A Toast to Starry Nights (28 page)

“When I was younger, I resented the fate
arranged for me. Felt I could have done something other than tend to people. I
could swing a sword or wield an ax. Marry and beget another generation. But as
the youngest son, I was told my path lay before me already, whether I wanted to
walk it or not. There was no other choice for me and how I despised it. Yet I
did as I was bid and found gratification in bringing peace to those who need
it. The thing I wished to escape from was the very thing that I found joy.

“When your parents died, your nurse
brought the three of you here before the English discovered you were
unprotected. Had they gotten you, you would have been shipped off to England as
hostages at best, to be wed to a lordling who would be granted your lands. Your
sons would be Englishman, who would in turn bear more English to fill Ireland.
At worst, I cannot even fathom.”

The Bishop of Ferns sighed deeply and
continued. “When Mara's husband was slain while she escaped from Maidenglow's
Winter Tower... she too fled here. The four of you lasses were the daughters I
never had, and I thank God that you sweetings found a safe nest to weather the
English storm. We live in perilous times, dear girl, and never did I think to
rain down such terror upon you all. My duty has put you all in danger. I pray
to Lord Jesu, Blessed Mother Mary and to God, Himself to save us all from the
wickedness of intolerance.”

Uncle Sean's thin face seemed to be
graven in rock. He heaved a sigh deeper than all the seas. “The Demon Lord of
Eskerfell rides this way. Tomorrow is a Raiding Moon. They will use it to ride
day and night for us. They will rest in Wicklow, stock supplies and head for
us, raiding and burning every croft they pass. We must be gone when they
arrive. The tales I have heard... I wish no such fate on any of you dear girls.
Tonight we pack, and we pack light. Two changes of clothing and only small
trinkets. We ride on horseback, no wagons. We must be swift.”

“Do you think we can outrun them to
Wexford?” The trembling in my voice betrayed my worry.

Uncle nodded. “Most likely, but there
cannot be any delays. Delays will be the death of us all. I mean not to
frighten you, girl. But this night you go from maiden to matron. Best you see
your future with a woman's eyes.”

“I thank you for your trust in me,
Uncle.” A deep sigh heaved from my lungs. How quickly life can change. A leaf
upon the river rapids... that is how I felt. I go where the current of life
carries me. “I must say my confession before I marry this night.” I knelt upon
the hard stone and began my recitation. There was little to confess and telling
Uncle of my lust for Padraic seemed a moot point as we were entering the state
of matrimony on this evening.

Uncle issued me a small penance for my
impatient and sharp tongue. He arose from the pew and walked towards the door.
“I will leave you with your thoughts while I seek the others, my dear. We have
no time to lose.”

The sound of leather soles slapping
against flagstone faded as Uncle left me sitting alone upon the worn pew. How
many times had this seat seen trouble and strife? Held the heavy thoughts
burdening the parishioner?

My mind flew with all that I knew. For a
night I would be Padraic's, only to part at dawn for our separate fates.
Hopefully the English wouldn't sink his ship, nor would they interfere with our
escape to France. Most important were that my sisters would be protected. Ice
tore through my limbs at the thought of an English encounter. Getting what I
wanted seemed less important then I imagined. To be married to Padraic, only to
part so soon, never to know if we would see each other again. It saddened me on
what should have been the happiest day of my life.

A hand touched my shoulder whilst I was
lost in reverie. I looked up to see Padraic's concerned gaze pass in a blink as
a smile appeared. “Having second thoughts?”

“Nay. Merely thinking about an old Pagan
goddess who protected a sacred well.”

Curiosity creased his brow as he asked,
“Going to tell me a tale, Ona?”

“Only if you wish to hear it.”

“Tell me.” Padraic sat beside me upon
the pew and reached for my hand. His large fingers entwined with mine, then
brought my hand to his lips to kiss.

“The goddess would grant wishes to any
who sought her gifts. But they always came at a cost. She accepted gold and
silver, but she preferred lessons as tender. But so coveted was her magic, that
many came from far and wide to seek her wisdom.

