A Time To Love (9 page)

"You're awfully quiet," Matthew said as they drove home.

"Just enjoying the ride. You're so lucky to live here. I loved it from the minute I saw it." She watched the passing countryside, wrapped in a mantle of snow. "I don't know which I like better, summer or winter." She sighed. "And I love being with Grandmother again."

The clip-clop of the horse's hooves was hypnotic. Tired from therapy, she found her eyelids drooping.

"Jenny? Jenny, we're home."

She smiled. What a lovely word, said by the man she loved.

"Jenny? You need to wake up. I think you have company."

Groaning, unwilling to let go of the pleasant feeling of resting her head against his shoulder, she opened her eyes. What she saw had her straightening so quickly her back protested the movement.

A car bearing a New York tag was parked in front of her grandmother's house.

The driver's side door opened and David stepped out.

"Hey, stranger," he said.

Matthew watched as Jenny dropped her cane and threw her arms around the man. It seemed they held each other for a very long time.

He heard Jenny tell David how she'd missed him and felt a moment of envy. She hadn't been able to remember him when she'd come here.

"Matthew!" David held out his hand. "Good to see you. So were the two of you out for a drive?"

"He took me to a therapy appointment." Jenny shivered. "It's cold out here. Let's get inside and have some coffee."

"And maybe your grandmother baked a pie?" asked David as he reached inside his car for a package.

"Did you come to see me or to have a piece of her pie?" Jenny demanded, hands on her hips.

David grinned. "You know I love you. But that pie I had last time—"

Love. The
Englisch
toss that word around so casually,
thought Matthew.

Laughing, Jenny elbowed him and turned to Matthew."You're coming in, aren't you?"

He hesitated. Surely the two wanted to talk privately.

"Matthew?" Jenny gestured at him. "Come in and have some pie and coffee. We didn't have dessert, remember?"

He heard a buggy approach and lifted his hand in greeting as he saw Josiah passing. But Josiah was staring at David's car, then at him standing with Jenny in the doorway of Phoebe's house. Matthew watched as the older man frowned and then stared directly ahead at the road, ignoring him.

That was the second time in as many days that the man had seemed so dour, so disapproving,
thought Matthew. Not that anyone would accuse him of having a sunny personality. But it did seem that Josiah didn't like the presence of Jenny here. Josiah was one of the older, stricter Old Amish members who often complained about the influences of the outside world on their community.

Feeling a little uneasy, Matthew went inside.

"So this time we don't have to carry Ms. Lazy inside, eh?" David asked Matthew.

"Hey, Matthew carried me in last time," she told him tartly.

"She did fall asleep on the way home," Matthew acknowledged."But I think she can manage to walk this time."

Jenny glanced over her shoulder as she stood at the stove."You'd be tired if you'd had a session with the therapy tyrant, too!"

She poured coffee for the three of them and then lifted the checkered cloth from a plate on the table. "Dessert, gentlemen?"

"Looks like it has my name on it," David said with satisfaction as he took a seat. "Apple pie is my favorite. I don't suppose there's ice cream?"

Jenny drew a carton from the propane-powered refrigerator-freezer and put scoops of vanilla ice cream on each of the plates. "Of course. It's as though my grandmother knew you were coming."

She stopped and frowned at him. "She didn't, did she?"

"Nope. I was sort of in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop in." David took a bite of the pie and closed his eyes."Fabulous. Where is your grandmother, by the way?"

"Visiting friends. What does 'sort of in the neighborhood' mean, exactly?" Jenny returned the ice cream to the freezer.

Matthew stood and held out Jenny's chair. As he did, he saw that David was staring at him oddly.

"We're getting a lot of mail about you," David said, taking a sip of coffee. "People want to know how you're doing."

"That's nice." Jenny stirred her coffee.

"How
are
you doing?"

"Much better," she said slowly. "I wrote you that, remember?"

David met her eyes directly. "Yes, but I wasn't sure if you were telling the truth."

