A New Day (StrikeForce #1) (25 page)

And then he put his hand around my throat. Tightened his grip. I lost hold of Toxxin’s arm for a second in my panic. I felt my vision going black.

I vaguely heard voices on my comm. It sounded like Jenson, telling someone off. Beta, Caine shouting.

All I wanted was to be able to breathe.

I felt around, got a hold of Toxxin’s arm again. I had no idea if it worked if she was unconscious.

I pressed her bare hand against Maddoc's arm.

For a moment, all I felt was his hand tightening on my throat, my body starting to fail due to loss of oxygen, a burning, excruciating pain in my chest and down my arms.

My vision went dark.

And I felt dead weight on top of me before everything went black.

Chapter Twenty

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Click. Click.

Whirring sounds. The sound of footsteps.

I wanted to open my eyes, but nothing got brighter. It was like I’d forgotten how to even do that much.

And it hurt. Jesus, it hurt.

I lay there, aware that I was somewhere soft.

It started coming back to me. Maddoc. Maddoc’s fists. Maddoc’s hands around my throat.

I swallowed, and it hurt. I started coughing, my throat spasming.

“Jolene, sweetie,” I heard my mother say, and then I finally did manage to force my eyes open before the coughing fit started again.

She lifted a cup of water to my lips, held my head up, urging me to drink, slowly. I did, and eventually the coughing subsided, even though my throat hurt so bad it brought tears to my eyes.

“Mama,” I said, and even to my ears, it sounded pathetic.

“I’m here, baby. I’m here,” she said, and I hated seeing the tears in her eyes. “Jolene, why didn’t you tell me?”

I reached my hand out, and she took it. “I’m sorry, Mama.”

“I’m proud of you, Jolene Faraday. I always have been.”

“I'm a--.”

She shook her head. “A hero. That’s what the new job was,” she said, shaking her head. “That fight was on the news. It wasn’t until the end of that fight… he hit you so hard your mask flew off.”

I hadn’t even noticed at the time. I blinked my eyes in response. Couldn’t even imagine nodding, not the way my head and throat ached.

“My heart stopped when it happened, when I realized what I was seeing. And I raced here, and I caused a fuss until the lady at the front desk let me in. I had to hear it from Jenson…” she trailed off, then clasped my hand in hers, lifted it to her face and held my hand against her cheek. Her eyes were bright with tears. “I wish you would have told me, Jolene. It’s amazing.”

“I was freaked out, and then things got… things got nuts,” I said. Was it possible that Jenson hadn’t told her the whole story? It seemed like it, maybe. If my mother knew about the burglary stuff, I would have been getting a lecture, no matter how beat up I was. “You would have wanted me to stop,” I added.

“Damn right I would have. Your life was in danger every time you went out to fight one of these villain types. Why in the world would you sign on for something like this?”

Why, indeed.

I sighed, and it hurt. I wondered if I had a few broken ribs or something, the way my chest ached. “I wanted to. It felt right. I know it doesn’t make sense. It made me feel alive,” I finished in a whisper, and I wasn’t sure anymore whether I was talking about thieving or fighting.

She kissed my hand, and then set my hand back on the mattress beside me. She was about to say something when a woman in a white coat walked in.

“And, she’s up. You gave us a few scary moments, Daystar,” she said.

“Where am I?”

“At Command. Hospital wing,” she said, and I blinked in acknowledgment. She put a stethoscope to my chest, shined a bright light in my eyes. It hurt.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” she asked quietly.

“Yes.” Yes, I sure the hell did. And Alpha better hope it took me a while to get up and around again.

“Okay. You suffered severe loss of oxygen from your altercation with Maddoc—“

“Did they take him in? At least tell me we got him.”

“They did. He’s in confinement now.”

I felt some of the tension go out of my body. “What about Toxxin and Portia? Are they okay?”

“They’ve fully recovered. They’re actually both outside waiting to see you, if you’re up to it. They’re fine.”

