A Promise Kept (14 page)

Coffee would have to wait. First she needed to stand beneath a spray of hot water while she tried to put her emotions together.

By the time Allison was showered, her hair dried, makeup on, and dressed in comfy clothes, her daughter had prepared scrambled eggs, sausage links, and cinnamon rolls.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Meredith greeted her as she entered the kitchen. “OJ or grapefruit juice?”

“Grapefruit, please.” Allison’s gaze shifted to Tony, who was leaning a shoulder against the far wall. He looked relaxed, at ease, as if he belonged here. Which he didn’t. “Morning, Tony.”

“Morning.”

Meredith retrieved the juice from the refrigerator and filled three small glasses to the brim.

“Can I help with anything?” Allison asked.

“No, we’ve got it, Mom. Everything’s ready. Sit down and we’ll all eat. I’m starved.”

Tony pushed himself off the wall. “Me too.” He joined them at the table.

“I’ll say the blessing,” Meredith said.

Allison bowed her head and closed her eyes.

“Dear Lord, thank You for bringing us all together this Christmas weekend. Thank You that we can celebrate Your birth. Help us follow Your lead today and tomorrow and every day thereafter. In Your name, we pray. Amen.”

“Amen.”

“Amen.”

Allison looked up and gave Meredith a smile. There were many, many mistakes Allison had made in her life, but there sat living proof she’d done a few things right. Meredith hadn’t lost her faith while in college the way so many young folks did. Instead, it had deepened. Allison liked to think she’d played at least a small part in that.

“Remember when I was little,” Meredith said, “how hard it was for me to wait to open presents until after we ate breakfast?”

“I remember,” Allison and Tony answered in unison.

“I thought you must be the meanest parents in the world, to make me wait like that.”

“Funny,” Tony broke in. “I remember more than one Christmas when your mom and I ate breakfast around four or five in the morning. Just so you could open your presents.”

Meredith laughed. “True. I guess you did at that.”

“I hope we won’t be up that early tomorrow,” he said.

“Oh, Dad, I’m past that phase. I’ll let you sleep in at least until six.”

More laughter filled the room.

What was that phrase people used?
Welcome to the new normal
. That was it. A new normal. Life changed all the time. No matter how hard one tried to keep things the same, one never
succeeded. Children grew up. Jobs got outsourced. Husbands walked out on their wives. Summer became autumn. Autumn became winter. Parents passed away. The Bible said there was an appointed time for everything and a time for every purpose under heaven. There were many new normals to be experienced in life. This was one of Allison’s.

The melody from one of her mother’s favorite songs from the sixties played in her head.
Turn. Turn. Turn
. She smiled at the memory, picturing her mother playing the old vinyl record and singing along to it. Then Allison looked at Tony and Meredith again.

This was still her family, fractured though it was. This was her new normal. There was a time even for this under God’s heaven.

In the afternoon the three of them strapped on snowshoes and traipsed off through the forest. Gizmo got to ride in a pet sling strapped to Allison’s chest.

“Lucky dog,” Meredith said, punctuating her words with a roll of the eyes.

After fifteen minutes of walking, they all needed to stop to peel off one layer of winter attire.

“When was the last time we went snowshoeing?” Tony asked, huffing the question.

“At least a decade.” Allison shook her head. “I’m glad Aunt Emma kept the snowshoes, even if they weren’t being used. They must be forty or fifty years old.”

“Older, I bet.”

They continued on, Meredith leading the way, Allison bringing up the rear. Sunlight filtered through the tall, lodgepole pines and reflected off the snow, blindingly bright. Thank goodness for sunglasses.

Watching the two people ahead of her, the song made famous by the Byrds returned to Allison’s thoughts.
Turn. Turn. Turn
.

Last Christmas she’d been in a pit of despair about her failing marriage, about her life, about her shaky faith. She’d felt a complete failure in every realm. It surprised her to realize how far she’d come since then. It surprised her even more to realize how far she’d come since awakening this morning. What was different? She couldn’t say. But something had changed.

Turn. Turn. Turn
.

Acceptance, perhaps. Maybe a willingness, as they said in recovery programs, to let go and let God.

Aunt Emma had told her once that as long as a person was drawing breath, she could be certain God had a reason for leaving her on earth. Nobody’s life was meaningless. The good Lord had a purpose and a plan for everyone.

On this Christmas Eve, Allison felt herself begin to believe her aunt’s comments.

I’m still drawing breath, Lord. You’ve still got a purpose and a plan for me. Tell Aunt Emma I’m learning that lesson
.

“Come on, Mom.” Meredith’s voice broke through Allison’s musings. “You’re falling behind. Hurry up.”

“I’m coming! Hold your horses.”

Emma

June 9, 1928

Today is our first anniversary. Strange. There are times it feels I’ve been married to Alexander forever, and other times when it seems only yesterday since we were pronounced man and wife.

We are almost happy, I think. Happier than we were when Alexander was in that cast and unable to get around easily. His mood is much improved. He doesn’t seem as angry as before. The house seems more at peace. I don’t think he’s drinking as much as he used to. Sometimes I am hopeful he will learn to love me. Love me the way John loves Liza. And even if not that much, at least enough.

One thing weighs heavy on my heart, however. Alexander goes out every night. His bootlegging business has grown to include a couple of speakeasies. He doesn’t need my help any longer, for which I am grateful. But if he is discovered in his nighttime activities he would go to jail. I would pray for God’s protection, but how can I when what he is doing is against the law? I dare not say anything to him about my fears. He wouldn’t listen, and it would make him angry. I do not want to make him angry again.

