Authors: Johanna Lindsey
W
here have you been?!
Rebecca winced at Flora’s screeching tone, even though she had been expecting no less. It had taken so long to rent a coach in Dover and hie it back to London that it was now near dark. But the maid didn’t have to be quite that loud in expressing her relief.
“Not where I wanted to be,” Rebecca replied tiredly, and moved to sit down on the bed.
“Four days have passed!”
“I’m lucky it was only four,” Rebecca grouched. “It’s not exactly easy to catch a ship at a moment’s notice, you know. No, I suppose you wouldn’t know. But let me tell you, I found that out firsthand.”
Flora’s eyes widened. “Just where did you think you were going by ship? And alone? Without me?”
“It wasn’t by choice. The ship sailed while I was telling my husband that marriage to him would be out of the question.”
“So you married him?”
Rebecca blinked now at Flora’s suddenly calm tone. “Why doesn’t that surprise you?”
“Because it was the right thing to do, all things considered.”
Rebecca snorted and, with some of her anger returning, leaped to her feet again. “Not when he didn’t want to marry me. Not when he thinks that I seduced him. Not when he’s so bloody sure that I’m lying about having his baby.”
“Then—how did you end up marrying him anyway?”
“A speck of doubt was how he put it.”
“A speck?” Flora choked out.
“Yes, just a speck.”
“You spent four days with him and didn’t vomit once to prove—”
“Course I did. Every morning.” Rebecca sighed. “But he’s not counting something he thinks I faked. Besides, on board ship, it wasn’t just the morning sickness I was beset with. I’m quite sure the only proof he’ll accept prior to the actual birth is a widened girth. But as it stands, he intends to annul the marriage, since he’s
so
positive I won’t start displaying some proof that I’m pregnant in the expected period of time.”
“Well, too bad for him then, when you do.”
“No, too bad for me. He’s such a rogue, Flora. I can’t believe I was ever attracted to him. Of course he didn’t show his true colors prior to that fateful night. But he certainly showed them when I caught up to him on that ship that sailed before I could get off it. And I was
not
going to marry him and told him so.”
“You sure stuck to your guns!”
“Don’t try to inject humor into this deplorable situation. He threatened to ruin me publicly if I didn’t accept his horrible temporary terms! And he’s ordered me to go into hiding at
home in Norford until he’s satisfied enough time has passed to end this farce of a marriage.”
“What happens when he finds out he can’t end it amicably, but only with a scandalous divorce?”
“Once he sees that I wasn’t lying, he won’t end it a’tall, which is what I’m dreading. That was the only reason he married me, that slim bit of doubt he was having. He stated clearly that he will not let strangers raise
his
child. So I really hope I’m late in showing the proof he wants, so I can get out of this mess before he realizes there really is a baby.”
“I don’t think you’ve thought that through,” Flora said hesitantly.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that I despise him now,” Rebecca insisted.
“I don’t mean
that
. I mean you got what you needed, legitimacy for your child. If you quietly end the marriage so no one even hears about it, you’ll be back where you started, but three or four months too late to do anything other than go away to have your baby in secret, then give the child up.”
Rebecca paled. Why hadn’t that occurred to her? Because she was too busy being furious with Rupert St. John to think beyond getting far away from him?
“I can see you got my point,” Flora added with a satisfied nod.
“This is—intolerable. I can’t bear the thought of being tied to him for—”
“Oh, stop it,” Flora cut in sternly. “Do you really think he’s going to continue being so despicable to you after he knows his silly conclusions are all wrong? He’ll more likely go out of his way to be as charming as you could ever want, to make it up to you.”
Rebecca snorted. “No, he’ll just find some other reason to despise me. Don’t forget, he claims I seduced him, that this is all my fault!”
“Did you?” Flora asked baldly. At Rebecca’s glare, the maid amended in a conciliatory tone, “No, of course not. Can’t imagine what I was thinking. But it makes you wonder how many times women have tried to trap him into marriage, for him to distrust the truth when it’s right in front of him.”
“Do
not
make excuses for him, Flora. And I’ve spent nearly four horrid days with the man, so I’d rather not talk about him anymore.”
