A Sister's Shame (37 page)

‘Whilst I boil the water, take off your knickers and stockings,’ said Nurse Jones as she removed her coat and rolled up her sleeves. ‘Then lie on the table. Did you bring the
towels and rags?’

Vesta nodded silently.

‘But before you do that,’ Nurse Jones said briskly, turning and holding out her hand, ‘I should like my fifteen guineas.’

‘But Teddy paid you,’ said Vesta weakly.

‘For advice, yes. I can’t help it if that didn’t work. I’ve had to rent this room for the day. Fifteen guineas is a small price to pay for what you want of me.’

‘This place is rented?’ Marie asked.

The woman smirked and said nothing. Marie was filled with fear. ‘Let’s go,’ she begged Vesta, but she was already taking off her clothes.

‘Marie, give her the money,’ Vesta called from the table.

‘But it’s all we’ve got,’ Marie protested. She had drawn twenty pounds, all their savings, from the Post Office.

Vesta looked up from the table where she was lying, her dress pulled up to her waist. ‘Give it to her, please. I have to have this done.’

Marie felt ill as the woman placed the instruments on the filthy draining board. Wondering how Vesta could agree to this, Marie took the money from her bag, her hands trembling as she handed it
over.

Even though Vesta had been given a potion to drink to numb the pain, she was in agony. The pail on the floor was full of bloody water, and the towels that Marie had folded
under Vesta’s buttocks were soaked with blood. Her legs were drawn up against her chest and spread wide. The instruments of torture had been inserted through Vesta’s most tender parts
and aimed upwards. Vesta had squeezed Marie’s hand so tightly that her nails had dug into her skin. When Vesta had screamed, Nurse Jones had pushed a rag in her mouth. Marie had tried to take
it out again, but was told not to interfere.

‘If you don’t want some busybody poking their nose in, you’d better keep her quiet,’ warned Nurse Jones as she poked and pulled.

‘She’s in pain. Can’t you give her something to help?’ Marie begged as she held Vesta’s trembling hands.

‘It’s nearly done now.’ With a final twist of the long instrument, she swept the bloody mess coming from Vesta into the pail.

Marie held Vesta tight, burying her face in Vesta’s sweat-soaked hair.

‘One less mouth in the world to feed,’ the woman sneered, as she wiped her hands on a rag.

Marie felt a rush of anger. ‘How can you say that when you’re supposed to be a nurse?’

‘I perform a valuable service, my dear,’ was the cold-hearted reply. ‘Your sister will never have the bastard she conceived in her moment of lust and degradation.’

‘It’s not up to you to judge her,’ cried Marie, as the dirty instruments were bundled in newspaper.

‘Listen, you silly girl, I’ve done what was asked of me. Now get her washed and out of here or you’ll have the landlord demanding more money for the rent.’ The so-called
nurse smiled through her thin lips. ‘And don’t turn your nose up at me, madam! This was purely a business arrangement. Your sister doesn’t know me and I don’t know her. If
one word of what happened here is breathed to a soul – and that I was involved – I shall deny all knowledge of the event. And your sister will be revealed for the harlot she
is.’

Marie’s eyes filled with angry tears as the woman put on her coat, threw the newspaper-wrapped instruments into her bag and hurriedly left.

Marie held Vesta close. ‘Oh, what have we done?’

Vesta mumbled, drawing her legs up and groaning softly. She was shivering, mumbling words that Marie couldn’t understand.

For a moment, Marie felt numb, then in a rush of despair, she felt Vesta’s pain as if it were her own. She stroked Vesta’s damp hair and kissed her forehead. ‘It’s over
now.’

‘Is the baby gone?’

Marie nodded. ‘I’m going to wash you, then take you home.’

‘I have to get away from Teddy.’

‘Yes, I know.’ Using the last of the clean rags that were left, she washed and cleaned Vesta. Then folding a strip of it in two, she placed it inside her knickers.

‘Come along into the other room.’ She helped Vesta to the chair.

Vesta flopped down. Holding her stomach, she fell asleep.

Marie went back and fetched the pail. She couldn’t look at the contents. She carried it downstairs and out into the yard. When she opened the makeshift wooden door of the lavatory, she
retched. The smell was overpowering. Making herself go in, she tipped the contents of the pail into the lavatory bowl.

As she went back upstairs, the tears flowed. How could this be happening to them? Taking the pail to the scullery, she did her best to clean the table. When the last rag had been used, she
rolled the soiled cloths and towels in some newspaper the woman had left.

