A Simple Song (8 page)

Mamm stood. “I do not know what to say.” She was headed
for the stairs but paused on the first step. “Your daed gave his blessing?”

Katrina just nodded.

Mamm shook her head. “I don't know what to say,” she said again. “I can't give you my blessing . . . but I can't stop you either. It's your choice, Katrina.”

“But what will our friends and neighbors say?” Drew asked with concern.

“They will say Katrina is on
rumspringa
,” Mamm said sadly. “And we will tell them to pray for her . . . pray that she comes back to us . . . back to the Lord.” She continued up the stairs with heavy-sounding steps.

Katrina never expected Mamm to be pleased about this. And she never dreamed both her parents would agree to such madness. Now that neither of them appeared determined to stop her, she felt slightly let down. It seemed their consent came with a high price. Still, she remembered Daed's ashen face earlier and her concerns for his health, and she thought perhaps the price was not too high after all.

“This is a dream come true,” Bekka said after Katrina told her the news later that day. They were in Bekka's cramped office, and Bekka was busily working the keyboard. “We need to get you preregistered first.”

“Preregistered?” Katrina was confused.

“Yes. I was reading about it a few days ago. You have to go online and fill out a preregistration form.”

“I don't know how to do that.”

“Of course you don't.” Bekka beamed at her. “That's why you have me. I've already started it for you.”

They spent about a half hour answering lots of questions, but Bekka finally proclaimed it done. “I'm going to hit Send.”

Katrina held her breath as Bekka clicked something.

“Now we wait.”

Katrina exhaled. “How long do we wait?”

Bekka shrugged.

“Well, I don't have time to wait here,” Katrina told her. “I told Mamm I'd be back within the hour.”

“I'll let you know as soon as I hear back,” Bekka promised. “In the meantime, I hope you're practicing.”

“Practicing?” Katrina frowned.

“You know, singing.”

“Oh . . .
ja
. . . of course.”

But as Katrina hurried home, she didn't even feel like singing. She just felt nervous. After all that had been said and done amongst her family, what if the
American Star
people rejected her preregistration form? Would her family be pleased or disappointed?

That night as she was getting ready for bed, she felt Sadie watching her—even more than usual. “Are you really going to do it?” Sadie asked.

“The show?”

“
Ja
. Are you really going through with it?”

Katrina sighed as she hung up her dress. “Bekka sent my preregistration form in. I suppose
American Star
could refuse me. I don't know if they have rules against Amish participants.”

“But if they do accept you, you will truly go and do this?” Sadie was looking at her with what seemed a mixture of fear and admiration.

“What do you think I should do?” Katrina asked gently.

Sadie's eyes lit up. “I think you should do it.”

“Truly?”

“
Ja
. I would do it . . . if I had a singing voice like yours.”

“You don't think it's vainglory?”

Sadie giggled. “
Ja
, it probably is vainglory. But won't it be fun?”

Katrina couldn't help but laugh.

“I saw that dress in your drawer. And those strange shoes.”

“You did?” Katrina was surprised. “You never said anything about it.”

“I was waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“To see what you were going to do with them.”

“You didn't tell your friends about them?”

“Not yet.” Sadie smirked. “I only found them a few days ago. What are they for?”

Katrina explained that they had belonged to Mammi.

“You can't be serious.”

“
Ja
. Aunt Alma gave them to me. They were from when Mammi was young, before she married Daadi.” Suddenly Katrina remembered the seven hundred dollars. She wondered if it was still safe in the bean jar. Perhaps some of it would be helpful in getting her to Cleveland. Bekka had said she would need to take a bus to get there.

“Was Mammi English?”

“No. She left her settlement for a while, but then she came back.” Katrina was tempted to tell Sadie the full story, except that she knew Daadi did not want it told. And she wasn't sure she could trust Sadie to keep it to herself. After all, it was a fairly exciting story.

“I wish I could go with you to Cleveland,” Sadie said wistfully.

