A Shade Of Vampire 4: A Shadow Of Light (18 page)

The black haze in my mind was beginning to clear, desperation and guilt over what I’d just done beginning to sink in. Still squeezing Felix’s beating heart in my hand, I stood to my full height and raised my eyes only to feel the darkness once again attempt to grip at me. My blood started pounding, because right there in front of me, with her mouth agape, stood Sofia.

I dropped the heart on the ground. I wanted to take her in my arms, breathe in her scent, feel her body against mine, hear her words, touch her…see if she was really there, but more than that, I wanted to sink my teeth into her neck and drink. Drink
deep.

I can’t live without her and yet I can’t be with her either. Sofia Claremont is going to lead me to my ruin.

Confused, I did the only thing I could do to keep Sofia safe. I ran. My heart ached when I heard her softly whisper my name and say: “I love you.”

I stood frozen as I watched Derek leave. I could sense my father standing right beside me. I knew that he saw what I had seen even though I got to the port ahead of him. He saw how Derek killed another vampire so easily. I could see the spark of horror in his eyes when he saw that beating heart clutched in Derek’s hand.

I couldn’t even begin to fathom what was going through his mind
—especially when Derek took one look at me, gulped and bolted out of the place like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

This was nothing like the reunion I had in mind. I hadn’t even realized how much I was pining for Derek until I was standing right in front of him, and while I was expecting to get a kiss
—or even just a hug, I got nothing. I stood there, rooted to my spot, not quite knowing how to process the emotions coursing through me.

Xavier and Ian remained with us
—along with Sam and Kyle, who were the guards who fetched us from the shore and took us to the island. Xavier and Ian exchanged uncomfortable glances before nodding my way.

“This is awkward,” Ian muttered. “But it’s great to see you again, Sofia.”
He seemed to hesitate before approaching me and giving me a short hug. “It’s been crazy here since you left,” he whispered in my ear, before stepping away from me and giving Aiden a short glance.

Xavier
scratched his head. “Welcome back to all this chaos, Sofia. You’ll find that The Shade is not the same as it was when you left. I’m assuming
this
…” He eyed Aiden. “Is your father, the infamous Reuben… Was he told that the humans who come into The Shade never get out?”

I knew that he was trying to joke around in order to lighten an otherwise tense situation, but the joke fell flat
—especially when Aiden’s nostrils flared at the slightest notion of him being imprisoned there.

“Relax,
Dad,” I told him. “He’s joking.”

I then turned to Xavier.
“There’s someone back at the sub, whom I know you’d love to see again. She needs her rest and she’s not exactly in perfect shape, but Vivienne is…”

He didn’t even wait for me to finish. He was out of there and running to the submarine the moment her name escaped my lips.

“Look who’s back…” Sam said, with not a single hint of enthusiasm in his tone.

Claudia had just emerged from the submarine. She rolled her eyes at Sam, never really being one who cared much for the younger vampires. She always did love being one of the Elite and didn’t bother much with those she perceived as lesser than her. Still, when she realized that she didn’t have many allies in that room and that the lowly guard was the only one
acknowledged her presence, she heaved a sigh and asked him anyway, “How’s Yuri?”

Sam
frowned in surprise. “Fine, I guess.”

Right about then, a familiar face appeared from the entrance to the
port. I couldn’t help but squeal with delight at the sight of her.

“Ashley!
”

She responded in kind,
shouting my name out as we embraced each other. For everything we’d been through at The Shade and despite the fact that she was now an immortal vampire, the two of us were still teenagers, unafraid to express our delight upon seeing a long-lost friend.

“Sam told me you were coming today,” she
said enthusiastically as she squeezed me tight.

“
Ow… Ashley…” I complained. “You’re a vampire now. You’re stronger than you were before.”

“Oops…”
She pulled away from me and grimaced. “Sorry. I still forget sometimes. I was planning to hang out here at the port to wait for you, but Felix had to choose the port as the place to hold his negotiations with Derek.” She wrinkled her nose. “Where is he anyway?”

“He bolted the moment he saw me. We arrived just in time to see him do
that
.” I pointed at Felix’s heartless body on the ground.

Ashley
eyed the corpse. “I think we need to get someone to get this mess fixed up.”

