A Modern Love Story (36 page)

She smiled at his reaction, knowing where it stemmed from. “Lizbeth told me what she said to you. Yes, Scott had feelings for me, but no, nothing happened.”

Luc lifted his gaze and began to smile, but it quickly faded. “It’s really none of my business.”

Robbie hesitated, then said quietly, “I say it is.” She put her hand over his.

He relaxed after that, even going so far as to agree with her about calling Scott. It seemed even Luc saw Colin’s behavior as out-of-the-ordinary, and he barely knew him.

The rest of the afternoon slipped past as they sat and talked, and then went for a drive to talk some more. Robbie was actually sorry to see their time come to an end as he walked her to her door, hands linked between them. It almost seemed like old times, even before they had started dating.

“Do you want to come inside?” she asked, not entirely sure it was the wisest idea she’d had, but deciding to go with her instincts.

He linked his other hand with hers as he turned to face her, looking down at her with those deep, dark eyes. “I would love to, but I’m going to decline.”

Watching for her reaction, he slowly leaned down to kiss her cheek. At first she tipped her head back in retreat, but then went with her gut again and tilted it up and to the side, giving him access.

“I had a good time today, Luc.”

“So did I.” He squeezed her hands before releasing them. “Could I see you again tomorrow?”

She cocked her head to the side as she read his expression. Did he think she’d say no? She should, but she found she didn’t want to. “Sure. We could do that.”

His shoulders seemed to lose their rigidity as he let out a small breath. “Great. I’ll see you then.” He leaned down for another quick peck. “I love you.”

*****

During the next week, Luc came and picked her up every afternoon to take her out. Every day it was something different; mini-golfing, bowling, shopping at the mall, even to a chick flick—all the things he normally wouldn’t be caught dead doing, all in the name of making Robbie happy. In addition, every other day she received a fresh, massive arrangement of wild flowers. Despite the fact her apartment was starting to look like a meadow, she loved the gesture. And, to her honest surprise, little by little, she found herself actually
wanting
to be with Luc again, in every way possible.

After each outing, Luc would hold Robbie’s hand, walk her to her door, kiss her cheek, and say he loved her. But he never took her up on her offer to come inside, even though by the end of the week, she was entirely sure she wanted him to. Finally, she decided not to take
no
as an answer.
 

Luc leaned down to plant his customary kiss on her cheek when suddenly Robbie turned her face into his, capturing his lips with hers. He froze against her for a moment, apparently unsure of where to take it. She made sure to help him along.
 

Tangling her fingers in his hair, she held firm as her mouth moved against his, teasing and tempting him with her tongue. His arms banded around her, fisting against the small of her back and crushing her against his chest. His mouth was hot and eager on hers, matching her intensity and need.

Unexpectedly, he eased back and squeezed her into a hug. His breath in her ear was gasping as he whispered his apologizes, that he hadn’t meant to get caught up in the moment. She couldn’t even wrap her head around what he was saying, not with his obvious excitement pressing hard into her belly.

“Luc,” she whispered back, clinging to him. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.”

He loosened his grip and held her at arm’s length. “Let’s go inside.”

She smiled and nodded. His brow creased as he looked her in the eye. “Just to talk, Robbie.”

She scowled and nearly argued, but figured a talk would provide her with some answers. They had better be good, though. Didn’t he say he wanted to be back with her? Didn’t he keep saying how much he loved her? She’d finally gotten the courage to give him another shot, and he denies her? None of it made sense.

Robbie had to hold back from stomping through her apartment in frustration as she led him inside. Once they were in the living room, she sat in a huff on the couch, arms folded. Luc sunk in next to her.

Tugging one of her hands loose, Luc engulfed it in both of his. “I know I’m confusing you, but I don’t mean to. Really, I don’t.”

“So what gives?”

“I didn’t think it was fair to you to…get physical…when we still haven’t even talked about what happened while you were gone.”

Robbie looked away. “I don’t want to. I’m trying to put it behind us.”

With a finger to her chin, he angled her face back toward him. “Let me ask you this. If a woman came up to me in Hooligan’s and started hitting on me, what would you guess my reaction would be?”

Robbie paused as she thought about it.

“See there?” Luc asked.

“What? I didn’t even answer yet.”

“You paused. That was enough.” He shook his head and sighed. “You don’t trust me, Rob. Not that I damn well expect you to, and I certainly don’t deserve it at this point, but I’m not about to get into an intense, physical relationship with you again when you don’t trust me. It’s not fair to you. I can wait.”

“What if I don’t want to wait?”

She shifted to straddle him, and he grabbed her arms. “I’m not playing games, Robbie, and I’m not trying to seduce, manipulate, or whatever. You
have
to trust me again. That is first and foremost for this to work out between us. This step is too important to skip.”

