“
They
are responsible for what they are.
They
made the choices that led to their fall.” He studied her with those fathomless eyes. “Yes, I administered the punishment. I stripped the Watchers of their wings. Wings and souls are connected, and the loss of their souls led to their blood drinking. But I’m not accountable for their mistakes, any more than a police officer is responsible for the crimes committed by offenders.”
“A better analogy would be a penal system that releases criminals who are more dangerous after incarceration than they were before it.” Lindsay ruffled her curls in frustration. “Why do they have to drink blood? You don’t, and they were once angels like you.”
“They’re still physiologically seraphim. Severing their wings didn’t make them mortal. They can’t ingest the food you eat. We look similar to mortals on the outside, but we are not the same. We aren’t built the same. Your bodies create energy through physical chemical processes; we aren’t designed that way.”
She nodded slowly. The wings—and the way they appeared and disappeared—were more than enough proof of how different they were. “And what do the lycans do? How do you use them?”
“They scent vampires in hiding, raid nests, and herd vamps into sparsely populated areas where they’ll cause the least amount of damage to mortals.”
“You said there are a hundred sixty-two Sentinels now. The rest . . . died?”
His chest lifted and fell with a deep breath. “They were casualties, yes.”
“How many lycans are there?”
“Several thousand from an original twenty-five, because they can breed.”
“And how many vampire casualties have there been?”
“Hundreds of thousands. But they’re still ahead, because they can spread vampirism to mortals much faster than the lycans can reproduce.”
“While you’ve been stuck with a static number, minus the ones you lose along the way?” Lindsay exhaled in a rush, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task Adrian faced. “Why can the fallen angel-vampires spread their sickness? I don’t understand why that’s okay.”
“I don’t have an answer for that. If I was to hazard a guess, I would say it has something to do with freedom of choice. The choice of the Fallen to refrain from sharing their punishment, just as they should have refrained from sharing their knowledge. And the choice of the mortals who are Changed into vampires.”
“You’re assuming the mortals have a choice.”
“There are those who seek the Change. Most especially ones who are ill or crippled in some way. Ones who want to live, no matter the cost.”
She shuddered. “Who wants to live like that? I’d rather be dead.”
Adrian took a step closer. Then another. “The better question is, who wants to die like that? Most mortals don’t survive the Change. Of those who do, many become feral and have to be put down. The Fallen don’t have souls. When they spread their affliction to mortals, who do have souls, the Change causes irreversible damage. Some minions can survive without a soul, but most lose their empathy and then their minds.”
“You call them minions?” Her nose wrinkled. “Even the term is disgusting.”
A breeze ruffled his hair, luring a thick black lock to hang over his brow. The slight blurring of his sharp perfection made him look younger than the early-thirties range she’d originally pegged him for.
Lindsay now knew what an illusion that was. His eyes, so brilliantly hued, were ancient. The length of time he was discussing so casually was unfathomable to her. Ages. Eons. Trying to imagine the history he’d seen was almost frightening.
“You’re here,” she said carefully, hooking her thumbs in the waistband of her pants, “to punish angels who taught mortals things they shouldn’t know yet . . . but you’re going to teach me things I wouldn’t know otherwise. Do the rules that applied to the Watchers not apply to you?”
“I’m going to teach you how to better defend yourself, but within the limitations of your mortal body. Basically, nothing you couldn’t learn elsewhere from mortal masters of self-defense.”
“Good.” She released the breath she hadn’t known she was holding. “Now that I know the basics, I want to go with you when you leave.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what I’m dealing with. Until I do, it’s too hazardous.”
“There’s someplace safer than by your side?” she challenged.
“By my side is the most dangerous place for you to be.”
The temptation he presented proved that, but . . . “I’ll take my chances. Besides, I’m already packed.”
When his face took on an arrogant look of command, Lindsay held up a hand. “Think carefully,” she warned, “before you answer.”
Adrian paused. The stillness that settled over him was absolute.
She’d known within moments of meeting him that he was used to giving orders and having them obeyed without question. He was going to have to get over that with her.
“Your way or the highway?” he asked with dangerous softness.
Lindsay lowered her hand. “I do what I do—I kill heinous things—to avenge
someone
. I do it for the victims, because they couldn’t do it for themselves. If I can help someone who has a name and a face, friends, a life I’ve seen . . . Do you understand? You said you would give me a focus, and that’s the kind of focus I want. I want to help you find whoever killed your friend.”
“I’m not hunting today.”
“Bullshit. You’re going after information. You want to see if you can pick up anything around the scene where your friend was killed. And if you find something, you’re not just going to call it a day and come home. I don’t need to be trained to be helpful. I’m lethal already.”
“With the element of surprise,” he qualified. “In hand-to-hand combat you’d be dead before you could blink. And when word gets out about you, you’ll be hunted. You’re not ready for that yet.”
“No one can be totally ready for that. And when my time comes, it comes. Everything happens for a reason.”
“Now
I’m
calling bullshit.”
“You have to take me with you,” she said in a voice that brooked no argument. Then she gave him “the look,” the one she’d given him in the airport to snare his interest. She wasn’t above using her feminine wiles to get her way.
He smiled. A
full
, seductive smile that rocked her back on her heels. “You can’t manage me, Lindsay. I’m more than happy to be the recipient of your persuasive skills, but not if you’ll be pissed off when it doesn’t get you what you want.”
