A Perfect Stranger (16 page)

It was an hour later before they caught their breath and she went to get him a cup of coffee. He sat in bed sipping it slowly, smoking a cigarette. Raphaella looked over at him worriedly with a small frown between her eyes. Can you still catch a plane tonight? Her eyes were large and dark and damp, and her face was lit as though with some magical light from within. It was as though suddenly her face took away his anger, as though all the fury drained from his being, just from being with her. Without answering her question, he moved toward her and pulled her into his arms, where he held her tightly, as though he might never let go. They lay like that for a long moment as Raphaella stroked his back with one graceful hand. They said nothing and then, pulling carefully away from her, he looked down into her face again. Will you come to New York with me, Raphaella?

Now? She looked stunned. In the middle of the night? What would she say to her household, to John Henry? How could she go with him? She had had no time to prepare anyone. Her mind raced. But no one had prepared Amanda either, the poor child. There was a look of despair in her eyes as she looked up to answer his question. Alex' I want to' I'd like to. But I can't. She had taken such a big step tonight. She wasn't yet ready for more. And she couldn't just leave John Henry.

He nodded slowly. I understand. He turned to look again at this woman that he borrowed, who was someone else's, not his, and yet whom he loved so much. I may be gone for a while. She nodded slowly. She wanted desperately to go with him, but they both knew she could not. Instead she held him tightly in her arms, wordlessly, and offered whatever comfort she could.

I'm sorry, Alex.

So am I. He was more composed now. My sister should be horsewhipped for the way she takes care of that child.

It can't be her fault. Raphaella looked shocked. Why was the child alone? Where was her mother, dammit? Her father' ? He began to cry again and Raphaella held him tightly.

They called the hospital three more times that evening, and Amanda was still listed as critical when at last Raphaella went home. It was by then a little after four thirty and they were both exhausted, but they had done the little they could do, and Raphaella had helped pack his bags. They had sat and talked for hours, staring into the fire, as Alex told her what Amanda had been like as a little girl. What had become clear to Raphaella was how he loved her, and how much it pained him that her parents had never taken time with her as a child.

Alex' ? She looked at him pensively in the firelight. It was the only light that had remained in the dark room. Why don't you bring her back here when she's better?

To San Francisco? He looked startled. How could I do that? I'm not prepared' I don't have He sighed softly. I'm at my office all day. I'm busy.

So is her mother, and the difference is that you love her. Raphaella smiled softly in the glow from the embers, and he thought that he had never seen her look as beautiful as she did now. When my brother died and my mother went back to Santa Eugenia with her sisters, all my father and I had were each other. She looked very far away for a long moment. And I think we helped each other a lot.

Alex looked pensive as he watched her. I doubt very much that her parents would let me bring her out.

Raphaella looked at him quietly. After what happened do they really have a choice? Isn't it a little bit their fault that they weren't taking better care of their daughter, that they let her go there, that maybe they didn't even know where she was?

Silently he nodded. It was what he had been thinking all evening. He blamed it all on his sister. And her insane ambition that had long since blocked everyone else from her view. I'll think it over. And then he looked at her pensively. We could fix up the third floor for her, couldn't we?

She grinned at him then. Yes, we' could. I could easily get it all ready in a few days. But, Alex' .

There was an unspoken question in her eyes now, and this time it was Alex who smiled. She'd love you. You're everything her mother has refused to give her.

But her mother may not like it, Alex. After all I'm we're not She faltered and he shook his head.

So? Does it really make a difference? Does it to us? She shook her head.

But to other people, people who matter to Kay, it would seem wrong.

I don't care. His voice was harsh now. It was then that he had looked wistfully once more at Raphaella, thinking of his family and the trip to New York. I wish you were coming with me. He had said it yet again as he had watched her dress to go home that morning, and now he whispered it one last time as she prepared to leave him and walk the last block to her house alone.

