A Tragic Wreck (40 page)

Alexander leaned in to Nathan. “You know they’re after her again! You know that, right?! They found out that Dad was protecting her all those years. They must have tortured him to death. You should have seen his fucking body. But he refused to give out her location so they killed him.”

His voice softened as he thought about Olivia and the difficult life she’d led. “She’s lived most of her life jumping from one city to another and that’s probably the only thing that’s kept her alive since Dad died. But now,
Jack
,” he hissed. “Now that she’s back, someone figured it out. It didn’t take
me
long.
They want her and I don’t think they’ll stop until they have her.” Alexander felt guilty speaking to Olivia’s father that way, but he couldn’t help himself. He was having trouble understanding why his father and the man standing next to him did what they did. And he didn’t know if he could ever forgive either of them for ruining a young girl’s life under the guise of protection. But wasn’t he doing the same thing? Wasn’t keeping the truth from her for all those months just as bad?

“I know, Alex,” Jack said, bringing Alexander back from his thoughts. “I understand all of that.”

“I don’t think you do! This is your fucking daughter we’re talking about here. You need to come clean. Find that box and turn it over. Save her life!”

Nathan exhaled loudly. “It’s not that simple. Jacob Kiddish never left any loose ends, and I’m sure he’s taught his son that same lesson. Olivia and me, well…we’re both loose ends.”

“We can protect you both,” he said quietly, his mind racing from what Olivia’s father was saying. “My firm…”

“Alex, it won’t ever end. Not until the people responsible are behind bars. Until then, my life,
her
life, will always be in danger.” Nathan looked up the street. “I know you love her. You always have. Please. Protect her. Save her from all this. She can’t know about her past or that I’m alive. She can’t know anything about what these people are after. If she knows, she may remember something, and if she remembers and gives these people what they want, she’s as good as dead.” Nathan opened the door to his car. “She may be as good as dead anyway, but at least this way there’s still a chance.” He closed the door and sped off, leaving Alexander standing in the street.

I
T
WAS
THE
SAME
dream. The crash. The boy with the green eyes pulling Olivia out of the car. The boy getting hit over the head. Olivia’s father shooting the man, then darkness. She heard the voices again. Her uncle and her father arguing. Then nothing. Then brightness. People shining lights in her eyes.

“Hi, princess. It’s me.” She looked to the source of the voice, desperately trying to recognize it, but she couldn’t place it. She didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know who he was. What was going on?

“Where am I?” Olivia squeaked out.

“Oh, dear. You were in a car accident.” The man rushed to her side.

“Where’s Mommy and Daddy?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She looked at the man. He started crying, tears streaming down his face. “I didn’t get there soon enough.”

“Are they okay? Or did they go to heaven?”

“They’re in heaven, angel.”

Olivia’s lip trembled. She knew that if they were in heaven, she wouldn’t be able to see them for a long time.

“Do you remember anything, princess?”

“I don’t.”

“What’s your name?”

“I can’t remember. I think it started with…I can’t remember,” she said, crying.

“Where do you live?”

Olivia started to get nervous. She couldn’t remember. “I don’t know,” she sobbed.

“It’s okay, dear. Your name is Sarah Olivia Adler. You’re six years old. You live in Charleston, South Carolina, and nothing bad will ever happen to you again.”

“How do you know? Who are you?”

“I’m your Uncle Charles. And I’m going to protect you, always.”

Olivia shot up, breathing heavy, clutching her chest. She scanned her room, looking for some sort of comfort. And then she remembered. Her one source of comfort was gone. She ran out on him after he declared his love for her.

Falling back on her bed, she brought a pillow to her chest. “It’s for the best, right, Nepenthe?” she said to the cat. “I know I love him, but I shouldn’t. And he shouldn’t love me, either.” Nepenthe jumped off the bed, giving Olivia an irritated look. “Oh, don’t you start with me, too. Traitor.” She turned over, her mind racing.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, Livvy, are you ready?” Mo asked toward the end of their second set that Friday night.