I blinked. “Good.”

“You are more of a concern, Daystar,” she said. “As I was saying, you suffered severe oxygen loss at Maddoc’s hand. You’ve been in a coma for five days. We weren’t sure when, or even if, you’d regain consciousness. We very nearly lost you.” She paused. “You also suffered a heart attack, due again to the oxygen loss and the stress on your system. The technical term for what you experienced is cerebral hypoxia. We will see, over the next few days, how much permanent damage you experienced.”

“Permanent damage?”

My mother shook her head, and she was blinking back tears.

“Usually, in cases like yours, we see brain damage. Loss of fine motor skills. You seem pretty cognitively aware right now, which is good.” She paused, then shook her head as if she was frustrated. “Why didn’t you just fly away from him?”

I stared. Nobody knew. Why didn’t she know that I couldn’t have?

“I… guess I just wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt my squad members who were already down,” I said quietly. “Um. Do I still have a metal band around my neck?”

She nodded. “Alpha said you’d want it left on.”

I had an entire deluge of curses in response to that, but my mother was sitting right there. “How considerate of him,” I said instead, gritting my teeth as a wave of shivers hit me.

“That might happen. Nerve damage,” the doctor said. “We’ll observe you for a few days here while you recuperate, and then we’ll begin any rehabilitation you need. For now, I want you to rest. I’ll be back in a little while to look you over gain. Are you up for visitors?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

My mother leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I love you, ladybug,” she whispered.

“I love you too, Mama. I’m fine.”

She nodded.

“Really. I’m fine.”

“You heard her—“

“We’ll deal with it, and I’m fine.”

“You can come stay with me. Rest up and…” her eyes brightened again.

“Mom, I’m not quitting StrikeForce,” I said quietly. It was easier than getting into why I
couldn’t
actually leave at the moment.

She stared at me. “Jolene, you don’t even know if you’re able—“

“I’ll deal with it. I’m not quitting.” At least, not when there were still so, so many things I still needed to do. “I’ll figure it out,” I added gently. “You look exhausted. You should go home and rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay. Should I send those other StrikeForce women in?” she asked, and it was evidence of how exhausted she was that she’d actually agreed.

“Please. I love you.”

She bent and kissed my forehead again, rested her forehead against mine. “I am proud of you. Of everything. I want it to stop, now, but I know better than to try to talk you out of something once you’ve set your mind on something.”

“Wonder where I get my stubbornness from,” I murmured.

She shook her head. “You’re stubborn and reckless and you make me crazy. But I love you.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Mama.”

She kissed me again, then walked out of my room. A few moments later, Toxxin ducked into the room, followed by Portia. Toxxin took one of my hands, bent close to me. “You saved my life. I saw it on the news footage afterward. You could have gotten away okay, and you went back and saved me,” she teared up, then bent her head. “You crazy woman. You saved me.” She squeezed my hand harder. “Nobody’s ever done anything like that for me. I’ve never, ever been worth saving.”

“Bullshit,” I said, and she let out a low sob. When I looked up at Portia, she was like stone. I’d never seen her so angry. Her eyes were practically flashing. “He should have undampened you. We asked him, over and over again.”

“And Beta and Caine left without permission to come and help you, but they got there just after you knocked him out,” Toxxin said. “That was smart, to use my hand like that.”

“I wasn’t sure it would work. Hoped it would, or I was screwed,” I said.

“He’s an asshole. Dangerous. Worse than a rabid dog,” Portia hissed, and it took me a second to realize that she wasn’t talking about Maddoc, but Alpha. “He’s unfit to lead. He only does because he’s paying for it and he has this need to be worshipped and adored. And because he has us under control,” she added in a low voice.

“You’re not wearing a dampener,” I pointed out. “And you have just the kind of power that would let you get out easily.”

