A Sail of Two Idiots (2 page)

Read A Sail of Two Idiots Online

Authors: Renee Petrillo

Casting Off

6
And We're Off—Not

Need Fuel?

So Thirsty

Energize Me

7
Bahamas Here We Come!

Tacking

Back on Track

Exploring the Islands

8
Welcome to the Bahamas!

Great Sale Cay

Allans-Pensacola Cay

Green Turtle Cay

What Do You Mean You're Leaving Us?

Who's in Charge Here?

A Quick Note About Charts and Navigation

9
Becoming Green Turtle (Abacos) Bahamas Residents

Who Anchored This Thing?

If One Anchor Is Good, Two Is Better, Right?

Making Friends

Brrrr on Green Turtle

Not Again!

Thankful on Thanksgiving

The Whale (Cue the Suspense Music)

After the Whale

What Did We Learn Here?

10
Breaking Free!

Ping-Ponging Around the Rest of the Abacos

Becoming One with the Abacos

11
You Can't Go Home Again

12
Back to the Abacos: Practicing and Fixing, Fixing and Practicing

Sailors in Training

Fixing Things in Exotic Locations

I See Another Pep Talk Coming

Final Days in the Abacos

13
Good-Bye, Abacos, Hello, Exumas (in the Central Bahamas)

Royal Island

Allen's Cay

Hawksbill Cay

Warderick Wells Cay

Compass Cay

Big Majors Spot and Staniel Cay

Black Point Settlement, Great Guana Cay (Yes, Another One)

14
A Milestone Is Reached–George Town (Bahamas)

Long Island

George Town—
Part II

Guess It's Time to Stop Pussyfooting Around and Get Out of Here

15
Who You Calling Chicken? Bahamas, Stage Left

What Broke?

16
Turks and Caicos–Definite Possibilities

East Caicos

Grand Turk

Big Sand Cay

What Broke?

17
The Dominican Republic—Island A+, Anchorage F−

Life on Luperon and Beyond

Road Trip!

Who Invited Hurricane Dean?

Break Out the Tissues

Hurricane Season? What Hurricane Season? We're Leaving

What Broke?

18
Our Longest Sail Ever—Adios, Dominican Republic!

19
Hola, Puerto Rico! The United States on Island Time

A Tour of the Southern Coast—First Up, Cabo Rojo

La Parguera

Coffin Island

Salinas

Puerto Patillas

Cayo Santiago

Isla Palominos

What Broke?

Let's Talk Anchor Rode

20
If We Can't Be Virgins, Then Let's Go to Them (the Islands, That Is)

Spanish Virgin Islands

U.S. Virgin Islands

British Virgin Islands

Gobble Gobble on Tortola

Final Moments with the Virgins

What Broke?

21
Bonjour! Welcome to St. Martin (and a Quickie to St. Barths and Anguilla)

St. Martin: The Prequel

St. Martin: Redo

Work, Work, Work

Play, Play, Play

Back to Work

What Broke?

22
Island Hopping to Saba, Statia, and St. Kitts and Nevis (Islands That Brush the Clouds)

Saba

What Broke?

Statia (St. Eustatius)

What Broke?

St. Kitts (St. Christopher)

Nevis—The First Time

Back to St. Kitts

What Broke?

Nevis as a Launching Pad to Antigua

What Broke?

23
A Stowaway on Antigua

What Broke?

24
Graffiti and Guadeloupe

What Broke?

25
Oh When Des Saintes

What Broke?

26
Lush-Ous Dominica

What Broke?

27
Martinique Gets a Quickie

What Broke?

28
Was That St. Lucia?

What Broke?

29
Reverse Course—Back to Antigua!

Dominica

Guadeloupe

Antigua

What Broke?

30
And Back Down Again on the
Jacumba
Express

What Broke?

31
Coo-Coo for Carriacou

32
From Miami to Grenada: Who'd Have Believed It?

Island Fun

Hauling Out and DIY

What Broke?

33
St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Otherwise Known as Paradise

Carriacou

Sandy Island

Back to Carriacou

Union Island

Tobago Cays

Canouan

Bequia

Mustique

St. Vincent

Bequia (Again)

Tobago Cays (Again)

Union Island (Again)

Mayreau

St. Vincent (Again)

What Broke?

34
Solo Sailor on Grenada

And He's Gone

A Trinidad Quickie

Back to Grenada

Solo Sailing

He's Back

Waiting Out Hurricane Season

A Brief Respite

It's Time

What Broke?

35
The Final Run

The Grenadines to St. Lucia

Dominica

Les Saintes to Guadeloupe

Montserrat

Nevis and St. Barths

What Broke?