"Jenny is a truthful woman," Matthew told him staunchly.

David lifted his eyebrows and looked at him for a long moment. "Yes, well, she also has a tendency to hold things in, to not want to worry people. She kept telling me she would be okay, but when I visited the hospital the first time after she was returned to the States, I was—well, let's just say I was shocked."

Her appearance had shocked Matthew, too, when she first came here and that had been months after she'd been recovering in the hospital, he knew.

"The boss wanted me to stop by, talk with you."

"Really?" Jenny frowned. "I just wrote him that I wasn't sure when I can come back."

David waved his hand. "Not about that. He wants me to do a story on you. Update the viewers on how you're doing."

Matthew watched her hand come up to touch her cheek, watched her smile fade.

"I can't do that, David."

"Why not? You're looking better. Your speech has really improved, too."

"Would you want to go on—" Emotion made the search for the word harder. "Would you want to go on camera like this?" she asked him as her tears welled up. "
Would
you?"

"A little makeup and a hairstylist and you'd be fine. And your speech is truly better when you speak slowly and don't get upset." He pushed the package he'd brought toward her."Open it, Jenny."

Jenny did as he asked, drawing out printed e-mail messages and handwritten notes, cards, and letters. She looked at one, then another, and then her lips began trembling.

She stood and grabbed her cane. "I—excuse me." With a jerky gait, she walked out of the room.

Matthew watched her leave, then glanced at David. The man shoved his hands in his hair, disordering the careful style. He had to admit he was a little curious about David's fancy appearance.

"Well, that didn't go well." He looked at Matthew. "I didn't mean to upset her."

"May I?" Matthew asked him, gesturing at the letters.

"Sure."

Matthew read several of the messages. "People really care about her."

David nodded. "Because she cares so much about the children."He sighed. "And because of the way she was hurt. Be glad you didn't see the film of the bomb going off. I've had a few nightmares since I saw it."

"I don't need to see it to know how Jenny has been hurt." Matthew stared down into his coffee, then up at David. "It's hard to understand such hatred."

Just then, Phoebe walked in the door. She brightened when she saw them sitting at the table. "David! How nice to see you. You, too, Matthew."

She hung her outerwear on the peg, then walked to David and gave him a hug.

"Good to see you, too, ma'am. You're looking well."

"Thank you. You look well, too." She moved to pour a cup of coffee, then joined them at the table.

"We were just having a piece of your wonderful pie."

Phoebe beamed. "Next time let me know you're coming, and I'll bake you one to take home." She glanced around."Where is Jenny?"

David exchanged a look with Matthew. "I'm afraid I upset her. Our boss wants us to do an interview, let the viewers know how she's doing."

"I see." Phoebe took a sip of her coffee.

"I think she's looking great. But I guess I didn't think about how she'd feel about being on camera."

"Jenny is not a vain young woman," Phoebe said slowly."But it has been hard for her to reconcile the way she looked and talked before the accident and now."

Sighing, David nodded. "But people are worried about her. They've sent e-mails and letters."

Phoebe's expression softened. "When she thinks about it, I'm sure that Jenny will be grateful for their concern, their caring."

David looked hopeful. "You think she'll change her mind?"

"I—"

Jenny walked in just then. "
Grossmudder,
I didn't hear you come in." She bent to kiss her cheek.

Straightening, she looked at David. Matthew could tell she'd been crying, but now she looked more composed. "I'm sorry for getting upset with you. I—tell Nate I'll think about it, okay?"

"Sure. You just let me know, and we'll bring a crew here—"

"No!" she said quickly. "It wouldn't be right to bring a TV crew here into the community."

"Oh." David glanced at Phoebe. "Sorry, ma'am, didn't mean to offend."

Phoebe patted his hand. "I'm not offended."

"I'll let you know," Jenny told him.

"Great." David glanced at his watch. "Well, I should be going."

"You are not having another piece of pie?" Phoebe asked.