Flora nodded in agreement and picked up the book she had been reading. “How long has my mother been frantic over my disappearance?” Rebecca asked anxiously.
Flora’s expression turned immediately sympathetic. “I waited as long as my nerves could bear to send word to her that you were missing. I kept praying you’d return at any moment. But after two days
and
nights and still no word from you, I couldn’t wait any longer. And now another day has passed and the man John Keets found to deliver the message hasn’t even returned yet. But I don’t doubt he succeeded. I thought Lilly would be here last night, so I can’t imagine what’s delaying her. I expect her to arrive at any moment, though.”
Rebecca sighed. She should be grateful that Lilly hadn’t been worrying as long as she’d feared, but now she was worried about what was delaying her mother’s arrival. And she didn’t know whether she should stay at the palace and wait for her mother to arrive or try to find Lilly along the road on the way home. She might miss her in that case, since it was already getting dark. Besides, without her own coach and driver, she’d have to hire a hack, and it was doubtful she’d find one willing to drive her all the way to Norford at night.
“I suppose I will have to spend one more night here,” Rebecca said. “But you can have my trunks brought up and I’ll help you pack them so you can have time to pack up your flat before it gets too late tonight.”
“We leave tomorrow?”
“Yes, first thing in the morning. If I could get us transportation tonight, I would.”
“John can probably help with that if you want to leave now.”
“But what if Mama arrives after we leave?”
“John can watch for her, too, and let her know you’re safe and sound,” Flora said. “That’s going to be her main concern. She doesn’t need to actually see you to be assured that you’re fine.”
“Poor Mr. Keets. We have quite taken advantage of his friendliness. I’ll have to think of a way to compensate him for all his help.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Flora said with a blush.
“Oh,” Rebecca replied, understanding perfectly, and only a
little
uncomfortable with the subject of Flora’s many lovers, now that she’d had her own fall from grace. “Hmm, well, I hope you’re not going to miss him too terribly when we’re back at home.”
Flora grinned. “He promised to visit—often.”
“Very well then, we can even send someone back for our belongings, I suppose, if he can find us a coach tonight. I will need to explain my absence these past few days to Lady Sarah, though, and let her know why I’m leaving my position as maid of honor. I’ll go and do that now.”
“You’re going to tell her the truth then?” Flora asked in surprise.
“Goodness, no. That knowledge we will keep to ourselves.
But I have a ready excuse for Sarah. Her intrigues, can’t bear to watch them anymore, et cetera. I’ll even tell her that I went home these last few days to convince Mama of my desire to relinquish this post for good.”
“You’re going to do what?” Lilly Marshall said from the doorway.
L
ILLY LOOKED WONDERFUL, BUT
then she always did in the colder months when her cheeks retained a rosy glow from her daily rides. Rebecca, an excellent horsewoman, had learned from her mother and had always ridden with her early in the mornings before her classes began. She’d missed that in London. She’d missed her mother, too, terribly. Nearly two months without a visit!
“Don’t tell me that I’ve bought a town house here in London for nothing,” Lilly said as she entered the room and gave Rebecca a long, tight hug. “Though I suppose we can still make use of it with the winter Season soon upon us. How are you, darling? You look a little pallid. You haven’t been sick, have you? Is that why you want to come home?”
Rebecca barely managed to keep her mouth from dropping open. Obviously, her mother didn’t even know of her four-day absence. Which meant Lilly hadn’t been anguished and worried, and Rebecca had agonized over that for nothing. And her mother as she walked in probably hadn’t even heard more than
the last few words Rebecca had been saying. That meant Rebecca could break the news to her gently….
“She’s married, she’s having a baby, and she’ll tell you all about it on the way home.”
“Flora!” Rebecca exclaimed.
But Lilly admonished the maid with a stern look. “You’ve always had a rather tasteless sense of humor, Flora. But those aren’t subjects to joke about.”
Rebecca quickly tried to change the subject. “When did you decide to buy a house in town? You didn’t mention it in your letters.”
“I wanted to surprise you. I even came to London two days ago to finish the purchase, but there were some delays. Still wanting to make it a surprise, I resisted visiting you until the papers were signed, which didn’t happen until about an hour ago. That was difficult, worse than being at home and missing you,” Lilly added with a chuckle.
