Read A Shattered Heart (Live & Love Series Book 1) Online
Authors: Jenn Leigh
JOSH
She was slowly torturing me. It took all of my concentration not to shoot off in my pants.
She resumed her unbuttoning of my shirt, slowly kissing her way down my chest and abdomen. With only a few more inches, she would be at my cock.
She pushed my shirt open then slid it down my arms, baring me to her from the waist up. Then she dropped to her knees, looking up my body while licking her lips in anticipation. I almost lost it right there.
Although I wanted those lips around my cock so badly, I was at risk of coming as soon as she put her mouth on me. I tried reciting the alphabet to calm myself down, but she was being a temptress, and I didn’t know how much more I could take.
She slid her hands around my waistband then dipped them around at the back, cupping my ass and squeezing gently as I had done to hers. Then she brought her hands around front again and finally undid my button and zipper before pushing my pants down my legs along with my boxers.
I sprung free right in front of her and released a hiss at the freedom. She looked momentarily stunned as she stopped what she was doing with my pants and just stared, blushing slightly as she caught me watching her.
She licked her lips again then took the head into her mouth, and it was almost too much to take. All I could do was grab her hair and hang on tight. She moaned as she slid her tongue up and down my shaft, trying to take as much of me as possible.
She looked up at me with my cock in her mouth, and I decided that was all I could take. I lifted her up and smashed my mouth against hers. All I wanted to do was bury my cock in her until I was balls deep as she screamed my name. However, I didn’t want to scare her off, so I let her set the pace.
I laid her down on the bed, covering her with my body while kissing her like it was the last thing I would ever do. Then I reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom as she watched my every move. She bucked up and rolled me so she was now straddling me. I was surprised at her powerful move yet enjoyed watching her take charge.
I offered her the package, and she grinned a devilish smile before she ripped the package open with her teeth. Then she slowly slid her body down mine, and when she had enough room, she slid my cock in her mouth and sucked it down deep. I almost came off the bed, groaning.
She released my cock and rolled the condom down. I was almost ready to burst as she climbed back up my body and positioned herself over my shaft. She rubbed her pussy along my cock, coating it with her juices. Then, in one swift move, she impaled herself to the hilt, and I watched in fascination as she threw her head back and started to ride me slowly.
The torture was killing me, but I grit my teeth over the sensations coursing through my body, wanting to draw it out for her. Sensing that I was close, she rose up on my shaft and completely stopped all movement.
I looked at her in confusion, and she merely smirked then said, “Not until I say, cowboy.”
Well, holy shit. That was the hottest thing I had ever heard. Now I really wanted to come.
I tried to push her back down on my shaft, but she resisted, firmly holding herself up.
“Uh-uh, not until I say.” She winked and then proceeds to bob over my tip, and my tip alone.
I was getting frantic with the need to come, but she only continued to tease the tip, moaning in a way that made my balls tingle with anticipation.
“Please, Nat, you’re killing me here,” I said on a pant.
She looked at me reverently and then impaled herself all the way down once more, riding me like her life depended on it.
I was so close. I grasped her hips and thrust up, using my other hand to slide my fingers along her clit as she bounced. With the added stimulation, she screamed my name as she shuddered, trembling as I gave my final thrust into her hot heat and gave into my own orgasm.
Once she was spent, she flopped down over my body. We were quiet for a while, trying to catch our breath, while I stroked her back, gently tracing up and down her spine. I was starting to think she had fallen asleep, but then she looked up at me with a smile on her face.
“I’m not usually rendered speechless after sex, but that was … wow,” she said with a shy smile.
I smile back. “Anytime, sweetie. Anytime.”
She moved off me, and I got up to discard the condom. Then I slid back into bed and snuggled up to her, and we both fell asleep, holding each other.
2 years, 8 months, and…?
I woke up for the third time this week with no nightmares. I hadn’t slept that good in a long time. I would have to make a note to consider having sex every night before I went to sleep. I was sure my bed partner wouldn’t be too put out. I chuckled to myself at the thought.
