A Scarred Soul: A Small Town Love Story (Safe Haven Book 2) (32 page)

Ray, at least, cooperated. When she’d visited him on her way home from work, she’d found him up, dressed, and sketching in the small garden outside his room at the rehab center. He’d greeted her with the old cheeky grin that made her heart melt and told her he’d been accepted at a place to help with his gambling. He also gave her a list of art supplies he wanted.

She took another sip of wine and put her glass down. Time now to stop focusing on negative stuff. The men in her life were healing, their own lives back together in exactly the manner she hoped. This was her opportunity to focus on her own life, finish her degree, and be ready to grab that promotion in twelve months’ time.

She would look at working with Steffi as an opening to broaden her skills. No more pussyfooting around and feeling sorry for herself. With new resolve, she headed for bed. Tomorrow she’d finish her plan for Vince she’d put in motion earlier.

L
ulah arrived first
at the community dog training meet-up point. She hadn’t experienced such a swarm of stomach butterflies since the night of the auction.

What she had organized tonight was probably more important for Vince than taking the stage at the auction on his behalf.

He wasn’t here, but she was early, so she ordered Joker out of the SUV and set off around the park to give him a walk. It would settle her nerves as much as benefit the dog.

When she reached a spot near the park bench, where she’d sat with Vince a few weeks ago, her phone rang.

The caller ID showed it was her rental agent for the cabin, and she contemplated ignoring the call. Probably a rent rise, and that sort of news could wait until later in the evening.

She threw Joker’s ball into some bush to make the fetch game they were playing more challenging and watched his furiously wagging tail disappear into the trees.

When the agent called a second time, she decided she might as well deal with him. If it was a rent rise, ignoring his call wouldn’t change a thing. Two minutes later, she cut off the call, her hands shaking, her world breaking apart.

The cabin had sold. She’d taken too long getting the money together, too stubborn to go to the bank for a loan. She wanted to kick herself, kick the new owner, and kick Albert’s family for refusing to honor the agreement that she would have first refusal on the property if another interested party showed up.

No chance, no warning. The new owner hadn’t even viewed the place.

Joker sat at her feet, his great pink tongue lolling from one side of his mouth, his head ducking repeatedly to indicate he’d dropped the tennis ball in front of her and would she kindly pick it up and throw it now, please?

Lulah stayed frozen in place on the park bench. Turned out bad luck did come in threes.

Across the park, students and dogs gathered for class. She knew she should head over there, compose herself, deal with the students but…shit, she wanted to cry. She rubbed at her eyes, took a couple of big breaths, and called Joker to heel.

“Fuck it.” There, she said it. Not that it changed anything, but somehow it helped free some stress.

She pulled her shoulders back, pasted on a smile, and set off at a jog to meet her students.

When she arrived at the group, she saw Vince wasn’t there, but his no-show scarcely raised any emotion. Seemed it didn’t matter how she tried to arrange things, nothing worked for her.

She cast her gaze around the jumbled group one more time and found the other person she hoped would be here.

Wow. She was gorgeous.

V
ince pulled
up to the park where the small group of people with their dogs were starting to assemble for community dog training. It was Lulah’s turn to take the class this evening, and she’d asked for his help. She said it was graduation night and that usually one of the interns helped out, but there was nobody available.

He was late. The meeting with the lawyer took longer than he’d estimated, which made him overdue for his other appointment that afternoon. And that wasn’t one he could rush.

Clipping the leash to Calliope’s collar, he climbed out of the pickup, gathering a jacket and scarf from his bag on the seat.

Hell, it was cold. He checked to see what Lulah wore. She was notorious for dressing too light for the weather, but she’d even gone for a hat tonight.

He saw her. It wasn’t the sight of Taryn, who appeared to have stuck at the dog training course over the past few weeks that stopped him in his tracks sending his heart completely wild and flooding him with the most extraordinary warmth.

It was Gable.

