A Sordid Situation (5 page)

“You know that isn’t true. You’re so much more to me. You’re a
sister to me in every way but blood. And it hurts me beyond belief to know that
I have offended and hurt you.”

“Just go. I don’t blame you or Henri. This was all my doing. I
had a lapse in judgment and now I have to suffer because of it.”

“It’s that bastardly Mr. Hawthorne. I hate and despise him,” Jordanna
spat. “He never should have made that offer.” Her face was red with fury. “I
wish nothing but ill-will on him.”

“I don’t. How can I? He didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t
want to do.” Admitting this made her blush. “I could have said no at any time,
Jordanna.”

* * * *

Judgment. What did that word mean anyway? Whatever it meant, Cal
Hawthorne was sure that he indeed, lacked it.

The image of Eugenia fleeing his bedroom ran through his mind as
he inebriated himself in the study, still dressed in his night attire. A dark
mood had followed him throughout the day and all he wanted now was to be alone
with his thoughts and strong whiskey.

The offer really had been made in jest; it was just a way to get
close to her. And now he had done the exact opposite by driving her out of his
life.

He slammed his fist down on the desk causing various items to
scatter in front of him. Damn it! He’d go to her tonight come hell or high
water. He’d make amends and show her he really did care. Even if she rejected
him, she’d know he wasn’t some heartless bastard.

During their liaison, something else had happened. He’d
remembered her. At first it didn’t come to him. He couldn’t pin point where or
how they had met. It had been in passing, of that much he was sure. Then it all
came rushing back. Eugenia was one of the girls who worked the halls.
Specifically the one that William had frequented.

* * * *

It was as if she was bound to relive the past once again. Before
William, she had sold herself many times, first on the streets and then in the
hall. It was a cheap act and one that she didn’t enjoy, but doing it meant
survival.

The deed itself was easy, most times she’d just lay there and let
them get atop of her and do their thing. When they were done, they left. It was
as simple as that. She’d thought it would be the same with
Cal
, but much to her dismay, it wasn’t.

With the other men it had been purely physical. She was used for
their amusement and pleasure. They paid for her services. It was supposed to be
the same with
Cal
.
She could hate him; she could refute him and pretend that none of it ever
happened. But there was no turning back the clock on what they had started.
There was no safe barrier for her emotions.

After dinner, she settled in her bedroom and promptly shut the
door behind her. If only she could have locked out the entire world so simply.

She fell asleep fast, her mind but a cluster of torment, emotions
rampaging through her heart. Her soul had become a myriad of displeasure.

Voices, so many voices of the past and present caused her to stir
slightly, but it was a hand caressing her cheek that caused her to come awake
with a start.

A figure, cloaked within the darkness of the room sat on the edge
of the bed. She jumped when he spoke.

“Don’t be afraid, it’s only me,” said the deep male voice she
instantly recognized as
Cal
.

“But…how did you get in?” Then it came to her. The back door was
rarely locked.

“You should speak to someone about keeping all the doors locked
at night. I was going to knock at first, but at this ungodly hour, and it was
open….”

He had a point.

“Why are you here? You took a big risk coming here and at this
hour. If someone had seen you, it would have just sealed their notions of me.
Do you even realize we’ve become the talk of the town?”

“Have we?” he appeared to be surprised.

“Yes. Apparently, I’ve become your mistress. Now isn’t that a
bunch of malarkey.”

“I’ve come for a reason Eugenia, and it isn’t to discuss the
wagging tongues of a few who have nothing better to do than gossip. Why did you
leave in such a hurry?”

His question rattled her. She was stuck for an answer.

“The transaction was over, why stick around? The deed was done.”
There, he now had his answer and he could leave the same way he had come.

“It wasn’t like that and you know it. I’m not that kind of man,
and if somehow I cheapened either the act or you, then I do apologize. That was
never my intent.”

Eugenia crossed her arms as a barrier for her body, and perhaps,
her heart. “I think I overestimated my boundaries, and I allowed myself to get
carried away in the heat of the moment. I’ve never enjoyed….” She stopped.
“Well, I’m sure you get the idea.”

“It couldn’t have been easy for you. I remember you, before
William and any of this.”
Cal
touched her arm gently and gazed into her eyes.

She blushed scarlet at the mention of her past. “No one is
supposed to know about any of that. I don’t even like to think about those
days.” She turned her head from him, embarrassed. What he must think of her
now….

Cal
leaned over her, his weight baring down on her slightly…his lips lingering
inches from her own. The man clearly had no intention of leaving her be.

“Who cares what
they
think. Do you think for one moment they think any better of me? Sure, they are
cordial when required, but only because I have money. In their minds I’m
nothing more than new money that’s begotten in ill mannered ways. But ask me if
I care?”

“Well do you?” She gazed into his fiery eyes, terrified at what
she saw staring back. She hated the unknown.

“No. Why should I worry about something so trivial? Life’s too
short for that. I have one other reason for coming here tonight. It’s to ask
you a question. One that’s of importance.”

“Yes? What is it?”

He hesitated. “Would you marry me?”

“You and I? No, it would never work. Definitely not.” Never in a
million years would she consider being his wife.

