Authors: Thomas Rath
Thane’s brow creased as he thought upon what Dor had offered. “It might work,” he finally said, “but we will need to be certain that your father and mother do not inadvertently raise an alarm.”
“What do you mean by that?” Tam asked.
Thane stared at her for a long moment giving her the uncomfortable feeling that he was judging her, as if trying to decide if she could cope with his reply. She glared defiantly back as if challenging him with her resolve to see the mission through. “They’ll have to be held and gagged.”
Tam brought her hand to her mouth. “You can’t mean that,” she protested, her determination crumbling instantly.
“I agree with Tam,” Jne stated. “To bind ones enemy and not allow him to fight is a great dishonor to self.”
Thane sighed. “It does not break with honor,” he argued. “They are not our enemy, and it is necessary to keep all safe from unnecessary harm. There is no other way to follow such a plan and get us all in the village safely.”
Jne made to dispute his logic but Dor cut her off. “I’ll go in alone.”
“Dor,” Thane protested, but his friend continued over him.
“You three can hide in the forest, close to the mountains while I go to my parent’s hut. No one need know I have come save them. I know the patrol routes and how to slip past them; you know that, Thane. We’ve been slipping past the patrols almost since we could walk.”
“And how do you think they will react when you suddenly walk into their hut?”
“It does not matter,” Dor replied. “Once they see that I have returned I can follow through with the rest of the plan.”
“It’s too risky,” Tam added. “With your hair cut like it is, they may not recognize you quick enough. There could be trouble. It would be better for me to go.”
Thane opened his mouth to say something but Tam snapped at him, her anger rising quickly. “Do not try to tell me it is too dangerous and that I should not go. You both know that I am right!”
Thane gave Dor a quizzical look before turning back to her. “I was not going to fight you, Tam. I was going to agree with you. You, of all of us, are the most likely to cause the least amount of upheaval, at least in any negative way. And we can easily get you past any patrols. It should be you.”
Both Dor and Tam stared at him with open mouths, neither willing to accept what they had just heard.
“Then we are decided,” Jne suddenly announced, as if to halt any further argument.
The conversation turned away from their plans and instead skipped down the corridors of memories shared by the three Chufa and the years they grew up together in the Ardath. It was a welcome departure from the hard truths that overshadowed them and the uncertainty of the outcome of their mission. Soon, Dor and Thane had them all laughing out loud at the pranks and trouble they had found as children. Even Jne found humor in their childhood high jinks.
Though the dark mood that had permeated the group was lifted for a brief period, when the rocs returned to reclaim their charges Jne and Dor both eyed the birds with a certain amount of distaste. Jne especially glared at them as if finding fault in their very existence, hating that their desperation at having to use the rocs was tarnishing her honor. Tam and Thane happily regained their seats, anxious for their renewed communion with the ArVen. Thane wondered what situations would give him the same feeling with his other Tane.
Night was beginning to blanket the land when the rocs descended on the foremost roots of the Dedrik Forest. Both Thane and Dor had quick flashes of memory from their first visit here and both shared a quick nod of understanding. Without a word to the others, Thane searched out a spot by himself where he could sit and concentrate on the surrounding area. Calming his mind he pressed all thoughts into the inner niches of his mind and then willed his senses forward and out. He suddenly become aware of every minute aspect that made the forest the living, breathing creature it was. Penetrating deeper he found nothing that felt odd or ill at ease. The forest seemed to sing in joyful greeting inviting him to enter its confines and rejoice with it in intimate unity. It called out to him beckoning him down its paths, begging him to delve deeper toward its heart where peace and solitude were found and promised. He basked in the forest’s touch and caress. It remembered him.