She stood alongside Taryn, twiddling with the end of the leash that Taryn held.

Vince was stunned. He didn’t know whether to approach them or go to Lulah. He chose Lulah, because hell, if this was going to cause a scene, he needed backup. As he walked towards her, she came to meet him.

“Hey, Vince.”

“Hey, yourself. Ah…” He glanced back over to Gable then back to Lulah, raising his eyebrows to ask the question he was too afraid to put into words.

“She’s yours while Taryn does class.”

“Did you do this for me, Lulah?”

He watched her nodding, her mouth tight as if worried she might have made a bad call. He looked back at Gable again, afraid she’d vanish, scared that maybe this was a dream. He wrapped an arm around Lulah, taking her chin and tipping her head up to him. “You’re a miracle worker. This is more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you.”

Lulah pulled from his grasp. “Go on; get over there,” she said, nudging him away.

As he turned, Gable came running towards him. “Daddy,” she called, raising her arms to be picked up. He swept her up against him, pulling her head against his shoulder, wanting to hold her so tight but worried he’d crush her. Over Gable’s shoulder, he mouthed another ‘thank you’ to Lulah, and placed the wriggling child back on the ground. “What first?” he asked, “Swings or the slide?”

She took his hand and pulled. “Swings, Daddy. Let’s go.”

Daddy.
The sweetest word he’d heard in such a long time.

C
oncentrating
on the class was difficult when every glance she stole brought Vince and Gable into sight, playing on the swings or messing about with Calliope. Sometimes she caught them deep in conversation, oblivious to the class going on nearby. Watching the pair should have brought her so much pleasure, but now she felt lost.

The small world she’d created for herself had broken into pieces when she heard her cabin had sold, and seeing Vince with his daughter, seeing their joy and the way they seemed to fit like a hand in a glove, turned the pieces of her world upside down.

Vince caught her gaze, held it, and this time it was he who seemed to find her soul as his broad smile filled her with light. With Gable, he looked complete. Lulah helped him reach his prize, and in time, she would enjoy some satisfaction from having done that for him. Right now, she’d take his smile, because his pleasure would sustain her through the class.

A couple of hours later, they were back at the cabin. Lulah prepared dinner, and Vince leaned against the bench, still smiling.

“God, Lulah, I don’t know if I can ever thank you enough for what you did, arranging for Gable to be there tonight. Even better, Taryn has said I can have her for the entire day the Sunday after next. Maybe I can bring her back here, show her around the Dog Sanctuary. She’d love that.”

“Good idea.” Why couldn’t she inject any enthusiasm into her voice?

“You’re not okay, Lulah. What’s wrong?”

She stared at the potato half-peeled in her hand, her back to Vince, thankfully, because now at home, not having to hold everything together for class, she cracked. “Tired, I guess,” she mumbled.
Hell, tears now, great.
She lifted an arm, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater.

“Jesus, you’re crying.”

“It’s the onions,” she lied.

She jumped when his hands took her shoulders. “You don’t have onions; now turn around.”

She shook her head. “Don’t, Vince.”

“To hell with that.” He took the knife she’d been using from her hand and placed it on the bench. “Come with me.” He led her to the sofa, sitting first and pulling her into his lap. She struggled, not wanting his concern or tenderness, because what was the point of comfort when he’d be gone soon? But his arms trapped her, and finally she gave in, burying her face into his chest and taking a long deep breath of him, his scent and his strength.

“So, imp, tell me what’s upset you.”

“Hold me a bit. I’ll be alright, soon.”

“Sure, I’ll hold you for as long as you need, and you’ll be alright as soon as you tell me what’s bothering you.”

She could stay silent in the safety and warmth, here against Vince. In fact, she could happily stay right here for the rest of her life.

“Come on, let me have it.”

“Break.”

Vince chuckled. “Nice try, but that safeword doesn’t work around me. We have all night, and I’m a patient man, so if you’re planning to eat, you’d better start sharing those thoughts.”

