A Rancher's Desire (12 page)

The kiss ended when the need for air won out. Panting against her throat, Julian kept his hips at the same pace, listening to each one of her moans.

“Jesus...Julian...Oh God...”

“Love you...so much...” He whispered against her ear.

“Love…you…too…”

He sucked a nipple into his mouth and she cried out louder. Letting it go, he found her lips again, trying to say with his body what he couldn’t completely get her to understand with words.

Pushing her leg higher, he thrust harder, focusing on the sound of their flesh meeting. She felt so good, responded to his touch so well.  Aiyanna was his everything. Waking up without her or going to sleep without her just wasn’t ingrained in him anymore. Even on the nights he wasn’t supposed to see her because of work, Julian found himself unable to stay away. He
needed
her.

He moved against her faster, determined to wear her out, make her feel like she couldn’t move for the rest of the night.  She chanted his name, threw her hips back at him, made him see stars for a moment when he went deep and she squeezed around him.

“I. Love. You.” Julian panted again and on his last thrust she came, screaming, and he followed her over the edge.

Pulling back, he tried to draw in a normal breath. “Aiyanna—”

“Hush.” She placed a finger over his lips, a silly little smile in place. “Don’t ruin the afterglow.”

Laughing, he picked his woman up and headed for the stairs. “I guess I should find the syrup, huh?”

Aiyanna groaned. “I
told
you we were gonna end up with waffles.”

Julian’s grin spread. “Oh,
Hermosa,
who said
anything
about waffles?”

She giggled all the way up to the bedroom.

Chapter Eleven

Life was funny sometimes. Of all the places Aiyanna had expected to end up today, on her parents’ front porch wasn’t one of them. But something was wrong at home; wrong between her and Julian. He did everything he could to please her but it wasn’t because she needed it, it was because
he
did. The same need for validation fueled his every move until it felt like he was
smothering
her.

Aiyanna loved him,
adored
him, but he was driving her bat-shit crazy. The problem was she had no idea how to tell him she needed some breathing space without him seeing it as a complete rejection. The last thing Aiyanna wanted Julian to think was that something was wrong with him.  She was damned if she said something and damned if she didn’t. 

 Aiyanna looked up when the screen door on the porch slowly opened and her mother poked her head out. “A.J.?” Evelyn frowned. “What’re you doing sitting out here?”

Snorting, she retorted, “I wish I knew the answer to that.”

Evelyn opened the door wider. “Come on.”

A half an hour later, Aiyanna was finish spilling her guts. Evelyn didn’t speak for a long time. She simply blew out a breath and sat back in her chair. When she finally did talk, her voice shook. “Alyss and I sound a lot alike.”

Aiyanna opened her mouth to respond but Evelyn raised a hand. “No, we do. Cold and virtually unfeeling.”

“Mama—”

Evelyn shook her head. “No. Right now I want you to listen okay?”

She simply nodded.

Her mother stared off at something only she could see. “You were right when you said I had a skewered view of the world.” She looked back at Aiyanna. “That lovely skewered view came from your Nana. She hated everything about me. My skin was too dark, my hair wasn’t straight enough, my eyes weren’t light enough and I just simply wasn’t the vision she had in her head of her daughter.” Evelyn took a deep breath but Aiyanna still caught the small shudder that racked her as she exhaled. “I…um…I spent my childhood trying so hard to be everything she ever wanted from me and I was
miserable.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Do you know the first rebellious thing I did was date your Daddy?”

She laughed at Aiyanna’s look of surprise. “Yeah, Hassun was a
bad boy.
Leather jackets and motorcycles made up his daily wardrobe, sweetheart. Your Nana
hated
him. But not because of his heritage or his image, but because he saw straight through my debutante act and laid me bare. That man took one look at me and
knew
who I was. The final straw was our eloping.”

Aiyanna shook her head. “Wait…what? Eloped? You and Daddy got married in a church. I saw the pictures.”

“No, baby, what you saw was the wedding he knew I dreamed of
after
he got his business up and going. We eloped at nineteen and struggled on until we busted our glass ceilings.” Evelyn snorted. “Once I had you and Elan, for some reason, I thought you were my chance to redeem my sins in your grandmother’s eyes and it spiraled from there.” She held Aiyanna’s gaze. “I need you to know that there was
never
a damn thing wrong with you and there isn’t now. I thought there was something wrong with
me
because I didn’t mold like my mother wanted me to so I tried to make you a bridge to something that couldn’t be fixed.” When Evelyn reached across the table to link their fingers, Aiyanna felt a lump swell in her throat.

“I brag about you,
all the time.
While other mothers are singing the woes of their little girls and how they’re going through a divorce or can’t stop depending on men or are just extremely sad.
My
daughter built a successful business from the ground up.
My
daughter has
never
needed anyone’s validation but her own.
My
daughter is one of the most amazing women I know and I am
so
very proud of her.” She shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Even if I was never smart enough to show it—
you,
Aiyanna Jordyn are
perfect
in every way. I was sincerely blessed with you and your brother because despite my insanity you turned out to be
extraordinary.”

