A Perfect Mismatch (11 page)

“It is getting dark. Shall we go now?” Zara’s voice interrupted his dismal train of thoughts. They walked back to the hotel hand in hand and called room service before they freshened up.

Armaan had offered Zara the bed, much against the deep undercurrent of desire. He decided to take the sofa which Zara felt was unnecessary. However, Armaan insisted that it was the least he could do. She did not care who won. All the antagonism had been purged in one night.

While Zara was in the bath, Armaan paced about making
plans. He wanted her. The thought grew into a crescendo. He was not sure how to approach her without hurting her further. He wanted to erase every stupid word and action that could have hurt Zara. This was an opportunity to set things straight between them. On an impulse he strode out of the hotel to the nearest chemist’s shop. It was always good to be prepared. He would convince her to sleep with him again. And this time he would make sure that she was happy with their decision. He avoided thinking of the emotional complications that could change his equation with Zara.

When he returned, the food had already arrived and Zara was arranging the steaming platters. Dinner was subdued, as neither had any inclination to talk. Zara had sunk into a sullen silence as the meal progressed and was startled when he stopped her from leaving the room.

Armaan caught her hand before she could turn away after a polite goodnight. “I have something to say.” It was more difficult than he imagined but he had to convince her.

He watched her eyes grow confused at the sudden change in the tone. He was still holding her hand in a warm clasp.

“Last night when we …” he began softly.

“You needn’t mention it again. It happened when neither of us was in our right minds. I won’t say anything to Bani if that is what you are afraid of.”

Armaan was taken aback. He could not care less if Bani or the whole world came to know that he had slept with his wife!

“What has Bani got to do with us?” he queried, faintly annoyed at getting side tracked. He had still not said what he had been going to say.

“She did tell me before the wedding that she and you were lovers and that I was just a spoke in the wheel that your mother had employed to stop you two from getting married.”

“Bani said
what
?”

Zara watched his countenance change with dread. She did not want to quarrel with him. She was too drained. Armaan cut into her thoughts impatiently. “First of all, Bani and I were never together. She was interested but I was not. Neither in an affair nor in marriage. If Mom thought like that, she was mistaken. But I do know that Mom liked you from the beginning. I was never interested in marriage because I know what it did to my mother. She spent her whole life loving my dad. But all she got in the end were two children and the tag of a leftover wife. I hated him with a vengeance as a child!”

Armaan paused to steady his thoughts and suddenly Zara had a glimpse of the little boy who had been scarred once. Losing faith in one’s own parent was damaging enough to make him commitment-phobic. She understood now why he was the way he was and regretted all those horrid things she had accused him of.

“I had never wanted to join the matrimonial bandwagon until Mom became adamant that I marry you. She was really ill and I had no choice but to agree. She seemed to like you very much and for some reason had got it into her
head that you might mend my wayward ways.” Armaan shrugged.

Yes, she knew that much. Her mother-in-law was the only one in the group of elders who had been kind to her.

“However, that is not what I wanted to say.” Armaan continued, as he caressed her wrist with an intimacy that had her bones melting. “Last night was a disaster by all accounts. We don’t want to repeat that, right?”

She nodded, a flash of pain leapt across her eyes and she averted her gaze.

“Look at me, Zara.” He tilted her face with a hand under her chin. “What I mean is that I would like to rectify the mistake I made.” He paused. “It needn’t be like the way it happened. I want to show you that it can be very different. It can be beautiful and sensual and memorable.” The words were whispered into her ear as he stepped closer.

Her eyes flew up in sheer astonishment. “I don’t understand. Are you saying that you want to …” she could not finish the sentence.

“Yes. I want to show you that I am not such a callous, arrogant, boor as you believe me to be.”

Zara pulled away shaken. She was being offered heaven on a platter. She was very sure it had its price. “Why?” She trembled visibly. “Your sympathy is misplaced. I do not need your pity if that is what this is all about. I told you we can forget what happened.”

