A Slight Change of Plan (35 page)

Regan looked a bit panicked. “Yes, Elaine, but he moved out a few weeks ago. He’s in a condo now. In Jersey City. Which is, like, more than half an hour away.”

Elaine made a very small, inelegant noise that suggested possible strangulation. “I had no idea. What has he been doing here all this time?”

Now it was my turn to panic. I did not want Elaine to know how Edward was spending his time. I also didn’t want Jake to know.

Phil dived in. “He’s been catching up with old friends, and talking with businesspeople. He was in Toronto for a while, and remember Carl Latowski? His college roommate? He spent a few weekends with him.”

Regan looked like she was desperate for a new topic, but I think Phil was enjoying it. “And it’s been great showing him around. So much has changed since he was here last.”

“When did he move to England?” I asked. I knew the answer, of course, but I couldn’t resist. Regan gave me a warning look. Hey, we were already talking about him, right?

Phil thought for a second, then turned to his mother. “He was born there, but his family came over here when he was in his early teens. He went back—when was the last time you took him to court for more alimony, Mom, 1995?”

“Somewhere around there,” she said shortly.

Phil grinned. “He returned to England right after that.”

“Really?” I said, feigning complete and total surprise. “You drove him right out of the country, Elaine?”

Under the table, Regan kicked me. Hard.

Elaine did not appear amused. But it didn’t take her long to load her next round.

“So tell me, Kate, have you found a job yet?”

I smiled. “Yes. I’ll be working for a nonprofit. The funding has just been approved, and I’ll start November first.”

“Well, dear, I hope you won’t be taking too big a cut in salary. Those nonprofits are notoriously tight.”

“True,” I countered. “Luckily, I’ve got enough stashed away that I don’t really need a big salary.”

She sniffed.

Two points for me.

Believe it or not, none of us wanted dessert, so the party broke up soon afterward. Elaine played kiss-kiss and headed for the elevators up to her room. As soon as she was out of sight, Regan burst out laughing.

“Mom,” she sputtered, “you have got to stop. Please, it’s going to be a long two weeks. Don’t make it worse.”

Phil put his arm around her. “Regan, it’s not all Kate’s fault. My mother has a habit of bringing out the worst in people.”

Jake looked at Phil. “Did she really drive him out of the country?”

Phil shrugged. “He says he was planning on going back anyway. She says he left the country so she couldn’t get any more money from him.”

Regan looked stern. “Mom, you have to promise. Remember, if you don’t behave…” She looked at me knowingly.

I kissed her. “I promise. Good night.”

As I watched them leave, Jake reached for my hand and held it tightly. “How about an after-dinner something? The bar is right here.”

I nodded. “Good idea.”

We ordered Amaretto, something we both loved. A thousand years ago, when Jake and I lived together, we’d save all our pocket change until we could afford a bottle; then we’d hide it from our friends, saving it for special occasions.

“You do know that I’m incredibly jealous of your family,” Jake said.

“Jake, in two weeks, Elaine will be part of my family.”

“Still. You are so lucky to have them. And I consider myself very lucky to be an outsider looking in.”

We were sitting across from each other in a corner of the bar. He looked happy and handsome, and I was about to ruin his evening.

“Jake, I don’t think I want to do this anymore,” I said.

He frowned. “Do what?”

“Be with you.” My mouth felt dry as dust, and I could hear my blood pounding in my ears.

“What?”

“Believe me, this is about the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I don’t want to see you anymore. It’s not that I’ve stopped loving you. I’ll never stop. But we had our moment, Jake. We had everything together. And it wasn’t enough for you. We’ll never be able to get that back, no matter how hard we try. And even if, by some chance, we came close, it would still not be enough for you.”

He shook his head. “You’re wrong, Kate. I know the mistake I made. I would never do that again.”

I nodded. “I know. But that’s not the point. It wouldn’t be enough. And I’d know it.”

His face changed, and went blank and pale.

“I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Kate, I’ll be retired in a few years. I told you. We’d be able to do anything you wanted.”

“What I want is to be the most important thing in your life. All the time. I know that maybe sounds selfish, but I’m getting a little cranky in my old age. If I’m willing to give that much to someone—and I am more than willing, to the right person—then that’s what I expect in return.”

He slumped back in his chair. “Is this about what’s-his-name? Edward?”