Hesitating, David looked toward the kitchen window."Looks like it's going to start snowing again."

"I'll wrap it up for you to have later," Phoebe said as she got up.

"One for the road. Works for me," David said with a chuckle. He stood, pulled his coat from a peg, and put it on.

Jenny got to her feet and hugged him for a long moment with her cheek against his shoulder. "I'm so glad you came."

He kissed the top of her head. "Me too," he said, and his voice shook.

Then he was hurrying out the door, holding his precious package of pie.

"I should be going, too," Matthew said.

"Thank you again for taking me to therapy. And to eat afterward."

Matthew nodded. "I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the pie, too, Phoebe."

"Do you want to take some home?" she asked him.

"No, thank you. That might not please Hannah. You know how hard she works on her baking."

Phoebe watched him fondly as he left. Then she turned to Jenny and her eyes were troubled. "Jenny, there is something we must discuss."

S
tricken, Jenny stared at her grandmother. "Oh no, shouldn't I have had Matthew and David here without you?"

Phoebe patted her hand. "That is not what I need to tell you." She frowned. "I was driving home and passed Josiah. He is an elder in the church. You may have met him on Sunday?"

Something about the name was familiar. Jenny wondered if he was the man who had frowned at her as she stood on the porch with Matthew.

"I'm not sure. There was this one man who looked disapproving as I stood talking with Matthew after the service. What is it? Does he have a problem with me being here?"

"You are my
grossdochder,"
Phoebe said firmly. "No one in this community would have a problem with me taking care of you in my home. Family is so important, second to our relationship to God."

Confused, Jenny stared at her. "Then what is it?"

"Josiah had two concerns. The first was that you are here to bring the attention of the press to the community."

"But that's the very opposite of what I'd want!" Jenny got up and walked to the window with some difficulty so soon after her therapy, returned and sat again. "I've been here for weeks. If that was what I intended—" then she stopped and stared at her grandmother. "Wait, did you say he stopped you on the road just now?"

Phoebe nodded.

"He went past the house when David was here. But how would he know David works for the media? He doesn't watch television."

"I think you were so happy to see David you didn't notice the sign on his automobile with the network's name," Phoebe told her. "But you have only to look at David to know he is an important man in the
Englisch
world."

Jenny laughed. "Oh, David would love to hear that. But don't tell him. His ego is already so big."

"It's obvious he cares very much about you."

"He treats me like a little sister. And since I don't have any brothers or sisters, I kind of like that. He and his wife, Joy, are my best friends."

Actually, almost my only friends, since I was out of the country so much,
she thought. That was one of the things she liked about being here—she'd begun to make really nice friends.

"He brought you to me so I'll always be grateful to him."Phoebe reached over to squeeze her hand.

Jenny looked at her grandmother's hand, slim and strong and work-worn. "So what should I do to allay Josiah's fear?"

"I think since he's the only one I've heard of who has such a concern that it's enough for me to tell you."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"You said Josiah has two concerns. What's the other one?"

"Josiah is concerned that Matthew is spending so much time with you. He worries that Matthew is courting you."

I wish,
Jenny thought.

"I can see that you've thought of this yourself."

She sighed. "Yes, but I know it is just a fantasy. Matthew considers me to be a friend and that's what he must be for me, too."

"Why is that?"

"He needs someone who's whole. Someone who can be his partner and help him with the farm. Who can have his—his children."

She rose to put her mug in the sink and turned to face her grandmother.

"I know that you have the
Ordnung,
that there are different rules here, that there is respect for those rules. But Matthew is a grown man. Doesn't he have the right to see who he wants as long as he doesn't violate any rules of propriety?"

"I think some of the older generation worries that we will lose young people like Matthew. His family has been here for generations, and he is well-loved. I might not agree with Josiah, but I understand his concern."

Jenny covered her hand with hers. "Oh, you're thinking of Daddy, aren't you? You can understand because it happened to you."

Phoebe raised her eyes to Jenny's and she saw the emotion in them.