“I’d rather hear about how you finished up at the retreat and what you talked about with Gable. That would cheer me up.”

He sat her up. “No ducking out of this, imp. I have so much to tell you, but you’re going to talk first. You’ve admitted you need cheering up. Can’t do that until I know what’s wrong, so shoot.”

“It’s a bit of a list. I don’t want to depress you.”

“As if you could.” His stomach rumbled against her. “That’s the sound of hunger. Start talking.”

Where to start? That was the problem. She’d have to leave out her insecurities about leaving Vince at the retreat because she didn’t want to sound completely crazy. “Okay, listen up ‘cause I’m only saying this once. They’ve made a decision at the Sanctuary for the director of service dog training, and it’s not me.”

“Oh, Lulah, I’m so sorry. That sucks.”

“There’s a bit more suck.”

“Ray?”

“Ray’s fine. He’s improving all the time, and he’s about to move into a rehab program for gambling. I’ve a list a mile long of art supplies he wants me to buy for him, because he’s using painting as therapy.”

“Is it me?”

She swung around and straddled his lap. Suddenly she didn’t want to hide her face from him, shelter him from the onslaught of emotion that threatened to burst through. Yeah, it was him, a bit, so why did she try to keep that a secret? “At the end of the retreat, it all went wrong for me. I felt rejected.”

“Why, imp?” He stroked her back in long sweeps up and down her spine, as if coaxing the words from her.

“After the dream, the morning I left, you went to Eric and Adoette…I thought you’d turn to me.” Saying it aloud sounded silly. “I guess I didn’t understand what was happening. It seemed you didn’t need me anymore.”

“I wasn’t rejecting you. I didn’t want to trouble you with anything else. Plus, it was the sort of dream some of the others already experienced, and Eric had helped them sort it out. At the retreat, my entire focus was on healing, so I was probably more self-absorbed than ever. I stayed another night there but had no more significant dreams.”

“How do you feel now?” Such bland words begging for such a potent answer.

“Normal, Lulah, and you have no idea what a feeling that is for someone like me. And it’s thanks to you, for believing I could get better. The idea of what may have happened with my life if I’d never met you fills me with horror.”

His gratitude was more of a burden than the nightmare of his story, because she was unworthy of it. Apparently she’d become some sort of bubbling mess because once again, tears threatened. “I pushed you away.” The tears spilled with her confession.

“Hey...”

He waited for her, wanting her to meet his eyes if his finger pressing under her chin was any indication.

“Hey, Lulah,” he repeated, his voice gentle as it would be with a frightened animal. “You saw in me what I couldn’t find. How many ways can I tell you how grateful I am for that? You stood me on my feet and encouraged me to seek help. That’s not pushing me away, that’s guiding me to the start of the journey I needed to take to make me whole.”

“I could have helped you more…those times when you asked.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Any more from you and I’d still be in the same place. You gave me strength and courage.” His fingertips slipped across her face, taking away her tears. “Are you hungry, imp?”

“No, not really.”

“Me neither. Come to bed and let me hold you.”

She needed that, too, but when she followed him through to the bedroom, she knew that she still had to tell him about the cabin. Vince removed his clothes, and she followed his lead. The look he gave, searing hot and loaded with desire, helped her decide that the rest of her bad news could wait until morning.

M
aking
love to Lulah the night before had been so different from other times. Gone was the desperation to erase the bad thing that gnawed at him, that could be vanquished for a few hours by sharing something so beautiful with her.

At breakfast, though, Lulah’s odd mood returned. Her bright comments were forced, and something still bothered her. The way she shrugged off his questions, in place of her usual open honesty, told him his suspicions were correct. Today he would do something to fix that for her.

Lulah was leaving for work as he cleared up from breakfast. “Can you bring Calliope over to the Sanctuary this afternoon? A couple of the interns are interested in service dog training, and I’d like to give them a demo with Calliope. Show them what they’re up for.”