“Kyle’s on it,” Sam assured her.

I couldn’t help but notice the way their eyes lingered on each other’s before Ashley blushed and looked away.

Aiden cleared his throat to make his presence
—largely ignored—known.

“Sorry… Ashley, this is my father, Aiden Claremont. This is Ashley. She’s one of my dearest friends here.”

Ashley extended her hand for Aiden to shake, but he just stared at it. “You’re a vampire too,” he said flatly.

Ashley nervously began fumbling with her fingers. “Yes, sir. I’m the youngest vampire here at
The Shade, so I’m also probably the easiest one to kill…” She furrowed her brows as if wondering to herself why she had just said that. “I used to be a hunter too… Well, I wasn’t a very good one…”

“Yes. I thought you looked familiar.”

Right about then, Xavier emerged, carrying a frail Vivienne in his arms, her head leaned against his broad shoulders. A flash of anger shone through his eyes as he caught sight of Aiden—a clear signal that a riff had just been created between the two when Xavier found out what the hunters had been doing to the woman he cared deeply for.

“I’m taking her home,” he announced. “You can stay here and wait for Derek to get himself some self-control, or you can come with me.” He then gave Aiden a glare. “I’m not sure Derek wants him
on the island.”

“He’s fine, Xavier. What can he do to anyone while he’s here?”

“
You’re
responsible for him, Sofia.”

I nodded before daring to take a glimpse of my father. He had a grim expression on his face and knowing him, I was aware that he
hated being talked about like he wasn’t even present.

“What are we going to do with her?” Sam asked
, eyeing Claudia warily.

“Take her to
The Cells.” Xavier shrugged. “I don’t really care.”

“No…” I shook my head. “She can come with me for now.”

Xavier seemed surprised by this, but didn’t bother to object. He just went ahead to Vivienne’s penthouse and we followed soon after.

My father walked beside me, silently taking in the darkness of
The Shade, not breathing a word. Ashley, on the other hand, chattered nonstop, updating me on what had been going on at The Shade. Sam and Claudia trailed behind us, the latter looking much like a lost little girl pining for home. I kept glancing back to check on her. I noticed how she looked at all the vampires we passed, almost as if she were wishing each of them would somehow morph into Yuri.

“Do you have any idea where Yuri is?” I eventually asked Ashley.

She shrugged and shook her head. “The last time I saw him was when we quelled the siege at the port. He keeps mostly to himself and only comes out when Derek calls for him.” She caught the direction of my eyes and looked back at Claudia. “What’s up with her?”

“She’s in love with Yuri,” I told Ashley.

At this, the blonde cheerleader-turned-vampire raised a brow. “Wow. That’s new. Claudia actually caring for someone other than herself…”

“I don’t think she realized
it until after she was away from him. He’d always been there for her through the years. She took that for granted.”

“Silly girl…” Ashley muttered under her breath.

“I remember now…”

I practically jumped out of my skin when Aiden spoke up. I glanced up at him and realized that he was looking at Ashley as we continued to walk past the giant redwoods
.

“What?” I asked my d
ad.

“Ashley… You were the daughter of James and Helen…your mother used to say that a lot about you
: ‘Silly girl.’”

Despite the dimness of our surroundings, lit up only by the light of the moon and the incandescent lighting that lined the pathways, I could tell that Ashley blushed at the reminder of her parents.

“My mother always thought that I was stupid for not wanting to join in their cause and become a hunter.”

“Your father would have a field day if he ever found out that you’d become a vampire. Do you have any idea how rattled they were when you disappeared?”

“I think you and I both know that I would’ve made a lousy hunter,” Ashley responded, her voice sounding a bit choked.

“Maybe so, but being a lousy hunter certainly doesn’t mean that
you can just go ahead and become the enemy.”

“The
enemy
? Remember where you are, Reuben. You don’t say things like that and expect to get out alive.”

Aiden raised a brow at Ashley. “Is
that
a threat, girl?”

At that, Ashley chuckled. “I would never dare threaten you, Reuben. Vampire or not, I have no delusions of ever winning a fight with you. I do give you a friendly warning.”

“A friendly warning…”

“Be careful, Reuben. Stay here long enough and you just might end up turning into one of us.”

