Authors: Meredith Schorr
Buddy smiled. “Well Frances Jane. I really do need to get these CDs off my back. But what do you say to a rendezvous in the park, say the volleyball courts in Sheep's Meadow, in an hour?”
“Make it two and you've got yourself a date, Buddy.”
“Brill.” Standing up, he waved to the girls. Winking at me, he said, “Cheerio. See you in two hours” and walked away.
After watching him make his way to the exit, I continued eating my pancakes. When I looked up from my plate, Marissa was looking at me wide-eyed. “You're not seriously gonna meet that guy are you?”
Shrugging, I said, “Why not? He was cute!”
“I guess,” Marissa muttered. “You don't even know his name though.”
“He doesn't know mine either! That's the fun of it.”
Lainie laughed. “Not sure what's gotten into you, but I'm digging this new Jane! Or shall I say, Frances.”
“Just having some fun, girls. Never killed anyone.”
Clinking her glass of orange juice against mine, Lainie offered an enthusiastic, “Amen to that.”
Ignoring Marissa's furrowed brow, I smiled at Lainie and repeated, “Amen, sista!”
C
HAPTER
24
Two hours later, after finishing my breakfast and a long, hot shower, I crossed the 72nd Street transverse, zigzagged out of the path of the many runners taking advantage of the unusually warm temperature for December and walked west toward the volleyball courts in Sheep's Meadow. Buddy was leaning against a tree. I only got the side view but could see him take a deep drag of a cigarette and blow the smoke skywards. I felt the pitter-patter in my belly as I wondered what the day would bring for Frances Jane. I anticipated far more excitement would ensue than in the typical Sunday of one Jane Frank.
To start, Jane would have chosen her outfit based on how well it camouflaged her ass, but Frances was wearing tight black skinny jeans with a cropped soft pink sweater emphasizing her rear-end in all its squeezable/biteable glory. Jane would spend the afternoon outwardly making entertaining conversation with Buddy while inwardly wondering how her first name would sound before his last and worrying how many dates she should wait to sleep with him. But Frances would toss all that nonsense aside and enjoy the ride in full certainty that there was no point worrying about a future that would never unfold. Frances would live for today.
Finally, Jane would have done an about face the minute she spotted Buddy smoking. She hated smokers and didn't want to raise
children in a smoking environment. But Frances had no desire to procreate with Buddy and couldn't care less if he was a pack-a-day kind of guy.
Buddy didn't seem to see or hear me approach so I leaned against the other side of the tree, stretched out my hand and lightly jabbed him in the side, forcing his feet to lift slightly off the ground in surprise. He turned around and smiled when he saw it was me. “Blimey, Frances, I didn't even see you coming!”
Keeping my hand on the tree, I pivoted so I was standing in front of him. “Didn't mean to scare you.”
He nodded and smiled again. With a quick glance at his black leather cuff watch, he said, “You're right on time.”
Jane would've purposely arrived five minutes late, but Frances had no interest in playing games since she never won.
I noticed his bag from earlier was not in sight. “Any luck selling the CDs?”
Buddy raised his eyebrows and said, “Depends on your definition of luck. I sold them all but for sod all.”
Knowing Jane would have pretended she had the slightest clue what that meant, I said, “No comprende British-speak.”
Laughing, Buddy explained, “I sold them, yes, but I might as well have given them away.” He motioned west towards the expanse of greens. “Shall we walk?”
I nodded and accepted Buddy's hand as we walked through the park. Buddy, who had only been in New York for six months, was decidedly enthusiastic about the beauty of Central Park. We walked up to the Belvedere Castle, through the great lawn and ended our tour watching the model sail boats at the Conservatory. Our legs heavy as tree stumps from our scenic explorations, we left the park and headed to Baker Street Pub where we sat at the bar with Scotch Mist whisky cocktails before us.
Buddy was sitting sideways, his long legs crossed and resting on the foot of my bar stool. I was initially facing forward and turning only my head toward Buddy but after the second drink, I mirrored his body language.
Buddy trapped my legs between his and traced his palms up and down my thighs. Feeling the warmth of the alcohol coursing
through my loins, I leaned over and kissed him. He kissed me back and when I felt his tongue gently massaging mine, I moved so I was standing between his legs. I held his stubbled cheeks in my hands as I kissed him more passionately.