That didn’t fit in at all well with his plans.

She’d read the look on his face, because in an instant, she continued with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter. It was an idea. You’re obviously busy; we can do it another day.”

He hated seeing her like this. “I’m not too busy. I’ll fit it in.”

“Thanks. Why don’t I come here for lunch and we can go up to the Sanctuary together?”

“That sounds good.” Sounded like a nightmare in logistics to be honest. He had another appointment with the lawyer this morning, who, for someone charging in minute increments, seemed lousy at timekeeping. Then there was that other major meeting, but what the hell? Lulah smiled at him, and her smile made the impossible doable.

He went over to the barn, leaving the door open despite the vicious wind chill. The place needed airing from being locked up, and he wanted a fresh atmosphere to start work on the new commission. The dog was a honey…a Papillion whose butterfly ears were going to be a challenge for his chisel. He’d chosen the dog as his first commission from the list of people waiting, because the wheelchair-bound owner had relied on Pierre, her small dog, for the past fourteen years to complete the tasks for which she was incapable.

When the lawyer’s secretary called to say they needed to push the meeting back an hour, he knew he’d never make the Dog Sanctuary visit that afternoon.

D
on’t freakin’ believe this
. Is he for real?

Lulah held the note in her hand that carried two words guaranteed to send a chill to the pit of her stomach.

Break.

Sorry.

He’d even managed to find the stone he’d used to weight the last note he’d placed at her door, despite her having, at that time, hurled it across the yard.

Lulah searched back trying to identify the god or goddess she’d managed to piss off, because this game of life was rapidly turning shitty. She took an apple from the fridge, recalled Joker, and headed back for the Sanctuary. It was no surprise to discover the apple’s texture floury and a large bruise.

An hour into work at the Sanctuary and Adam hauled her away on some pretense designed to give him the opportunity to dig into her head.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Have you bought donuts?”

“No.” His eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe she was asking for food. “And I’m not even going to bribe you with a promise of them.”

“That’s the second time this week you’ve failed on the donuts.”

“You haven’t earned any. Now, tell me why you are being so hard on the interns?”

“Not one of them brought their brains to work today. You go soft on them; they take advantage of you.”

“You’re going to scare them away at the rate you’re chewing them out.”

Lulah huffed and draped herself over an armchair. “This lot are unbelievable.”

“This lot, Lulah, are no different than any other lot. Some are brilliant, some good, and some below average. All are here to learn and don’t have your expertise or knowledge. Now, there’s a bug in your ass, and if you don’t want to tell me about it, I’ll call for Marlo.”

“I don’t know who’s worse.”

“Believe me, that would be Marlo.”

What could she tell him? That the cabin had sold? No, she should tell Vince first, except he’d gone AWOL again. Well, hadn’t the retreat proved a roaring success! A couple of days out and he’s back to his old behavior. She was done with all of it. No promotion, no house, no reliable man in her life...

“Lulah, speak.”

“Hello, Adam. How are things with you?” She lifted her chin and gave him a bright, fake smile.

Adam returned with a stare that would make the most heinous felon quake. She raised her hands. “Okay, things are a bit messy, and I’ve brought the mess to work when really I should be all mature and leave it at home. I apologize, and it won’t happen again.” She stood.

He shook his head. “Borrowing from Marlo here. Sit!”

Lulah flopped back into the chair. Defiance rose in her because, hell… “I’m tired, alright? My well-planned life has gone off the rails, and I’m starting to see that I have no backup plan.”

“Is this about missing the promotion?”

Jesus, men!
“You know, if it were that, I could deal with it. But there’s other stuff, and just because you’re my boss doesn’t mean I have to tell you the personal bits. I admit it shouldn’t have come to work, but bringing it with me doesn’t mean I have to share it with you.”

