A Season of Angels (20 page)

“In a minute.”

Jody rolled her eyes. She'd heard that phrase often enough to have it etched into the patio walkway.

Seeing that she wasn't going to get much conversation from her son, she fried the ground turkey and set the sauce to simmer. Once she'd finished, she reached for the phone and dialed her mother's number. If ever she needed emotional support it was now.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Jody, how are you?”

“All right, I guess.” She didn't want to unburden her soul, nor could she very well announce that she'd decided to marry Glen within earshot of Timmy. But she could tell her about Gloria's call.

“My guess is that Gloria wants to apologize, dear,” her mother said, after Jody finished. “She was hurt and angry and said something she didn't mean, and now she's looking to make amends.”

Jody was sure her mother was right, but needed confirmation before returning the call, and said as much.

“You need to remember,” Helen continued, “you and Timmy are the only relatives she has left. I'm sure she regrets everything and would like to mend fences. The Christmas gifts you mailed probably arrived and they were the perfect excuse for her to contact you. She means well, sweetheart.”

The doorbell sounded and Jody glanced at her watch. “That must be Glen,” she explained.

“I do like that young man,” her mother announced, and after a quick word in parting, Jody hung up the phone.

Her guess proved correct. Glen stood on the other side of the door, a bottle of wine in his hand and a bouquet of red rosebuds in the other. He kissed her on the cheek and handed her both.

“How's Timmy?” Glen asked as she arranged the roses in a crystal vase.

“Preoccupied,” Jody whispered.

Glen's arm circled her waist as they returned to the kitchen. When Timmy noticed Glen had arrived, he turned off the game.

“Hi, Glen.”

“How's it going, scout?”

“All right, I guess. Mom said you were coming over for dinner.”

“Yeah, you don't mind, do you?”

“Oh, no,” Timmy said, “I think it's great, but she made spaghetti and she makes me eat it with a spoon. She'll probably make you do the same thing.”

“I think I can live with that, if you can.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Timmy said.

“Son, Glen and I would like to have a talk with you before dinner.” Rubbing her palms together as if warding off a chill, Jody looked at Glen for assistance. They hadn't talked about when they'd break the news to Timmy, and Jody worried their dinner would be a disaster with this hanging over their heads.

“Sure,” Timmy said.

The three of them sat down together in the family room. Glen was next to Jody and Timmy sat across from them. Glen reached for Jody's hand.

“Your mother and I talked this afternoon and decided that we like each other very much,” Glen explained.

“I kind of guessed that you did,” Timmy said. “I saw you kissing her once.”

“Did that trouble you?” Jody asked, watching her son for any telltale signs of jealousy. Although Timmy yearned for a father, he may not have understood that it would mean having to share his mother's attention with someone else.

“I don't know why people kiss on the lips,” Timmy said. “It's seems silly when you're always warning me about germs, but adults seem to like it and even some kids. Rich told me he kissed a girl and it wasn't too bad.”

“But how do you feel about me and your mother kissing?” Glen pressed.

Timmy frowned as if he didn't know how to answer. “All right, I guess.”

Glen's hand tightened around Jody's. She noticed for the first time that he was nervous, which was something she suspected happened only rarely. Her gaze met his and he smiled weakly.

“Glen and I want to talk to you about us getting married,” Jody said, surprised by how shallow her voice sounded. Saying the words aloud for the first time caused her heart to pound at a fast rate, as if she were walking up a steep hill. In many ways she was, and the anticipation of this new path she'd chosen suddenly felt momentous.

“Does this mean we'd be a family?”

Jody nodded.

“I'd be your stepfather,” Glen explained.

Timmy frowned at that. “But we'd still be a family?”

“Of course we would. Isn't that what you wanted?” Jody sensed Timmy's uncertainty and wanted to reassure him that there was nothing on this earth that would ever change her love for him.

“Would you have more babies like Rich's mom?”

Jody released her breath and looked at Glen. They hadn't discussed the prospect of having children.

“I'd like that very much,” Glen answered for her. “But we'll leave the decision up to your mother.”

“What do you think, Timmy, would you like it if Glen and I married?” Jody experienced the strongest need to break down and cry. It felt like a band around her chest that tightened more with each second.

“Sure, that would be great. Glen could help me be a better pitcher and then you wouldn't miss my dad so much. It'd be nice to be part of a real family.”

Jody bit back the words that claimed they were already a
real
family, he and she together.

