanted more.

She grabbed for his shirt and wrestled with the buttons. He drew back with a surprised smile.

“Not through with me?” he asked as he caught her wrenching fingers.

She shook her head, overwhelmed by an animal desire to feel him inside of her. “Not yet. I want you.”

He stared at her for a long moment and then he went to work on his own clothing, tearing at the fabric with as much urgency as she had earlier. She shoved at her remaining clothing, kicking it away.

Within seconds they were naked together, and Isabel groaned as she put her arms around him and felt his warm skin, his firm muscles, his hard erection pressed against her pelvis. His mouth was hot on hers, demanding and filled with desire.

She waited for him to pull her to the bed, but instead he spun her around and she found herself facing the mirror once again. Only this time she was fully exposed. She gasped as his hands slid to her sex and he opened her, displaying her lewdly. She couldn’t look away as he fingered her damp folds and made little explosions of desire rock through her yet again.

Then he bent her over and she felt him glide home within her in one long, heavy stroke. Isabel stared. She had seen this type of claiming before, in the book that sat untouched on the side table. And she had longed to feel it, though she hadn’t yet expressed that desire to Seth. Now he curled his beautiful naked body around hers and rotated his hips until her throbbing sex twitched to life with need and pleasure.

He took her in long, steady strokes, fondling her clitoris with his fingers as she watched him in the mirror. She could hardly breathe as she stared at him taking her, felt him taking her and she exploded with pleasure once more. She watched herself come, rocking back, her face filled with strain and relief at once. She watched him as well, staring at her in the mirror, his expression taut with all he was holding back in order to give her pleasure.

But the moment she came, he grunted, his thrusts increasing and his face darkening before he let out a cry and she felt the hot burst of his release fill her.

The stood together like that for a long time, their bodies still united, staring at their reflection in the mirror.

“You see,” he panted as he brushed sweaty hair away from her face. “You are beautiful.”

Isabel squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She
felt
beautiful when she was with him. And whole, at least until the moment that he loosed his seed within her without fear of creating a child. That was the reminder that she was indeed broken, no matter what he said to the contrary.

But she couldn’t bear to have that thought ruin the gift he had given to her tonight. So she put it away. For now.

“No,” she whispered as she turned her face to press a kiss to his jaw. “
This
is beautiful.
We
are beautiful.”

Seth smiled as he rained down kisses against her exposed throat, but she saw the flash of dark trouble in his gaze before he turned his face. In the end, only one thing about this affair was clear. There could be no “we”.

Chapter Twenty

“When a lady is put into a bad situation, she must hold her head high and never let the world see her pain.”
—The Ladies Book of Pleasures

When Isabel looked at herself in her mirror the next morning, she couldn’t help but blush with muted pleasure. Her reflection in the silver full-length mirror in her chamber brought back heated and intensely passionate memories of Seth’s gift to her. She’d seen herself through his eyes, his passion. Perhaps that would last her whole life.

“You are flushed, my lady—may I get you something?” her maid asked, interrupting Isabel’s pleasant musings and bringing her back to the reality of her situation. “Perhaps a glass of water?”

“No, Polly, thank you. That will be all for this morning,” Isabel said with a deeper blush.

The girl gave her a strange and concerned look, but she bobbed out a curtsey and slipped from the room. Isabel stared at her reflection once more and calm overtook her senses.

She would allow herself to enjoy the thoughts of Seth’s touch for a moment more before she put them away until their next meeting tonight. She wasn’t given the opportunity, though. Before her door had even closed fully, a hand reached into the space created and her sister stepped inside.

“There you are!” Serena said with a put-upon sigh. “I have been looking for you everywhere.”

Isabel got to her feet and moved toward Serena with a laugh at her sister’s dramatics, then reached out to smooth one of her errant curls.

“Silly goose, I have been here all along.”

Serena shook her head. “Not last night, you weren’t.”

Isabel froze. Last night? Her sister couldn’t be saying…

“I-I don’t know what you mean.”

Serena didn’t answer for a moment, but sat down at Isabel’s dressing table. She began examining her fragrant waters and brushes just as she had once done as a young child. Finally, her sister looked over her shoulder with a little pretended pout.

“I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d come to your room and talk to you about it…
ask
you about it.” Serena sighed. “But you weren’t here.”

All the happiness and pleasure Isabel had been experiencing faded in an instant. “You looked for me in the middle of the night?”

“Yes.” Her sister sniffed a bottle as she looked up at her with all innocence and question. She had no idea what anxiety and pain she was causing with her words. “Where in the world were you?”

“I-I must have been in the library,” Isabel burst out without thinking. “Trying to find a book to put me to sleep.”

That wasn’t quite a lie. She
had
done that at some point during their visit.

Serena’s brow wrinkled. “Were you? I looked there too, for I know your love of books, but didn’t see you. We must have somehow passed each other in the maze of hallways.”