He pressed his lips together, the look on his face softened. “To be honest, I’d hoped we were talking as friends. You don’t bottle stuff up, Lulah. You let it all out and move on. The interns will survive. It’s you I care about, and from here, I see you’re hurting.”

She wouldn’t tell him that Vince had called a break. That their relationship had come unglued again, and although her heart hurt, she wasn’t sure if she wanted a chance to repair it—if that were even possible. She couldn’t tell him about the cabin, because Vince didn’t know yet, and, dammit, messy here. “Give me twenty-four hours, please? If it’s not fixed by then, I’ll share. Right now I’m too fragile, so you need to back off.”

“Good. I’m okay with that. But if you’re the same tomorrow, we talk it out.” His firm mouth eased now. “As friends, Lulah, over a drink.” He stood with her and opened his arms. “Come here.”

Lulah allowed herself to fall into his embrace, because, damn, the guy gave good hugs. After a short bit, she tried to push off him, but he tightened his grip.

“You know we love you, Lulah.”

“I know. And I love you guys, too.”

He released her. “You hurt, we hurt. Got it?”

That was the problem. Being known as the infinitely jolly person meant you didn’t have a chance to be low. “Sometimes, I don’t feel great. Other times, I’m the whizz. I’ll be fine.”

“Nice try, Lulah. Fooling exactly no one.”

She stopped at the office door. “I don’t know how Marlo puts up with you. A better friend would have stopped her becoming involved.” She gave him a quick thump on his very hard bicep and set off back for HQ.

Through the afternoon she made an extra effort and managed to pull the old Lulah into play, but when she headed for home, the head-fog reappeared. She fought it off knowing that the news of the property sale, which she should probably share with Vince tonight, wouldn’t be as devastating for him as for her. And that was if Vince even turned up. He could be up in the mountains for all she knew. Break? Sheesh, give me a break.

He was there. Her heart skittered with pleasure, the pressure of it forcing back the fog. She paused with her hand on the SUV’s ignition key, knowing she should be annoyed with him, but so relieved that his break was so short. He met her on the porch and pulled her inside. The cabin was cozy from a fire he’d lit, probably some time ago if the depth of warmth was anything to go by. From the kitchen came the smell of meat roasting, and two other pots waiting on the stove.

Well, that took care of being annoyed with him. She couldn’t spoil the evening with her news. She’d tell him tomorrow. No rush, because she had yet to receive an eviction notice.

He pulled her into him. “Hello, beautiful imp.” His lips touched her cheek briefly before he pulled away and sniffed. “What is that? A new scent?”

She was puzzled. Mostly she smelled of dogs.

“Raw meaty bones with hint of offal. Interesting.”

Lulah laughed. “One of the new dogs is dealing with resource guarding issues, so I’m hand-feeding him until he becomes comfortable with the idea that people around food and toys mean good things happen. Nice work picking the bones. Can you tell me, for a bonus point, exactly what offal I fed?”

“No, but I’m liking the hand-feeding idea. We could give that a try sometime. What I can tell you is that you should go and take a shower. I’ve made a special dinner, and I’d like you to wear the dress you wore to the auction. I don’t want to be the only guy around who hasn’t seen you in it.”

She wanted to resist but noticed the table, set with a white linen cloth, candles, and flowers. “Wow, Vince, this is beautiful. Is this the reason for your break? To do this?”

“Part of it. Now shower and into that dress before I’m forced to help you.”

“Do that and we’ll never eat,” she called as she headed for the bathroom.

After she’d showered, she discovered he’d put another vase of flowers in her bedroom. This one was filled with tulips of every color imaginable, bringing spring and warmth to the dullness of late fall. They must have cost a fortune.

She found her dress, still sheathed in the cleaner’s protective bag. To be honest, she’d never believed Vince would see her wear it. She slipped it on, messed about with her hair, and found the lipstick she’d worn the night of the auction.