Her eyes were damp now in the gray before the morning, and she wasn't sure but she thought that his were too. In their own way they had been keeping a vigil for Amanda, staying awake, keeping her alive in their thoughts and their conversation, reaching out to the child who lay so bruised and battered so far away in New York. But it wasn't of Amanda that Raphaella was thinking as she kissed Alex again and touched his face for a last time. I wish that I were coming too. She felt once again the cruelty of her situation, the push and pull of obligations she had to fulfill for John Henry, yet she was so grateful to have Alex back in her life again, to be sharing even a night or a moment with him. All that she really regretted was not being able to help him make the difficult journey to New York. Will you be all right there? He nodded, but he wasn't smiling. He would be all right. But would Amanda? They had talked of bringing her home to San Francisco, but what if she didn't survive? The thought crossed both their minds now as Raphaella's lips gently touched his eyes. May I call you? He nodded, this time with a smile.

They both knew that a great deal had changed between them in one evening. It was a leap that they had made together, hand in hand.

I'm going to be staying at my mother's.

Give her my love. Their eyes met and held for a long moment and she kissed him for a last time. And don't forget how much I love you.

He kissed her long and hard then, and finally with a last move she was gone. The heavy oak door closed a block away a few minutes later, and Alex walked quickly back to his house to shower and dress before catching the seven-o'clock flight to New York.

Charlotte Brandon waited nervously downstairs in the hospital lobby, staring at the reception desk and the vending machines that sold candy and coffee, as Alex went upstairs to see Amanda for the first time. The last report he had had when he called from the Carlyle was that she was doing better and she was a little less sedated, but now she was in considerable pain. Visits were not encouraged, but since Alex had come so far to see her, they would let him into the intensive-care unit, on the hour, for five or ten minutes, but no more.

And now Alex had vanished into the elevator as his mother sat numbly, watching the passersby. But the faces were all blank and unfamiliar as they hurried in and out of the lobby, carrying flowers, presents, shopping bags with slippers and bedjackets. Twice she had watched hugely pregnant women amble in slowly with tense faces, holding tightly to their husbands, who clutched little overnight bags in their other hands. Charlotte remembered with tenderness moments like that in her own life, but tonight she felt very old and tired and all she could think of was her grandchild, lying in a bed on another floor. And Kay had not yet been to see her. She was due in from Washington in a few hours. George had come in, of course, but he only checked the charts and spoke to the resident and the nurses and offered little comfort to the child.

George was really not the right man to be a father to his daughter in this circumstance. He was too uncomfortable with her feelings.

Mother? She jumped at the sound of Alex's voice speaking her name and turned to see the look of grief in his eyes. It struck fresh terror in her heart.

How is she?

The same. And where the hell is Kay?

I told you, she's in Washington, Alex. George called her immediately after the police called him, but she couldn't get away until tonight. It had been more than twenty-four hours since the nightmare had occurred. And Alex's eyes blazed.

She should be goddamn shot. And George, where the hell is he? The nurse up there says he keeps coming and going, just to check the charts.

Well, there isn't much else he can do. Is there?

What do you think? They both fell silent. He didn't tell her that Amanda had been sobbing so hysterically when he'd gotten there that they'd had to give her another shot. But as least she had recognized him, and she had clung so desperately to his hand. Just looking at him now, Charlotte Brandon's eyes filled with tears once again, and she sat down in one of the orange vinyl lobby chairs and blew her nose.

Oh, Alex, how do things like this happen?

Because there are crazy people out there, Mother. And because Amanda has two parents who don't give a damn.

Charlotte spoke softly as Alex sat down in the chair next to hers. Do you really believe that, Alex?

I don't know what I believe. But I do know one thing. Whatever Kay feels for her child, in her heart, she still has no right to be the one to bring her up. Even if she thinks she loves her and I'm not even convinced that she does she still has absolutely no idea of what's involved, no idea of what she owes that child as her mother. And George is just as bad. Charlotte nodded her head slowly. She had thought so before, but she had never anticipated anything like this. She looked into Alex's eyes, and she saw something there she had never seen before.