36
Hurry Up and Wait

37
Is This It?

Onshore

A Visitor!

Work, Work, Work

38
Maybe, but Let's Go to Barbuda for a Look-see

What Broke?

39
It Was a Bad Sail; It Was a Good Sail

Spinnaker R.I.P
.

Landlubbers Again

40
You're Hired, We're Home (Sort of)

Back On Board

What Broke?

41
Sell, Sell, Sell!

Who's at the Helm?

Meet Ana and Bill

Happy Feet

42
Sold … Based on Survey

Another Survey Story

43
D Is for Deflated, Dispirited, Depressed

44
Change That to Delighted, Delirious, Disembarking!

Our Last Tropical Storm!

Our Last Shark Sighting!

Our Last Boat Bottom Scrubbing!

Our Last Deck Scrubbing!

Our Last Intruder!

Our Last Peeping Toms!

Our Last Boat Payment!

Our Last Night of Lasts

45
Where Are We Now?

Now It's Your Turn

46
Time to Take the Plunge

47
Observations and Lists

General Thoughts

Tips

The End

Appendix: How We Chose Our Island

Acknowledgments

Index

Lessons

1 Own Up

2 Don't Ever Assume Anything

3A Know Whose Side Your Broker's On

3B Become a Boat Broker

4 Pictures Lie and So Do the People Who Take Them

5 Shop Around, Be Patient, and Trust Your Instincts

6 Don't Panic

7 Your Eyes Should Not Be Bigger Than Your Wallet

8 Don't Completely Abandon Your Ship

9 Sh** Happens

10 Ca Ching!

11 Past Employers Are Your Friends

12 Voodoo Is Real

13 Be Afraid

14 Can You Hear Me Now?

15 Build Good Karma

16A You Can Never Have Enough Spares

16B Be Shipshape

17 You Cannot Have Too Much Stuff!

18 You Will Wait for Weather—A Lot

19 Is It You?

20 Neptune Has a Strange Sense of Humor

21 Bigger Is Better

22 No, You Do Not Like It Rough

23 Trust Your Instincts

24 Size Does Matter

25 Let Me See Some ID

26 Role Play

27 There Cannot Be Two Captains

28A Books Are Your Friend

28B Keep Your Friends Current

29 Need Drugs? Stock Up!

30 Anchoring Is an Art

31 Fun Is Important!

32A Dinghies Have Anchors Too

32B About-face

33 The Tide Is High?

34 Use People

35 Stay Tuned

36 Dinghies Are Engines Too

37 Pickup Lines

38 Everyone's an Expert

39 Do Not Drink and Drive

40 Don't Be Sheep

41 To Sail, You Need Your Sail Up!

42 Pull the Plug

43 Get a Hearing Aid

44 Go with the Flow

45 Use Protection

46 Safety First

47 Patience, Patience, Patience

48 It's Not Heavy, It's Your Anchor

49 Do Your Homework

50 If It Smells Like a Fish …

51A Make Sure All Systems Are Go

51B Do the Same for Your Engine

52 Keep Your Balance

53 Don't Force It

54 Check and Double-check

55 Paging Al Roker

56 Get Wheels

57 Be a Pessimist

58 Recycle!

59 Trash Talk

60 Déjà Vu

61 Stop and Smell the Roses (or Sand)

62 Avoid Shark Week

63 Don't Always Go by the Book

64 Birds of a Feather …

65 The 15-Minute Rule

66 Get a Beeper

67 Don't Be a Snob

68 Hide Your Bling

69 There Is Safety in Numbers

70 Did Someone Call a Doctor?

71 Calling Dr. Kevorkian

72 Become a Storm Chaser

73 Anchoring Can Be a Drag

74 Get Used to Anchor Diving

75 Become a Grocery Store Connoisseur

76 Don't Hold Your Breath

77 Boating Isn't for Hermits Anymore

78 Dinghy Lessons

79 Double-Bag It

80 Investigate

81 Play Bikers for a Day

82 Don't Be Fooled

83 Don't Be Too Proud to Turn Around

84 Ignition a Go

85 Swimming Lessons

86 Put a Reef in It!

87 Be Flexible

88 Turn Out the Lights

89 Prop Check

Other books

Dreams to Sell by Anne Douglas
Hard Silence by Mia Kay
Sudden Legacy by Kristy Phillips
Love Kills by Edna Buchanan
Damaged Goods by Lauren Gallagher
Keeping Secrets by Ann M. Martin
Lost by Christina Draper
RosyCheeks by Marianne LaCroix