I shook my head. “Edward is a lovely man, and it may be that he’s the one I’ve been waiting for, but he has nothing to do with this. This is all about me, Jake. And you should understand that. Because last time, it was all about you.”

I got up, leaned down to kiss him good-bye, and walked quickly out of the bar. I didn’t even cry. When I got home, I took Boone for her walk, and crawled into bed.

And I still didn’t cry.

I didn’t sleep, but I didn’t cry.

The phone rang early, and I grabbed it on the third ring, which was pretty good, considering I’d been fast asleep.

“Mom? I’m bringing Gabe out to meet Gram.”

“How brave you are, my son. Did you have to call me at seven eighteen to tell me that?”

“Yes. We’re leaving now, stopping for bagels, and we’ll all have breakfast in about an hour. Will she be up?”

“No, but then we all can have a nice chat. I broke it off with Jake.”

“Oh, Mom. I’m so sorry.”

“Me too. See you in a bit.”

Jeff and Gabe brought bagels, lox, three kinds of cream cheese, fresh-squeezed orange juice, a small bag of Gabe’s favorite coffee, and strawberries. My mother was not awake when they arrived, so the three of us sat outside and feasted on the best breakfast in the history of breakfast.

“So, Jake?” Jeff asked. He’d waited until we were almost finished eating.

I shrugged. “Jake left me years ago because what we had together wasn’t enough for him. He wanted success and power more than he wanted to be with me. I could have forgiven him all that, honestly, but I would have still known it. We could never have gone back to the before.”

Gabe sighed. “You’re very brave, Kate. Most people would be willing to settle.”

I shrugged. “I don’t feel brave. I feel empty. But at least I’ve stopped wondering. That’s huge.” I looked at both of them. “Okay, boys, time to take the plunge. Are you ready for this?”

Jeff frowned. “Mom, what’s the big deal? Gram knows I’m gay, right?”

“Yes, honey. But there’s a difference between knowing in the abstract and actually meeting the boyfriend. Let’s head down.”

Mom did not like lox, thought the strawberries were overripe, and what was wrong with Maxwell House? She also kept looking at Gabe as though she didn’t know why he was there, although Jeff introduced him as his partner, sat at his feet, and at one point kissed him on the lips. They stayed until almost noon, insisted on leaving the bagels behind, and headed home.

Alisa came home.

Sam picked her up from the airport late that night. I wanted to stay up and welcome her, but thought about what I would have wanted, at that age, to do with Jake if I hadn’t seen him in months, so I didn’t.

I would have thought that between the jet lag and her welcome home, she’d have slept in. But she came down fairly early the next morning and threw her arms around me, hugging me for a long time. When she finally stepped back, she was crying.

“Alisa, honey, what’s wrong?” My heart was in my throat. Instead of throwing her down, caveman style, had Sam broken up with her last night instead?

“I’m just so glad to be back. And everything with Sam—he told me about that girl, and what you said to him. Thank you, thank you. You saved us. You really did.”

“Oh, Alisa, I’m so glad everything’s fine. Men are so stupid. Even the seemingly smart ones like Sam are capable of supreme idiocy.” I stuck a coffee mug in the Keurig. “And if I hadn’t had to talk to Sam about what an idiot he was being, I would not have seen my own situation for what it really was. I told Jake good-bye.”

“Kate, really? Oh, I’m so sorry for you. I thought he made you happy.”

“He did. But it was false happiness. Like eating a candy from your childhood. You remember it as being the best thing ever, but when you taste it again, it’s all sugar and fluff that just melts away.” I shrugged. “Now. Tell me about all that wonderful food.”

She went up a bit later to shower; then Sam came down, looking very happy. “Mom, life is good,” he said, head in the refrigerator. “Very good.”

“Yes, Sam, it sure is. So, I guess that means everything with Alisa?”

“Everything with Alisa is better than good. I don’t know what got into me, Mom. But right after we talked, I told Vin I was making a mistake. She got a little pissy, I guess, but you were so right about everything.” He closed the fridge, a container of yogurt in one hand, orange juice in the other. “Thanks.”

“Hey. No problem. Do you have a suit?”

“For what?”

“The wedding? This weekend?”

“I have a suit. Besides, I’m not in the wedding party, just showing people to their seats. It’s no big deal.”