I opened my eyes to find Josh staring right at me with a slight smile on his face. We had been sharing a room since our first date.
“Morning, sweetie. Sleep well?” he asked with a smirk.
“You have no idea. This is third time in what feels like forever that I haven’t had a nightmare. Not to stroke your ego this early in the morning, but you’re good,” I offered on a giggle.
He chuckled and snuggled his body back into mine. We spent a few minutes running our fingers over each other, memorizing the planes of our skin. We started kissing slowly, almost lazily, but it soon turned passionate and became more urgent. We went for round two, and it was as good as the first, if not better. It was shocking to have this much sexual chemistry so soon, but I wasn’t about to complain.
After we were finished, I got up to make us some breakfast.
As he sat at the table, I said, “Oh, I almost forgot. I’m heading home for a few days to see my parents. With me moving in and our new relationship plus work at the shop, it slipped my mind until now.” I purposely left out possibly meeting Robin, because I hadn’t even booked my flight or set anything up yet.
He looked at me for a few minutes before answering, leaving me feeling a bit self-conscious. “Okay, do you want company?”
“It’s up to you. You’re welcome to come along,” I offered. Although I would rather he stayed home and let me work through this myself, I didn’t want to let on to my plans.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him being in my previous life; seeing what my world was like beforehand, not that he wouldn’t fit in I just worry that he would he judge me for letting it all go. Or would he admire me for doing it? Apart of me wanted him to see some aspect of my former life, just to gauge his reaction. One day it might be nice to get some of it back, not the job, but maybe some semblance of what I had.
“I’d love to meet your parents. You already know mine, so it’s only fair.” He winked.
“Let me set things up, and I’ll let you know when we leave.”
We ate breakfast and talked some more. I was cleaning up the dishes when he came up behind me and kissed the side of my neck.
“Why are you so damn sexy?” he whispered in my ear.
I didn’t have a response as he kept nipping my neck and ear, causing me to stop what I was doing and give over to my senses.
“I need a shower,” I attempted to distract him.
He drew in a breath and responded with, “I haven’t had shower sex in quite some time. We should christen the shower, right now.” He pushed me in the direction of the bathroom.
Later, I told him I had some errands to run and headed out the door to my piece of shit car.
I really should get something nicer. I do have the money.
I did the shopping then found a cute, little café to sit and have lunch, or mid-afternoon lunch, I guessed. I called my parents and told them my plan. They agreed, excited to see me.
I took my time eating then looked up flights on my phone, setting up tickets for Josh and myself. Then I made the decision to call Robin. I doubted there would be many changes to the company over the last two years, so I thought I would try the number I remembered, since I had deleted my work contacts after I moved away, but some numbers you never forgot.
“Sirano Snowboarding Company. Robin speaking. How may I help you?” she answered politely.
“Hello, Robin. It’s Natalie,” I said.
“Well, holy shit. Is it really you?” she asked cheerfully.
“The one and only,” I replied.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected call?” she asked.
“Well, I’m coming into town to see my parents, and I thought it was time to catch up with old friends,” I said, hoping she would take the bait.
“Sure, I’d love that.”
I was starting to think the boys had it all wrong. She sounded exactly like she had before anything had happened. Surely, I would have noticed if there was something off.
“Okay, great. It’ll be nice to catch up. I’ll be there next week. I’ll call and set up a time for lunch closer to the date.”
“Sounds great. Looking forward to it,” she said, still sounding bubbly and excited.
By now, I was certain the guys had it wrong. There was no way it was her. She sounded absolutely okay. In fact, I was now kind of excited to see her and maybe do a bit of reminiscing.
I finished up my food and headed back to the house.
Once I grabbed the bags and got inside, I found all three boys sitting in front of the giant TV, engaged in some sort of video game. It sounded like it was full of explosions and gun fire.