Are you going to do something about this, Alex? She had suddenly sensed it. It was as though she knew.

I am. He spoke with quiet determination.

What do you have in mind? Whatever it was, she knew it would be radical, and for Amanda's best interest. She had a great deal of faith in her only son.

I'm taking her back with me.

To San Francisco? Charlotte Brandon looked momentarily stunned. Can you do that?

I'm going to. Just let them try to stop me. I'll make the biggest stink you've ever seen, and see how my darling political sister enjoys that. He had Kay over a barrel and they both knew it. His mother nodded her head.

Do you think you can take care of her out there, Alex? It isn't as though she's had a skating accident. There are going to be emotional repercussions from all this as well.

I'll do my best. I'll get her a good shrink and give her all the loving I can. It can't hurt. And it's more than she has here.

I could keep her with me, you know.

No, you couldn't. He looked at her honestly. You're no match for Kay. She'd threaten you into letting her come back to them in a week.

I'm not sure of that. Charlotte looked only slightly miffed.

Why risk it? Why not make a nice clean break? San Francisco is a long way off.

But you'll be alone out there with her, Alex' . And then, as she said the words, she suddenly understood, and her eyes bore into her son's asking a silent question, as slowly he began to smile. He knew his mother well.

Yes? He had nothing to hide from his mother. He never had before. They were friends, and he trusted her, even with the secret of Raphaella.

This time Charlotte smiled too. I'm not quite sure how to phrase what I'm thinking. Your' er' young friend' the' uh

Good God, Mother! He chuckled softly. If you mean Raphaella, yes, I'm still seeing her. He didn't want to admit that she had just returned to him after two months of agonizing separation. He didn't want his mother, or anyone, to know that Raphaella had ever had doubts. It hurt his pride as much as his soul, but the fact that he was involved with a married woman, and one as well-known as Raphaella, was not a secret he would keep from her. His face sobered as he looked at his mother. We talked about all this last night, before I left. I think she could give a great deal to Amanda.

I don't doubt it, Charlotte sighed softly. But Alex, she has ' other responsibilities' . Her husband is a very sick man.

I know that. But they have nurses. She won't be able to be with Amanda day and night, but she'll be with us some of the time. At least he prayed that she would. And regardless of Raphaella, Mother, this is something I have to do for Amanda, and for myself. I won't be able to live with myself if I leave that child here with Kay gone all the time and George lost in the clouds. She's withering from the lack of attention. She needs more than they have to give her.

And you think you can?

I'm sure as hell going to try.

Well she took a deep breath and looked at her son I wish you well, darling. I think what you're doing is probably right.

Thank you. There was a mist in his eyes as he kissed her cheek and stood up. Come on, I'll take you home, and then I'll come back to see her again.

You must be exhausted after the trip. She looked at him worriedly, there were dark circles under his eyes.

I'm fine. And he was even more so a few minutes later as his mother opened the door of the apartment and the phone was ringing determinedly. Without asking permission to answer it, Alex pounced on it and then instantly beamed. It was Raphaella.

How is she?

The smile faded slowly as his thoughts reverted again to his niece. About the same.

Have you seen your sister?

Not yet. His voice hardened on the words. She's not coming in from Washington until tonight. At her end Raphaella looked shocked, but Alex couldn't see.

But you're all right?

I'm well. And I love you.

Raphaella smiled. So do I. She had missed him unbearably all day and had gone on several long walks. She had already been to his house twice. And it did not feel like intruding into the house of a stranger, it felt like coming home. She had carefully cleaned up all the debris from the Thanksgiving dinner and watered all his plants. It was amazing how naturally she felt herself fitting into his life. How's your mother?

Fine.

Give her my love. They talked on for a few moments and then Alex told her that he had decided to bring Amanda home.