Before my father could respond, I noticed how his eyes suddenly widened and his jaw slightly dropped. We’d just reached the Residences and for all the time I spent at The Shade—becoming familiar with it—I’d forgotten how gorgeous the lavish villas constructed on top of the giant trees were. We had around us a bustling community of vampires going about their business.

“This is incredible,” Aiden mouthed the first compliment
—and perhaps the last one—he could possibly give to a community of vampires. “We’ve attacked many covens before and I thought The Oasis was the most impressive, but this… I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“They did well for themselves and for their kind, these
Novaks…” Ashley nodded. “Welcome to The Shade, Mr. Claremont.”

Aiden began walking ahead of us and Ashley took the opportunity to link arms with me. She then whispered
to my ear, “I don’t trust him. Reuben is famous for his hatred of vampires. I think he inherited the loathing from his family. It’s almost like it’s in his bloodline, until…. Well,
you
came along and broke the tradition.” Ashley eyed Aiden warily. “I know he’s your father, Sofia, but I know his kind. A leopard doesn’t just change its spots. He’s not here to help you cure Derek or anyone else. What does that even mean?”

I wanted to explain to Ashley that I saw Ingrid get cured, that the cure was possible, that it was my idea, but then I couldn’t silence my own suspicions about Aiden’s presence at
The Shade either, so all I could say to Ashley was, “I don’t fully trust him either, Ash.”

“Then why risk us all by bringing him here, Sofia? If he ever finds a way to get the hunters here…we’re all done for…especially considering that the other vampire covens have already declared war on Derek.”

I shrugged, voicing out my own hopes for the first time. “I guess I was hoping that by being here, he could see what we saw here at The Shade.”

Ashley
stopped in her tracks. “And what exactly do we see here?”

“Hope.”

She’s back. She’s here. Sofia has once again found her way back to me.

I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and just
be
with her, but the urge to sink my teeth into the soft skin on her neck became excruciatingly unbearable the moment I laid eyes on her. As if it weren’t already enough that she had come just in time to see me rip Felix’s heart out, I couldn’t risk spending the first few minutes of our reunion drinking down her sweet blood. Still, even as I ran from her, I was keenly aware of how close she was, of how easy it would be for me to just take what I wanted from her.

If I wanted to satisfy my craving, no one could really stop me from doing as I pleased. That’s what scared me so much. Thus, I made my way to the one place with enough power to keep me from harming Sofia.

The Sanctuary.

“Back so soon? Since when can’t you get enough of my company?” Corrine watched me inten
tly, unfazed by the fact that I’d just barged into her study unannounced.

“Sofia is back. She returned with her father and I don’t know who else.
” I sank onto one of the couches inside her study, my head downcast.
“
She returned right after Felix and his men blew up the chilling chambers and I lost it… I blacked out and I ripped Felix’s heart out.”

“The darkness took over?”

“I don’t know what to do, Corrine.”

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do, Derek?” Corrine
snapped. “Your fiancée has just returned. You go to her and you kiss her and you make her feel like she matters. What on earth are you doing here with me?”

“Don’t you think I want to
do that? After all the time we’ve been apart?” I ran a hand through my hair. “I want nothing more than to be with her, Corrine, but did you not hear me? The chilling chambers are gone…along with the blood. There’s
no blood
left—apart from the blood running through the veins of the human beings and animals at The Shade. How on earth am I going to control my craving for Sofia?”

“Well, you’re certainly not going to be able to control it while ranting at me here, Derek. You have to face her and figure it out. One thing’s for sure…you can’t keep running away from her.”

“You’re no help at all. Don’t you have any spell to help quench the craving?” I felt like a child throwing a tantrum as I crossed my arms over my chest, but I was desperate for some sort of cure.

“Didn’t Sofia arrive saying that she and the hunters
have found a cure? If you let her father administer the cure, then you wouldn’t have to come here asking for a spell, sulking like a little boy.”

“Cora would’ve given me a spell
—if one existed. I know she would’ve.”

“I’m
not
Cora. Besides, she was in love with you. You could’ve asked her to jump off the walls of the Crimson Fortress and she would’ve done it. There’s only one person on this island who would do the same thing for you and that’s Sofia.”

“Come with me. Please.” I stood to my feet and quickly approached her, fully intending to drag her all the way to my penthouse if I had to.

