A Right Brain Mind in a Left Brain World (4 page)

‘Oh, I’m sorry dad. I don’t mean to be rude. I know you mean well and I know you and mum loved Harvey too, it’s just the guilt...’

‘Come on now love, you had no way of knowing Harvey had a brain tumour. You did what you could for him.’

‘Yes I suppose, but he was so young, I never thought he would die. Well...’ I say, ‘so much for cats having nine lives.’

I sat to long in the sun today
Now I'll pay the price
Just so I could look nice
Well I'm looking really sweet
A shade of raspberry red
Now has me tied onto my bed
With my head a pounding
While tummy turns
Oh god how I hate these burns
I plaster on the after sun
But it's sure not fun
In the hope it will keep me cool
But oh boy do I feel such a fool
From now on I'll make it a rule
Never again to want to look so cool

You just end up looking like a raspberry fool

Hello
Can I ask you
When is the right time to say goodbye
When the earth has shattered
and the walls are closing in around you
When silence is deaf and the echo
returns all the harsh words you say
Or is it when life is lived in a bottle
you can't tell which way is up
When you find the nest is empty
and you know longer understand your life here
Or is it one morning when leaving the house
you say goodbye I love you
You stop and think do I do I really love you
When your last breath is upon you and
you look into the eyes of one you have loved forever
No there is never a good time to say goodbye
When it is so much easier to say
Hello

The silence of the night has gone, one so peaceful.
Dawn has broke, the chorus of bird song as I now awake, is blissful to my ears.
So the danger has passed the nightmare no more,
but yet so vivid in my mind.
And now I’m left to wonder, why it is my mind must tell a story in this way.
The way that scares me so, I have trashed about in my bed,
Twisting the cotton sheets to knots, Pil ow’s are thrown to the floor.
The sweet smell of perspiration on my damp body, tells
Once again of the chase I have just recently endured.

Not for the first time I realise, I wonder whom it could be that scares’ me so.

It is like someone has just flicked a switch.
And I know that it is I, who is doing the chasing.
Looking desperately for something I can’t find.

I think to myself now, but whatever could it be, I swear to have everything I want.
But somewhere deep within me, something stirs.
And I know what it is I am chasing.
But I also know it is the one thing I will never find, for now at least.
So I turn over, pull the covers around me, close my eyes again
and drift into a new slumber.

The phone call came today
I just didn't know what to say
The hope I had for you
But there was nothing I could do

One door instead of two

Meant we could not have you
The things I planned to do
The places we could bring you
The planned trip to the zoo

One door instead of two

The songs I'd sing for you
Sweet music we'd make us two
But the phone call said today
There wasn't any way you could stay

One door instead of two

My heart is lost to you
But the rules say it won't do
We tried and failed it's true
Because of one door instead of two

My heart is aching there was anticipation now
there is only deflation

Why is it they move only in one direction
Always following after each
other playing catch up
And yet they never sit together very long
And all the while things are changing
The light from the dark and back again
The recording of events
Aways relating to their movement
They never stop you see
Sometimes we so wish they would
We wish it with all our might
But it’s no use they can’t help it
Even if they wanted to
Then there are times we so wish
They would move on a little faster
But alas they can’t do this either
Even when we are long gone
They will still move in that same circle
I wonder do they ever wish to stop
Do hands of time ever wish to stand still

Throw stones at you at the most in apt moments
We sat and spent some hours
filling in mindless answers
On forms that had the same questions
That were repeated in several different ways
With only one answer to all of them
Yes we would take care of this child
with our life's blood
The same as we would our own
We know there has to be a process
We know what it means to be
entrusted with someone else's child
While it seems a little unfair
I do seriously understand
Privacy is most important of course
The tears are threatening to come now
I hadn't realised I would be so emotional
I mean I didn't even get to meet you
But somehow the love was there
The room was all but ready just waiting
Every item has been installed
Everything a girl could want
You were all we needed
Now we waited but not for long
You weren't coming after all
You see there is a door between us
I am sorry you couldn't come
Maybe we'll try another time
Lets just wait and see it just hurts so much you see
For you and I

Were I a scholar
But then again
I'm not
I'd pen me a fine Piece

Poetry maybe
Or one of those novels
I hear say they cost
But I could do it

Aha but I dare say
I'd have time
But wouldn't it be fine
So if only I were a scholar

I could sit back and see
what the folk think of me
I'd be a grand gent
with money less spent

Oh won't it be grand
If I could just find in hand
But no its not for me
All this scholar larkary

Sure being a loner
Lets me be a mourner
I can crib and can cry
Till the day that I die

Have bed and have board
And never am I bored
So why be a scholar
When I can holler

Or would you rather then
No no I didn't think so !