When I set the bags down, all three of them turned around and, in the most little-boy-like voices, said in unison, “Did you get us anything?”
I simply stared at them for a few beats then burst out laughing, and they quickly followed.
Josh got up and opened his arms for a hug, which I absolutely loved. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, inhaling deeply, sending shivers down my spine.
I moved out of his embrace and said, “I talked with my parents and arranged a time for us to go visit.”
“Great, looking forward to it,” he replied.
I wrote it down on the calendar then decided once again to leave out the bit about meeting Robin for lunch. I thought they were wrong about the texts and didn’t want to get into an argument about it. There was no way it was her. Maybe her phone got stolen or something. The person who had texted was not the cheerful person I had spoken with today. By going to meet her, I would prove I was right and end the mystery once and for all.
That night, the guys continued to play video games while I sat by and watched. The whole time, I was in tears, often laughing with them and at them. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Could this be the home I had been looking for?
JOSH
Something was off about Natalie. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she seemed to be hiding something from me. It could be she was merely nervous about seeing her parents again, as it had been a while. Regardless, something in my gut told me it was different.
“What would everyone like for dinner?” she asked. “I bought steak, chicken, or fish.”
Daniel, ever the goofball, raised his hand and shouted, “Ooo-ooo-ooo, I know, I know,” like a little kindergartner. “
Steeeeaaakkk
!”
Natalie rolled her eyes, put her hands on her hip, and said. “Don’t make me call Laurel on your ass, Daniel. I’m sure she would have a field day with your antics.”
“Yes, ma’am,” we all said out of habit, which made Natalie burst into laughter.
I could listen to her laugh all day. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside, like a goddamn girl. I only hoped that whatever was bothering her was a fleeting moment.
Mark and I headed outside, grabbing a beer on our way, and sat by the barbeque while we waited for it to warm up.
“So, you’re heading out to meet her parents. That’s a pretty big step,” Mark stated.
“Yeah, but you know what? I think she is the ‘one.’ I can feel it in my heart, and I know that sounds super corny, so sue me, but it’s how I feel. I feel like I can’t breathe without her near me. When I left, I tried. Shit, did I try to get her off my mind, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. As soon as I was back in the same room with her, I felt lighter and lifted. You probably wouldn’t understand, but there it is,” I respond without looking at his face.
“You have no idea how much I understand, bro. I get it. I really do. I’m happy for you, really.” Mark patted me on the back.
“Hey, can I ask you something? Does Natalie seem off to you?” I asked, hoping he had noticed.
“Hmm.” He looked at her through the windows. “Now that you mention it, she does seem a bit stiff, not her usual, casual self. Why, what’s wrong? Is she having nightmares still? Did she get another text?”
“No. No more texts that I am aware of. Nightmares are not as often, but I don’t think that’s it. I can’t put my finger on it, but something seems off. I’ll find out and let you know if it’s something to worry about.” I took a sip of my beer.
Mark nods and looks again at Natalie. “You did good, brother. She’s a keeper, for sure. Don’t fuck it up. We like her too much.” He stared hard at me, conveying that he would kick the shit out of me if I hurt her.
“No worries, man. She’s my life now. I won’t let anything happen to her,” I replied, staring back at him.
After the steaks were done, we brought them back to the kitchen where the table was set and ready for us to sit down and eat. The conversation flowed around us, but I noticed Natalie remained quiet throughout the evening. She was listening to what was being said, yet it was almost as if she wasn’t present.
Once dinner was over, I cornered her in the kitchen.
“What’s up, Nat? Something is wrong. I can feel it.” I pointed to my chest.
She looked at me for a few moments, obviously trying to figure out what to say.
“I guess I’m just worried about going back to see my parents and being back in that city after everything that happened. I’m worried the paparazzi will find me and start bringing everything up. I’m worried my nightmares are going to start up again,” she spilled out quickly.
“It’s okay. Everything will be okay. I’ll be with you every step, and we can take it all one day at a time,” I reassured her, pulling her into my arms.
