A Second Chance (2 page)

When Madeline had given birth to
Eduardo, Emily gave her and Carlos the bassinet for their children.
Now it was Tyler’s turn. “I guess Clara was the last one to sleep
in it,” Madeline reminisced.

“
I can’t believe she’s
eleven.”

“
Tell me about it. The boys
are both teenagers.” She looked at Regan. “I’m not that old, am
I?”

Regan touched her arm. “Heavens,
no.”

They laughed, but when Tyler stirred,
they both stopped and watched.

“
I fed him only fifteen
minutes ago. He should be pretty happy for now. Would you like to
hold him?”

“
Oh, Regan, he’s sleeping.
Don’t bother him.”

“
Give me a break. You drove
forty-five minutes out here to see him. I know you, Madeline. You
came to hold the baby.” Regan reached for her son. “He’ll sleep
just as fine in your arms as he will in that bassinet.”

She adjusted the blanket around him as
she handed him to Madeline.

Madeline sat down on the couch with
the baby, who cooed against her. “He’s so perfect.”

“
He is, isn’t he?” Regan
adjusted into the corner of the couch and relaxed.

“
Eduardo had hair like
this.” She smoothed her hand over Tyler’s thick, dark hair.
“Christian and Clara were both bald. Remember?” Regan nodded her
answer with a yawn. “Time flies.”

She let him wrap his tiny hand around
her finger, and she felt the tug in her heart. It seemed so long
ago when Carlos had sat by her side in the hospital and they
admired their first baby. “I wonder if his hair will stay dark like
yours or if he’ll get his daddy’s light hair.”

“
Hmmm,” was all Regan said.
Her head had cocked to the back of the couch, and her eyes had
closed. Madeline simply smiled and sat quietly. She’d been there
too. It would never cease to amaze her how mothers did it. They
could go and go with no sleep and provide the essentials that their
babies needed. But when exhaustion took over, it was like running
right into a wall.

The struggles of motherhood were just
like the cancer that was taking over her body. In order to survive
it, she would have to love herself as she loved her children. She
would need to have hope, just as she had when her children became
their own people and began to experience new things. And she’d need
to remember to take care of herself as she’d neglected to do for
the past fifteen years while she doted on her own babies. It would
be easier if Carlos were there with her.

“
Well, little man, you’ve
been born into one of the most wonderful families in the world.
You’ll be well taken care of,” she whispered, kissing him atop the
head and wondering if she’d see him grow up.

“
You look natural doing
that,” Carlos said from the doorway, watching her.

His voice startled her, and she froze,
trying not to wake the baby as her heart pounded in her chest.
“Dear God, you scared me to death.” She tried to ease back into the
couch without stirring Tyler. She looked up at the man who had once
captured her heart and somehow continued to do so. His long, lean
body and handfuls of wavy black hair played with her imagination
too often. “How long have you been standing there?”

“
A few minutes. Did you
knock her out?” He nodded toward his sister.

Madeline let out a sigh. “She’s so
tired. I was surprised Audrey or your mother weren’t here to help
her.”

“
Yeah, right. You know
Regan. She wanted to do it alone. Besides, Audrey had a hair
appointment.”

“
Where are the
kids?”

“
They’re putting their
things in your car. I told them to stay outside so they didn’t
bother the baby. Clara is pouting, but the boys are fine with
it.”

Madeline looked back down at the
sleeping baby in her arms. “Well, sweetheart, I guess I’d better
go. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

“
You don’t have to put him
down. Stay as long as you’d like.”

“
Oh, I should get them home
and settled.” She rose and put Tyler back in the bassinet. She laid
a kiss on her fingers and gently pressed it to his cheek.
“Good-bye.”

She stood from the bassinet and felt
the room begin to spin around her.

“
Whoa.” Carlos was at her
side steadying her. “Are you all right?”

“
Yeah.” She tried to regain
her balance. “I’m fine.”

“
You don’t look so well. Why
don’t you sit down?” He held tight to her arms.

“
I really should be
going.”

“
Madeline, there’s no need
for you to run. You’re still part of this family.”

She smiled and nodded. The entire
Keller family had always made her feel right at home, even after
she and Carlos had divorced.

She took a deep breath and soaked in
the feeling of Carlos’s hands on her. She missed him, and that, on
top of everything that was happening to her, wasn’t helping her
steady her emotions. Instead, his nearness and the heat of his body
were stirring up feelings she had no right to have, not
anymore.

“
I’m okay now.” She reached
her hand toward his chest, but he didn’t let her go.

Carlos’s eyes scanned over her slowly.
“You’re sick. You should let me call Curtis and have him come look
at you.”

“
No.” She shook her head.
“You’re not calling your brother to come and check up on me. I’m
fine. I’m just coming down with something. All the better reason
for me to go home before I get this little man sick.” She looked
back down at the baby sleeping in the family bassinet. The sadness
inside her stirred again. What she wouldn’t give to hold her
children and watch them sleep with Carlos by her side once
more.

Carlos steadied his eyes on hers and
then stepped back. “If you need me, you call.”

“
I will.”

“
Let Matt know what
happened.”

Madeline nodded. Once she had turned
to Matt for comfort—whom was she going to turn to now that he was
gone? “Thanks for meeting me out here with the kids.”

“
Sure. Oh, by the way, Mom
says there’s still room for two more at the table on Thanksgiving.
You and Matt are welcome to come.”

“
Thank her for me, will you?
I think I’ll just have a quiet Thanksgiving at home. I’ll bring the
kids by on Thursday morning after we watch the parade.”