“It's settled, then,” Glen said, “your mother and I are officially engaged. You know what this means now, don't you, Timmy? Another set of grandparents and aunts and uncles that you'll need to meet.” He placed his arm around Jody's shoulder and squeezed gently.

The phone pealed just then and Jody knew in her heart that it was her mother-in-law. Bracing herself, she stood and reached for the phone.

Her guess was accurate.

“I want to apologize for our conversation the other night,” Gloria said, sounding calm and collected. It was almost as if the fog in her mind had cleared.

“We both said things we regret,” Jody assured her. “This is a difficult time for us.”

“Oh, no,” Gloria corrected, “you're wrong, my dear. Life couldn't be more beautiful. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, and more so now than ever before.”

“Mine too. Remember the year you joined Timmy and me. We wish your health was better so you could travel more.”

“Jeff always enjoyed the holidays,” she said.

Discussing her dead husband just then, minutes after she'd announced her engagement to another man, was more than Jody could bear.

“Mom, there's something you should know,” she said quickly. “Something wonderful has happened and other than Timmy you're the first one to hear.” She didn't mean to announce her engagement like this, but she couldn't think of any other way to divert Gloria from speaking about Jeff.

“You do sound excited and rightly so.”

“I told you earlier I'd met another man.”

Jody waited for some acknowledgment but none came. “We decided we want to be married,” Jody said, “and have set the date for January.”

“Married!” Gloria shrieked. “But you can't, you can't! What about Jeff?”

“If Jeff were alive why wouldn't he contact me or Timmy?” she asked reasonably.

“He's been very sick and weak. I haven't talked to him myself yet, but the German official told me he's recovering and asking about you and Timmy.”

“Mom, give me the phone number of the person you're talking to and I'll contact him myself.”

“I'm sorry, dear, I don't have it. But everything he's said is true, I swear it's true, Jeff's alive. You've got to believe me. You've got to break your engagement before Jeff learns you're involved with another man.”

“Mom, this is a cruel hoax. We buried Jeff, remember?” Jody gently reminded her.

It was as if Gloria hadn't heard her. “What am I supposed to tell my son when he phones? I demand that you tell this other man you've changed your mind. No, no, I'll tell him for you. He'll listen to me.”

“Mom, please,” Jody pleaded, her voice low and trembling.

Glen was standing next to her then, his arm around his shoulder. Gently he took the receiver from her hand, and explained that he was the man Jody was marrying. Naturally she couldn't hear her former mother-in-law's response.

Jody turned into his arm and buried her face in his shoulder.

“Grandma thinks my dad's alive?” Timmy asked, when Glen had hung up the receiver.

Jody was trembling too hard to respond. Glen continued to hold her, patting her back. “Your grandmother wants it to be true so badly that she's convinced herself your father is still alive,” Glen explained, when it was apparent Jody was in no condition to do so.

Somehow they made it through dinner, although the three of them took turns attempting to make a festive occasion of it. Glen tried the hardest. Timmy made an effort as well, and Jody too, however feeble. She was grateful when Glen claimed he was working on the brief for an important case and left shortly after they'd finished clearing the table.

Jody walked him to the door. “I'm sorry about Gloria.”

“Don't worry,” he said, pressing his forehead to hers. “We'll get through this.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently.

Jody let him out the door and watched until Glen's car was out of sight. He was a good man, a decent man, but she didn't feel any great passion for him. She smiled sadly and realized she'd been lucky enough to know about love from Jeff. Love wasn't the reason she and Glen had decided to marry. They cared deeply for each other, shared the same goals, and were comfortable with one another. A lot of marriages had far less.

“I'm done with my homework,” Timmy said some time later. Jody had finished the dishes and was busy writing out Christmas cards. She was later than usual this year.

“Are you telling everyone about Glen?” Timmy surprised her by asking. He reached for the top card and read her brief note.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I thought we'd send out announcements later. I've already mailed out half my cards and it doesn't seem fair that half my friends know and half don't.”

Timmy nodded as if her reasoning made perfect sense to him. He plopped his elbows on the table and tucked his chin in his hands as he watched her work.

“You know what I wish?”

“What?” she asked absently, thinking he was about to add another item to his detailed Christmas list.

“I wish what Grandma Potter said was true. I wish my dad was alive.”

Jody's hand stilled as her fingers tightened around the pen. “I do too, sweetheart.”

“W
ell, what do you think?” Shirley said, looking anxiously to Goodness. “Gabriel insists the winds of trouble are brewing, but I can't see it. Jody's engaged and from everything I can see Glen Richardson is a perfect match for her and Timmy.”