“I wasn’t joking,” Flora interjected with a mumble from across the room.
Both Marshall ladies glared at the maid now, then ignored her again. Rebecca reminded her mother, “But you said you weren’t going to actually buy a house here.”
“I know, I was determined not to. I had to cut the strings, as it were, since I knew that you’d probably never live at home again, at least not for any length of time. But I finally couldn’t stand it any longer! So no matter where you end up living once you are married, we will not be so far away from each other again.”
“I wasn’t joking,” the maid mumbled again.
“Flora, stop it,
please,
” Rebecca said this time.
Unfortunately, a little too much angst was in her tone for
Lilly not to take notice. Her mother frowned in concern. “Is there something I should know about?” Lilly asked her directly.
Rebecca couldn’t get the words out, could only stare at her mother. Her nervous stomach was back in spades.
“I’m only trying to keep you from getting all edgy about it again,” Flora said as blithely as you please. “You don’t need any more upset like that adding to your morning sickness. You’ve had far too much already.”
Lilly wasn’t stupid, and she was far too good with numbers not to add some up now and conclude in a hurt tone, “You got married the same week you arrived here? And didn’t tell me or invite me to the wedding?”
Rebecca quickly assured her, “It wasn’t like that, Mama. I just got married this morning out in the Channel as we were returning from France.”
“France?!”
Rebecca winced. “You could say it was a wedding trip—of sorts.”
But the rest was adding up now in Lilly’s mind and she said, “Oh, good God, I need to sit down.” But she didn’t, she was still standing there in shock when she added, “Who is he?”
“Rupert St. John.”
“Isn’t he—oh, my, that handsome boy of Julie’s? Well,
that
explains a bit, I suppose. He always did dazzle you whenever you saw him, didn’t he?”
“Yes, until I got to know him,” Rebecca replied, then wished she’d kept that grumble to herself.
Up went Lilly’s brow. “Something else is wrong aside from the fact that you had to get married?”
“I suppose that the bride and groom hate each other could be considered a little something else,” Flora said.
This time Lilly sat down. She started to say something, but changed her mind. She opened her mouth to start again, but again snapped it shut. Finally she burst out, “This sort of thing was never supposed to happen to you!” Then after giving herself a brief shake, she said, “Very well, as briefly as you can, please, so I can get beyond this sudden urge to go find a pistol.”
Rebecca did keep it brief and tried not to leave anything out. She began at the beginning, explaining what Sarah Wheeler had tried to get her involved in and how that first meeting with Rupert had been somewhat amusing in retrospect, especially with them both making so many wrong assumptions. She admitted her fascination with him, despite his being such an obvious skirt-chaser. She even confessed that she’d agreed to help Mr. Jennings in his intrigues, and that’s what had led her to seek out Rupert where she shouldn’t have. But she spared nothing in the conclusion, repeating everything he had said and why.
Rebecca actually felt wonderful when she finished, as if a mountain of weight on her shoulders had just crumbled to dust. She should have remembered how Lilly dealt with the good and the bad that life offered. Her mother never pouted, never held grudges. She could get as angry over something as anyone else could, but she rarely ever stewed about it, preferring a quick burst of emotion to get it out of her system, then she’d be back to her normal cheerful self. Rebecca really wished she could be like that. And she wished she’d gone to Lilly first, instead of following Flora’s advice—which had gotten her married.
Lilly stood up when Rebecca had finished and even smiled. It might not have been a wholehearted smile, but it was definitely a determined one.
“Very well,” she said. “There is no need to rush home to Norford. I have a room for you at my hotel. I thought you might enjoy a break from the palace to go shopping with me to furnish the new house, but consider it a break from thinking about this sad situation instead. We’ll have a nice reunion. We’ll have some fun. And then you can decide what
you
want to do. So you can forget about your husband’s silly dictates, which are quite irrelevant because they are based on his false analysis instead of the truth. So what do you say, darling? Shall we go have a nice dinner in London? And, well,
you
can’t, but I feel like getting a little foxed while we’re at it.”