Buddy pulled away, bringing me back to reality. Feeling a bit other-worldly, I looked at him confused. “Is something wrong?”
Buddy shook his head and when his black eyes pierced into mine, I felt like he could see through my clothes. “Nothing's wrong, Frances,” he said. “You're a dish, that's all. And it's not just because I'm sloshed.”
I leaned over and nibbled on his soft earlobe. Blowing in his ear, I said, “You're a dish too. Not sure if it's because I'm sloshed, but I don't really care.”
“Not to sound cliché, but should we take this someplace more comfortable?”
I nodded my response.
He nodded back. “Your place or mine?”
As if injected with an anti-drunk remedy, I was immediately bolted back into the real world as I thought about how to answer his question. Even with my new philosophy toward men, going to his place was not an option. I had been Jane for far too long to trust going to some strange guy's apartment. Bringing him to mine was out of the question as well. Frances Jane was not having sex with Buddy the Brit at Jane Alexis's apartment. My mind racing, I flashed back to my bathroom the previous evening, when Claire was doing my makeup. She mentioned something about leaving for Philadelphia early the next morning to visit Kevin's parents and how he'd bribed her into it with a promise to stop for a cheese steak on the way home. Claire reasoned it was OK to consume a cheese steak after eating dinner with her in-laws since she was eating for two.
I surmised that even if they ate dinner at 5:00, they wouldn't be home until at least 9:00 which meant I could use my spare key to get inside, have my fun, and leave without anyone knowing and without giving away my true identity and complicating things.
Returning my attention to Buddy, I said, “My place.”
Buddy called out “Cheers” to the bartender, tossed some cash on the bar and winked at me. Gesturing towards the exit, he said, “Shall we?”
* * *
I collapsed onto my back, my body glistening with sweat after the best sexual experience of my life. Well, the best sexual experience I ever had on my sister's living room floor. (I couldn't bring myself to do it on her and Kevin's bed and told Buddy the walls of the bedroom were being painted and the fumes were dangerous).
I turned my head toward Buddy, who was leaning on his elbow and facing me. I glanced over his head at the grandfather clock behind him. It wasn't even 8:00 but I wanted to get him out of the apartment soon, just in case my sister decided to skip the cheese steak on the way home.
Running his hands gently up and down my arm, Buddy smiled. “I suppose now that we've shagged, you should know my name is not really Buddy.”
I bolted up and realizing I was naked, wrapped my hoodie around my lower half, ironically self-conscious after sleeping with a stranger. “That's OK. Buddy works for me! Let's not ruin the mystery. You — Buddy, Me — Jane, ha ha.” I pounded my fists on my chest Tarzan-style until I realized my slip. “So, uh, I totally forgot I need to do some grocery shopping so, well, this was fun!”
Buddy, also buck naked, stood up and stretched his arms above his head. I glanced at his fair skinned body, slender and hairless except for a small patch on his chest. I avoided gazing downwards, again ironically, since his privates had been in the most intimate quarters with mine mere moments ago. He came closer to me and drew me into an embrace, our nude bodies once again pressed together until I moved away. He looked me and up down and flashed me a devilish grin. “Jane, huh? OK, fair enough. I'm sure there's more mystery to you than a fake name and I want to solve it. He gazed into my eyes. “Slowly.”
I slipped on my jeans, not even caring that I wasn't wearing panties. Concentrating on checking the rug for the used condom so I didn't have to look him in the eyes, I said, “Uh, that's sweet, Buddy. Really. But, to be honest, I'm not looking for anything, well, anything long term. Like more than one day.” My heart was pounding in the
aftermath of my first one night stand and I wondered who had taken control of Jane.
Buddy leaned over to pull up his black jeans. He had stopped smiling and his lower lip was protruding almost in a pout. He actually looked genuinely disappointed, although I doubted he really cared all that much. He was hot and could easily pick up a girl at the corner diner next weekend for another Sunday Fun-day if he wanted. He turned his back towards me as he put his shirt back on and we stood there in silence. Finally, he turned around.
“Wow, Jane. I'd heard that you New York City girls were a ruthless bunch but, blimey, I wasn't expecting it from you.” With that, Buddy grabbed his wallet and keys and headed to the front door of Claire and Kevin's apartment. With a quick glance behind him, he muttered, “Thanks for the shag” and walked out.