Goodness, who was poised atop the Christmas tree, slowly shook her head. “You don't know very much about humans and love, do you?”

“Not really.”

“After tracking Monica and Chet I could write a book.”

“What's wrong with Jody and Glen?” Shirley asked impatiently. “They're great friends.”

“I noticed, and that's a great place to
start
a relationship.”

“If you're going to tell me Jody's still in love with Jeff, I'll agree with you. Good grief, I never dreamed this assignment would be so difficult. I do everything Gabriel wants and then he sends me hightailing it back to earth, claiming trouble's afoot. But he won't tell me where.”

“It's obvious,” Goodness said. “Glen doesn't love her either.”

“Now, I sincerely doubt that. Glen's crazy about Jody.”

“It's the little boy,” Goodness said gently. “Glen's impatient for a family, and Jody has one ready-made for him.”

“I disagree.” Shirley might have been new at this business, but she didn't doubt Glen's honorable intentions for an instant.

“Why don't we check him out and see for ourselves,” Goodness suggested. “I'll help you and then maybe you can help me. I'm having troubles of my own.”

They left Timmy's house and had no problem locating Glen's. “He told her he was working on a brief,” Shirley explained.

Glen was sitting at his desk, a pen poised in his hands, but he seemed to be having trouble. They watched for several moments while he did nothing more than stare into space.

“What's he doing?” Goodness whispered.

“I don't know. He seems to be thinking.”

“Doesn't he know that will only get him into trouble?”

Shirley smiled. “I guess not. Look, he's opening a drawer.”

Glen's shoulders heaved with a deep sigh as he removed a photograph from the bottom drawer. Goodness and Shirley looked over his shoulder. The photograph was that of a beautiful young woman with long black hair that cascaded over her shoulders.

“There's your trouble,” Goodness whispered. “Glen's in love with another woman.”

Chapter 17

T
his wasn't going to be easy. Monica had carefully steeled herself for the coming confrontation with Chet. She stood outside his office door, her heart pounding hard and fast.

Fervently she prayed she was doing the right thing. All she knew was that she couldn't leave matters between them the way they were.

She could hear movement and knew Chet was there. She drew in a deep breath, knocked, turned the door handle, and stepped inside.

Chet was standing in front of his file cabinet, tossing one file after the other into a large cardboard container. Boxes were piled high on every bit of available space. His desk was clear, and the infamous calendar was down.

He was moving. Leaving Seattle. Leaving her.

“I won't be taking on any new—” He stopped abruptly when he saw it was Monica. For one all-too-brief moment tenderness flashed in his eyes, but that was quickly replaced with practiced hardness. His gaze became sharp and dangerous like that of a cornered animal that was prepared to lash out in order to protect itself.

“What are you doing here?” he said.

“My father wanted me to apologize,” she began haltingly. “He never intended to offend you.”

“You've apologized, now go.”

What gave her to courage to stay, Monica would never know. “Why are you moving?”

He didn't answer, but continued working at a furious pace, lifting several thick folders at a time, carelessly tossing them into the box.

“Where are you going?” she asked, trying a different vein.

“Away. Monica,” her name was little more than a frustrated sigh, “please, just go. Don't make this any more difficult than it already is.”

“All right,” she agreed and he visibly relaxed at her words. “If you answer one question.”

“It's over,” he said with sharp impatience. “Leave it at that.”

“I can't.” Monica had honestly tried to accept that he wanted her out of his life. But no matter how hard she struggled to find acceptance none would come.

“I'm not going to debate the issue with you.”

“Just tell me why you don't want my love,” she said forcefully. “Tell me what it is about me—”

“It has nothing to do with you. The problem is mine.”

“Then tell me. I need to know.” Despite her efforts to the contrary, her voice cracked with the strain of emotion.

Chet moved as if he were in pain, slowly and with difficulty. His back was to her as he stared out the window. Monica stayed where she was by the door, trembling and hating herself for subjecting them to this torment a second time.

The room seemed to spark with tension.

“I know you love me,” she whispered. “You can't make me believe you don't. There has to be something more.”

“I'm not good enough for you,” he shouted. “Now for the love of God get out of here.”

“No,” she said softly. “Not until you tell me why you aren't good enough.”

“Monica, please.”

She walked over and stood next to him. He was so close she could feel his frustration. It seemed to come off him in waves.