Reluctantly, he retracted himself and turned his attention outward from the trees and past his friends to the surrounding plains. He sensed every movement, from the smallest beetle digging in the dirt, to the mouse shivering in fright as it desperately tried to hide from the searching eyes of a nearby snake, to his extraordinarily disruptive friends who crashed about as they set up camp. He caught the secretive glances shared between Dor and Tam as they traded stares when each felt the other was not looking. He felt the warmth and bond that beat in their hearts as if in unison, washing over him with the obvious love they shared for one another. And he could feel the steel covered velvet that was Jne.
There was no other way to describe her. She was battle and honor hardened like the toughest and sharpest metal, yet, she could not completely hide the tenderness that was also such a part of her. He had seen it before they left Calandra and now he allowed himself to explore it even deeper. A part of him balked at what he was doing, feeling shame for invading her most private parts hidden behind the walls she had so carefully constructed to protect herself, but he soothed his conscience with the fact that she had just recently shared those places with him. He turned his gaze on her as his senses delved past the steel to the soft core that was Jne. She suddenly turned to look at him as if sensing him there. He immediately pulled back as if he’d been caught doing something wrong but then felt her pulling him closer again. Though he really didn’t think she shared the same abilities he was using, something in her called to him, welcoming him, inviting him to explore every hidden corridor, every nuance, every substance that made her who and what she was. Thane suddenly felt encompassed about by warmth and belonging that refreshed him like sipping from the purest pool of new spring water. And then she shared with him one of her rarest smiles and, though still at a distance, he felt his breath catch as it washed over him, the beat of her heart suddenly matching that of his own and a rush of emotions cascaded over him like the plucking of a warm, tender wind. He felt whole.
Reluctantly, he gently pulled away, fearful that if he did not, all sense of duty and resolve to their mission would be siphoned away in the sudden rush of emotion filling him. Left to himself he suddenly felt empty—like part of him was missing. Jne held her smile for a brief moment longer before letting it go back behind the steel that protected it.
Though Thane had scouted the area and found no threat, out of habit, they still took turns keeping watch through the night. The rocs left again, most likely to find a perching place, while the four friends bedded down by the fire they agreed was safe enough to light. The following day still found Dor and Jne reluctant to mount the giant birds though Jne did chance a peek or two at the scenery such heights afforded and found the fear that had seized her lessoning its hold, but just slightly. Thane and Tam still gloried in every moment such altitude gave them with the ArVen, feeling for the first time that the Tane was a living power, an entity that was to be cherished more than controlled.
By day’s end, even Thane and Tam felt a sense of gratitude when they finally descended on the deserted fortress of Hell’s End Station. Though Dor still fought the rising mixture of loathing and dread at returning to the place where he’d been caged, he also felt relieved to once again put tired legs on solid ground. Rubbing life back into their limbs no one made an attempt to open the closed gates that were once the border protection between the outlying area and the troll infested Shadow Mountains. There was nothing within the fortress gates that any cared to seek out or investigate. None of the Chufa spoke much, all deeply involved in their own thoughts as the knowledge that the next evening would find them over the Shadow Mountains and back home weighed on each to a different degree.
Thane, of course most dreaded the idea of returning though he was anxious to see his mother once more and assure her that he was well. Dor and Tam, on the other hand, both fought mixtures of joy and uncertainty. Though they had not been away from home very long, the reality of what they had faced and what still lay ahead made them restless. Yet, to be home among family was something that pulled at them unceasingly.
Jne took the first watch moving just out of the immediate light cast by the small fire. The three Chufa curled up in blankets welcoming the fire’s warmth to beat back some of the cool night air that was somewhat unseasonable in its chill. Few stars were visible as dark clouds blew in overhead though Thane and Tam assured them that there would be no rain this night. Soon a rumbling sound like distant thunder was heard that drew Jne’s gaze skyward until she realized the sound was coming from Dor who wasted no time in falling deep into slumber.Tam also found the pathway to sleep an easy one to follow but Thane was not so fortunate. He couldn’t settle the racing thoughts that bombarded his mind as he contemplated his return to the Ardath and the people who mistrusted and even hated him. A feeling of dread and ill constantly pressed itself against his thoughts to the point that he was beginning to doubt the wisdom in what they were trying to accomplish. He fought back with the conviction that they had to try. Though it was slight that Dax’s arrow would cause a turning point in the war, and even slighter that the Chufa protector would part with the prized artifact, it was still important enough to give it all their effort. And though he did not want to entertain such thoughts, it could be the last time any of them saw their home again; certainly that was the case for him. He knew his return would not be met with favor.
