A Taste of Paradise (33 page)

Though grateful for the earl's hospitality, Sophia couldn't accept his generous offer. Not when she was undecided as to where she would settle permanently. She needed a home to call her own, and that wasn't necessarily at Sunset Hill with Chris.

To that end, Sophia said, “I know Chris wanted us to stay here, but I intend to find suitable lodgings as soon as possible. Chris gave me access to his bank account, so I won't be dependent on anyone.”

“But, Sophia, we are your family,” Grace said in a hurt voice.

Touched, Sophia said, “I know, and I shall depend upon you and His Lordship for many things, but I am not sure Chris and I can heal our differences. I don't want to impose on you at a time like this. Then there is Casper to consider. You know Chris found him living on the streets. He's not accustomed to luxurious surroundings. He's seen too much of the world, some of it sordid, and sailed with Chris too long to be treated like most children his age. Both Casper and I would be happier living on our own.”

Justin shook his head. “I believe you are making a mistake, but I will honor your wishes. If you like, I will accompany you to Christian's bank and help you find appropriate lodgings.”

“I'm glad you understand,” Sophia replied.

“But, Sophia,” Grace objected, “you and Chris married against all odds. You were fated to be together. I know Chris. He wouldn't have wed you unless he wanted to. What can possibly be wrong between you that cannot be healed?”

“It's a long story. Suffice it to say, our marriage was forced upon Chris. I'm not sure he wishes it to continue.”

“But you love Christian; I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him.”

Sophia lowered her eyes. “Unrequited love is a difficult cross to bear.”

“Oh, Sophia, I'm sure Chris—”

Sophia gave Grace a sad smile. “I know you are aware of our history together, my lady. Chris still bears the guilt of Desmond's death. Unless he can resolve his guilt, our marriage is doomed. It should have never happened. I told him it was a mistake, and so it was.”

Grace bowed her head. “I'm sorry.”

“As I am, my lady.”

Grace struggled to her feet. Justin rushed to help her. “I am tired. We will speak further in the morning, Sophia. I will give you the name of a dressmaker who can furnish you with a wardrobe appropriate for English weather. You have but to mention my name and she will put all her efforts into dressing you as quickly as possible.”

“Thank you, Grace.”

During the following days, Sophia spent a good deal of time at the dressmaker and finding clothing for Casper. They both shivered in their thin attire and were grateful when the first items of their wardrobe arrived. Sophia now had access to Chris's bank account and was taking Justin's advice about which parts of London would be appropriate for her to seek lodgings.

Within a month, she had rented a small, tastefully furnished town house on Russell Square that came with three servants. The rent was reasonable, since it was a less fashionable but still respectable area of London.

The day before Sophia was to settle into her new home, Grace went into labor, delaying Sophia's move. The midwife was sent for. While they waited, Sophia did her best to make Grace comfortable.

As the hours dragged on, Justin became frantic with worry. The midwife sent him away until he could calm himself, assuring him that all was going well. After Justin left, Grace clung to Sophia's hand, squeezing until Sophia feared her bones would break. About twelve hours after her labor commenced, Grace gave birth to a baby boy. The healthy lad began crying the moment he slid into the midwife's capable hands. Sophia had never seen anything more beautiful than that tiny scrap of humanity.

When Justin rushed in to see his wife and son, Sophia tiptoed out to give them privacy. She smiled and spread her hands over her stomach. It was quite possible that she had come away from Jamaica carrying Chris's child. A footman met her at the bottom of the stairs.

“Milady, a letter arrived for you today.” He offered it to her on a silver salver.

Sophia accepted the letter and went into a small parlor at the back of the house to read it. It was from Chris. He must have sent it shortly after she'd left for it to have reached her so soon. She ripped it open and read the contents.

Chris wrote that the attack upon the Maroons never took place. It had been called off after an advance patrol informed the militia that the Maroons would be impossible to find. They had abandoned their campsites and moved into the mountains. No further instances of rebellion had occurred, and everything was back to normal.

