A Star is Born (20 page)

W
HEN
we walked into the hallway outside of the ICU entrance we got a big surprise. Big. Huge. I had no idea that they were going to do this, but waiting there for us were none other than Derrick and Moira.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

“Bill told us what was going on. We wanted to be here for you,” Moira answered.

“I know there’s nothing we can do,” Derrick added, “but we wanted you to know that we care and are here for you.”

For once, I actually believed what he said, so before I could stop myself I reached out and gave him a hug. Not a quick hug, but a grapple-onto-the-man hug.

“Hey!” Moira complained. “Can I get a little of that action?” So we added her to the hug.

Bill made introductions, since my dad hadn’t met either Derrick or Moira. He, of course, knew all about who they were, but they hadn’t met face to face before now.

“Do you want to see her?” Dad asked.

Both Derrick and Moira looked uncertain.

“It’s okay,” I added. “You should stop and say hello.”

“Is she awake?” Moira asked.

“No,” I answered. “She may not wake up. That’s why it’s important to say hello now while you still have time.”

Derrick cast a wide-eyed glance at Moira before grabbing her hand. Bill and I led them into the ICU and to my mom’s room. Bill’s presence earlier had raised some eyebrows, but now to have Bill
and
Derrick together, people stopped what they were doing and just looked. No one approached us. These were professionals, but they did stop to look and smile a hello.

I knew that we were way over the number of visitors allowed in a patient room of the ICU, so I made the “introductions,” and then Bill and I stepped outside into the hallway. Moira and Derrick came out a minute later, as did my dad.

After explaining to Derrick and Moira that Dad was going to go across the street to get some sleep, Moira said that she was going to go over and get a room as well to do the same. She told me several times that she was just a phone call away if we needed anything during the night. My dad guided her out, and that was the last we saw of them for that day. I’m sure that he was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, or at least I hoped that was the case, since the man looked absolutely exhausted.

Bill, Derrick, and I took up residence in the small ICU waiting room. The crowd from earlier had thinned out substantially. There were a few other people like us, who were basically keeping vigil.

After a moment of silence, Derrick got down on one knee in front of me and said, “Mark, I’m so sorry this happened to her. I would give anything for this to have never happened. She is a good person. No, she is a great person. After my earlier years, I think it’s fair to say that I abhor violence. I’m not a violent man, but I would like just five minutes alone in the room with the asshole who did this to her.” He didn’t say anything else but simply laid his head down on my lap for a moment.

So we started our vigil. I had no idea what time of day or night it was. It really didn’t matter. I didn’t know and I didn’t care. All I knew is that the chairs in the waiting room were things that must have been left over from the Inquisition. There was absolutely no way that anyone could sit comfortably in those chairs. We all tried every which way, but it just couldn’t be done.

Every thirty minutes or so, one of us would go around the corner and into the ICU to check on things. The other person who was keeping vigil was watching the one TV in the waiting room. One time when I came back from checking on things, I walked in to find that, of all things, an episode from Derrick and Bill’s new series was on the television. Since Derrick and Bill were sitting basically beneath the TV, the man who was watching finally figured out that the men across the room were the same men who were on the TV screen above their head. His eyes widened, but he didn’t say a word.

I pointed out to the guys that their show was on. Bill hated watching himself on screen, but Derrick had no problem with it, so we all sat and watched for a minute. Derrick excitedly said, “Bill! Bill! You remember how much trouble you had with your next line?”

“Oh, please don’t remind me,” he said, hiding his face in his hands and shaking his head. Derrick gave the line that Bill was supposed to say, and then a few of the variations that he’d said before he got the line straight. After a commercial, Derrick pulled Bill to his feet and said, “Bill! You remember this next part. Who could forget?” And the two of them proceeded to give their lines from memory along with their characters on screen. A couple of people on staff stopped to watch, since it was just about unheard of that you got to see people on screen and in front of you doing the same thing—at least in the hospital ICU.

After their episode ended, I went back into my mom’s room and sat in the chair beside her bed for a few minutes. I talked with her. “Mom, you wouldn’t believe what Bill and Derrick just did,” I started, intending to tell her the story, but I couldn’t continue. I simply lay my head on the bed and held her hand. I had never been a religious man—none of us were—but I considered it in those moments.

I was able to tune out all of the background noises, all of the voices, all of the hubbub, all of the beeping, and simply focus on that one moment, that one place. And in the midst of all that unhappiness, I almost felt at peace for the first time in a long while. I don’t know why, but I did. I can’t explain it.

Take Care of My Boys

T
HAT
night was long. When I took a break and left my mother’s bedside, I returned to the waiting room to find the guys sound asleep, lying side by side, flat on the floor. I guess they had given up on those frightfully uncomfortable chairs. What I wasn’t sure about was how the hard floor was going to be any easier on their backs. There was at least carpet on the floor, but it wasn’t all that thick. But it didn’t seem to be bothering the guys, since they were both sound asleep. The other occupant of the waiting room had disappeared. I had no idea if he was gone because he had received good news or bad news or simply wore out, but the bottom line is that he was gone and the TV was off—thankfully.

I returned to the chair in the ICU and promptly fell asleep. Though it was by no means restful, I got some sleep. Throughout the night, I was awakened by an alarm on some machine somewhere going off, by someone coming in to take vitals, by someone dropping something, by any of a thousand different noises that were not part of my usual night. Each noise roused me out of sleep to the point that finally, around 4:00 a.m., I simply gave up even trying.