Jenny bent to hug her grandmother. "I'm sorry that this has made you remember."

"I never forget." Phoebe's voice trembled. "But it was not God's will for him to live here. He wasn't happy here as he grew older. I think he needed to see more of the world, to do other things."

"I have been happy here," Jenny whispered. "Very happy."

Phoebe smiled. "I am glad, then, that you've come home to heal."

Her grandmother had said that Jenny didn't need to worry about Josiah, that he was the only one who had approached her with the concern that Jenny would draw media attention.

But it still bothered Jenny; she found herself thinking about it all the next day. If anything, she had come here to heal and had practically been a hermit while she did. She would never have accepted her grandmother's invitation if she'd thought she would cause any kind of problem for her.

Thank goodness I told David I couldn't do an interview here,
Jenny thought.

So far as Josiah's concern about Matthew . . . well, maybe she needed to think about that. This was the second time she'd begun to entertain a fantasy about having a relationship with him. Hadn't she learned anything?

Their friendship had deepened since she'd been here— there was no question about that. He understood her in a way no one else ever had at a time when she didn't fully understand herself.

She wasn't going to give up riding with him and Annie to the speech-therapy appointments. After all, no one could say a man was courting when his little daughter was along with them, could they?

And she wasn't going to give up her friendship with him.

Josiah had seen Matthew touching her face. It had been harmless by any standards in her world or Matthew's. But she'd make sure no one saw anything like that again.

Perhaps she should reconsider letting him drive her to physical therapy. Without Annie along, perhaps those who saw them could assume their relationship was more than friendship.

She had to find another ride, and she didn't want to impose on her grandmother. It was time for her to be more independent.

But she was still in too much pain and moved too awkwardly to feel safe driving a car. Even if she could, renting a car was expensive. And it was a long distance for a taxi to come to the farm.

Her grandmother had the perfect solution. "There are a number of
Englisch
who can be hired to drive you. If you're determined to do this," she added. When Jenny nodded, she got up, drew a small address book from a kitchen drawer, and gave it to her.

Jenny called the driver her grandmother had used several times and made her next physical therapy appointment. When she finished, she hung up the phone, turned, walked back into the house, and found her grandmother watching her as she stood at the sink.

"You don't have to do this," she told Jenny. "As you said, it is not the business of others."

"I don't want to make things difficult for you or for Matthew."

"You are not making things difficult for us, child." Phoebe patted her hand. "Don't worry, Jenny. Worry about tomorrow steals the joy from today."

Jenny sighed and nodded. "I know."

She'd already made plans to have dinner with Matthew and his family that evening, so she went. Whether she'd tell him about Josiah would depend on opportunity and need. It wasn't a topic she intended to discuss in front of the children.

Her grandmother gave her a ride, since she was to pick Hannah up so they could visit at a friend.

When they pulled up, the children were outside, playing in newly fallen snow.

"It is good to see them like this," Phoebe said to Jenny as they watched. "There was so much sadness here after Amelia died."

Jenny knew, too, that the children led more serious lives than
Englisch
children; there were chores before and after school, and those and homework were never brushed aside in favor of playing on a computer or talking on a phone.

Joshua and Mary were tossing snowballs at each other. Mary had the better aim, and Joshua was running for cover.

Annie was lying in the snow, moving her arms and legs.

"That one is a little angel, is she not?"

The child popped up just then and ran over. "Come see my snow angewl?"

Jenny greeted Hannah as they traded places and exchanged a hug. Phoebe and Hannah waved as the buggy started down the road.

Annie took Jenny's hand and led her over to the snow.

"Very pretty," she told Annie.

"You make one."

Jenny laughed. "I haven't done that in years."

Standing there, she remembered what her grandmother had said about not letting worry about tomorrow steal the joy from today. It was such a beautiful day, clear and crisp and cold. There was a patch of undisturbed snow right beside Annie's snow angel.

Annie looked up at her with big, bright-blue eyes. "You make one," she repeated.

