A Reluctant Queen (36 page)
The pearls in her hair and on her robe shimmered, making it seem that she moved in a circle of luminous radiance. Still she walked on, slowly, gracefully, her back straight, her hands hanging loosely at her sides. Ahasuerus didn’t move but she could see the grim set of his lips, the tightening of the skin across his cheekbones. He lifted the scepter in his hand to extend it toward her and, looking at him, she knew that he was angry.
Suddenly his face began to blur and go out of focus. She blinked, trying to clear her vision. Dots began to dance before her eyes and her skin felt cold and clammy. She shook her head, with all its shimmering pearls, trying to clear it.
“My lady!” Luara ran forward to grab Esther’s elbow to support her. Her knees buckled and she felt herself beginning to sway.
Stupid!
she scolded herself, blinking furiously over and over.
You can’t faint now
. She swayed dangerously and thought in panic,
I’m going down!
Then strong arms caught her and lifted her up. Her head fell onto a familiar, beloved shoulder and she closed her eyes tightly. She felt him walking with her and heard his voice say, “Pull those curtains closed, Hathach, and bring me some water.” Then she was being lowered into a chair.
“Esther!” He sounded worried. “Are you all right?”
She opened her eyes. He was sitting on his heels in front of her and the taut, angry expression was gone. When he saw that her eyes were open he ordered, “Put your head down, Esther. You will feel better more quickly that way.”
She obeyed.
“Breathe slowly and deeply,” he said.
She breathed slowly and deeply.
“Here, my lord,” came Hathach’s voice. “Water.”
“Drink some of this,” Ahasuerus said. And Esther lifted her head and let him hold the golden cup to her lips. She swallowed.
“I am sorry, my lord,” she whispered. “It was important that I see you and I did not know how else to do it.”
“What could possibly be so urgent that you felt you had to create a public spectacle?” he asked.
She looked at the mixture of concern and bewilderment on his face and thought wildly,
I can’t tell him now—he is in the midst of a religious banquet. I cannot tell him such dreadful news and then expect him to be able to fulfill his religious duties. I am going to destroy enough in his life as it is
.
She replied in a low voice, “I will not keep you from your banquet, my lord, but if you will come to me tomorrow, as soon as you return from the mountains, I will tell you then.” She leaned toward him. “It is important that I see you, my lord. Please don’t go hunting. Come back to the palace so we may speak.”
His eyes narrowed a little. “Why can’t you tell me now?”
She shook her head. “It is a long story and I do not want to keep you from your religious duties, my lord. But I must speak to you tomorrow! As soon as you return! Can you do that?”
“You are making no sense,” he said impatiently.
“I know, but I will make sense tomorrow, I promise you.”
He blew an impatient breath out through his nostrils. “All right. I will return to the palace when the ritual is finished.”
She drew a long, shaky breath. “Please bring Haman with you, my lord.”
He frowned, clearly irritated by her reluctance to speak, but then he glanced at the drawn curtain. He stood up, rising easily from his heels. “If that is what you wish. You are right, I must get back to the banquet.”
“I am feeling better now.” She bit her lip and looked wildly around the small curtained enclosure that was screening her from the Service Court. “My lord, how am I going to get out of here?”
The grim look reappeared around his mouth. “Send your maid to get a veil.”
“I have one here, my lord,” Luara said.
“Put it on the queen.” As Luara did as he instructed, Ahasuerus turned to Hathach. “Take the queen back to her apartments by way of the Apanada. That way you will not have to pass through the Service Court again.” The look he gave Hathach was not friendly. “You have made enough of a sensation for one day, I think.”
The young eunuch said respectfully, “Yes, my lord.” He did not apologize.
“I am ready,” Esther said.
Ahasuerus stared at his wife, whose face was now properly hidden. “You are quite certain you don’t want to tell me now what this is all about?”
“I think it will be better if I tell you tomorrow, when you will have the time to consider what is to be done. But you must come tomorrow, my lord!” Her voice was full of urgency.
“I will come the moment I return from the sacred spring,” he said. The grim look was back around his mouth.
She looked at him imploringly.
“And I will bring Haman.”
“Thank you, my lord,” she whispered.
“If you are indeed ready, my lady, then we will go.” Hathach’s voice as he spoke to Esther was gentle and the king shot him a quick, speculative look.
“Take my arm,” Luara said, using the same tone of voice as Hathach.
“Put her to bed,” Ahasuerus said abruptly. “She needs to rest.”
Luara looked directly at him, something servants were never supposed to do. “Do not worry, my lord. I will take good care of her.”
He nodded and turned to go back into the banquet.
