A Sahib's Daughter (19 page)

“Yes, I do,” he said. “I read a lot more…now, that is.” There was an awkward silence. Samira took the opportunity to express sympathy for his loss.

“I heard about your wife’s accident, and I’m very sorry,” she said. “If there’s anything I can do to help you settle in, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Everyone’s been more than kind,” Justin said. “Thank you.”

“Where in Scotland are you from?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Everyone assumes I’m Scottish, but I’m actually an Ulster man from Northern Ireland. Our brogue sounds very similar to most people. Not that it is, of course.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Samira exclaimed. “I naturally assumed….”

“Not to worry. I fully understand. There are many more Scottish than Irish people in tea. In fact, I think I must be the only Irish person here. But people from Northern Ireland are in fact British, as it’s part of the United Kingdom.”

Charles appeared on his way to freshen up after his game of golf.

“Good. I see you’ve met Samira,” he said to Justin.

“Yes, she’s been more than kind.”

“And what did you think of our little golf course?” asked Samira.

“It’s not a bad,” said Justin. “I lost a couple of balls, but if it’s anything like Assam, I’ll know I’ll get them back one way or another.”

They all smiled knowing what he meant. The villagers’ children scoured the course and river for lost balls to sell to the caddies, many of them little more than children themselves. The caddies would sell them to the golfers at what they considered an astronomical profit. But the planters were grateful just to get them back, given the frequent disappearance of balls into the river, the jungle and even into the mouths of passing crows.

After Justin had selected his books, Samira put the register away and went outside to join the others for tea.

“Have you seen Ravi?” she asked Ramona.

“No, I haven’t, actually. He wasn’t playing golf. Wasn’t he at tennis, either?” asked Ramona in surprise.

“No, there was hardly anyone there,” said Samira, a little disappointed at not getting a good game. “Maybe I should have played golf.”

Ravi did not arrive till much later, just as people were settling into their seats for the movie. Samira saw him enter the clubhouse and head towards the bar. She found herself seated between Ramona and Justin. The feature was “Goldfinger,” a James Bond movie she had already seen in Darjeeling.

As soon as the lights came on during the interval, she excused herself and wandered toward the bar hoping to find Ravi. She was no longer confident of her relationship with him and was almost beginning to wonder if she had imagined the whole thing. She saw him seated at the bar with a pint of beer in front of him, staring into the distance. He seemed unhappy about something. She was contemplating creeping away when Dilip Gupta saw her and said,

“Hi, Samira. Let me buy you a drink.”

Ravi heard him and moved over to Samira.

“Thanks, man, but I already ordered something for this young lady.” He put his arm around Samira and guided her towards his bar stool.

“Thanks, Dilip. Some other time,” she said over her shoulder.

She looked at Ravi questioningly, unsure of what to say.

“I’d forgotten how beautiful you were,” Ravi said, reinforcing how long it had been since they’d met.

“Thanks, Ravi, it’s nice of you to say that,” she said, though what she really wanted to say was, “No wonder you’ve forgotten. You never want to see me anymore. Then when we do meet, you act as though there’s something preventing us from seeing each other, when there isn’t.”

“It’s been a while,” she continued, conscious of his intense gaze.

He put his hand over hers and stroked the inside of her arm, sending shivers down her spine.

“Follow me outside in a few minutes,” he said. “I’ll wait for you in the gazebo.”

Obviously, he didn’t want them to be seen walking out of the clubhouse together. And it was true that tongues would wag if they were. She stared into her glass of wine and said nothing.

“Promise me,” he said. “Please.”

She couldn’t refuse. She missed his eyes looking into hers and his soft kisses.

“I promise,” she said. But Charles and Ramona walked over just after Ravi left, with Justin beside them.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked her. “Ramona, Charles, what are you having?”

“Thanks, I already have one,” she said.

They ordered drinks, and she excused herself saying she’d be back in a few minutes. She ran along the lawn to the path that led to the gazebo. Ravi stepped out of the shadows startling her.

“Ravi, you scared me.”

“Sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to.” He grabbed her hand and led her along the pathway beside the honeysuckle hedge that bordered the tennis courts.

“Where are we going?” she whispered. “What do you want?”

“This,” he whispered back, pulling her to him, “I want you!”

His lips found hers and he held her against him passionately.

“Oh my god, I have missed you,” he said. “You feel so good.” His hand was on her breast, as it had been the very first time they had met under the jasmine bushes. He held her close, kissing her all over until she quivered. She clung to him, savoring the closeness of their bodies, the sensation of his touch and the rapid beating of his heart. The air was still, and the deep velvet sky was a panorama of stars.

“Why?” she finally had to ask him, needing to know. “Why haven’t you wanted to see me? What’s wrong?”

“Please, Sammy,” he groaned. “Believe me when I say I love you. And I will explain but not now. Let me just hold you.”

Eventually, Ravi said,

“I should take you home. I have the jeep tonight. I’ll inform your father.”

It was a reasonable suggestion. She could not imagine walking back into the clubhouse in her disheveled state. She would just have to deal with Ramona’s questions later. She was an adult, after all, and old enough to make her own decisions.

But apparently Ramona didn’t see things the same way. She stormed into Samira’s room the next day as she was sipping her morning tea.

“And where did you disappear to last night with Ravi?” she said.