“One day a braw lad and his lass came
across the well, and spying it, wished to see the goddess. They had but one
coin between them which they each kissed before tossing it into the pit. They
heard a splash of water and then an old woman appeared shrouded in mist before
them. The woman was all gray but for her eyes. They were the deep blue of the
ocean on a sunlit day and the only color the woman had to her. Before the lass
could form a thought, the lad said to the crone, 'Your eyes are the most
beautiful I have seen! I would wish my beloved had eyes like yours so I may
look upon the beauty always.' Before a moment had passed, the goddess plucked
out both her own eyes and placed them in the lass's hands, much to the girl's
horror.

The lad asked, 'Why did you do that?' To
which the goddess replied, 'To teach you to be more careful what you wish for.
Your beloved has eyes like mine now. Will they do her any good? What has your
selfish gift gotten you? Your silver could have bought food for a month, yet
you spent it for naught.' The lass spoke up and told the goddess that it was
her wish to give the eyes back, for she could not replace what her mother given
her at birth. The goddess smiled and let them go with their lives, for she
could have taken them in exchange for the lad's impertinence.”

“Who told you such a tale?” Padraic
asked with half a smile upon his face.

“My mother. She told me I should always
be careful for what I wish for. She was right.”

“Explain.” His curt tone surprised me.

“ You know how long I've wanted this? To
be wed to you? And now it is happening. And then what? We part ways as if we
were never married to seek separate fates. I wish you would come with us to
France. But I know you will not. Your sense of duty is one of those things I
love about you, Padraic, even though it hurts. Your duty is to see me safe...
just not by your side.”

Padraic began to speak, and I placed my
hand over his mouth to stem his words.

“Make no apologies, Padraic. I have no
regrets about wedding you. My only wish is that it would be longer than a
single night. That is the part that upsets me, and the part we have no control
over.”

Padraic removed my hand from his mouth.
“If I had thought your Uncle would have approved my suit without me enlisting
with the Spanish, I would have approached him sooner, Ona. For that I
apologize, that I never asked him long ago. Do not be so glum for nothing is
writ in stone that water and time cannot erase. Do not assume we will never see
each other again. I have hope, and so should you. Through time itself, if need
be. I will not let you go.”

The chatter of my sisters and Mara broke
through the moment of silence after Padraic spoke. He lifted my chin with a
finger to look into my eyes. “Smile, lovie. You think too much about things
that cannot change. Today is a good day for us both. Let us enjoy it and worry
about the morrow, tomorrow, shall we?”

I gave him a wee smile. The Sword of
Unknown hung over my head, and no matter how hard I try, not knowing what the
dawn would bring sat heavily upon my soul.

Padraic smiled more at the ghost on my
lips, and turned to address Uncle, who stood next to the alter straightening
his vestments. The cook's son served as Alter Boy and lit the candles. My uncle
spoke before Padraic could move his lips.

“Come now, my children.”

My heart beat fast as war drums. It felt
as thought it would soon break through my chest. My mind, fuzzy with all that
the day had wrought, cleared for a brief moment as it all sank in. This is the
moment I wanted for so long and now the moment I dread. The beginning of my
marriage to Padraic, which would end at the dawn. Somewhere deep in my heart I
knew my marriage would not last as long as it should. Perhaps the fates would
be kind, perhaps Padraic is right and we will be reunited after I reach France.
That thought burned like a bonfire in the darkness of my heart.

The sound of Uncle's softly spoken Latin
brought my attention back to the now. Somehow I managed to say my vows with a
smile on my face to be rewarded with a warm gleam from Padraic's eyes.
Impossibly fast, Uncle asked us to kneel for his blessing. I closed my eyes and
let the Bishop's words coat my being.

Uncle Sean asked us to arise. Upon
standing, Bride launched herself at Padraic and I. “Finally, I have a brother!”