That smile was kicking her ass. Crackling electricity raced across her skin, making the hair on her nape stand on end. “Adrian—”
“No.” The curve of his mouth straightened abruptly. “I won’t make a tactical error because of my craving for you. My mission—and, most of all,
you
—are too important to risk.”
The tightness that constricted her chest was fueled by respect. She had a sudden crazed desire to crawl all over him naked. “I have responsibilities, too, Adrian. I know those things are out there. I wish I didn’t. I wish I couldn’t feel them coming. But I can, and there’s an accountability that comes with that curse. But that’s all about what’s in it for me. For you, I can be useful and I can watch your back.”
“I’m a Sentinel. I can take care of myself.” As firm as his voice was, it was softened by the warmth in his extraordinary eyes.
“I won’t stay here if you won’t let me come. Childish, I know, but it’s all I’ve got as leverage.”
“You’re blackmailing an angel.”
She shrugged. “So sue me.”
His wings materialized, flexing along with his jaw. “I can detain you.”
“And then my father will create a big stink about me falling off the face of the earth and you’ll have even more trouble on your hands. Hey—don’t get your wings in a twist. It was partly your idea to keep him in the loop. Besides, I know you want to catch the ones responsible, and every day that passes, the trail grows colder. I don’t know if you have the same sixth sense I’ve got or not, but if not, we both know I can find them real quick. And they won’t see me coming. I’m just an average, everyday artery to them.”
“Blackmail works both ways, Lindsay. I want something in return.”
“Oh?” She was instantly on alert. The glimmer in his eyes was too . . . triumphant, almost as if she’d played right into his hands.
“Your reason for hunting—the
someone
you’re avenging—I want to know who it is.”
“I was talking about a generalized ‘someone,’ ” she prevaricated.
Adrian studied her for a long moment, then said, “Very well. I’ll take something else, then.”
“What?”
“This—”
He was kissing her before she could blink, having moved so fast it felt like she’d missed entire frames in a film reel.
She was shocked into stillness. He sealed his mouth over hers, his firm, sensual lips pressing softly. The gentleness was unexpected, considering the tightness with which he cupped her face in his hands. His tongue slid along her bottom lip, then slipped inside. The silken caress in her mouth made her shiver, then moan. Adrian kissed with the leisure of a man who took his time making love, which was a luxury she’d never had time for. Sex was for scratching an itch and for feeling human for a few stolen moments. It had never been this slow, deep melding. And this was only a kiss. What the hell would he be like in bed?
Her toes curled. Her hands caught his waistband, hanging on for the ride. Behind her closed eyelids she absorbed the taste and scent of him, the feel of him so close. She felt as if he’d found a way inside her. She was aware of nothing else. Just the feeling of him sifting through her like curling smoke . . .
Lindsay wrenched away with a curse. “Were you just
inside my head
?”
“I needed to know if your past was a liability.” Adrian licked his lips as if savoring the flavor of her.
The primitive gesture did crazy things to her insides, but she was too furious to be swayed by it. “So you violated my privacy by digging in my brain to find the personal things I didn’t want to talk about?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck you.” Lindsay would’ve loved to walk away in a huff, but she was stuck by their location. She wondered if he’d planned that all along.
“I know who you want,” he said, “and I assure you, you’re going to need my help to snare her. You’re definitely going to need my help getting her to identify her accomplices.”
She stared at him, wondering how it was possible to feel violated and hopeful at the same time. He’d seen the attack in her mind, seen that Amazon-sized bitch with the flame red hair and skintight black leather outfit. “You didn’t recognize the two guys with her?”
“There are thousands of vamp males with spiky, crayon-hued hair like that. Even body size and ethnic features aren’t much help when the memory is as fractured by terror and grief as yours is.” His wings flapped restlessly, as if her remembered pain affected him. “At some point during the attack, you stopped seeing and started focusing on feeling. That’s what resonates most in you—how it felt to watch your mother bled dry, how it felt waiting for your turn.”
Which never came. There hadn’t been a scratch on her when she broke away screaming for help. The damage they’d inflicted had been entirely mental and emotional. Watching her mother being drained of life. Hearing the lurid taunts. Feeling the pressure of claws against her flesh as she was being held down . . .
“But you know the woman?” she pressed, needing a clue. Anything at all that could help her find the vampires responsible for the event that had forever changed her life.
“Oh yes. Vashti is unmistakable. She’s second-in-command of the vampires.”
“Second-in-command . . . Vampires like that are running the show? And that’s not enough to wipe them all out?”
“It’s enough to wipe
her
out, and her accomplices.” Adrian’s mouth thinned into a grim line. “You and your mother were ambushed in broad daylight. The Fallen are the only vampires who aren’t photosensitive. They can bestow temporary immunity to minions by sharing their blood, but either way, one—or more—of the Fallen is ultimately responsible for the attack. Considering that, it’s a wonder you survived. They should have killed you, too, to protect their identity.”
“I wasn’t enough of a threat, I guess. Stupid move on their part.” She blew out her breath in a rush. As pissed off as she was at Adrian for picking her brain without her permission, she also wanted to kiss him senseless. He was now the key to unlocking the mystery of that day. She now had the “who”; she just needed the “why.” Then she could kill the fuckers and close that chapter of her life. “So, now that we’ve gotten the extortion portion of this discussion out of the way, I’ll be going with you.”
“You will follow orders implicitly.”
“Yes. I promise.” Lindsay made a gesture of an X over her chest. “Cross my heart.”
Adrian beckoned her with a crook of his finger. “We need to head back.”