“It is not sympathy!”

“Last night you said that it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Yes I did. It should never have happened the way it
did! We were furious with each other. We can change that together.”

“Why?” She was bewildered and hurt that this was another game to torture her.

“I want you.” The words fell in a hoarse gravelly tone.

Zara was knocked sideways. She was sure that it was a terrible joke. Why would he want her? The man had never spared her a glance all his life. Yes, he had been blown away last night in a frenzied moment, but to make a deliberate, firm decision on this issue was beyond her imagination. If he was being condescending, he deserved another slap. No. He looked perfectly serious. She was terrified of the storm building inside her. Did he just say that?

“Why? Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? You did not want to marry me anymore than I wanted to marry you,” she said on a tattered whisper.

“I
don’t
know why!’ Armaan said in a tortured tone. “Yes, I did not want to marry you. I have not changed my mind about marriage being a sham. But I have changed my mind about you.” He closed his eyes. His jaw tightened as he ran a hand through his thick dark hair and said, “You can’t deny that something is brewing between us. All I know is that I want you. I have never felt this explosive passion for anyone. I feel terrible about the way it started. And if you are willing we could explore this aspect of our relationship.” He reached out to clasp her hands in his. “What do you say?”

“No!” It was out before she could stop herself. She knew with certainty that there would be no turning back if she agreed. She was terrified of a hundred dreadful
repercussions that would emerge out of such a deal. She would never be able to walk away from him in one piece. She was afraid that Armaan would not care if it broke her heart.

She stepped back from his arms, taking a deep shuddering breath as if she could not believe herself. “No! Not possible. Goodnight Armaan. Thanks for a nice day.”

“Zara … please listen to me …” Armaan began to protest immediately but she was already running into the bedroom to bang the door shut behind her.

It was like another slap in the face and Armaan reeled at the impact of her refusal. He could not understand why she appeared so frightened. He had only himself to blame after last night’s episode, he acknowledged rather painfully. Obviously, she had not forgiven him. He would have to think of a better way of convincing her. She wasn’t exactly unaffected. He had not been mistaken by her fiery response when they had made love last night. It was only a matter of time … with a little gentle persuasion …

Zara sat down on the bed with a thump. What she had just heard was madness! How had he come to such an erroneous conclusion about her? Did she come across as the kind of woman who would sleep with a man just for the sake of it? Well, going by the events of the previous night maybe, she was. But he was her husband! She would never have slept with him if he were not. The truth came as a shock to her. Did that mean that she considered this marriage as important as a genuine one? Oh, what a fool to have fallen into the trap. The memory of his hands on her body had her heart galloping. His offer was a piece of
heaven on a golden platter. Hadn’t she wanted him since she knew what it was to be a woman?

Heaven it was, to be sure, with a heavy price tag and an expiry date! She would be buried under the weight of it, stripped to the skin of her dignity, if she let herself fall any deeper.

Or … Maybe she should take up the offer only to rid herself of the way she felt about him. After all, they were married! After a few months’ time when the excitement wore off and everything became dull and lackluster as in most marriages, she would walk out free. In the meanwhile why not take up this once in a lifetime offer. Now that Bani was out of the picture, she need not worry about being jealous either. That was one strictly avoidable emotion!

Zara jumped up and paced the floor frantically. What if there were other women? She would have to set ground rules. She walked about jerkily in circles for a while and then stood still. Another problem cropped up. What if she became pregnant? Her hand touched her belly. Last night was a huge risk. It was irreversible now. She would go and talk to him. Maybe he had changed his mind about it and the offer was only to pacify her. Well good for her, she thought, relief mingling with severe disappointment.

Zara made up her mind. She stepped into the hallway half hoping that Armaan would have slept by now. No such luck. He was standing by the window in the dimly lit living room looking out of the windows. The tall silhouette, the wide shoulders and the lean hips sent hot shivers in all the secret places of her body. She stared at him with a growing hunger.