Olivia scanned the audience, her gaze meeting those green eyes she saw in her dreams. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” She knew Alexander wouldn’t stay away from MacFadden’s.

“Are you sure, Olivia? I mean, really sure?”

She turned to look at Mo. She hesitated for a second, and he looked at her with a hopeful expression on his face. She recalled the doctor recommending that she express her feelings to Alexander. Olivia was taking her advice and using the best form of expression she knew…music.

“Yes,” she hissed, glaring at him.

Mo’s face dropped before walking back to the microphone to introduce their next number. “Alright, guys. We’ve got another new song for you. Miss Olivia Adler, ladies and gentlemen!”

The crowd cheered as Olivia looked out over the audience. Kiera stood down front and off to the side next to Alexander.
Co-conspirators
, she thought to herself.
Fuck ‘em all
. She smiled a little when she saw Melanie and Tyler standing together, his arm draped around her. But then she realized that she wasn’t supposed to be happy. She was supposed to be angry. At what, she couldn’t remember anymore. Angry that Alexander said he loved her? But that didn’t make any sense. None of it did.

“Thanks everyone. This is by a new band that I discovered a few months back called Delta Rae. You should all really check out their new album. It’s fantastic. Anyway, this is
If I Loved You
.” Olivia looked down at Alexander, his eyes hopeful.

Mo started strumming his guitar. Olivia grabbed the microphone out of the stand and stood center stage, staring into Alexander’s eyes.

He returned her gaze, searching those brown eyes that he had loved his entire life. Her voice was soft and smooth. He listened to the lyrics as she sang about how perfect her life would be if she loved him.

Then the drums kicked in and Olivia began to belt the first chorus, walking over and standing directly in front of Alexander, their eyes never breaking. The words pained Olivia to say, but she had to tell him that she didn’t love him. She couldn’t. Love was too painful. She needed to protect herself so she had to push him away. Again.

Alexander’s heart sank.
This song? Why this song? It couldn’t be true.
He saw the love in her eyes. She was just scared. It was entirely reasonable to be frightened. She’d loved and lost so early in life.

Olivia sang the second verse, her voice back to being soft and sweet, thinking about all the nights Alexander held her and soothed her tears when she woke up screaming. She felt the love in those moments. Even in that first week together, it was as clear as day. He had loved her since the very beginning.

As she continued singing, trying to convince herself that she didn’t love him, the pain she was in from pulling away from Alexander was etched on her face.

Alexander was certain that she was singing that song to protect herself. It was all she knew. She was scared, but she just didn’t realize how perfect her love, whatever form it came in, was for him.

Olivia’s gaze intensified as she sang the bridge. Her chin quivered, thinking about whether Alexander really was the one for her. Was she making a mistake pushing him away again? She remembered the heartache she felt all those months when he was gone. It was an unbearable pain, and it had retuned over the past few days.

She sang the last verse softly, tears starting to flow down her cheeks. Gazing into Alexander’s green eyes, she saw the hurt spreading across his face. As her voice carried through the bar, she realized the words she sang weren’t true, no matter how much she wanted them to be. She
did
love him. She knew she did. He made her happy, and she was an idiot for wanting to push him away. Again. Why did she overreact when he told her he loved her? He had sworn time and time again that he would never leave her, and that’s what scared her. She wasn’t scared to love him. She was scared to love and
lose
him. Olivia didn’t want to lose Alexander again. She loved him more than she had loved anything or anyone.

Her lip trembled and she began sobbing. The room grew silent as she finished the last verse, the band patiently waiting for her vocal cue to start the final chorus.

It never came.

Olivia stormed off the stage, crying uncontrollably as she tore down the stairs. She could hear the audience cheering, not knowing that they hadn’t finished the full song. Pushing people out of the way, she made a bee-line outside for some fresh air.

Alexander stood in shock as he watched Olivia storm out of the bar. He turned to Kiera. “What just happened?”

“Looks like she couldn’t finish the song, Alex. Go get her.” She winked.