She took a deep breath and nodded her head against my chest. I could tell she was still anxious, though.
Once the kitchen was cleaned, I grabbed her hand and led her back up to our bedroom where I closed the door behind us and leaned her back against it.
I slowly started kissing her face. Her eyes, nose, cheeks, jaw—I peppered them in kisses. I could slowly feel her start to relax. That was when I leaned in to her lips, kissing her gently but passionately, and I could feel the tension seep out of her as she leaned into my body and touch.
I pulled away to look into her eyes, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Better?”
She smiled slightly. “Maybe more is required. I still feel tight here”—she pointed to her chest—“and here”—she pointed to her stomach next—“and here,” she pointed above her hips and whispered, “and here.” Then she trailed her fingers down her front.
I looked back up her body and smirked. “I can help with that.”
I took her hand and led her to the bed where we slowly stripped each other of our clothes and made love for hours.
I was instantly awoken by screaming, and I flipped over to find Natalie in a panicked state on the floor, sobbing and screaming.
I heard my brothers yelling as they came up to my room.
I jumped out of bed and answered the door in my boxers. Thank goodness we had some sense to put on some clothes before we fell asleep.
“Holy shit. Are you guys okay?” asked Daniel, panting, as he held on to the doorframe.
We all looked over to Nat who was now rocking on the floor. I went over and put her in my lap while Daniel and Mark moved to sit on my bed.
Natalie was mumbling, and we couldn’t quite make out what she was saying.
“Do you think we need to get her some help? This obviously isn’t going away. Maybe she should talk it out,” Mark suggested.
Suddenly, Natalie yelled, “No talking! I’m trying to forget.”
“Honey,” I coaxed her, “it won’t get better until you remember and start talking about it.”
I wasn’t really sure if Natalie was fully awake, because she started to say things we hadn’t heard about when she had told the story to us a month ago.
“Their eyes. I can’t get over their eyes,” she said quietly as she rocked in my lap.
My brothers and I looked at each other. Daniel had a pained look on his face, and Mark looked devastated.
“They were frozen open in horror. After the crash, I looked back to see them. They were bloody all over, their faces frozen in panic. Jake was slumped over in his seat, blood coming out of his head. Jagged pieces of car parts were strewn all over everyone. I looked down at myself to see my leg was pinned and had to be broken, and my head and arm had to be bleeding, but not like theirs.
“I must have blocked it out, but Anthony and Julia died on impact, broken necks from bad whiplash. Jake died within ten minutes of the crash. I could have tried to save him, but I didn’t know what to do. I remember him trying to breathe, but it sounded so wet. I could have lifted his head to try to help, but I was stuck in my seat and scared.” She sobbed into my chest.
Then she looked up into my eyes, and I could see the guilt that had been brought up from finally remembering.
“The texts are right; it was my fault. I could have saved him.” She put her hands to her face and sobbed some more.
“Oh, no, Natalie, we aren’t going down this path,” I stated. “There was nothing you could have done in that situation. Do you hear what I am saying? Nothing.” I tried to pull her back into my body to give her my strength, but she resisted.
I looked to my brothers for help. Daniel had red-rimmed eyes and so did Mark, but they did what I suspected they would. They got down on the floor with me and surrounded Natalie.
We let her have her moment, and when she finally looked defeated, I was able to wrap my arms around her in comfort and strength. Daniel and Mark placed a hand on her back to let her know she wasn’t alone.
We stayed like that for a bit until I could tell Natalie had fallen asleep. Then I silently carried her back into bed, tucked her in, and walked my brothers to the door. They didn’t say a word, but we gave each other a hug, silently saying we would get through this together.
Once they were gone, I went back and slid into bed with Nat. I faced her, noticing for the first time in a long time that she looked peaceful. As painful as it had been, she had needed those memories to come back and give her some closure. I only hoped that the morning had a bright outlook.