Aiyanna swallowed, tried to find the words to respond but simply couldn’t. What was she supposed to say to that? After almost thirty-two years she was finally getting what she’d wanted so damn bad all of her life—her mother’s acceptance. And after that, there were no words.

Evelyn scooted her chair back and stood. “Can you give me something please?”

Looking up at her, Aiyanna asked, “What?”

“The ability to hug my daughter again without her feeling like she wants to choke—” Evelyn didn’t get to finish the sentence before Aiyanna was up and in her arms. They held each other as tight as possible and damned if it didn’t feel good.

“Mommy?”

“Hmm?”

“What do I do about Julian?”

Evelyn pulled back and brushed Aiyanna’s bangs from her eyes. “You love him.”

“I already do that.”

Her mother shook her head. “No, baby, I mean you
love
him. You were smart enough to know that you’re so much better than what I used to say but Julian is the other side of the spectrum. He loves you so much that he’s afraid he’s going to lose you so you need to show him that won’t
ever
happen.”

“How do I do that?”

Evelyn took her hand and led her from the kitchen. “We have some planning to do, baby girl.”

Chapter Twelve

Something was wrong. He could tell. And Julian had the feeling that something was him. From the night before when Aiyanna had finally gotten home, something that was still unofficially decided in terms of her moving in, she’d been quiet and pensive. Nothing else had changed, she just seemed lost in her thoughts. Kind of the way he was now as he leaned against the side of his horse stables and watched some of the hands mill about.

Julian didn’t look up until he heard a truck coming up the driveway. The sight of Havan stepping out dressed in a suit gave him serious pause. What made him laugh was the black Stetson that completed his brother’s appearance. Julian would guess that the hat was the only thing tolerable about his style of dress.

The scowl on Havan’s face spoke volumes. Julian didn’t get a word out before his brother was marching over to him and grabbing the front of his t-shirt.

“I want you to listen very closely,” Havan said slowly. “If you weren’t my brother, I would put my size fifteen in your ass simply because it is your fault that I’m dressed this way.
Your
woman—”

Julian’s brows winged. “
My
woman?”

“
Your
woman batted those got-damned eyes at me and I melted like chocolate on the sidewalk in the middle of summer.” He began to walk towards the house, pulling Julian along. “And now you’re going to carry your ass inside, take a shower, shave, and put on something presentable.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Julian stopped walking. “Why am I doing this?”

Havan turned around. “Because jackass, if you don’t I will sit on your fucking head.”

“
Okay
then.” Julian waved a hand. “Lead the way.”

An hour later Havan was shoving Julian into the passenger side door and telling him to just, “Shut up and enjoy the ride.”

Before he knew it, they were entering the higher end of Albemarle County pulling into the driveway of one of the most immaculate houses he’d ever seen. Julian’s heart thumped hard in his chest as he finally realized that he’d seen this house before. In pictures.
Aiyanna’s
pictures.

He gripped his brother’s shoulder before he could leave the truck. “Havan—”

Havan shook his head. “Just trust her okay?”

Nodding, he climbed out and headed up the cobblestone walkway. Julian was just a few feet away from the double doors when the right one swung open, revealing a grinning Lalani.

She whistled low. “Damned if you don’t clean up well, cowboy.”

Havan’s shoulder slammed into Julian’s almost knocking him off the porch just so the big idiot could stand in front of her. “What about me?”

Julian decided it was best
not
to laugh in Havan’s face when Lalani gave him a once over and then a simple shrug, stating, “You look okay.” With that, she grabbed Julian’s hand and pulled him through the door.

“Lalani—”

“No, I’m not telling you what she has planned.”

His brother snorted behind him and Julian sighed but continued to follow. By the time they reached the patio door he was so nervous that it felt like someone kept stopping and starting his heart.

Lalani stopped and looked at him. Squeezing his hand, she simply said, “Trust her, okay?”

Julian frowned. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

Havan popped him in the back of the head. “Don’t question, just do it.”

“Mommy I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.”

Aiyanna shook her head, wringing her hands. “No, I can’t. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Evelyn snorted. “You’re going to be
just
fine.”

“What if he says no?”

“Then,” John said as he and Dastan came and both wrapped an arm around her. “
We’ll
take him out front and beat him until he says ‘yes.’”

That finally pulled a smile out of her. “I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Daddy and Elan. No physical assaults on Julian.”

John stomped his foot. “You’re ruining our lives.”

“Um…I think Julian’s going to
take
your lives if you don’t stop touching his woman,” Evelyn whispered, gesturing over Aiyanna’s shoulder.

Turning slowly as quiet fell over the backyard, she took a deep breath when her gaze finally connected with his. He was scowling but she was used to that look by now. Julian took tentative steps down the patio and toward her, his gaze bouncing between Aiyanna and their mix of family and friends.

She’d spent the day setting up paper lanterns and nicely set tables along with preparing food, hoping that this would turn into a celebration
very
soon.

Julian’s smile looked nervous and shaky. “
Hermosa…
what is all of this?” He waved a hand around as everyone stood in various spots, focusing in on them.

Aiyanna exhaled and held out a hand. He took it without hesitation. “
This
is actions speaking louder than words.”