* * * *

After a quiet dinner in the hall, Uncle
Sean excused Padraic and I from the board. “Enjoy what time you have, for all
we know ends in the morning.” My sisters were too busy with their baked apples
in cream to glance our way. Mara smiled like a pleased cat and winked at me.

As soon as we left the hall, Padraic
scooped me up in his arms and walked to his chamber. Once we were inside, he set
me down to bolt the door and undress. “I cannot wait.”

Nor could I. My hands unlaced my gown so
it could slide off my shoulders to pool at my ankles. I stood in my shift and
naught else. I closed my eyes and untied the neckline so it too, slid off my body
in a hiss of fabric.

I felt the touch of Padraic's hands
against my shoulders as he stood behind me. He swept hair from my neck to rain
kisses from behind my ear to my shoulder. The heat of his lips incited a quiver
which shook me from head to toe. One of his hands slid down to cup my breast.
Stoked by his touch, my nipple puckered and ached in a way I never experienced
before. All I knew was that I wanted more. Need it like water to quench my
thirst and air to fill my lungs. His touch made me feel gloriously alive.

Stepped out of my dress and kicked it to
the side so it wouldn't be underfoot. I turned around to face my beloved and
raised my lips to his. I wanted to feel him touching me all over. I pressed my
body against his, feeling the heat and the hair radiating from him.

Without breaking our kiss, Padraic
lifted me up so I straddled his waist. I wrapped my legs around his middle and
my arms around his neck. I could feel him walking, then before I realized it, I
lay on the bed with he atop me. His lips moved from my mouth to my breast.

I burned beneath Padraic's gaze. With
one hand occupied caressing a breast, his other hand moved to capture the other
and tease my nipple into standing hard before his mouth took over. The way he
suckled made me writhe with pleasure I never knew existed. The apex of my
thighs tingled and I moved against Padraic's body. He has what I want. What I
need. I craved more.

My hand moved down his chest and
stomach, to the hardened part of him jutting toward my attention. Padraic
inhaled sharply when I wrapped my hands around his shaft and tried to lead him
to my core.

“Not yet, Ona. You'll get hurt.”

“I know of the pain, and I want it. To
me, it means you are finally inside where I want you most. Where you want
most.” Padraic didn't argue when I held him and rubbed his tip against my slit.
I was slick like honey and although it seemed impossible, Padraic got harder
and twitched in my hand. With my chin raised, I offered my lips to my husband
while I slipped the tip of him barely inside me.

“You may welcome the pain, but I do not.
I would make this as sweet as possible for you, Ona.” Padraic withdrew and I
felt so cold as he maneuvered himself down my torso, kissing a trail from my
neck to my navel. Then lower he sank, trailing his tongue to my center.

Padraic gently spread me and licked my
nethers. I didn't know one could do that! It both shocked and delighted me as
his tongue worked magic that had me bucking my hips against his face. Then I
felt a new sensation as my husband used a finger to taunt my body to the point
where I thought I'd break, like a harp sting pulled too tight. I raised my hips
to try and work his teasing finger inside where I wanted him.

I could feel how slippery I was as that
finger glided into into me then just as swiftly moved out. Then again, but
deeper. And deeper. “Please Padraic... no more teasing. I can't take it.”

“You'll take it Ona. You'll like it
too.”

“I like this but I want to
love
it,
Padraic.” Spoken low, I writhed hard against his hand.

He laughed at my audacity. “Very well.
I'll give you something to love.” Padraic knelt back on his knees and reached
for my hips to pull me toward him. I closed my eyes as he began rubbing his
hardness where his mouth and fingertip had just been. A moan escaped my lips at
the wonderful feeling. Moved my hips, hoping he would slide inside where his
fingers just explored. It was a success! His tip fit inside my cleft and I
wiggled my rump to get him in further.

Just that bit felt delicious, and the
feeling grew when he moved his hips to pillage my depths. Slowly at first, then
with urgency. A sharp pain, but I didn't mind. The overwhelming sensation of
Padraic's lips against mine and his hard shaft moving inside me caused my back
to arch off the bed as wave after wave of delight infused me from head to toe.