* * * *

“And why not?”
Cal
asked, baffled by her quick rebuttal. Had she even thought about it? “We could
make them eat their words.”

“Yet you claim not to care what
they
think.”

She was quick with the tongue, he liked that. She excited him!

“I don’t.”

“And, I’m not so sure I like your solutions. It’s what got me
into this mess to begin with.”

She could be down right insufferable when she wanted to be. “I
didn’t force you to do anything. Did I not tell you that you could back out at
anytime?”

“You did. But a marriage built of convenience would solve nothing
and in the end we would despise each other.”

“Woman,” he murmured deeply. “I’m not looking for convenience,
I’m looking for love and shant settle for anything less. Can’t you see what’s
right in front of your face? I’m in love with you!”

She sat up abruptly, her back straight, and then slid to the edge
of the bed. “You love me?”

“Yes.”

“But we’ve known each other for only a short time. A
very
short time.”

“I’ve loved you from the first moment we met. Though, I didn’t
quite know it at the time. We had chemistry. It drew us to one another. Call it
fate, call it whatever you want, but here we are and I have yet to receive an
answer.”

“
Cal
,
this is all so sudden. I don’t know what to say.”

“So it’s a no,” he replied, answering for her. “Just as I
expected.”

“How can I say yes?”

“And what about love?” he pleaded. “Does love mean anything to
you? Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have any feelings for me. If you
can do that, then I’ll go and never bother you again. You have my solemn word,
and my word is worth more than gold.”

The simple fact of her not being able to make eye contact with
him answered his question, but would she say the words?

“I have my answer.” He stood and started to shed his clothes,
tossing each item to the floor as she looked on with amusement and
astonishment.

“Whatever are you doing? If someone should see….”

“Be damned with them and everyone else in this life. For tonight,
it’s only about you and me. You won’t refuse me, because in your heart you want
me just as much as I want you.” He was right and he darned well knew it. She
was his now and would be from this night onward.

“But, this isn’t proper—”

“What is this crazy world is? Don’t deny me, Eugenia. Don’t deny
what’s good and right. And to hell with being proper! I’m done with it and so
are you.”

* * * *

A shiver of delight spun throughout Eugenia’s body as
Cal
slid next to her,
naked under the bedclothes. The right thing would have been to shove him out of
bed and demand he leave, but her heart and mind told her different.

Deny, deny, deny.
Denial seemed more like a way of life for her these days. But now she wasn’t
denying anything.

The look of surprise on his face was amusing to say the least, as
she straddled him and pushed his arms back, leaving him in a very compromising
position. The sensation of being in control overwhelmed her.

“I never expected this,” he muttered.

“I’m a woman of many secrets as you know.” This was new and
liberating. She was now in total control and she loved it.

Underneath her nightdress, Eugenia felt her nipples harden and
when she pulled it up over her head and tossed it to the side; she ground her
hips down against his throbbing hardness.

It was a kiss that had first connected them and now she wanted
more. Slowly, she curved her body over his and tasted his lips, teasing him,
writhing her body against him.

Cal
pushed up wanting more, but she giggled and pulled away.

“Such a tease,” he said, and then a devilish grin curved his
lips.

She smiled, grasping his hands and placed them on her breasts.

“Perfect,” he groaned, squeezing each.

She ground down against him again.

“You’re driving me crazy. I need to be inside you. I want to feel
you holding me, wrapped within your warmth.”

Grasping his erection, she stroked him and then guided him toward
her entrance, slowing slipping him inside in a fluid motion. The friction
between them caused her to throw back her head in delicious delight. Her
nipples tingled and perked as she played with them, riding him with smooth,
even strokes. Unbridled ecstasy sluiced through her body.

Rotating her hips slowly, she found a rhythm that was not only
pleasurable for him but also for her.

“I won’t last if you keep that up.” He groaned, his hips meeting
her every movement. “I’ve never felt anything so—”

“Perfect? You will again, Mr. Hawthorne…forever.”

“I love you, Eugenia, with everything that’s in my heart and
soul.”

She increased her pace, wanting him to explode deep inside her,
to feel his seed flood her with warmth.

The tension rose between them. She looked down to the man who lay
beneath her, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight flooding into the room from
the windows. And it came to her. This was right.
Cal
was the one for her.

“And I love you,” she announced. And with that, she felt him
tense and release inside her. This in turn triggered her own orgasm and when
she collapsed on top of him, she just laid there, her head resting on his
chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Cal
was the first to speak. “So, you’ll marry me?”

She paused, then pushed back to look down at him. “Yes. I love
you, Cal. As much as I denied it, I guess I always had. I want us to be
together, forever.”

“Then a spring wedding it shall be, with everything you could
ever dream.”

Dreams.

Once she’d thought they were just that, impossible illusions that
would never come to be. Even with William, try as she might, she was never
content. Over the years, Eugenia fooled herself into believing that she didn’t
deserve happiness. And for the longest time, she was content in just having
security, be that as it may. After all, she’d come from less than nothing and
she was thankful for what fortune she had.

Life was funny like that. And much like a book, when one chapter
closed, another one opened. That’s how she would look at it from this night
onward.

The End

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