“You have school,” Katrina reminded her.

“
Ja
,
ja
. . . I can't wait until I'm old enough for
rumspringa
.”

Katrina laughed. “Don't worry, it will come soon enough. And then you might not be so glad about it.” She slipped her nightgown over her head. “It comes with responsibilities, Sadie. Some very big decisions. Free will has a price.”

“You sound like Mamm.”

“Thank you,” Katrina told her before she blew out the lamp and hopped into bed next to her sister.

“I'll miss you,” Sadie said quietly.

“I'll only be gone two or three days,” Katrina told her.

“
Ja
, well, even so I will miss you.”

On Friday morning, just when Katrina was about to give up on ever being accepted by the show, Bekka rushed over to Katrina as she was repairing a hole in the chicken coop fence where a critter or neighbor's dog had broken in.

“You're in,” Bekka gasped breathlessly. She waved a piece of paper in her hand. “This is your acceptance letter from
American Star
.”

Katrina set down the hammer and took the letter, staring at it in disbelief. “Really, they want me to come?”

“
Ja
. Look, there is your name right on it. Down at the bottom here it has all the directions for where to go and what to do when you get to Cleveland,” she explained happily. “You are on your way to becoming an American Star!”

“This is really happening.” Katrina read through the letter, then tucked it into the band of her apron. “I can't believe it.”

“Oh, I almost forgot. Peter said he will drive the buggy to group singing again tomorrow night if you and Cal want to ride with us.”

“
Ja
. Thank you!” Katrina hugged her.

For the rest of the day, Katrina happily sang along with the golden oldies. By now she had learned the words to at least a dozen or more songs. She hoped that one of those songs would be just right for her audition—she knew that was what they called it because Bekka had shown her some of the auditions from the last season, and she knew that “last season” meant the previous group of shows, not winter or spring. She'd been encouraged to see others auditioning, because Bekka was right—most of them did not sing very well. Katrina felt she might truly have a chance to win that prize money for Daed.

On Saturday night, all her friends were excited to hear the news. Some of them even seemed to know what
American Star
was, but most of them were simply happy to hear that she might win some money to help her father get the surgery he needed to get well. At the end of the meeting, they even took time to pray for her to succeed at winning the prize. Katrina was touched.

On the way home, Cal suggested that Bekka should accompany Katrina to Cleveland next Friday. “Since Bekka was just there with her family, she probably knows how to ride the bus and find her way. And she'll be good company for you.”

“Ja!”
Bekka exclaimed. “That's a great idea.” Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at Cal. Katrina could see she was thrilled that Cal had thought of her for this.

“I wish I could go with you,” Cal said, “but you know I can't miss that much work . . . not with Daed laid up.”

“I know.” Katrina patted his back. “But you're right. Bekka will know what to do, won't you, Bekka?”

“
Ja
. I will take care of everything for you.”

“I would drive you to Millersburg,” Cal told Katrina, “except we're cutting hay next week. It'll be busy.”

“I can't take them,” Peter said from up front where he was driving the horses. “Especially not if Bekka is gone—and that is
if
our parents agree, Bekka. We have too many orders to fill for both of us to go.”

“Our parents will agree,” Bekka assured him. “I'll tell them this is my
rumspringa
too. And I'll work really hard all next week. I won't play a single computer game either.”

They all laughed.

“I will drive the girls to Millersburg,” Cooper offered in
a serious tone. “I'd been planning to go up there to visit my uncle anyway.”

Katrina had noticed that Cooper seemed quieter than usual. She wasn't sure if it was related to her or something else. “You don't mind?”

“No.” He turned away, looking out over the field that was washed in moonlight. She wished she knew what he was thinking. Was he upset that she was doing this? But hadn't he encouraged her too? Perhaps he was thinking about his apprenticeship. Had he already made up his mind to do it? If so, where did that leave her? And them—or was there even a them? It seemed lately she'd been too busy to fully consider this.