“
The parade. Still your most
favorite thing on TV?”

“
And it always will be,” she
said, smiling, thinking about the time Carlos had maxed out every
credit card they had to make sure she witnessed it live on the
streets of New York. That was a lifetime ago, she reminded herself.
Too bad she’d fought him over it instead of realizing the sentiment
behind it.

She touched his arm as she walked past
him, and then hurried out to her car where her children waited for
her. Their smiles took away the pain she’d been feeling. Even when
everything around her seemed to be shattering, she still had her
children.

Panic suddenly filled her, and she
fought back the emotions that were clawing at her. She wondered how
long she had left to be their mother.

Carlos waved as the car disappeared
down the long drive. The pain that ripped through him each time
they passed off the kids was back. It had been five years. He’d
thought it would get easier, but it never did.

They’d had a family together. That was
supposed to be forever.

As he walked back into the room, Regan
stirred awake. “Did I fall asleep?”

“
Yeah. Tyler graduated from
college yesterday, and now he’s getting married.”

“
Smart–ass.” She laughed as
she sat up. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep while she was here. That
was rude of me.”

“
That’s what she
said.”

“
Liar, she’d never say a
mean thing ever.” She looked down at her son and smiled. “He’s so
perfect.”

“
He really is. When will
Zach be home?”

“
He’s finishing up a meeting
with John Forrester. He’ll be home in an hour or so.”

“
Will you be
okay?”

“
Yeah, I’m fine. Go if you
need to.”

He shoved his hands into the front
pockets of his jeans. “Kathy’s making a special dinner
tonight.”

“
Things are going well
between the two of you?” Regan tucked her feet under her and smiled
up at him.

“
Yeah. It’s been long
enough. It’s time for me to move on, don’t you think?”

“
Only if you’re ready.” Her
voice was soft and all too knowing.

He had to be ready. It still hurt to
watch Madeline live a happy life without him. He was dying inside,
and he needed to find that kind of love again. “I’m ready, Reg.
It’s been five years. I’m tired of wondering what happened to my
perfect marriage. She moved on. She remarried. I need to fall in
love, and I need to move on.”

“
And you’re in love with
Kathy?”

“
I didn’t say that.” The
word
love
twisted
his gut. “I’m just willing to feel it out. I like her a
lot.”

“
She’s a nice
woman.”

“
Good, I have my little
sister’s blessing.” He bent to kiss her on the cheek. “Take care of
my little man. Uncle Carlos will come back out
tomorrow.”

“
You’re worse than Mom,” she
called after him as he left the room.

“
Bite your tongue,” he
hollered back.

The drive back from Regan and Zach’s
was long and loud. The kids had been with their father for the
week. Even though she’d spoken to them each night, they all had
their own set of stories they wanted to tell her, and all at the
same time.

Clara had aced her spelling test.
Christian scored twelve points in his basketball game. Eduardo had
only two hundred and forty-five days until he could drive. She
smiled at him and shook her head.

“
That’s only if your father
and I agree to it.”

“
He’ll agree. I’d be able to
help out. Just think about it, Mom. I could get everyone to school
and back and forth between your house and dad’s house. Really, Mom,
I’m only thinking about you.”

She reached across the car and laid
her hand on her son’s arm. These were the moments she had to fight
for. “Son, you are the most thoughtful thing.”

“
Kathy says that by the time
he’s got his license, maybe she’ll be in the market for a new car,”
Clara offered.

Madeline swallowed hard. Kathy. She
could feel the tears stinging her eyes behind her sunglasses, and
she forced them back.

She was more than familiar with the
name. Clara had taken to the woman, and the boys thought she was
nice enough. In her heart, she knew she should be happy for her
ex-husband, but she just couldn’t be.

She’d been the one to remarry less
than a year after they’d divorced. Even worse, she’d married his
best friend and ruined that relationship. Now she was alone, and
Carlos had finally found happiness. She deserved that, she decided.
Karma was a tricky thing. You might have thought what you did was
right, but in the end you end up alone and dying.

“
Mom, are you okay?” Eduardo
reached his hand to her shoulder.

“
I’m fine,
sweetie.”

“
You’re spacing out. Want me
to drive?”

“
You can drive me home in
two hundred and forty-five days,” she said, feeling the tension in
her shoulders build as they turned into their neighborhood and
drove into the driveway.

Matt’s car was gone, and she wondered
how long it would take for one of them to notice that so was
everything else Matt owned.

It took exactly sixteen
minutes.

“
Mom! Where is the Wii?”
Christian called from the family room.

Madeline squeezed her eyes tight and
took a deep breath as she stood over the sink in the
kitchen.

“
It’s gone. It’s all gone!
The Wii, the games, the guitars!” He ran through the door to the
kitchen. “Mom, even Matt’s chair is gone. I think someone broke
into the house.”

Clara was right on his heels, and
Eduardo flew down the stairs from his room when he heard the
chaos.

Madeline sucked up her courage and
straightened her spine. When she turned, three sets of dark eyes
watched her. “Why don’t you all sit down? Let’s talk.”

They didn’t say another word. Madeline
knew they could see the pain in her face. She’d explain everything
about Matt, but until she had a solid path toward treatment, she
wasn’t about to mention the cancer.

She sat down at the kitchen table with
her children and set her clasped hands on the top. “Matt moved
out.”

They said nothing, but their eyes were
open wide. Clara began to cry.

Madeline swallowed hard. “He’s asked
me for a divorce. I have the papers and I just have to sign
them.”

Eduardo reached across the table and
touched her hand. “Mom, why? Did we do something wrong?”