Tonight my parents are having us over for dinner in celebration of our anniversary. John and Liza will be there. Alexander does not want to go. He says my parents do not like him. No matter how often I tell him that is not true, he still believes it. He says they compare him to John and they think he comes up wanting.

Perhaps if I could give Alexander a child, he would feel better about himself (and about me). But another month has come around, and I am not pregnant. I want a baby so much. I watch my sister growing larger and larger with her second child. I know she is counting down the weeks until her baby will enter the world. Will it ever happen for me? Or am I barren, like so many of those women in the Old Testament?

Allison

Accepting her new kind of normal, as Allison had on Christmas Eve, did not prepare her for Sunday morning, Christmas Day, when she found herself in church with her ex-husband. It was beyond strange. How should she introduce him to her friends and neighbors? Should she identify Tony as her ex? Should she tell anyone his last name? Or should she simply try to get out of church without speaking to another soul?

She chewed on those questions throughout most of the morning service. And when it was over and the time arrived to make the first introduction, she settled for, “This is my daughter, Meredith, and her father, Tony.” No one batted an eye. If anyone else thought the circumstance strange, they didn’t let on.

The same had been true of Susan when she called to invite Allison and Meredith for Christmas dinner. When she’d learned Tony was also at Allison’s, Susan included him in the invitation. She hadn’t sounded the least surprised. And so they went to the Lyle home after church.

After the introductions were made, Meredith mentioned the nice stables out beyond the backyard and said how much she’d always liked horses. Ned offered to show her their two geldings, and they set off for the barn. Tony tagged along, leaving Allison and Susan in the kitchen.

“You’ve had a good Christmas,” Susan said after the back door closed. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

“I’m glad.” Susan returned to cutting tomatoes for the salad.

“Can I help with something?”

“If you don’t mind, you could set the table.”

“I don’t mind. For how many?”

“This is all of us. I invited Chet and Marsha and the boys, but Marsha said they couldn’t come.”

“They weren’t in church this morning either.” From the end of the counter, Allison picked up the wooden box holding the good silverware and carried it into the formal dining room.

In a voice loud enough for Allison to hear, Susan said, “I’m worried about Marsha. She doesn’t seem able to shake her depression. She’s so withdrawn.”

“I guess you can’t blame her.” Allison moved around the table, placing the silverware on either side of the china plates. “It isn’t natural for children to die before their parents. How does anyone overcome such a loss?”

“I don’t know, apart from by God’s help.”

Allison returned to the kitchen and stopped near the window over the sink. Her gaze went to the stables and to the three people standing in its doorway. “If something ever happened to Meredith, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“It’s every mother’s nightmare. We spend so much time, especially when they are teens, praying they don’t do anything too stupid.”

“Growing up doesn’t mean we stop making stupid mistakes.” Allison turned toward her friend again.

A wry smile curved Susan’s mouth. “No, it sure doesn’t.” She picked up the large salad bowl and carried it to the sideboard in the dining room. Then she went to the back door, opened it, and called out, “Dinner’s ready. Come and get it.”

Ned, Tony, and Meredith returned to the house. Tony washed
his hands in the utility room while Meredith went to the downstairs bath to do the same. Ned went upstairs to use the master bathroom. In short order, they were all gathered in the dining room. The host said grace over the meal, and then the passing of bowls and platters began.

“How much longer will you be working in Boise?” Susan asked Meredith.

“Maybe another two weeks.”

“Your mom’s going to miss you when you go back to Texas.”

“I know. I’m going to miss her too.” Meredith smiled toward Allison. “We’ve had a great time.” She looked at Tony. “Me and Dad too.”

Tony said, “Her mom and I would both like it if she could transfer back to Boise for good.”

“Maybe some day, Dad, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Not if I want to advance in the company.”

And the longer you stay in Texas, the more likely it is you’ll meet someone and get married, and then you’ll never come home to Idaho
.

Almost as if she’d heard Allison’s thought, Meredith glanced toward her again. “We’ll have to wait and see what comes. In today’s economy, who knows what’ll happen next year or the one after that. I consider myself lucky to have a job. Plenty of college grads are selling gas in convenience stores or working at Walmart because they can’t find jobs in their chosen field.”

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine?” Tony said in a teasing voice.

Everyone laughed, and the conversation turned in other directions, moving easily from one topic to another throughout the remainder of the meal.

Allison hated to see their time with the Lyles end. It hadn’t been awkward to be there with Tony, as she’d feared it might be. And, oddly enough, when Meredith and Tony left tomorrow, she
would hate to see them go. Not just Meredith. Tony too. Her feelings had changed from a week ago when she’d allowed Meredith to twist her arm about inviting him to come up for Christmas. She’d dreaded his coming, but her worry had been for nothing.

Was that because he’d been sober throughout the visit? Or was it because something had changed inside of her? Perhaps the answer was a little of both.

She felt a twinge in her heart, the familiar pain that said she’d lost what she’d most wanted. She would be wise to remember this Tony wasn’t the same man who’d walked out on her and remember that the old Tony could return at any time. It was a truth she’d learned from bitter experience.

Allison

The week between Christmas and New Year’s was a busy one for Allison. She used it to catch up on all of her business and personal bookkeeping. She cleaned out file drawers, both physical and electronic. She shredded private documents. Inactive but potentially important files were moved to plastic storage boxes and taken up to the attic.

Note to self: Buy a better scanner and try to go paperless in the New Year
.