Even though she felt a bit silly, she slid into the difficult heels that had almost been her downfall when she’d approached the stage to give her speech. Once done, she rechecked the mirror, wondering if Vince would be as surprised as her any time she caught a glimpse of herself all dressed-up.

She’d grown up a tomboy, preferring jeans and t-shirts, but even she was impressed by the way she turned out in a dress.

Modeling time. She drew a deep breath and opened her bedroom door. Walking to him, she heard the unfamiliar tattoo of her heels on the floorboards, and when Vince turned, they both paused.

He stood dressed in a dark suit and, hell, it took her breath away. It was true. A well-cut suit was, to a woman, like lingerie to a man. And that suit was beautifully cut.

She gave him a twirl, finishing with a smile at him, but he stood there speechless. The dress? Was it too much? Now self-conscious, she smoothed her hands down its front. The halter neckline crossed high up near her neck, fastening around the back to leave her shoulders bare. The back plunged to below her waist, fitting snugly over her butt before falling softly to stop above her knee.

“You don’t like it,” she said quietly.

He shook his head. “I love it. You’re stunning. And the shoes…wow. They make your ankles even more perfect, and, just wow. The only thing I don’t like is that a ballroom filled with men saw you in it before I did.”

“Well, I have to say, I’m glad the other half of the inhabitants of the ballroom that night didn’t get to see what I’m seeing right now, because you are devastating in a suit.”

He walked to her, took her hand, and lifted it to his lips, kissing it softly before capturing one knuckle between his teeth. He held it, giving her a wicked grin. She winked at him, and he released her, laughing. He led her to the table where dinner was set out, candles lit, sat her down, and placed a napkin across her lap.

“All joking aside, Lulah, you’re a vision. And it’s more than the dress; it’s what’s inside you, too.”

Her face flushed, and tears? Now? She glanced around the cabin. It might be small, but it was her home, completed by having Vince there, too. The candlelight threw long shadows, and she took in a big breath, acknowledging how stupid she was to stubbornly refuse to apply for a bank loan to buy the place. That soon she would lose the opportunity to sit in this room, to remember this night, was dispiriting. But she brushed away those thoughts, because Vince had created this beautiful magic, and nothing would ruin this night.

He removed his jacket. “Sorry, babe, I’m too hot in this,” he said. Lulah didn’t mind, enjoying the view of the fit of the slacks around his ass, the way the buttoned shirt almost strained to contain the breadth of his shoulders as he walked to the kitchen. He returned with an ice bucket and champagne.

Lulah eyed him. “So do you want to tell me what this is all about?”

He dislodged the foil from the top of the bottle, loosening the wire cage, the
muselet
, all the time keeping his eye on her and barely keeping the grin from his face. “Tonight is about a lot of things.” He removed the cork with a contained pop. “A celebration, if you like. Foremost, it’s an expression of my gratitude to you for all that you’ve done for me.”

She watched him fill two flutes. Flutes! He’s even bought new glasses
.

“It’s my homecoming celebration. A ceremony to mark my return and to remember those who never made it home. And to honor those who, because of their soul wounds, are still fighting their way back.”

Lulah took the glass he offered her. “I’ll drink to that,” she said, lifting it to touch his own raised glass, and as she did, she noticed the small tremble to her hand. No man had ever done anything like this for her, and she felt as if she wanted to take those three words she’d whispered into the compass on his back and share them with him again. This time bravely, at full volume. Except she wasn’t that brave, and her future was in tatters.

“Now let’s eat, because to be honest, Lulah, if I don’t have something soon to take my mind off you in that dress, we won’t be having dinner tonight.”

He’d cooked French lamb cutlets with roasted rosemary potatoes and a simple side-dish of steamed peas and beans. “We used to sit around and talk about the meal we most missed from home, and once we’d passed the idea of the instant gratification of a really cheesy pizza, we came up with all kinds of menus. In the end, what we’re having tonight was the one we all agreed on. Naturally, we added the company of a gorgeous female to top off the perfect meal.”