‘I should have stopped it, somehow,’ she whispered to herself as she washed her hands under the rusty tap. But nothing would wash away the memory of the blood on Vesta and her
stifled cries as her poor body was ripped apart.

Her twin was still sleeping, but it didn’t seem to be a natural sleep. Her cheeks were a fiery red. Her skin was burning. Opening her purse, Marie took out a pound note. Seconds later she
was flying down the stairs again. She saw the boy sitting outside on the pavement.

He jumped up. ‘Keep away, missus. I don’t want nuffink to do wiv yer!’

‘I’ve got an errand for you. I’ll give you this pound if you’ll bring my husband here.’ She held the note out. ‘His name is Bing Brown and he’s a crane
driver in the docks.’ She gave him the address.

The boy grabbed the money, looking slyly at her as she told him where to find Bing. ‘Please ask him to come with the car. I’ll give you another pound when you get back.’

He looked under his cap. ‘Yer gonna call the law?’

‘No. I just want to go home.’

‘And yer got another quid?’

‘Yes.’

Without a word more, the boy scooted off. Marie climbed back up the stairs with a heavy heart. Would he get Bing? Or would he run off, never to be seen again? It was a chance she had to
take.

Vesta tossed and turned in the chair. Marie bathed her hot forehead. She whispered they would soon be home, not really knowing if it was true.

Vesta was mumbling and hot. The skin around her eyes was puffy as she rolled her head from side to side. Was it the drug she had been given that was making her delirious? Every
now and then, she would cry out and hold her stomach.

Marie didn’t know how long they had been there. The smell from the lavatories was getting worse in the heat of the day. The building was full of the screams of babies and shouts of
children playing in the tumbledown back yards. When would Bing come? What if the boy had run off?

‘Marie?’ Vesta whispered through her dry lips. ‘Is my baby gone?’

‘Yes.’

‘I have to catch the train.’

‘You can’t do that now. We gave the woman all our money.’

‘What’s going to happen to me now?’

‘I’ve sent for Bing. He’ll help us.’

Tears rolled down Vesta’s cheeks until at last she fell asleep again. Marie was frightened that the landlord would appear. She knew what had been done today was against the law. Time
ticked by slowly. If only Bing would come.

When there were steps on the staircase, she felt fear and hope. Fear that it would be the landlord, hope that it would be Bing. Her heart pounded a hole in her chest as the
footsteps seemed to take for ever.

At last a figure appeared. It was Bing. His face fell when he saw them. Wiping the grease from his eyes, he stared at them. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Bing, Vesta’s ill.’

‘I can see that.’ He walked slowly over the rotten boards. ‘What’s wrong with her? Why are you here?’

Marie knew that she had to tell him the truth. ‘Vesta was in the family way.’

‘What?’

‘Teddy made her see this woman who said she was a nurse and would get rid of it. But it all went wrong.’

‘You mean it was done here?’ He looked around in disbelief.

‘Yes.’

‘Christ Almighty!’ Bing rolled his eyes. ‘And you went along with all this?’

Marie was close to tears. ‘I was worried Vesta might do something silly if I didn’t help her.’

‘She did something silly anyway. Do you know how much trouble this could get you both in?’

Marie dropped her head as he raked his fingers angrily through his hair.

Vesta began to moan and Bing hurried over. He kneeled beside her, his face concerned. ‘She’s in bad shape, Marie. Reckon she needs a doctor.’ He rubbed his chin and frowned.
‘I’ve got the car outside and we’ll take her back to Ada.’

‘Can’t she come home with us?’

Bing shook his head slowly. ‘For once, Marie, I ain’t going along with what you want. Like it or not, she should be with Ada and Hector.’ He took Vesta’s hot hand and
gave her a little shake. ‘Vesta, it’s me, Bing.’

Vesta opened her swollen eyes.

‘I’ve come to get you out of here, gel, and take you home.’

‘I don’t want Mum to know,’ Vesta whispered.

‘It’s either that or the hospital. And if I take you there, they’re gonna know what’s been done to you.’

Suddenly there was a noise behind them. ‘Where’s me quid?’ called the boy from the half-landing.

Bing stood up and went out. He grabbed the boy’s collar. ‘You’ll get your money, lad, but first I’d like to know who this place belongs to.’

‘Dunno, it ain’t none of me business.’

‘You made it your business when you took my missus’s pound. Now, who runs this dump?’