Panic clawed at Isabel as she stared at her sister. If Serena were to find out what she was doing in secret with their host, it would be more than disastrous.

“So, what did you wish to speak to me about that you searched the estate so thoroughly?” she asked, hoping the question would deter Serena on her quest to know what Isabel had been doing away from her chamber in the middle of the night.

Her sister smiled. “Actually, I had hoped to talk to you about Lord Lyndham.”

Isabel’s heart slammed against her rib cage with an out-of-control rhythm. Dear God, her sister already knew something. How could she know? Unless she had observed them at dinner the night before and seen the spark between them.

“Did he ask after me last night?” her sister asked.

Isabel’s thoughts faded and she stared at Serena in surprise. “Ask after you?”

Serena nodded, and Isabel’s heart began to sink. Her sister’s eyes were filled with girlish hopes and excitement.

“Why—why would you think he might inquire about you?” she said, hoping her tone seemed normal, though she didn’t truly wish to know the answer.

Her sister shrugged. “He asked specifically to be seated next to you.”

“He did?” Isabel asked in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“The servants talk, you know. My maid heard about what he had done below stairs, and of course she told me immediately.” Serena giggled. “There is only one reason he might ask to sit next to you and the other chaperones and that is to inquire especially after their charges.”

Isabel felt like she had just been shoved underwater. She could still see, but it was through a swirling haze. She could still hear, but all sound was far away. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t breathe.

Her sister didn’t seem to notice her reaction. She popped up from her seat and spun around the room with a light laugh.

“Do you not think the marquis is the one of the most interesting men you’ve ever met?”

Isabel opened her mouth, but couldn’t manage anything more than a wordless squeak as she watched her sister move into the steps of a partnerless waltz.

“We danced together the other night, you know,” Serena said with a sigh. “He moved so gracefully.”

Isabel pursed her lips. She wouldn’t know that, at least not in the context of a dance. In other aspects…

“Did he?” she asked to clear her mind of the inappropriate thoughts.

Serena nodded. “Oh yes. And Sarah told me that if a man is a good dancer he will also be most proficient in his husbandly duties.”

“Serena!” Isabel barked, much more angrily than she had intended.

Her sister stopped spinning and turned toward her with a start.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered, her pale cheeks brightening with a blush that was anything but happy. “I was only teasing, repeating what Sarah’s married sister told her.”

“You should not say such things—it is unseemly,” Isabel said, forcing herself to temper her tone when what she wanted to do was grab her sister and shake her. To vent her jealousy and heartbreak on the poor girl who could have no idea what her happy, hopeful words did to Isabel’s heart.

Serena shook her head. “You are correct, of course. I apologize again.”

An awkward silence hung between them as Isabel tried to remember how to breathe. But it was broken when Serena whispered, “Does your upset also mean that you do not approve of him offering for me if he
is
interested?”

Isabel could no longer remain upright. She sank into the chair her sister had vacated.

It wasn’t that she believed Seth would offer for her sister. She didn’t think he had an interest in Serena and she couldn’t believe he would ever be so cold as to do so after what they had shared.

But her sister’s excitement over the prospect of being his bride…

It changed everything.

“Isabel?
Do
you disapprove my choice?” Serena whispered.

“Your choice. Does that mean you
want
him to offer for you?” Isabel asked, trying to keep her tone from trembling, her hands from shaking. “Truthfully?”

Serena nodded immediately. “Why not? He is everything I could wish for in a man, isn’t he? I well imagine that whoever he takes for a bride would be vastly content in her life.”

Isabel shut her eyes. She could well imagine the same, for she knew Seth as intimately as a woman could know a man. Not just in his body, but in his mind. She had seen his fears and his kindnesses. Felt both his passion and his heartbreak.

“Yes,” she murmured as she looked at her giddy sister once more. “I suppose that is true.”

Her sister grinned, clearly mistaking Isabel’s agreement as approval. “Oh, I shall be the envy of every other girl!” She laughed as she danced again, this time toward the door. “Lady Lyndham—how well that sounds.”

Isabel stared as her sister scurried from the room, leaving her alone.

She dared to look at her reflection for the first time since her sister’s intrusion. How different it was. Last night she had looked alive, happy, sensual…beautiful. Today all those things were gone. Her eyes were red with sudden and unshed tears and her face was pale and drawn.

All that was left was the realization of what she now had to do.

Seth walked along the garden paths, talking to Jason about estate management techniques, even as his mind drifted to thoughts of Isabel and the utter surrender he had coaxed from her the night before.

“This topic is
such
a bore,” Jason said, his tone put-upon and exhausted.

Seth laughed, grateful to have his attention back where it belonged.

“I do realize you hate this sort of thing, but at some point you
will
have to learn. Your tenants suffer as much as your pocketbook when you don’t.”

Jason shrugged, but didn’t seem convinced even when he sighed, “Yes, I suppose I do owe them better than my worst. If there is such a thing.”