He finally gave in to the obvious and rose from his bedroll. Quickly finding Jne with his night eyes he went to her and demanded she sleep while he took the first watch. But typical of the Tjal-Dihn women, she resisted him. “I am not ready for sleep,” she said dryly, “nor will I surrender my responsibility so quickly. Why do you so suddenly desire the watch?” she asked as he sat down beside her.
“Sleep flees from me even as I attempt to overtake it,” he sighed. “I will not find rest this night.”
Jne nodded her understanding. “It is like the ferment that overtakes the warrior just before battle.”
Thane absorbed her words, at first wanting to reject them, but finally realizing, as was archetypical, that what she spoke was truth. That was exactly what he was feeling. It was as if he was preparing for battle, but these were his people. Though he had never been accepted by his own he felt that he should at least feel the smallest bit of joy, or even melancholy, at the prospect of returning home. Instead, he was tensing for war.
“Do not berate yourself for what you are feeling,” Jne suddenly offered as if reading his thoughts. “You
are
going into battle. And though you may not draw weapons in this fight, it is nonetheless full combat.”
He stared at her, letting her words fill him, comforting his doubts. “You amaze me.”
She started at his words as if he’d caught her unaware.
He ignored her reaction, though it certainly struck him as out of place. “Everything before you is certain. There is no middle position or indecision. How do you do it?”
Jne, having regained her composure, stared at him as she once had when he first fell into her company and she felt he was being childish. “I am Tjal, as are you, though you refuse to completely embrace your heritage. Until you let go of everything that is not Thane, you will never see clearly and will always suffer doubt. That is true honor. I have seen it in you but you still test it. You cloud your vision with hesitation. You are no longer Chufa. You may not even truly be Tjal.” Jne’s head and voice seemed to drop slightly with her last words but her voice quickly regained its strength as she continued. “You are a race unto yourself, Thane. And as such, you are the only one to decide what it truly means to be Thane, what it is your race will embrace. Only then will you see straight and no longer know uncertainty in what you do.”
His eyes traced the contours of her face as his heart and mind embraced her words finding comfort and strength in their telling. The idea that he was not Chufa was something that felt foreign but at the same moment seemed to ring with truth. His birthright was Chufa but when he thought of what the Chufa had become and what they now had devolved to he realized that what Jne revealed was truer than anything else. He was not one of them. He had always begrudged the idea but now looking at them from the outside, he realized that he did not want to be as they now were. His people were fallen. They no longer embraced what it truly meant to be Chufa, what it was to be honorable and true. The nobility of their race had been snuffed out and he no longer felt at home with them.
For the first time he felt gratitude toward PocMar for leaving him in the mountains to die. It was his act that had freed him from the bounds that had been placed on him since birth. Suddenly he felt the last pieces filling in the broken life he’d been leading. Embracing forgiveness and letting go of his anger, his hatred and doubt, he finally felt whole and free. And as Jne had promised, his vision became clear. And though his physical appearance and gifts named him Chufa, his clothing and weapons placed him as Tjal, and his purpose named him HuMan, he was none—yet he was all. He was Thane.
The following day found them high above the Shadow Mountains as their mounts carried them ever closer to the Ardath and the Chufa. The nervous excitement was obvious in Tam and Dor, though Dor tried his best to hide it. Thane was happy that his friends were going home. If it were up to him he would leave them there to enjoy each other and their families until the end but he no longer felt he could make such a decision for them. He may try to convince them of reason but in the end he knew they would make their own choice and he feared that it was with him that they would decide to place their lives.