‘An old geezer,’ the boy snarled. ‘Fings ’appen ’ere. Rotten fings. You’d better ask ’im if yer that nosy!’

‘So this room is used for skulduggery, eh?’

‘I ain’t sayin’ no more. Now, leave orf.’

But Bing pulled him close. ‘Listen, you ain’t seen me or these two ladies today. You wouldn’t know us from Adam if you met us again and that visit you paid me in the docks and
ride in me car never happened. Right?’

‘If you say so, mister.’

Bing let him go. ‘This is your pay, son, and be thankful for it.’ He held out a few coins.

‘That ain’t a quid!’ the boy exclaimed. ‘She said she had another pound ter give me.’

‘Take it or leave it,’ growled Bing. ‘Now ’oppit.’

Scowling, the boy grabbed the coins and ran off.

Bing looked at Marie, his face set hard. ‘Let’s get out of here. Make certain nothing’s left behind.’

Bing wrapped his arms around Vesta and lifted her from the chair. Half carrying her, he helped her to the landing and began slowly to go down the stairs. Marie took the rags wrapped in
newspaper. She looked round. There was nothing left to say what had happened; it was only in her mind that the vision remained of the pail and its terrible contents. Marie knew it was something
that she would never forget, no matter how hard she tried. This terrible room, that woman who called herself Nurse Jones, the screams of the children on the hot, stinking day – all would stay
in her mind for ever.

With Vesta curled on the back seat of the car, a blanket over her, Marie told Bing all that she knew. About the life her twin had led with Teddy, the wealthy man she had been
forced to sleep with, the beatings she’d taken from Teddy and the day at the Blue Flamingo when Vesta had found the letters and photograph in the drawer.

‘There was a gun too,’ Marie added, ‘and Teddy threatened to use it if she didn’t do as he said.’

Bing’s face was white under the dirt from the docks. His old clothes and boots still reeked of the oil and tar he worked amongst.

‘She was planning to run away to Liverpool,’ Marie added. ‘to get a passage on a ship.’

Bing shook his head. ‘It costs to do that.’

‘We had twenty pounds in the Post Office. It was our pay from the club. Mum never wanted it, and I made Vesta save it for a rainy day.’

Bing turned briefly. ‘Looks like the day came.’

‘Yes, but that woman demanded it before she agreed to—’ Marie stopped. She felt sick at the thought. ‘Even if everything had gone all right, there wouldn’t have
been any left to go away with.’

‘Why did you help her, Marie?’

‘Because she said she’d kill herself if I didn’t.’

He gave a long sigh. ‘Vesta wouldn’t have done that.’ He glanced quickly over his shoulder. ‘Not on purpose, anyway. As it is, I reckon she ain’t gonna come out of
this very easy.’

‘Don’t say that. She will get better, won’t she?’

‘Only the doctor will know.’ He frowned at the road ahead and Marie fell silent. She listened to Vesta’s soft moans as she lay on the back seat and felt unable to believe what
had happened today.

When Ada opened the door she gasped at the sight of Vesta’s thin body as Bing held her against him. She put her hand over her mouth.

‘Mum, Vesta’s not well, Marie told her.’

Hector appeared with a newspaper in his hands. He dropped it when he saw Vesta and reached out to help Bing carry her inside.

‘Bring her to the bedroom,’ Ada said, hurrying before them.

Marie looked around their bedroom. It was just as it always was: the big wardrobe and chest of drawers, their records and gramophone on top of it. The big double bed still had the same cover and
Ada quickly pulled it back. Bing and Hector lowered her.

‘What was it, an accident or is she ill?’ Ada asked, and then she saw Vesta’s bloody dress. Again her hand went to her mouth. A little sob escaped.

‘I’ll tell you as we undress her,’ Marie said.

‘We’ll wait in the front room,’ said Bing, taking Hector’s arm.

When the men had gone and the door was closed, Marie went to her mother. ‘Mum, Vesta was going to have a baby.’

Ada’s face went ashen. ‘Oh, my poor girl!’

‘Teddy didn’t want her to have it and made her go to a woman who said she was a nurse and would take it away.’

For a moment Ada swayed. She steadied herself on the bedpost. ‘You mean, she’s lost the baby?’

‘Yes.’ Marie gently drew up Vesta’s skirt and Ada saw her stained underwear.

‘Oh, Vesta, what’s been done to you?’

‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ whispered Vesta, her voice so soft they could hardly hear her. ‘I didn’t want you or Dad to find out.’