And so, Jenny found herself throwing down the hated cane, lying down in the snow, and moving her arms and legs.

Annie and Jenny giggled together. It
feels so free, so fun, to be like a child,
thought Jenny.

A shadow fell over her, and she looked up to see Matthew smiling.

"Well, well, what is this?"

"Jenny's making a snow angewl,
Daedi."

"And a very beautiful one, indeed."

"You haven't seen it yet," Jenny pointed out, feeling her cheeks warm.

"Yes, I have."

Was she blushing? She never blushed. But his eyes were so warm on her.

He held out his hand and helped Jenny to her feet. Then he brushed the snow from her hair.

"Cold?"

She shook her head. No, she didn't feel cold at all anymore, warmed by what she saw in his eyes.

Annie tugged on her coat, and Jenny looked down to see that she held her cane.

"Thank you."

A snowball hit Matthew from behind. Joshua was running away. Since Mary was nowhere in sight, it was obvious who the culprit was.

Matthew scooped up a handful of snow, quickly packed it into ball, and hit him in the legs as he ran.

Joshua collapsed into the snow and lay still.

"Joshua?"

Matthew ran to his son and knelt by his side. Joshua's hand came up with a mound of snow, and he laughed as he scrubbed it over his father's face.

"Why you—" Matthew grabbed him up, turned him upside down, and carried him back to where Jenny and Annie stood.

"Hey, I—" Joshua spluttered as his father casually dragged him through a drift and he got a face full of snow. "I—" he gulped as he hit another drift.

"
Daedi!"
Annie giggled. "You awe howding Joshua upswide down and his face—his face!"

"Something wrong with his face?"

"He's getting awfully red in the face," Jenny said sternly. But she had to cover her mouth to keep the giggles from escaping.

Matthew turned him right-side-up. "Oh, sorry, Joshua. I didn't realize." But his grin said otherwise.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jenny saw something move.
Splat!
A snowball hit Matthew in the back of the head. He dropped Joshua lightly into a pile of snow and growling, went after Mary.

Joshua sprang up and ran after his father, pelting him with snowballs. Annie joined in the chase, but with every step, she kept sinking in the snow. Matthew tripped—or pretended to trip—and fell. The children tackled him, Joshua first, then Mary, and then Annie.

"Let me up!" Matthew cried out. "You're crushing me!"

But the children just giggled and held on.

"Jenny! Save me!"

"I'll be right there!" she called. Whistling, she tucked her scarf around her neck and adjusted her hat.

"Jenny!"

"Coming!"

Matthew got to his feet like a big lumbering bear covered with snow. Annie wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on. Looping Joshua under one arm and Mary under the other, he staggered toward Jenny who stood laughing near the road.

"You didn't help."

"You look like the abominable snowman!" she gasped. Her sides hurt from laughing so much.

Throwing back his head, he roared and shook himself. "I am eating all of you for dinner!"

Mary shrieked. "Let go of me! I need to check dinner in the oven."

Matthew considered that. "Well, maybe I won't eat the skinny one."

He set her on her feet, and she scampered into the house, laughing.

"If you eat me there will be no one to help you with the farm work," Joshua told him.

"Well, there is that." Matthew dropped him into the snow.

Laughing, Joshua got up, shook himself like a dog, and ran into the house.

Matthew turned his head to look at Annie who was still hanging on around his neck. "Then I must have you for my dinner," he said, and he growled again and nipped at her hand. "Mmm, very sweet. Like one of your
Aenti
Hannah's doughnuts."

"Jenny, save me!" Annie cried, giggling.

"Even monsters must eat their dinner before they have dessert," Jenny said sternly. "Mr. Abominable, behave yourself."

"But I want to eat dessert now!"

Jenny shook her finger at him. "You must obey the rules!"

He set Annie down but shook the snow from his hair and his coat onto her. "Run inside and get ready for dinner." He put his hands on his hips and growled down at her. "I cannot wait for dessert!"