“Why aren't you good enough?” she asked again.

Chet's hands were braced against the windowsill, his knuckles white. A war was being waged within him and the battle seemed to be a fierce one. When he turned to face her, his eyes were dull with pain.

“I murdered a man,” he shouted. “There, you know, now leave.” He pointed toward the door, his face growing red and angry. “Get out of my life, understand, before I ruin yours too.”

The force of his anger rocked her, but Monica stood her ground. “I don't know the circumstances,” she said shakily, “but if you killed him, then he must have deserved to die.”

Chet jerked back as if she'd slapped him.

“It doesn't matter what you've done, I'll always love you.”

“No,” Chet cried, and then reached for her, hauling her into his arms. The strength of his embrace all but crushed her, but Monica didn't care. There wasn't anyplace else she would rather be than with Chet. He seemed to be drinking in her softness, as if it were as vital to him in that moment as oxygen.

After a short while, he released a harsh shudder and relaxed his hold enough for her to breathe comfortably. He brushed the hair from her temple and kissed her there. “I'll always love you, too,” he whispered brokenly.

It felt like heaven to be in his arms. For the first time in days Monica felt whole, as if the part of her that had been missing had been found.

“You're right when you say he deserved to die. He was a drug lord and brought misery to thousands all for the sake of money and power. An easy death was too good for him. He deserved to suffer.”

“Are you wanted by the police?”

He shook his head and laughed shortly. “No, I was too smart for that. I goaded him into a fight and I knew, being the weasel he was, he'd go for his weapon. He did, but I was ready. After an investigation, it was decided that I acted in self-defense, but I knew the truth. I murdered him just as if I'd waited in a dark alley and shot him in the back. He didn't have a chance.”

“The gunshot wound,” she said, flattening her hand over the scar on Chet's shoulder. She could feel it even through the material of his shirt. “That was when you were shot, wasn't it?”

“No,” Chet told her. “Not then.”

“He scared you, though, didn't he? Tell me what he did to you.”

“None of that matters.” He released her then abruptly as if he feared her touch, and backed away. “You got the answer you wanted, now go.”

“But, Chet—”

“Go.”

Monica flinched. “All right, but there's something you should know.”

“How much more of this is there?”

“Not much, I promise you.” Her voice wobbled a bit, but with the strength of her pride she managed to keep it under control. “There'll never be anyone who loves you more than I do.”

“Monica.” He groaned. “Stop, please. This isn't necessary.”

“It is for me, so do me the courtesy of listening. Someday you're going to look back on your life and regret this moment.”

“The only thing I regret is not moving sooner. Another twenty-four hours and I would have been out of here. You couldn't have waited one stinking day for this, could you?”

“No,” she threw back at him. She didn't know when the tears came, but she felt their moisture against her face and brushed them aside. “I'll haunt you . . . or rather, my love will. I swear that's what will happen. It doesn't matter if you travel to the other side of the world, I'll be there. It's my face you'll see when you look at another woman. And . . . and when you sleep, I'll be there each and every night. You won't be able to close your eyes without thinking of me, without knowing you walked away from the one woman in all this world who loves you.”

“Damn it,” Chet stormed, his hands knotted into tight fists. “Next you're going to tell me that you're going to sacrifice your life for me. Listen, Monica, I don't want you sitting here, believing that something's going to happen that will change my mind. It's over, understand? Over.”

“Don't worry,” she whispered and her shoulders quivered. “That's what I came to tell you. I won't be waiting for you, I can't, Chet. I've wasted too much of my life already.”

“Good,” he snapped. “That's just the way I want it.”

J
ody had dreaded the office Christmas party for days. She never had been one who enjoyed these types of social gatherings, and generally didn't stay beyond the first few minutes. Glen, however, thought the party the ideal time to announce their engagement to their peers.

He'd presented her with a lovely engagement ring, a solitaire diamond that was large enough to feel heavy and awkward on her finger. She'd removed Jeff's wedding ring years earlier, not because of any desire to put that part of her life behind her, but to satisfy her parents. Both were worried about her and although she'd hated it, she'd placed the simple gold band in her jewelry box to appease them.

She could tell from the sounds drifting from the reception area that the party was underway. There were enough goodies to feed a small Third World country. Everyone had contributed something. Jody was guilty of overdoing it herself, bringing a large homemade cheese roll and several dozen gingerbread cookies Timmy had helped her bake the night before.

Her mother was watching Timmy, and insisted Jody stay late and enjoy herself. Because she was with Glen, she was obligated to remain as long as her fiancé wanted.