“No. I’m not. But he has someone I care about in the detention tower,” she said softly. “I leave, and things will get bad.” She paused, then went on. “He’s been in hiding, kind of, since it happened. He’s been in his office and won’t see anybody. He put Caine and Beta in detention. They’re out, but they’re fully dampened now, too.”

I took a breath and it hurt. I wanted the tubes in my nose and mouth to go away. Swallowing felt even weirder with the stupid tubes down my throat, and the tape holding the tubes to my face was making me itchy. Plus, I was afraid of moving in case I pulled something by mistake.

I closed my eyes. “Who isn’t dampened?”

“Just me, Crystal, Chance, and Nightbane,” she said.

I kept my eyes closed, thinking. No. They weren’t the only ones not wearing dampeners.

“We’ll figure something out,” I said, opening my eyes again. “He’s going to put me back in confinement when I recover enough.”

“And bring you out when we have to actually fight someone. Rather than fight himself, rather than train us to fight—“ Portia broke off, shaking her head, furious. “This is such bullshit. You were right all along. About all of it. And I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner.”

“You had your own concerns. You thought you were doing the right thing,” I added, and her shoulders slumped.

“I did. Until… well. I was a fool.”

“Nothing we can do about it right now. I guess I have therapy and rehab coming up, once they figure out how bad it was.”

They both looked uncomfortable, and I tried to pretend I couldn’t see it.

“You might not be able to fight,” Toxxin said.

“It would be better for her if she could. If she can’t fight, she’s not worth anything to him,” Portia said darkly, and I was inclined to agree with her.

It was better for
everyone
if I could still fight.

“See if you can catch it,” Dr. Ali said, tossing the soft, bright green ball to me. I brought my arm up, but it was like slow motion, and I watched the ball sail past me again, well before I’d even managed to get my hand in the air.

Every time I missed the ball, I wanted to puke. How was I supposed to punch things if I couldn’t get my hand moving? I could still walk, which we’d established a few days after I woke up. My balance wasn’t great and it felt like I had to focus on every movement, like I had to try to remember how my legs were supposed to work. It was infuriating, but Dr. Ali was sure it would improve in time. Certain things, like getting a cup to my mouth, or picking up objects like books or phones, I was fine with. I was having major trouble with anything that required quick reflexes.

There were other problems, too. My fine motor skills were shot. I couldn’t hold a pen. My handwriting, when I managed it, was huge, sloppy, the way it had been when I was in kindergarten. I couldn’t apply make up. Brushing my teeth required a special toothbrush with a larger, wider handle and pump toothpaste instead of a tube that I would have to squeeze. Water pick instead of floss. I couldn’t pick up small objects. My hands just wouldn’t work that way anymore.

I did some exercises, at Dr. Ali’s instruction, then headed back to my room. Toxxin and Portia had come to see me every day since I’d woken up, and they were waiting for me when I got back.

“How’d it go?” Toxxin asked. I gave her a look, and she bit her lip. “That good, huh?”

I sat on the edge of my bed. “I’m useless.”

They didn’t seem to know what to say. And it was so much worse because I knew they were counting on me to… what? To fix the mess that was StrikeForce somehow? Laughable.

“Um. There’s someone here to see you. Killjoy,” Portia added in a quiet voice, giving me a questioning look. “For some reason, Jenson let him in. And killed the cameras in your room.”

My stomach twisted. Didn’t he realize that he was walking into the lions den? Jenson surely knew it. If Alpha wanted him collared and put away, which I had every suspicion that he did, he had walked right into it.

“Can you send him in?” I asked, and they both went out. I saw Portia touch her comm, as if she was being spoken to. She turned to look at me.

“Jenson just told us to stand guard outside your room and make sure nobody bothered you when he’s in there. It’ll be okay.”

She seemed to get what I was worried about, and I was grateful. I gave her a nod, and a moment later Killjoy walked in, dressed head to toe in black as usual, face covered. I stood up, and he crossed the room in three long, fast strides, and took both of my hands in his.