What is a poet but a pen
A matter of form
A flow of words
A house of structure

Be he noble
Be he rich
Be he poor

What matter he but his pen
A sonnet here a stanza there
Maybe a limerick
The list is endless

Be it clipped
Be it free
Be it all about me
It is the Pen

More mighty then the sword
It has written many treaties
Laid down a law or two
Registered deaths births and marriages
The list is endless
But what is a poet but a pen

A poet loves to love
A death has to be dark
A scenery a thing of beauty
A metaphor of words
Is sometimes for the birds

So yes a poet is a pen
Amenable

Come let me show you that I care
Let me show you how I dare
I wanna be with you
I wanna kiss you to
How have I got you to the end of it
Before you speak I depend on it
Don't you take me for ride
Please I do know and have some pride
So don't stand so close to me
Please don't stand so close I'll see

Why is it your feet want to move
And your body wants to sway
As your hips they want to hop
With your arms up in the air
Your head it rolls from side to side
As your hair it swings in time
You snap your fingers to the beat
Then you clap your hands and stamp your feet
It sounds so very sweet
It's all about moving to the beat
To the rhythm of music sheet
Now as the music begins to fade
You tell the DJ he won't be paid
Until your last requested song is played

I don't want to be anybody
If I were anybody I'd be somebody
And that is not who I am
Or who I want to be
I want to blend in be invisible
Not seen or heard
No definitely not heard
No aura or reflection
No senses or feelings
No cares or worries
I don't want to have to wonder
am I really here

But am I really there !

I took her out today
I thought we needed a change
Maybe try something new
So we went the long way
round to the school
Oh what a beautiful day
You seemed happy slowing down
When we met other's on the road
Letting them pass on a head of us
Yes what was our hurry anyway
We pulled into the school
Under the shade of a big old pine
Oh here come the girls I say
As we head back the girls and I
Talking ninety to the dozen
And you hum away quietly
We stopped outside gates
I was just about to shout my goodbyes
When we all heard the most dreadful noise
I knew it was you even before
I had looked around
Oh my god how could I let this happen
The deep gash wounds
pierced into your side
Are you ok mammy my young daughter asks
No I hear myself whisper
Look what I've done that scar has ruined her.
I say with tears running down my face
Ah come now love my husband says soothing me
Sure it’s nothing a little filler and paint won't fix

Oh well I suppose I sniff

I write this song for you
Because I need to see you smile
I wanna see that frown turn upside-down
So baby let it flow don't you know... I know your heart is breaking
I wanna hear you laugh again... is that a sin
Or even hear you cry
Just let me see some emotion
But I know you miss him so
We miss him too
So baby let it flow don't you know... I know your heart is breaking
But honey you will have to try
Try to get through this
You had something very special... yes we know
But in the end it was time to say goodbye
Lying there day after day
Us never knowing what to say
So baby let it flow don't you know... I know your heart is breaking
He was long gone from this life
But never not from you... no not from you.
He will walk with you each day
He will try and make it ok
If he could he'd take your pain away
But now thats up to you... yes up to you
So baby let it flow don't you know... I know your heart is breaking
I know your heart is breaking
My heart is breaking too... for you

Who is the keeper of the guardian angels
Who keeps they warm and hugs there woes
Who so teaches them right from wrong
And how not to break into song
While caring for their families
Is there a special class at heavens gates
Were Peter says, 'hay I have a place,
just for you mind'
Who is the keeper of the guardian angels
That takes care of my babies seven
Tell them how to behave
How they must be very brave
Who teaches them how to walk beside
And watch over us without a word
I want to Thank him, tell him from me
That I care for his wonderess work
So Well done Angels you have passed your test

'Graduates of Guardian Angel College'

Do you know why
I would rather die
Will I even care
Were you even there
Can you even see
How she plays up to me
Does she really know
Or is that just another go
Have I got a hope
Sometimes it feels like a rope
Are there just the two
He looks up to you
Did he worry for them
Please please tell me when
No now is not the time
And no it's not fine
The lies just have to stop
Or my heart will really pop
I never want to hear
What do you have to fear
It all falls in to place
Yes I know the face

Confessions of two teenagers
Over heard at a coffee house !!!
Does it hurt

Miscarriage one to seven
Appendix removal
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy
DVT
Plaster cast
Paralyses Lower body
Wheelchair
Dystoina
Hysterectomy
Spinal nerve block
Paralyses Right leg left leg
Wheelchair
Bladder Augmentation
Self cathetering
Addison’s disease
Medication Guiney Pig
Spinal vertebrae shrinkage
Paralyses from the neck down
Wheelchair
Walker
Crutches
Fourteen Medications including
A Morphine Patch

Only when I laugh

What do I have to do
to prove it to you
Or what do I have to say
Can't you see just what they've done
What have we become,
just a race, without a face

Cause, I see through you
I see how fake you are
I see through you
I Know the game you play
Cause I see through you
I see through you
I see through you

But not for those in power
They've made it all turn sour
Give us back our pride we don't try to hide
But they take and take and take
Is it just a big mistake.

Cause, I see through you
I see how fake you are
I see through you
I know the game you play
Cause I see through you
I see through you

I see through you

As the banks they squeeze and squeeze
And we just try to please
But it don't help our needs
As they live life, without a care
No No don't they dare
Try and justify, (with) they care

Cause, I see through you
I see how fake you are
I see through you
I know the game you play
Cause I see through you
I see through you
I see through you