The last part of the letter stunned Sophia. The
Intrepid
was bringing Chris to England to fetch her and Casper! He expected to arrive about three or four weeks after his letter reached her. He hoped to be in time for the christening of Justin's heir. Furthermore, he expected Sophia to return to Jamaica with him.

Nothing in Chris's letter raised her hopes for their future together. He hadn't said he missed her. There was no loving salutation or fond ending. Just Chris's edict scrawled across the paper, as if he expected her blind obedience. Had he learned nothing about her in all the time they had been together?

Three days after Grace gave birth, Sophia and Casper moved into their new lodgings.

Chris didn't regret sending Sophia away, for he had done it to keep her from harm. What he did regret was their bitter parting. Did she mean what she had said about not returning to Jamaica when the danger was over? Knowing Sophia, he was sure she had meant every word. But he wouldn't accept that. He had missed Sophia more than he imagined, more than he'd wanted to admit.

That was why he had written her the moment he realized it was safe for her to return. The ship that carried his letter had arrived in Kingston two weeks after Sophia had left.

Two more weeks after his letter was on its way, the
Intrepid
had arrived in Kingston. After the hold was loaded with rum, molasses and sugar, the
Intrepid
had sailed to England with Chris at the helm and Lord Chester as a passenger.

Chris wasn't concerned about his plantation during his absence for he had left Mundo in charge. All the cane had been processed, and there was nothing to do for a month or two except normal maintenance.

The
Intrepid
docked in the London Pool four weeks later, delayed several days by a violent storm. Chris hadn't seen Sophia for nearly three months and was the first one down the gangplank. Leaving Dirk Blaine in charge, he hailed a hackney and gave the driver his brother's direction. Then he sat back and tried to envision the kind of reception he would receive from Sophia and what it would take to convince her to return to Jamaica.

“Chris!” Justin exclaimed upon Chris's arrival. “Sophia said you were returning to London. And just in time for the christening. Come in, come in.”

“Is Sophia here?”

It took but a few words from Justin to shatter Chris's hopes for reconciliation with Sophia.

“I'm sorry, Chris. Sophia moved to her own lodgings and took Casper with her. I don't think she felt comfortable here.”

“Come inside, Chris,” Justin invited. “We need to talk before you speak with your wife.”

Chris followed Justin into the parlor.

“First things first. I have a son,” Justin said proudly.

Chris slapped Justin on the back. “Congratulations! How is Grace?”

“I'm doing very well, thank you,” Grace said from the doorway. “Welcome home, Christian. You're just in time for the christening a week from Saturday.”

Chris bussed her cheek. “You look radiant, Grace. Motherhood becomes you. What did you name your son?”

“Theodore Christian. We call him Teddy.”

“When am I to meet little Lord Teddy?”

“Soon, but first we need to discuss your wife,” Justin answered. “Whatever possessed you to marry Sophia when you have refused to so much as speak her name ever since Desmond's tragic death?”

“You had best sit down for this,” Chris said. “It's a long story.”

Justin and Grace sat side by side on the sofa while Chris stood, legs braced as if he still rode the deck of a ship. “Did Sophia tell you anything about our meeting and marriage?”

“Very little,” Justin said, “except that she stowed away aboard your ship. How did that come to pass?”

“Sophia was fleeing from a dangerous situation.”

“Oh, my,” Grace whispered. “Please continue.”

“Her stepbrother had sold her virtue to a man to whom he owed a gambling debt. Sophia managed to escape her would-be ravisher and fled into the night. He called the Watch, charged her with assault and pursued her. When she found herself near Southwark quay, she sneaked aboard my ship.”

“Oh, my,” Grace repeated. “How horrible for Sophia.”

“I always knew Caldwell was a bastard,” Justin put in.

“I discovered Sophia on my ship the following day, too late to turn back,” Chris continued.

“That must have been some meeting,” Justin commented.

Chris plowed his fingers through his hair, recalling that day as if it were yesterday. “It was. I swear Sophia was put on this earth to torment me.”

“So how did you end up married?” Justin wondered.