T
he scaffold was ready. The Egyptians had begun work on it Thursday evening, immediately after the king had left the palace banquet to go out to Ahuramazda’s sacred spring in the mountains. Now Haman stood in the first light of morning regarding the huge, grim structure with satisfaction. The Egyptians had built it according to his instructions, and it was twice as high as the scaffolds commonly used to execute convicted thieves. Haman had ordered it to be erected just outside the walls of Susa, in close enough proximity to the palace to make it easy to transport Mordecai quickly from his trial to his place of execution, but high enough so all in the city could see what happened to a thieving Jew.
When Haman arrived at the palace, he went immediately to his office to gather together the evidence that he would produce against Mordecai. The trial and execution must take place this morning, while Ahasuerus was still in the mountains.
Haman’s activity was interrupted by a visitor, one of the lesser members of the Royal Kin, who was bursting with the news of Esther’s sensational entrance into last night’s banquet. Haman, who did not worship Ahuramazda, had not been there. As the young man recounted his story, Haman listened in stunned silence. When his informant finally ran out of scandalous details, Haman asked in horror, “But why would the queen do such an outrageous thing?”
The young man shrugged. “The king did not say, and, of course, no one would dare to ask him. He spoke to her in private for a few minutes and then he returned to the banquet as if nothing had happened.”
Haman felt the first stirrings of uneasiness. “And no one has any idea what was said between them?”
“You know Ahasuerus,” came the breezy reply. “He keeps his own council, as usual.”
“And there was no message to me before he left the palace?” Haman asked anxiously.
“None, my lord.”
As soon as his informant had left, Haman picked up his copy of the decree against the Jews and read it through. His scalp prickled as his eyes moved across the words. Ahasuerus could be back in Susa by this evening if he did not go hunting. What would he say when he saw what Haman had done in his name?
Perhaps I was overzealous
, Haman thought.
Perhaps I should have been content with the life of Mordecai
.
With crystal clearness, he saw in his mind’s eye the face of the king.
I did it for you
, he thought.
I did it to save you from the clutches of an evil people
.
But for the first time, this rationalization rang hollow in his ears.
It is the king’s fault that I was driven to this
, he told himself next.
If Ahasuerus had not let himself fall under the sway of Mordecai . . . if he had paid more attention to me
. . .
Sweat broke out on Haman’s forehead. He shut his eyes and rubbed them with his long bony fingers. With Ahasuerus so close, the jealous mist that had obscured Haman’s vision was beginning to lift, and he was frightened by what he saw.
Mordecai was frightened also, but unlike Haman, he had no questions about his own righteousness. For five days and five nights, he had been held a prisoner in Haman’s house. He had eaten none of the unclean food he was offered, consenting only to drink the water. He had prayed constantly, not for himself, but for his people, whom death was staring in the face:
O Lord God, almighty King, all things are in Your power. You made heaven and earth and every wonderful thing under the heavens. You are Lord of all, and there is no one who can resist You. Lord God, King, God of Abraham, spare Your people, for our enemies plan our ruin and are bent upon destroying the inheritance that You gave to us. Do not spurn us, whom You redeemed for Yourself out of Egypt. Hear my prayer; have pity on Your people and turn our sorrow into joy; thus we shall live to sing praise to Your name, O Lord. Do not silence those who praise You.
And he prayed also for his niece, Esther, in whose fragile hands lay the fate of an entire people.
Esther slept fitfully that night and woke early to prepare for Ahasuerus’ visit. The first thing she did was send Hathach to see what was happening in regard to Mordecai’s trial. The young man returned with good news.
“There will be no trial, my lady. Sisames told Haman that he would not try Mordecai until he had instructions from the king himself to do so. He said the trial must wait until Ahasuerus’ return.”
A huge weight rolled off Esther’s heart. She had trusted Sisames when he told her he would postpone the trial, but it was a great relief to know that it had actually been done.
“Haman was livid, I hear,” Hathach added. “But with the king so close by, there was nothing he could say that would move the judge.”
Esther said, “Thanks be to God, Mordecai is safe.”
“He is still under guard in Haman’s house, but I don’t think Haman will dare to do anything to harm him now,” Hathach agreed.
“What about Haman? Is he still in the palace?” A crucial part of Esther’s plan was to have Haman present so she could confront him personally with what he had done.
“Yes, my lady. He is in his office. Raging about the Head Judge’s obstinacy, I expect.”
Esther bit her lip. “I hope he does not go home before the king gets here.”
“He rarely leaves the palace before midafternoon, my lady,” Hathach reassured her.
“Good.” Esther turned to Luara. “I want the table in my dining room set for three. The king has promised to return immediately after the ceremonies and he will be hungry.”
While the dining room in the Queen’s Apartment was prepared, Esther dressed in her simplest robe and tunic. She refused all of the jewelry Luara offered. “I don’t need to look like a queen today, my friend. I need to look like a petitioner.”
Finally, after what seemed an eternally long morning, Hathach brought the news that the king had just ridden into the palace courtyard. Esther’s whole body felt rigid with stress.
The time has come. Soon it will be done
.