A Shade Of Vampire 6: A Gate Of Night (18 page)

His cold breath touched the back of my neck, his forehead pressed against my head, his hands brushing up and down my arms. No matter how cold we both were, he made warmth climb from the pit of my stomach to the top of my chest.

“You always worry about things that are beyond your control, Viv. You worry too much.”

“I can’t help it.” I frowned. “And you? You worry too little, Xavier.”

“The way I see it, these Elders are coming. Nothing we can do to stop it. We might as well cherish these last few moments we have, these times when we’re still free from their hold. I think it’s what Derek and Sofia would’ve done.”

“Really? You don’t think my brother would’ve had some sort of plan concocted by now? An escape… something?”

“An escape to where? Derek has done a lot of great things, but I don’t think even he could’ve found a way out of this one. Stop being so hard on yourself. Besides, Derek isn’t here. And you’re not Derek. Stop trying to be him. Do you see any of your subjects complaining so far? Vivienne, you’ve been keeping us all together since Derek and Sofia left.”

I spun around and pushed him away. “I hate you.”

“Hate me?” His eyes widened, his ruggedly handsome face twisting in confusion. “Why?”

“For being so calm! You’re always so cool and collected and…” I had no idea what was happening to me, but tears were beginning to fall from my cheeks. “You remind me of who I used to be before the hunters got me.”

His eyes cleared when he realized what I was telling him. “I remember.” He nodded with a bittersweet smile forming on his lips. “Nothing seemed to faze you. Your father and Lucas… they would be in a panic, but you… I used to wonder if anything could ever shake you. You were the very picture of fortitude at that time—exactly what The Shade needed.”

I raised my eyes to his, the terror and dread that I felt being shoved to the back of my mind by his mere presence. I loved him. Always had. The way he was looking at me at that time unnerved me. I wished I believed in myself as much as he seemed to believe in me.

“How can you look at me that way?”

“What way?”

“Like you think I’m amazing.”

He grinned. His mouth opened to reply, but instead of words, I found myself being pulled to him, his lower lip caught between mine. I slightly bit into his lip. He groaned and pulled away, but the naughty expression on his face—the hunger behind his eyes—told me that this encounter was far from over.

“You love me, princess. Admit it.” His grip on my arm tightened. He wanted to hear me say the words. He was desperate for it.

My lips trembled. I could find no reason not to say it, so I didn’t understand why the words wouldn’t come out of my lips. “I… Xavier…” I had no idea what terrified me more—the coming of the Elders or baring my heart completely to the man I loved. Xavier made me feel vulnerable. “You said you’d wait until I’m ready.”

“And I’d do that, Vivienne. You know I would, but…”

I pressed my lips against his to silence him, hoping that if I couldn’t express what I felt for him in words, he would understand that I loved him through my actions.

Still, even as I reveled in being held in his strong arms, I could tell that I would regret not telling him. Especially when a cold, foreboding wind began to sweep through the island.

That meant only one thing.

“The Elders are here,” I whispered. A creeping sense of fear began to envelop me, getting under my skin and chilling my bones. I clung to Xavier tighter but he pulled away from me.

“Xavier?” I asked. I looked into his eyes and gasped. They’d gone a strange, translucent white.

He brushed loose strands of my hair with his fingers before giving me a wide, manic grin. “Hello. You’re right, sweet innocent.”

Right about what?
Realization dawned on me. “No.”

“Yes. We’re here.”

I watched as the young woman set the tray of food on top of the aluminum pushcart. Strawberries, pancakes, delicacies that I would never have the pleasure of tasting.
Ones Derek Novak is somehow now able to enjoy… wherever he is.
The man had been off our radar since the day he’d somehow escaped our capture.

That means only one thing. He’s no longer in this realm.

“Everything’s ready, my lord.” Downcast eyes and clasped hands faced me.

“Let’s go then.”

Olga was the beautiful brunette tasked to bring Sofia her meals every day. She’d been held captive at The Blood Keep since she was a baby and she’d been serving as a kitchen girl from childhood to her teenage years. I knew I could trust her to do whatever I told her to do, so when the subject of who to send to cater to Sofia’s needs had come up, Olga had come to mind.