Seth frowned and was about to answer when they turned a corner and he halted midbreath and midpathway. There, not ten feet from them, was Isabel. She sat on a bench, a book in hand, though she wasn’t reading. In fact, she was looking right at them.

“Lady Avenbury,” Jason said, approaching her after he tossed Seth a meaningful look. “What a wondrous thing to have stumbled upon you. Lord Lyndham was just boring me to tears with his lecture on proper land management for wayward lords. Will you save me from him?”

Isabel turned her attention toward Jason as she pushed to her feet to greet the men. She smiled effortlessly. “I’m certain you shall survive the onslaught, my lord. I’ve heard you are quick on your feet.”

Jason bellowed out a long laugh. “My reputation precedes me, I’m certain in more ways than one.”

Isabel’s laugh mixed with his easily. “Why do you think I keep my sister so far from you?”

“A spitfire,” Jason said with another glance toward Seth. “How enchanting.”

Seth glared at him, as jealous of his smooth friend as he was of the other men who dared pay Isabel attention. Unfair as it was, those were his feelings.

“Actually,” Isabel said with a quick look toward Seth. “Perhaps I
can
save you, after all, Lord Northfield. It is actually a lucky thing you gentlemen struck upon me. Lord Lyndham, I have a topic of great importance to broach with you. Do you think I might have a moment of your time?”

Jason shoved him forward. “Take him, take him. He can bore you for a while. Good day.”

With that, his friend strode away, leaving Seth alone with Isabel. He smiled as he motioned her back to her bench and joined her.

“And so we find ourselves in my garden again,” he said as he briefly stroked a finger along her hand. She was wearing gloves, but she shivered at his touch. “The last time we were here…well, the last time when we weren’t sneaking into my home, that is…we had an enlightening conversation. We promised to only be friends, although time has made liars of us both.”

Instead of smiling, as he thought she would, Isabel tugged her hand away. “I’m afraid our conversation today must be less enjoyable.”

“You mean you really do have something to discuss?” Seth asked. “I thought that was a ruse to be rid of Northfield.”

She shook her head and there was no mistaking the true upset on her face. She appeared drawn and exhausted. And sad, which was the worst of it all.

“Unfortunately, it is not,” she whispered. “In fact, I arranged to have you two stumble upon me in the garden so that I could ask for a moment of your time without causing talk from the household.”

“And how did you know my friend and I were walking?” he asked gently.

She sucked in a breath, but it sounded pained, as if she was trying to hold her emotions in check and only barely succeeding.

“The servants talk, my lord,” she said with a sigh. “Or so I am determining.”

Seth sat up straighter at that unexpected statement. “Please do not tell me that someone has spoken of our meetings! Only my most trusted man knows of that fact, and I would be very displeased if it turned out he was a traitor.”

“No.” She hastened to assure him. Her hand stirred like she wanted to cover his fingers with hers, but she pulled back. “No, it isn’t about our meetings.”

“Then what makes you so grave?” he asked as he pushed a lock of her auburn hair from her cheek.

She blushed at the contact. “It seems that you arranged for me to be seated by you at supper last night?”

He nodded. “I did, but I was very careful to ensure that a few other chaperones were also moved. No one could dare question that.”

“They didn’t, and that is now the problem.”

Briefly her hand came up and she covered her eyes. Seth watched her struggle, helpless since he knew neither what had upset her nor how to ease her grief.

“Tell me, Isabel, and I’ll do everything in my power to assist you. To fix this,” he whispered.

“There is no fixing this, I fear.” She lowered her hand. “My sister heard of your machinations and she…she has come to believe that perhaps you have an interest in her.”

Seth stared as what she said hit him in the gut like a physical blow.

“Great God…” he began, then he stared at Isabel’s pained face. “Isabel, you must know I would never consider your sister as a bride. Not after what we have shared here. I couldn’t be so cruel. I hope you don’t believe her notion.”

This time when Isabel’s fingers stirred, she allowed herself to cover his hand. The warmth of her closed over him, comforting even in the face of her obvious and increasing distress.

“I do know that. I never for a moment believed she was correct,” she whispered. “But—but the problem still exists.”

Seth nodded. “I assume you tried to gently dissuade her from the idea that I have intentions to court her.”

She shook her head with a quiet moan. “I was so shocked by what she said and she was so excited by the prospect of catching your eye, I had no good answer for her one way or another. I could only stare at her.”

He pushed to his feet with a quiet curse. “Then we’ll have to find some way to end her hopes kindly. There is no reason we can’t resolve this quickly. She cannot be bound too strongly to me. We have spoken all of twice, maybe. To be honest, I barely remember those conversations.”

“But it isn’t only Serena we must consider,” Isabel pressed. She kept her seat and looked up at him with those big, brown eyes he had so often lost himself in. “She heard of your seating arrangements from her servant, which means someone told the maid. And if one person knows what was done, surely they would have told others. There is no reason not to believe that the group as a whole believes as strongly as my sister that you have a greater interest in her than any of the other women.”