“What?! No!”

“Don’t you want to see Sofia? You two are good friends. If you’re there, at least I’ll know that someone is powerful enough to stop me in case I black out and…” I grabbed
Corrine’s wrist and gasped when she quickly withdrew her hand from me and gave me a tight slap right across my face.

“
Pull yourself together, Novak. Sofia Claremont is far stronger than you give her credit for. Man up and give her the welcome she deserves.”

I knew that Corrine was right. I knew I was acting
foolishly, but I couldn’t help it. I was afraid. I was terrified of what I was capable of doing. “How could I ever forgive myself if I cause her more pain than I already have?”

“The same way you forgave yourself all those other times you made her miserable, Novak. You ask for her forgiveness and when you find that she loves you enough to see past what you
’ve done,
that’s
when you’ll be able to forgive yourself.”

I was about to say something else in response, but the witc
h’s brown eyes widened at me, and I shrank away from her.

“Get out of my sight, Novak.”

I left The Sanctuary and took a long walk, my thirst for Sofia’s blood not dwindling for even a moment. I knew I had to face her eventually, and I knew that I had to exercise some form of control—if only to prove to Aiden that his daughter wasn’t in danger around me.

I eventually ended up in my penthouse, knowing that she was nearby, based on the level of thirst I had. I swallowed hard as I stepped into my living room, surprised to find Xavier there. He rose upon seeing me, fists clenched, the expression on his face clearly indicating that he was just about ready to break someone’s neck.

“You don’t look very happy,” was all I could think to say.

“Have you seen her?”

I assumed he was talking about Sofia. “Barely. You were there when she came… I couldn’t stand being in the same room with her.” I could practically hear her heartbeat, pumping blood into her veins, blood that would be pure ecstasy to me once I had a taste of it. “What I would give to…”

“Not her… Not Sofia…” Xavier shook his head. “Vivienne.”

My gut clenched and I took a step forward. “Don’t mess with me, Xavier.”

“She’s alive. I’m not messing with you. She came with Sofia and her father. Claudia’s with them too…” Xavier shook his head. “She’s not looking well…”

“Where is she?” I hissed. I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that Vivienne could possibly be alive. No vampire had ever survived after being taken captive by the hunters before.
Except me, and now there’s Claudia
…
and Vivienne? How is this possible?

“In her bedroom, but so is…”

I knew the warning he was about to give me. Sofia would be there—I had no doubt about it, but I didn’t care. My twin was alive.
Vivienne survived.
At that moment, this was all that mattered to me as I sped toward her penthouse, not caring to listen to the rest of Xavier’s warning… I rushed past the people huddled in my sister’s living room—most of them there to greet Sofia I was sure—and finally reached Vivienne’s bedside.

My senses went on overdrive the moment Sofia’s eyes met mine. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching Vivienne’s hand as she fed Vivienne a vial of blood. For a moment, I couldn’t return my focus back on Vivienne, because Sofia’s presence was so overwhelming.

“Please leave…” I sounded like I was begging her. “I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

Sofia nodded. I knew she understood why I needed to be away from her, but I was also aware that the truth gave little consolation to either one of us.
Still, she graciously obliged, helping my sister drink the last of the blood before sidestepping me and passing by to leave me with Vivienne.

I was using up all my will power just to stand still the moment Sofia passed me by. When the door shut close and she was no longer in the room, I remained rooted to my spot for a few more seconds before I could gather my wits about me and make my way to my sister.

“Vivienne… I thought I’d lost you…” My voice broke as I held her hand.

She seemed frail and weak, a pale shadow of my stunning and vibrant sister, but she managed to smile at me as she squeezed my hand. “Derek… You look incredible.”

“You’re alive.”

“I want to see
Father, Derek. I have something important to tell him.”

My gut clenched. How on earth was I going to
tell her about everything that had been going on between our father and me? How was I to tell her that I took over the kingdom, that I was now king of The Shade and Gregor was in a prison cell?

“Don’t worry
.” Vivienne nodded. “I have a fair idea of what’s happening. That’s why I need to speak with him. It’s a matter of great importance.”

“I’ll see it done
,” I promised.

“War is o
n the horizon, isn’t it?” she asked, her blue violet gaze settling on me with deep concern.