By Sunday afternoon, it was settled at the Lehmans'. Bekka was allowed to go, but only if she worked very hard to get every order filled. She told Katrina, “I'll give Cooper a message through Peter—letting him know when we need to be dropped off and picked up at the bus station.”

“Thank you.” Katrina sighed in relief. “I couldn't do this without you.”

“Now we need to decide what you're going to wear,” Bekka declared.

“Oh?” Katrina frowned. “You don't think I should wear my Sunday dress, do you? I thought I'd just wear my green dress. It's my favorite, and Mamm says it matches my eyes.”

“What?” Bekka looked shocked.

Katrina was confused. “My blue dress then?”

“No, that's not what I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you can't dress like that.” Bekka frowned. “You need to wear English clothes.”

Katrina's hand flew up to her mouth. “English clothes?”

“
Ja
. You're competing with the English, Katrina. You do know this, don't you?”

“I might be competing”—Katrina didn't even like the sound of that word—“but that doesn't mean I have to look like them.”

“It's all right,” Bekka assured her. “It's your
rumspringa
, remember?”

Katrina stood up straight, looking Bekka right in the eyes. “
Ja
. It is my
rumspringa
. But that does not mean I will wear English clothes. Do you understand?”

Bekka looked worried. “
Ja
, I understand. But do you understand that might make you lose?”

“If I lose, I lose. I will wear my green dress.”

“Ja . . .”
Bekka sounded discouraged.

Katrina put a hand on her shoulder. “I know you mean well, Bekka. But if my voice isn't enough to win this thing, I don't want it. Do you understand?”

Bekka shrugged. Katrina knew that if Bekka were able to sing, she would have no problem making these compromises. In fact, life would be much easier if Bekka were the one to enter a singing contest. Except that she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

“I wonder how much money I should bring,” Katrina mused. “I'll need to get some out of my bean jar.”

“Your what?”

Katrina waved her hand. “No matter. And don't worry, I will pay for all we need—you and me both.”

Bekka's eyes lit up. “Oh, I nearly forgot. You still have the money your grandmother left you.”

“
Ja
. Maybe she knew I would have need of it.”

On Thursday night, Katrina thought she would be too anxious to sleep, but it had been such a busy day that she was exhausted. “Are you afraid?” Sadie asked quietly in the darkness.

“Afraid?” Katrina considered the meaning of the word. “No, I don't think so. But I am nervous.”

“Do you think you'll get homesick?”

“Homesick?”

“I've read about it in books. A girl goes away from home for the first time and she misses it so much she gets homesick. Do you think you'll get it too?”

Katrina chuckled. “I doubt it. I'll only be gone a few days.”

“Did you decide what you're going to sing yet?”

“Not exactly. But I have narrowed it down to three songs.” She didn't tell Sadie that one of the songs—the one she was leaning toward—was one that their very own mammi had written and performed nearly fifty years ago. Bekka had made the discovery on her computer, learning that “After the Storm,” a moving song about the destructiveness of war, had been written by Starla Knight.

“I hope you sing the tin soldier song,” Sadie said wistfully.

“It's one that I'm considering.”

“I'll be praying for you, Katrina.”

“Thank you.” Katrina reached over, hugging her little sister in the darkness. To her surprise, she felt tears in her eyes. “I'll be praying for you too.”

Sadie laughed. “Praying that I don't let your tomatoes dry up, I'll bet.”

The next morning, Katrina got up before the sun, which was quite early in June. She had already packed her bag for the trip, and the blue dress she planned to wear for traveling
hung on a peg, ready to go. In the darkness she pulled on her black stockings and then the dress, pinned her apron into place, pinned on her shoulder shawl, and slipped her feet into her good black leather shoes. Tucking her nightgown into the bag, she looked around the room, which was so dark she could barely see. Without making a sound, she slipped out and down the hallway and was just going to the kitchen when she noticed a golden glow in there.