He quickly turned and ran through the crowded bar, taking the steps two at a time. He saw Olivia run through the front doors and out onto the Boston streets.

“OLIVIA! WAIT!!” Alexander shouted after her as she stomped down the street. The air was cold, chilling her to the bone.

She stopped on the sidewalk at the sound of his voice, refusing to turn around. “Please, love. Please,” he begged.

“What, Alex? What do you want?” Olivia asked, choking the words out through her tears. She crossed her arms over her stomach, trying to keep herself warm. She felt Alexander approach behind her, the familiar electricity present.

“What do I want?!” He grabbed her shoulders, turning her around to face him. “Haven’t I made myself perfectly clear over the past several months?!” He ran his fingers through his hair.

Olivia stared at him, tears streaming down her face as she leaned against the brick building.

He slowly walked up to her and placed his hands on either side of her head, leaning over her. “You, Olivia! I want you!” he exclaimed passionately. “I want you every second of every day. I want the good. I want the bad. I want the sweet. I want the ill-tempered. I want the hot. I want the cold. I want the crazy, irrational, exasperating pain-in-the-ass girl that I love with my entire fucking heart.”
He took a deep breath before lowering his voice, the look on his face sincere.
“I want the sexy, beautiful woman that makes me whole, Olivia. And I am not going to stop until you admit that you love me. I know you do so stop running from it. You’ve been running from love all your life. It’s standing right here in front of you, embracing you. What are you so scared of?” He stared into her eyes as they searched his, looking for an answer. “What are you scared of, love?” he whispered in her ear.

“What do you want me to say, Alex?” she asked quietly.

“I just want you to tell me how you feel, Olivia. The truth.”

Several intense seconds passed as Alexander stared down at her, bracing for her answer. Her eyes traced over his face. His green eyes were so full of sadness. She could see the hurt all over his body. He looked good, but there was something missing from his usual spark.

“Okay!” Olivia shouted. “I love you, Alexander! Okay?! Is that what you want to hear?! You want to hear how I want to get married and have beautiful babies?! Because I do! I love you so fucking much that it hurts!” Tears continued to fall down Olivia’s face as Alexander pulled her close, stroking her hair and kissing her head, trying to calm her down.

“I’ve loved you since I saw you running that day back in August at Boston Common. And then I started to love you even more when you came and adopted Runner. I loved you so much that I ran from you. I fell in love with you even more when you came after me and found me, begging me to come home with you. And then it broke my fucking heart when I saw you with another woman because I loved you then, too.

“And every day I spend with you, I fall even more in love. And the days we’re apart, I feel like I could die from the fucking heartache because I’m missing such an important part of me. It feels like I can’t go on breathing or surviving when you’re not with me, and that’s what I’m fucking scared of. I’m scared that you’ll leave me, just like everyone else in my life that I’ve ever loved, and I’ll never survive.”

She cried into Alexander’s chest, soaking his suit jacket. “I’m scared to death to love you, but I’m more scared to walk away from you,” she sobbed out. “There. I’ve admitted it. Are you satisfied now?”

“Sshhh… It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

She took several deep breaths, reveling in the feeling of being back in Alexander’s arms. It had not even been a week, but it felt like an eternity since those arms had held her.

“Olivia, look at me,” Alexander said, coaxing her head up. A brilliant smile spread across his face. “There’s the girl I love.” He wiped the tears from her eyes with his finger. Olivia let out a small laugh as she tried to compose herself, shivering from the chilly March air.

“You must be freezing out here, wearing just that,” Alexander said, eying Olivia’s black open-back halter top.

“You do a pretty good job at making me all hot and bothered, Mr. Burnham,” Olivia said sweetly.

Alexander laughed. “Come, love. Let’s get you warmed up.” He pulled her close to him and led her back toward the noisy bar.

He stopped right before the front door. “Hey, Olivia?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”
 

Her heart swelled. Standing on her tip-toes, she planted a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you, too, Alexander Burnham,” she murmured.