Unlike the other servants, the teenager didn’t tense at the very sight of me. She respected me more than she feared me and I liked that about her. She knew her place in my life and she served it well.

“How is she?” I asked her as we walked along the corridors of The Blood Keep, headed for Sofia’s bedroom.

“I don’t think she gets enough sleep. She seems anxious as of late.”

“Did she try to talk to you again?”

“Yes. Always. She wanted me to help her. Begging. She was talking about escape.”

Sofia, you little fool.
“And what did you do?”

“Nothing. I ignored her. Like you told me to.” Olga paused and caught her breath.

I’d practically raised the young servant. I could read her expressions very well. “You’re keeping something from me. Spit it out, Olga.”

“She hit me yesterday. She got really angry that I wouldn’t respond to her pleas.” Olga’s round face paled.

She hit Olga?
I couldn’t picture Sofia doing something like that, especially to an innocent just like herself.
The darkness is getting to her.

“She’s not like she was when she first came. She’s losing it, my lord. She’s withering away.” A deep sigh escaped Olga’s red lips, her eyes glistening. “I feel for her.”

You
feel
for her?
The thought riled me up. I grabbed her arm and yanked her around to face me before gripping her jaw. “Know your loyalties, Olga.”

She didn’t cower like others did. Her hazel eyes met mine, unflinching. “I know where mine lie, my lord. On the other hand, I’m not sure where yours do.”

I knew her so well, but for some reason, I was never quite able to wrap my mind around the idea that she knew me just as much as I did her. In fact, she knew me better than anyone else—apart from the Elder—did at that castle.

Olga knew that even though she was my lesser in terms of station at the castle, we were both just captives of the Elder. I was the Elder’s so-called son, but I was not much different than every other slave and prisoner he kept at The Blood Keep. I didn’t have a will of my own.

I slapped Olga across the face for her insolence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I was lying, and I could see in her stoic face that she knew it. I let go of her and she turned away from me and once again began pushing the food cart forward. Her long brown hair sashayed over her waist, her hips swaying as she walked along the castle’s dark corridors.

Still, as we neared Sofia’s chambers, Olga’s words haunted me. The idea of Sofia “losing it” bothered me.
Have I allowed her to get to me? That can’t happen. Remember what happened to the last girl you took a genuine liking to, Kiev.

Natalie had been the love of my life. The rogue vampire herself. We’d planned to elope, to find a place in the world where the Elder wouldn’t be able to find us. We were such fools—Natalie and I.

I shuddered at the memory of the things the Elder had made me do to her. I’d ruined the girl I loved. Those nights tormenting Natalie were the worst nights of my life. It was the Elder’s way of showing me that the darkness inside me was far greater than the light, because I couldn’t say no. I did to Natalie what the Elder pleased. After we released Natalie, I knew she would never be able to forgive me.

I’d lost her.

Back at The Shade, when we’d found her inside the Sanctuary, I’d seen how she looked at me. Natalie was the vampires’ ultimate diplomat for a reason. She was peace-loving and cordial. She never hated anybody. She was on no one’s side. She was the middle ground, but at that moment, as our eyes met, I knew that she hated me. I couldn’t bear it.

Her hatred had caused me more pain than I could imagine a heart could handle, so I did what any child of the Elder would do. I punished her.

Natalie Borgia, the woman I loved, had died in my hands, because I was a sick, sick bastard, who would forever be a prisoner to darkness.

Natalie’s face was still etched on my mind when I entered Sofia’s bedroom. Though her lovely countenance would forever haunt me, I felt nothing over her loss. Years under the Elder’s power had done that to me. I was forever numb. Or at least I thought so.

All callousness dissolved when I saw Sofia’s bloodstained bed. I couldn’t even explain what I felt. The sense of deep, deep loss came over me like a flood and I had no idea how to handle it.

Did she miscarry?
I walked toward the empty bed.
That’s too much blood.
I scanned the room to look for the redhead and found no sign of her or the beast I’d assigned to guard her.
Stupid mutt.
Olga ran towards the bathroom to check if Sofia was there, and I followed suit.