Glen came looking for her, his smile gentle. “You ready?” he asked.

“Give me a moment to freshen up first, all right?”

“Sure,” he said agreeably.

It seemed for a couple engaged to be married, neither of them revealed a high degree of enthusiasm. Glen looked tired. Jody knew he was working hard on a difficult case and put a lot of time and effort into his client's defense, but she strongly suspected his fatigue was something more than his workload.

The restroom was several doors down the hall. Jody walked past a number of offices and wondered how many other Christmas parties were going on in the building that night.

She'd just stepped into a cubicle in the ladies' room when she heard two women.

“You're sure he's engaged?” the first voice asked.

“Yes. Lily took a good deal of delight in relaying the details to me.” The second woman sounded shaken and very close to tears.

Jody bit down on her lower lip. Lily was an attorney who worked with Glen. Was it possible the two were referring to Glen and her? She wondered what she should do, or if she should say something.

“Honestly, Maryann, what did you expect Glen to do? You told him in no uncertain terms that you weren't interested in marriage.”

Maryann.
This was the woman Glen had mentioned, the one he'd once loved. Jody squeezed her eyes closed and tried to remember the particulars of his and Maryann's romance. All she could recall was that Glen was convinced Maryann didn't love him. Breaking off the relationship had devastated him. It was this common ground of loss in which their own relationship had been rooted.

“I . . . I assumed we could live together,” Maryann told her friend. “Couples do that these days, you know, test the waters to see if they're compatible. It seemed to be a reasonable thing to do in light of all the divorce cases I've handled over the years. Oh, damn,” she said, “I hate it when I cry. Look what it's doing to my makeup.”

“What are you going to do?”

“About what?”

Maryann's voice faded and Jody assumed that was because she was studying her reflection in the mirror.

“You aren't going to let him go ahead with the wedding, are you?”

“How can I stop him?” Maryann asked.

“Tell him the truth.”

Maryann hesitated, and when she spoke Jody could hear her tears. “I don't even know what the truth is anymore.”

“Tell him you're in love with him.”

“It's too late for that. Oh, Shelly, honestly, you're too much of a romantic to realize love doesn't automatically fix everything.”

“It does if you're both willing to work at it,” Maryann's friend insisted.

Afraid of eavesdropping any longer Jody walked out of the cubicle. It was then that the two women realized they weren't alone. Embarrassed, they both avoided looking in Jody's direction. Taking advantage of their surprise, Jody quietly slipped out of the restroom.

She returned to her office, walking past the merrymakers, needing some time alone to absorb what she'd learned. Sitting at her desk, she closed her eyes and tried to reason out what she should do.

The answer should have been far less complex than she was making it. Her sense of fairness said she needed to break off the engagement and explain what she'd heard to Glen. It was an ironic twist that in all the time she'd worked in the building she would meet Maryann now and overhear the conversation she had.

Yet there was a part of her that yearned to give her son the father he longed for, the man who would gently guide him through life. Timmy enjoyed Glen's company so very much. Her son had never been happier than the last few weeks when she'd been dating the attorney.

The real question was if Jody had it in her to grab hold of happiness, however limited, at the expense of another. Having placed the question in that frame, she knew instantly that she had no choice.

“I thought I saw you,” Glen said, stepping into the small office. “What are you doing back here?”

Jody looked up from her desk and blinked, surprised to see him.

“What's wrong?” Glen asked. He was a gentle, sensitive man, Jody realized, and she was going to miss him dreadfully. But not nearly as much as Timmy would.

“Sit down,” Jody said.

“Jody?” His eyes held hers as he sat.

She stared down at her hand and the beautiful diamond. Before she could find an excuse, she slipped the ring from her finger. “I should never have accepted this,” she whispered.

“Why not?”

She held the ring out to Glen, but he didn't take it.

“We aren't in love,” Jody said and her chest tightened with regret. “You're a special man and you deserve a woman who will love and treasure you with all her heart.”

“You're that woman,” Glen insisted.

“We both know that isn't true. If there was anything special about me, it was the fact that I have a son. Timmy was the real attraction. He represents the family you've always wanted. The son you long to have. I made a mistake too,” she said, expelling her breath in a rush. “I hurried matters and all but proposed to you myself, long before either of us was ready for a committed relationship. I'm not exactly sure why I found it so urgent for us to marry so soon. Especially when I realized neither of us is anywhere near being ready.”