About to turn back with her heart still hammering at her throat she heard him call out her name in surprise.

“Zara?” He was right in front of her in a second, holding her shoulders in a warm clasp.

Zara stood rooted to the floor, dressed in a cotton robe that covered her baby blue pyjamas, her hair a satin sheath behind her. Her tongue cleaved to the palate. “I … ummm … nothing …”

Armaan was fascinated by the interesting shade of pink that suffused her cheeks. She began to turn away hastily but this time he caught her hand and pulled her right into his arms.

“You were saying something.” He felt his blood rush down south at the first contact with her warm body.

“I … have been thinking,” she said carefully addressing his throat, her fists bunched at his chest. It felt so good to be in his arms but she was already losing courage until she felt his hard arousal against her belly. That gave her tattered sails a little rush of wind.

“You were thinking what?” He was drawing her inexorably into him. She smelt way too good, an ethereal, fresh, natural scent that caught at his senses and pulled down all the barriers.

She looked up at his eyes; smouldering even in the semi-darkened room. She looked down hastily; her eyes skittered down to the safety of his adam’s apple. “About last night … It was a mistake. What if I am pregnant?” she finished, on a hasty breath.

“Well, we would just have to find a way to accommodate a baby,” he said without hesitation. “What happened was
my fault and I am ready to take up responsibility. Let us hope that the situation does not arise.”

At least he was not taking the coward’s way out, she thought relieved. She breathed more easily and said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

“And …” He held his breath.

“That I agree with … what … you had in mind.”

“And that is …” his voice dipped huskily.

She looked up wondering if he was going to burst out laughing for there was a mischievous glint in his eyes now.

“I am fine if you want me,” she took a shuddering breath and continued, “we just have to be more careful.”

“You are right. I will take care of that.” He was glad he had visited the chemist right on time. “Anything else?” His hands moved down to her hips, pressing her into him.

Zara was distracted but continued breathlessly, “However … I will sleep with you only on one condition.”

“I might have guessed,” he muttered. “Go on!”

“I cannot accept a third party in this relationship. I will agree only on the condition that you won’t cheat behind my back until the time this marriage is on.”

“How can I cheat with another woman when I am an ‘arrogant boor’ whom no sane woman would fancy? And are you agreeing because you sympathize with me, knowing that no woman would have married me anyway? Why did you change your mind?” He was about to chuckle but controlled his mirth.

She drew back and wondered at his saintly countenance. Was he laughing at her?

“Yes, Zara?”

She fought hard with her own insecurities.
This
was the time to back out! She could go and live her life on her own terms without compromising her values.
And never know how it feels like to be loved?
A voice she had controlled and beaten to submission for years taunted her. She could leave now and live her mundane, unfulfilled life. Or make the most of this opportunity.

“I thought it is better to make hay while the sun shines,” she told him primly with a haughty lift of her chin, still not looking at him.

He did chuckle then, deep in his chest and swept her up in his arms, lifting her off the floor, while she buried her hot face in his solid chest.

“So you want me too?” asked Armaan, kissing the side of her neck.

“Mmmm …”

“Say it!” he insisted.

“Yes, I want you.” It was softly whispered into his ear as she burrowed into the crook of his shoulder.

Armaan carried her into the room but did not take her to bed as she had expected. He slid down into the beanbags near the French windows. The moonlight filtering through the clear glass lit up her face imparting a silvery glow to her cheeks. Her eyes sparkled like silver with excitement. The distant roar of the waves was similar to the heated blood running through her veins. He sat near her, held her hands, and simply gazed at her for long moments.

She was his wife! Pure pleasure ran through his veins.
The thought was scary
! But his want for her was greater,
submerging the warning from his brain. He had thought she would never agree to make love with him again. But she had come to him, and somehow it made him happier than anything had in a long while. He would make sure that she felt pleasure this time. He would make up for everything that had gone wrong between them.