Even though she felt a little rejected, she knew he was right. If he had asked her that same question about a woman hitting on him
before
she left for San Diego, she would have answered in an instant. She knew, whole-heartedly, that he would’ve told her to take a hike. But now…

“Okay,” Robbie relented, slipping back off his lap. “So let’s start.”

“Now?”

His sudden panic almost amused her. “No time like the present.”

He pulled his hands through his hair and nodded. “Where do you want me to start?”

“Your choice.”

“Okay. All right.” He took a deep breath, and dove in. “You were right about what you said. About when you left. I didn’t expect it, but I felt abandoned. It wasn’t even like that though… I mean, I felt it, but it wasn’t like I held it against you or anything. It was more that I missed the
intensity
of being with you. I’ve never loved anyone before, and I didn’t know how to handle it when you weren’t there. When I’m with you…shit, I feel
alive
. It’s the best word I can come up with to describe it. And when you left, you took that with you. I couldn’t deal.”

He leveled his eyes at her. “I hope this doesn’t all sound like excuses to you. I know what I did was inexcusable, and I can’t even begin to explain how bad I feel. The regret. I’d rather cut off a limb than to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

 
“I do, Luc. I believe you.”

“I have to admit, my time with Payten is hazy at best. This is gonna sound like a line of shit, but I seriously don’t remember a lot of it. It’s frustrating as hell. I was with her…yes, I’m sorry, I was…but not many times. Jesus, not that the number of times fucking matters.” He grimaced, presumably over the swear word.

“Don’t worry about it. Just take your time.” She wanted to hear this, needed to. They had to get past this to move forward. No matter how hard it was to hear, there really was no other way.

“Those times I was with… I think I blocked it out or something. Maybe, deep down, I knew how wrong it was that my mind just
kinda
shut down?” The uncertainty in his tone made the last sentence sound like a question. By looking at his face, Robbie could tell he was lost in his own thoughts as he talked it through.

“You really can’t remember, can you?”

“No,” he huffed. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I
know
I was depressed, maybe even a little desperate, but I really don’t know why I did…well, what I did. I’m at fault, guaranteed. I’m not trying to dodge that bullet. But I can’t really explain it to you ‘cause I can’t figure it out myself.” His head fell against the back of the couch and he stared at the ceiling. “You shouldn’t trust me, Rob. Hell, I don’t even trust myself. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”

His words triggered a thought, and she wondered about the significance. “Luc, remember that night last week at Hooligan’s? The night you and I argued in your office.”

His groan told her he knew exactly which night she was talking about. “Jesus Christ, Robbie, if I had—”

“No. Forget about that part. But your behavior… Luc, you were acting like a crazy person. Do you think something’s wrong? Like a chemical imbalance, or something?”

“Shit. I
am
crazy then, huh?”

“That’s not what I mean, but maybe there’s something that would explain all this.” Robbie huffed a small laugh. “I suppose I’m being naive in hoping there’s some other reason why you were with
her
, but I really think it’s something worth looking into. Seriously, Luc. You weren’t acting like yourself at all.”

He sighed as he ground the heels of his hands in his eyes. “I don’t exactly relish the idea of going to a doctor and asking him to
prove
that I’m nuts.”

“Well,” she said lightly, “if it’s any consolation, I already knew you were.”

He smiled, rolling his head to the side to look at her. “Thanks, Squirt.”

“Any time, Stretch.” She smirked as she crawled onto his lap, and cuddled into his chest.

“Ya know,” she said, trying to keep things light, “when you do let me have a go at you, I bet I’ll win.”

He chuckled as his arms came around her. His voice turned husky. “Nope, I already won—when you decided to take me back.” He kissed the top of her head, and murmured how much he loved her into her ear.

Feeling the full gravity of the situation, and the raw emotions it exposed, Robbie squirmed slightly before whispering, “Don’t you ever hurt me like that again.”

His lean, muscled arms banded tight. “Never.”

*****

Luc shoved Conrad through the door ahead of him, eager to get this over with.

“Hey, quit pushing.”

“Then stop dragging your goddamn feet. You’d think we’re in here for you, not me.” Luc stopped and stared around the jewelry store, not even sure where to fucking start. “Aww, hell. I’m way over my head.”

“What’s the rush for, man? Why do you all of a sudden need this
now
?”

“‘Cause I know what I want, and I wanna be fucking ready when Robbie gets there too.”

A demure woman with auburn hair lifted an eyebrow at the two men. “Can I help you gentlemen find something?”

Conrad didn’t hesitate to grab Luc’s arm and tug him forward. “He’s looking for an engagement ring.”

“How lovely,” she said, clasping her hands in front of her with a smile. “We have our engagement settings right over here.”

Luc followed as she strolled to a massive display case. His eyes went big when he saw all the choices.

“Do you know what you’re looking for?”

“
Ahh
, an engagement ring?” His face felt hot under her stare.

“Yes,” she said, “but do you know what carat diamond, the color, clarity? Perhaps, you have a certain cut in mind?”