“Mother, he gave me a lift home.” Samira was all innocence.

“I’m aware of that. But you left without saying anything.”

“I thought Ravi told Dad that he was bringing me home.”

“We were in the middle of the movie, and you’d just met that nice Scottish man.”

“Irish.”

“Scottish, Irish, what’s the difference? You just took off with no explanation, right after meeting him.”

“So that’s what this is about. You think Ravi’s not good enough for me now that Justin’s on the scene.”

“That’s not true. And what is your situation with Ravi, by the way? He hasn’t been to see you in ages. Is he really interested in you?”

Well, she wanted to say that he certainly seemed to be last night. She was tingling with the memory of his touch. But the truth was that she didn’t know, even though he’d said he loved and missed her. She hadn’t been able to sleep all night, remembering his caresses. He’d deprived her of his company for so long.

“Well?” She’d held back from questioning Samira long enough and now wanted to know exactly what was going on.

Samira felt the weight in her chest bear down on her again, the pain that had begun to ease as she gained in maturity and her relationship with her mother strengthened. She grew defensive again.

“She’s treating me like a child,” she thought, “Which is guaranteed to make me behave like one.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m an adult now. I can make my own decisions.” The words sounded childish, even to her.

“I only want what’s best for you,” Ramona softened, sensing her withdrawal. “Just remember, I’m on your side.”

But Samira couldn’t hear what she was saying any longer. She was too upset. And because her mother had struck a nerve, she no longer felt she could confide in her, as much as she needed a guide and confidante.

“I’m sorry if I did something to displease you, Mother,” she said. “But I have a lot to think about.”

Chapter 16

Dooars, 1978

At breakfast, Ramona announced that Justin was coming to dinner that night.

“We all need to make him feel welcome,” she said. She didn’t look her daughter in the eye.

Charles sliced up his eggs and placed the dripping pieces on his toast.

“That’s nice, dear.” He was reading the paper, his mind elsewhere.

“Sure,” thought Samira, seeing through her mother’s subterfuge. It was obviously an effort at matchmaking, getting her together with Justin so that she would forget Ravi. She had nothing against Justin. Actually, he seemed very likeable. Besides, Ravi hadn’t called and as the day wore on, she realized that he probably wouldn’t.

“Would you like me to make a chocolate soufflé?” she asked Ramona, trying to placate her mother.

“That would be lovely,” said Ramona. “Would you like to arrange some flowers, too?”

“Okay,” said Samira. “I’ll ask Ramchand if he can spare some. I know he’s been hoarding stuff for the Flower Show next month. Isn’t it wonderful that he finally had a son?”

“Yes, very nice,” agreed Ramona. “I’m so happy for him and Usha.”

She put her arm around her daughter, appreciative of the effort.

Samira went to the pantry to pick out the ingredients for the chocolate soufflé and reflected that while she and her mother made copious efforts with their relationship, Charles and Mark just seemed to muddle through somehow.

Justin arrived in the evening with a bouquet of flowers, which he handed to Ramona. When he saw the array of flowers Samira had arranged, he laughed.

“Oops, maybe I should have brought something else!”

“Not at all, it’s the thought that counts,” Ramona said. She pushed the electric bell to summon Jetha to put the flowers in water.

He’s actually quite handsome, thought Samira, watching him from the corner of her eye. When she invited Ravi over, he was her guest, for her to entertain, but she didn’t feel responsible for Justin because her mother had invited him. She was curious about his wife and his life in Northern Ireland, but was sure he didn’t want a barrage of questions.

Just then the phone rang, and Samira’s heart leapt. But it was the assistant manager for Charles.

“Excuse me, Justin. We’ve been having labor issues. This could take a while,” he grumbled.

“I need to go to the kitchen and see to the food.” Ramona jumped up. “Why don’t you show Justin the garden, Sammy?”

“If you’re interested?” Samira looked at him, questioningly.

“Yes, surely. I’d love to see your garden. I’ve heard it’s quite spectacular.”

He followed Samira down the steps and into the rose garden. She showed him the famous Ena Harkness roses that had won Ramchand one of his rosettes last year. They were purest yellow, fragrant and perfect in every way. They strolled over to the shrubbery to examine the jasmine bushes, laden with waxy, full-scented blossoms.

Justin saw Samira shudder.

“Are you okay?” he asked, taking her arm.

“Yes, I’m fine, thanks,” she said, memories of her first encounter with Ravi flooding back. “How are you settling in?”

“I really like it here.”

“If ever you need a friendly ear, I’m here for you.”

Suddenly, he found himself telling her how he had been through the worst three years of his life, how he had had to endure the loss of his dear wife, and tell her parents that their daughter was dead, she had fallen down a cliff and been swallowed up by a monstrous river. And that, no, he had not beside her at the time. He had wandered ahead of the group and was talking to the guide. She was with the other ladies and back went to fetch her camera, something he would have gladly done for her. If only she had asked him! She must have been momentarily distracted as she ran back. The lens cover was open, as though she’d been taking a picture. And when they later developed the film, there was a snapshot of the scene of the tragedy.

“The worst of it is that I felt I was just beginning to fall in love with her. She had been the best possible wife to me. She came with me to this country at a time when…I really needed her. She was so fragile, yet so strong. She made the most of every situation. Her love for me, well, it was truer than mine was for her. I wasn’t worthy of her.”