After he left I quickly got dressed, took a cursory look around the room, and high-tailed it out of the apartment. I didn't breathe until I turned the corner of my own block ten minutes later. I wondered what time Claire and Kevin would be home and was relieved they'd never know what transpired on their living room floor. Claire would never believe me anyway. Jane Alexis would never have sex with a random stranger. Much less in her sister's apartment.
Giggling as I headed up my walk-up, I thought to myself, “Apparently such activities were not out of the question for Frances Jane! Ruthless New York City girl indeed!”
I was anxious to share the events of the day with Lainie but when I saw she wasn't home, I jumped in the shower instead. As the hot water cascaded over my body, I thought about how good a bubble bath would have felt instead and questioned my quick escape from Claire's apartment since she had a Jacuzzi tub. After I toweled off and put on my pajamas, I checked my phone. Among two text messages from Marissa, the first asking if I was alive and the second demanding that I text her back, was a text from Todd saying, “Hi” and a voicemail asking if I wanted to grab some wings at Manny's and watch “the game.” As if I was supposed to know to which game he was referring. Annoyed, I deleted both his text and voicemail and after confirming to Marissa that I was alive and well, opened up my
LSAT practice exam book. I hadn't spent nearly as much time focusing on the upcoming test as I'd promised my father and if I didn't study more, I was afraid I'd only get into a third tier-law school. I answered two of the questions and was reading the third when there was a knock on the door. Before I could answer, Lainie barged in, jumped on my bed and said, “So?”
I folded the page of the book and tossed it onto the wooden floor next to my bed. I took a deep breath, smiled at Lainie and said, “So, I was thinking about what you said about the fun in playing the field.” I paused dramatically.
Lainie's lips curled up as she nodded and asked, “What did you decide?”
My facial expression serious, I stood up on the bed with my hands on my hips and looked down at Lainie who was sitting on the edge awaiting my reply. Not able to contain myself any longer, I jumped up and down and while clapping my hands excitedly, exclaimed, “It's awesome! Who needs a boyfriend when you can have boyfriends!” Noticing Lainie's amused reaction, I grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she was standing too and, holding hands, we jumped up and down until, exhausted, we both collapsed onto the bed.
Lainie started to speak but I couldn't make out what she was saying because she was also laughing hysterically. With one hand holding her stomach, she raised the other in the air with one finger pointing up. Then she put her hand to her mouth and took a deep breath. Finally composed, she said, “I guess Frances and Buddy had fun today, huh?”
I nodded. With a sly smile, I said, “Frances was a very bad girl today.”
With both her mouth and eyes wide open, Lainie said, “You didn't!”
Bobbing my head and up down, I confirmed, “Oh, yes, I did!”
Looking at me in disbelief, Lainie repeated, “No, you didn't!”
Still nodding, I said, “Oh, yes, I did!”
Laughing again, Lainie said, “Well, I'll be damned. Jane Frank had sex on a first date.”
“It's only worth counting if there's gonna be a second date,” I said matter-of-factly.
“And the jury says?”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. Not interested.”
Lainie frowned. “Sex sucked, huh? What? Small dick?”
“No and no. Just not interested,” I shrugged.
With her brow furrowed, Lainie asked, “Was he not nice?”
She looked genuinely concerned and I was afraid she thought Buddy forced himself on me. To defend my ability to horde off an inappropriately aggressive guy, I insisted, “No, he was super nice!”
“Not enough attraction?”
“No! Did you see him? I could never sleep with a guy I wasn't attracted to. I've only been with three other guys in my life!” Two of them in the past five months, I noted to myself.
Lainie leaned in toward me, as if preparing for a heart to heart chat. “So, what's the issue? Is it that guy Todd?”
Surprised that Lainie did not appreciate the beauty of the one night stand, I was no longer enthused by the conversation. I stood up, grabbed my facial moisturizer from my vanity and began applying it, my back to Lainie. “There is no issue. Just not interested in seeing the guy again.” I turned back around and faced Lainie whose mouth was half-opened as if about to say something. Cutting her off, I said, “So, I'm really beat. Long day for Jane. Or shall I say, Frances!”