I nodded. “Yes. The other vampire covens are blaming me for what happened at
The Oasis.”

“Sofia told me about that. I’m disappointed that you left her with the hunters, Derek. With everything going on, the burden of finding true sanctuary falls heavily on you. You’re losing time. You can’t afford to be apart from Sofia ever again. You can’t lose sight of light. Sofia
is
your lifeline, Derek.”

“I don’t know how to be with her, Vivienne. I crave her so much. How can she remain by my side without me destroying her?”

My sister smiled at me and gave me a look that made me feel like a stupid fool. “Haven’t you learned your lesson yet? You are not strong enough to be away from Sofia. Darkness will eat you up and swallow you alive. You can last for a certain amount of time as you seemed to have done during this particular time away from her, but darkness
will
catch up with you, Derek. Make no mistake about it. Sofia is stronger than you give her credit for.”

“It’s not her weakness that I’m scared of. It’s
mine
. How do I keep myself from devouring her?”

“Does she deny you her blood, Derek?”

I shook my head, remembering the last time she bared her neck to me, coaxing me to drink, allowing me to have my fill. “She willingly lets me have as much of her blood as I need.”

“Then perhaps it would be better if you just partake of what she offers. Drink deep. Take what she gives.”

“And what do I give her in return for that?” Every bit of me was against what Vivienne was saying. The thought of just going ahead and drinking as much of Sofia’s blood as I craved made me sick. “I love her, Vivienne. How could I do that to her?”

“Maybe that love is enough for her, Derek.” She smiled at me. “I’m tired. I’d like some rest now. Go to her. Stop tormenting yourself. Stop tormenting her.”

She shut her eyes and I stood to my feet before leaning down to place a soft kiss on her temple. No words could express how grateful I was that she was there. I didn’t even want to think about what she had been through—I was certain that I had plenty of time to be righteously indignant over what the hunters had put her through. At that point, I was just thankful that I still had my twin, my ally—another Novak who wasn’t out to torture me or dethrone me.

I stepped out of the room and all eyes were immediately on me. Gavin’s, Ashley’s, Sam’s and Rosa’s. Aiden’s glare was fixed on me even as I shifted my eyes from him to his daughter. I didn’t need to look at Sofia to know that she was there. I was aware of her presence, my
heart pounding at the very scent of her.

I gulped as I looked into her emerald eyes. Vivienne’s words echoed in my ear.
Drink deep.
I lost control. I just snapped. Before I knew what was going on, I had her pinned to a wall, my hands on her hips, raising her up so that she was barely on her tiptoes, my fangs bared, ready to sink into the milky white skin of her neck.

I was about to take the bite I so longed for, but out of nowhere, I still managed to scrounge up what was left of my self-control and step away from her.
My thoughts cleared and suddenly, I could hear her humming. She was humming our song—the same one I hummed to her the night of her eighteenth birthday—the night I promised to stay true to her, to value her, to pursue her, to find a way to be with her.

I stared into her lovely face, looking up at mine, and realized once again how precious she was to me.

“You can control yourself, Derek.” she whispered soothingly as she took my hand in hers.

My fangs retracted and I could feel jolts of pleasure sho
ot through my spine when she reached up and gently pressed her lips against mine. She smiled at me before looking over my shoulder.

“I’m fine,
Dad,” she assured.

My heart sank. Aiden Claremont
had just witnessed me attacking his daughter. I turned to find Aiden trying to get away from the clasps of Sam and Ashley. Gavin, on the other hand, was holding a gun—one I was sure that Aiden had pointed at me when he saw me charge for Sofia.

Aiden was glaring daggers at me. “How many times have you done something like that to her? How many times have you pushed her
against walls and had your way with her?”

I hung my head, recalling the numerous times I’d lost control with Sofia, the many times her life was endangered by my own hands.

To my relief, Sofia answered for me, “It doesn’t matter, Dad. Derek and I are going to take a walk. You stay here. We’re going to spend the night together. We need to catch up. I’ll be fine.”

“No…” Aiden shook his head. “I’m not going
to let you leave with that monster, not right after what I just saw him do to you.”

“This
isn’t hunter territory anymore. If Derek says he wants me with him, then there’s really nothing you can do about it.”