Olga’s gasp confirmed that Sofia was indeed there. I was already thinking the worst so I actually sighed with relief when I saw that Sofia was on her feet, pulling a dress over her shoulders, shocked by the unannounced intrusion. Sitting beside her, licking his own fur, was the beast.

My claws came out. “You good-for-nothing monster!” The beast yelped when my claws cut through its flesh the first time, but within minutes of the abuse, it was snarling and growling at me, poised to attack.

I grinned, ready to take on the beast’s challenge. I had every intention of killing the dog.

“Kiev, please. The dog didn’t do anything to me.”

I creased my brows in surprise, wondering why on earth she would come to the defense of the beast. “What happened then?” I asked her.

She withdrew from any attempt to defend herself or the animal and just stared back at me, no word of explanation coming out of those lips. She’d clearly been crying, but it wasn’t sorrow that I was seeing in her eyes. It was anger—not just that, it was hatred. I found it unbecoming for someone like her.

“Did the beast hurt you?”

She shook her head.

I had half a mind that she might have been trying to escape and the beast must’ve sensed it. I was losing my patience with my lovely captive. “Then why is there blood all over the bed, Sofia?”

Again, she didn’t respond to me. At least not in words. Instead, she turned around and slightly pulled her unzipped dress down her shoulders, exposing her bare back to us. The stripes on her back were too familiar for me not to recognize.

“The Elder came to you.”

Her voice was so raspy, so soft, I barely made out the words. “What is he?”

A monster.
I swallowed hard. The fact that the Elder was able to do this to her meant that she’d allowed darkness in. The months of captivity had relentlessly chipped away at her resolve, covering up anything good about her.

“Leave us,” I instructed Olga. The servant quickly complied. She knew better than to be around something like this. “Your children?”

“They’re unharmed.” Sofia pulled her dress over her shoulders once again and placed her hands over her belly. “At least I think so,” she added, her voice coming out as a soft croak.

I marveled at her strength. Another woman would’ve crumpled in a corner and felt sorry for themselves. I retrieved a dagger tucked beneath my belt and cut a gash over my palm. I walked towards Sofia. “Drink.”

She took one look at the blood and shook her head adamantly. “Never.”

“You would rather remain in pain?”

“I can bear it.”

“Don’t be a fool, Sofia. You have your children to think of.”

“Maybe it’s better that they never become a part of this sick, sick world, Kiev.”

“Suit yourself.” I shrugged. If she was looking for someone to talk her out of her insanity, then she was speaking to the wrong person. I stared at my bleeding palm. The gash was about to close. “I’m not going to cut myself again. Are you going to drink or not?”

I noticed then how pale she was.
She’s lost a lot of blood. If she doesn’t drink, we’re going to lose the children for sure—even her perhaps.
I could see the wheels in her mind turning. She drew a short intake of breath before grabbing my wrist and drinking from my palm. She was only able to take a couple of sips since the gash was already closing. I wasn’t sure if it was enough so I none too gently grabbed her and yanked her to one side so that I could see her back.

The lashes healed.

“I never thought I’d see the day when the Elder had enough power to get to you, Sofia.”

“I need Derek.”

“Well, he isn’t here, is he?” I began running my fingers over her spine, enjoying the feel of her bare flesh under my skin.

“What will it take for you to help me, Kiev? There must be something you want from me. You’ve been kinder to me than you ought to be.”

I chuckled. “Have I? Or has the Elder’s attack just made you delusional? Tell me, what exactly did you do to get him to pay you such a violent visit?”

“How am I supposed to know what’s going on inside your father’s twisted mind?”

I didn’t get a full grasp of the darkness that had already consumed our beautiful captive until she spun around and looked up at me with a heated gaze. I knew then that she was true to her word. She would do
anything
for me to help her. All the wicked possibilities ran through my mind. I was with Sofia Novak at her most vulnerable and every part of me was screaming to take advantage of that fact.

“So how about it, Kiev? What exactly do you want from me? What do I have to do…”

I wanted her in my bed. Every part of my being wanted to experience what Derek experienced with Sofia. I laid her on the bed and allowed my eyes to ravish her lovely form.