“Of course it is. What are you doing today?”

“Alisa needs to talk to some people at Columbia. She starts next week. I’m going with her, even though I don’t have a class.”

“On your way home, go to the mall. Alisa already has a dress, I think. She can help you. That suit you’ve got is old, and you can’t wear khaki if you’re an usher. Get something navy blue. And new shoes.”

He put the juice back in the fridge and drank the whole glass in one gulp. “If Alisa and I get married, I don’t want any of this big wedding crap, okay?”

“Big wedding? You call this a big wedding? You really need to get out more. And what do you mean, if?”

He shrugged. “We don’t think that we need to be married to live our lives together.”

“No, honey, you don’t. But being married means something; don’t let anyone tell you different. And besides, it would make me happy, and isn’t that what you really want out of life?”

He grinned. “Sure, Mom. Okay, I’ll get a new suit.”

I beamed. Smart boy.

Cheryl called. “I have no idea what to get your daughter for this shower.”

“I know. They have an excessive amount of sheets and towels, because Regan refuses to use the same towel more than once without washing it. Phil had been living in his place for a few years before Regan moved in, and since he knew nothing about cooking, he bought every single pot,
pan, and appliance on the market. And they both hate the cutesy kind of stuff. But they’re seriously looking at houses, and I imagine they’ll have something by the beginning of next year, so they can use all their new, shiny stuff in the new place.”

“Is it a surprise?”

I made a noise. “Are you kidding? Regan planned the whole thing out with Kim, down to the favors. But they did throw her an impromptu shower at her clinic, and that was a surprise. She got a gift card from Home Depot, and silver serving spoons.”

“The bachelor party?”

“Thursday night, in the city. They’re going to see the Blue Man Group, then dinner at a ‘gentlemen’s club.’ ”

“How civilized.”

“Yes. If you’d like, you can come over to the house. I’m having a mother-of-the-bride party.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’m not sure, but MaryJo will be there, so I imagine alcohol will be involved.”

“Anything else?”

“What do you mean?”

“Should I bring something?”

“Great idea.”

The next morning I picked up MaryJo at Newark Airport. We stopped at the Short Hills Mall and had crab cakes at Legal Seafood, then walked around, window-shopped, and talked before coming home. When I told her that Jake was out of the picture, romance-wise, her jaw dropped open.

“Kate, I am so proud of you. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. Poor Jake. I bet he never saw it coming.”

I shook my head. “No, I really surprised him. I kind of surprised myself. And I’m sad, but it is such a burden lifted off my shoulders. I’m never going to have to think about him again.”

She gave me a quick hug and kiss. “I bet that’s not at all what you figured this would feel like, no?”

“No. And it feels great.”

Once again, Alisa had saved the day by agreeing to stay with Mom, and when we finally got to the house, I found them downstairs playing gin rummy.

Mom and MaryJo had met several times in the past, and MaryJo being MaryJo, she sat down with them and asked to be dealt in. I went upstairs, made about a hundred phone calls, and was trying to figure out dinner when both Alisa and MaryJo came upstairs, chatting like BFFs.

“We want Chinese takeout for dinner,” MaryJo announced. “And after that, Alisa and I are wheeling your mom to play cards. Want to come? You can bring the dog.”

“Why, thanks, I’d love to.”

“I’ll go get the food,” Alisa offered. “And MaryJo wants me to pick up a bottle of bourbon.”

“No need,” I said, reaching into the cabinet and pulling out an unopened bottle of Wild Turkey. “I know my roomie. I’m prepared.”

Having a roommate like MaryJo in college was a blessing for many reasons, not the least of which was my introduction to drinking hard liquor. She had always been a brown-booze kind of girl, and getting drunk with her those first few
months was what had turned me into a wine drinker. I had spent many a night hugging the porcelain god. It took me a while—in fact, until after I’d graduated—but it finally sank in that I just couldn’t handle the stuff. But MaryJo had mastered the art of drinking a shot—her wrist stiff, a smile on her lips, and down it would go in one neat, quick motion.

We spent most of the night doing more talking, and MaryJo, Sam, and Alisa put a big dent in the bottle. The next morning, Sam looked a bit washed out, and Alisa didn’t make it downstairs until after ten. I wasn’t going to Newark, and spent the day trying not to obsess about the bridal shower.