Chris paced as he spoke, revealing most but not all of the facts leading to his marriage to Sophia.

“So you really were forced into the marriage,” Justin mused. “Sophia hinted as much, but I didn't know what to believe.”

“How chivalrous of you,” Grace said. “You married Sophia to protect her and then fell in love with her.”

Chris stopped his pacing and stared at Grace. “Why ever would you think I love Sophia?”

“It's true, isn't it? Sophia loves you, she told me as much. The problem, as she sees it, is your inability to forgive yourself for Desmond's death.”

“I'll carry that guilt to my death. Desmond's parents lost their son and heir. How can I forgive myself for that?”

“It's time to forget and forgive,” Justin advised. “You can't be happy in your marriage until you do.”

“Justin is right,” Grace said. “Don't you want a family of your own and a wife who loves you?”

“I do, but I don't know if I deserve those things.”

Grace gave an exasperated snort. “Honestly, Chris, you are the most stubborn man I've even known. Forgive yourself and get on with your life. Make up with Sophia—that's the best advice I can give you.”

Justin was of a different opinion. “Grace is right about forgiving yourself, but whether or not you and Sophia can find happiness is debatable. You've made no effort to hide your contempt for her since that tragic day. I wouldn't recommend reconciliation unless you are certain you can get past Desmond's death. Why don't you stay here tonight and call on Sophia tomorrow? Have dinner with us and get acquainted with your new nephew.”

Chris wavered, but in the end he declined the offer of dinner and a bed, although he did want to see his nephew. He followed Grace and Justin to the nursery. Grace picked up her son and presented him for Chris's inspection.

“Meet Lord Theodore Christian,” Grace said, beaming.

Chris's admiration was genuine. Tiny Teddy was a handsome lad who yawned hugely and clutched Chris's finger with surprising strength. When he began rooting around for his mother's breast, Grace laughed and shooed the men from the nursery so she could nurse her babe.

Justin gave Chris Sophia's location as he walked his brother to the door.

Chris frowned. “My bank account was at Sophia's disposal; couldn't she find lodgings in a better neighborhood?”

“Sophia said the town house she rented suited her needs. When I saw she couldn't be swayed, I let her have her way. Your wife has a mind of her own, Chris, if you haven't discovered that by now.”

“I know that better than anyone.”

Justin wished him good luck. Chris knew he was going to need it as he mounted his horse and rode away. He was well acquainted with Sophia's stubbornness. But if the last three months without his wife had proved anything, it was the startling fact that he had missed her.

Sophia had been feeling ill ever since her move to her town house. Furthermore, she knew the reason for her malaise and was thrilled. Three months had passed since she had been with Chris, but she hadn't suspected she was increasing until just recently. She had wished for a child, but the signs of impending motherhood had escaped her notice. She'd been far too involved with Grace's lying-in and finding suitable lodgings to think about her missed courses.

One thing bothered her, however. If she hadn't been ill before, why now? Was something wrong with the babe? Her appetite was off, and she wasn't sleeping well.

Sophia wandered aimlessly about her bedroom, trying to decide whether to go for a walk or lie down and sleep. She was always tired these days.

Casper had accompanied his tutor on an outing and would be gone for hours. She wasn't expecting callers, for she hadn't been formally recognized by Society and probably never would. She was seriously considering moving to the country with her babe when her sixmonth lease was up on the town house.

Listlessly she picked up a book she had purchased on her latest foray to a bookstore, but she was so sleepy the words began to run together. She put the volume down and stretched out on the bed. She was asleep in minutes.

Chris almost had to force his way into Sophia's town house. The butler, who said his name was Dunning, had refused him entrance. Dunning said his mistress was indisposed and not receiving visitors. Even after Chris had identified himself as Sophia's husband, the man remained reluctant to let him enter. His patience exhausted, Chris brushed past Dunning and took the stairs two at a time. He found Sophia's room easily enough but stopped in his tracks when he saw his wife sleeping soundly, her face pale against the dark pillow of her hair.