I moved from the chair and stood at the window in the room, looking outside, trying to see if anything was happening outside the hospital. Since it was four o’clock in the morning, there was predictably nothing happening.

For a change of scenery, I moved out into the common area of the ICU and found a bench seat along one wall. Sitting down there, I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands. When I heard someone sit down beside me, I quickly lifted my head. The doctor we had spoken with earlier was beside me, smiling at me.

“You look about as tired as I feel,” she said.

I simply laughed. “Do they ever let you go home?”

“I’m on for twelve hours four days in a row, so yes, I do get to go home, although some days it doesn’t feel like it.”

“And today’s one of those days, I take it.”

“Yes, indeed.” We were quiet for a moment. “We’ve nearly gotten through the night, which is a good sign. In the morning—well, later in the morning—we’ll start to wean her off the drugs that are keeping her unconscious and see how she responds. If she becomes agitated at all, we’ll have to keep her out of it a bit longer.”

“Well, let’s hope she responds well.”

“You have quite a little entourage with you. How do you know all of them?”

“Bill is my partner. Derrick is our friend, which is how they started to work together. And it actually goes back farther than that because the woman, Moira—we live in her house in LA—she got Bill his first job, giving tours at the studio where she works. It’s a long story, but one thing led to another which led to another, and before you know it I’ve got two Hollywood stars to contend with on a daily basis. They’re the best, but don’t tell them that I said that, because just as often they’re a pain in the backside.”

“Deal.”

The remainder of the night, such as it was, passed quietly and uneventfully. At about 7:00 a.m., Moira and my dad appeared at the ICU waiting room, and we had a changing of the guard, so to speak. Bill and Derrick were both still sleeping on the floor when I had last checked on them at about 6:00 a.m., so I wasn’t sure if they would want or need more sleep. I knew that I certainly did.

With Moira and my dad set up for the day, I made sure they both had my cell phone number (of course they did—if I’d had some sleep and my brain wasn’t so foggy I would have realized that), and then I made my way out of the hospital and across the street to the motel. Bill and Derrick both walked with me, to do what I had no idea. Since we were all hungry, we made a stop at a little diner that was next to the motel. My guess was that, with a captive audience, they must do an okay business.

It was surprisingly busy, but then I really wasn’t entirely sure what the time was. When a menu was placed in front of me, I was having trouble reading it and making a decision. Bill, thankfully, simply took the menu from me and ordered something he knew I would like—that is one benefit of being with a boyfriend for a while.

Shortly thereafter, a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs appeared in front of me and I ate. I am assuming that someone paid the bill, because I don’t think I did. Apparently I was falling asleep, so the guys hustled me back to the motel and put me to bed. I remember getting undressed, but the next thing I knew it was later. I was alone in the room, but when I looked around I found a note from Bill propped up on the bedside table.

Mark
—

Hope you slept well. Having something to eat and then going over to relieve Moira and your Dad.

Bill

Short, simple, and to the point—I didn’t need more detail after just waking up.

I crawled out of bed and into the bathroom, where I greeted the shower like a long-lost friend. I didn’t know if the East Coast was dealing with water shortages like the West Coast, but I didn’t care. I simply climbed in and let the water run over my naked body. Eventually I used soap and scrubbed myself, washed my hair, and the usual shower things, but mostly the water was simply refreshing.

Rinsed, I toweled dry, found some clothes, found my keys, wallet, the usual essentials of life, and opened the door to see if it was day or night, hot or cold, dry or wet. It turned out to be late afternoon, dry, and on the edge between cool and comfortable. I decided to go back to the hospital first before thinking about food.

Bill and Derrick were both sitting in the waiting room. There was no sign of my dad or of Moira.

“Hey, guys.”

“Look who’s up!” Derrick teased.

“Yep, decided to give it a try. You’d almost think I was part vampire, sleeping all day and staying awake all night.”

“Well—” Bill started before I shushed him. There were others in the waiting room who didn’t need to hear the details of one of our intimate conversations.

“Where’s Dad? Moira?”

“She went back to the motel to make some phone calls for work. He’s in with your mom.”

“Any changes in her condition?” I asked hopefully.

Bill simply shook his head.

“Have they started to wake her up?”

“I don’t know. Let’s go find out,” Bill said. The two of them stood, and we walked together around the corner and into the ICU. Moira was walking down the hall just as we were going around the corner, so she walked in with us.

At my mom’s room, there was not just my dad but two nurses and a doctor. And I had the answer to my earlier question: they were indeed waking her up. She was disoriented at first, but then who wouldn’t be after such an experience. I can only guess that if the tables were turned I’d be feeling disoriented. I mean, really, you come out of the grocery store, get shot, and then you’re in a strange bed with a whole bunch of people clustered around you, all looking at you.

She recognized my dad first, since he was standing closest to her. He held her hand and spoke quietly to her.

“Where’s Mark?” she asked.

I pushed my way to stand on her other side, also took her hand and held it while I told her I was there as well. Since it seemed the right thing to do, I pulled Bill in so he could do the same thing.

“All my boys are here,” she said before dozing off for a few minutes.

The doctor and one of the nurses exited the room, but the rest of us stayed. She roused again a few minutes later and seemed clearer this time.

When she seemed aware of everything, I introduced her to Derrick.

“I remember you,” she said weakly.

“I just wanted to say thank you and get well quick.” He stepped back.