Authors: T.K. Leigh
“You know what, Cam?” Olivia said before draining her glass. He quickly signaled the server to bring her another. “It’s not the bad memories that hurt,” she quivered. “It’s the good ones that cause the most pain. Those are the memories that stay with you, making you smile. Then you realize that the source of those memories is gone and you’ll never have that feeling again.” She took a deep breath, her voice barely a whisper. “And that is what is most painful.”
Cam grabbed Olivia’s hand, gently brushing her knuckles. “Lucky guess, but we’re not talking about your parents here, are we? It’s something, or some
one
, that you ran from up in Boston, isn’t it?”
She opened her mouth, unsure of whether she could speak the words about what happened between her and Alexander.
He held his hand up to stop her. “I told you. I’m not going to pressure you to talk about anything you don’t want to. Let’s stop talking about all this heavy stuff and just enjoy each other’s company. I’m so sorry for whatever I said that would cause you any pain. That’s the last thing I want to do.”
The server dropped off another Manhattan and Olivia began to feel rather tipsy. She felt that familiar tingle and electricity, wondering whether it was simply the effects of the liquor. Whatever the reason, she didn’t care. Her body shuddered as Cam picked up her hand, softly kissing her knuckles. She was feeling something.
T
HAT
FUCKING
BASTARD
!
A
LEXANDER
thought as he sat at the far corner of the bar, his eyes trained on the table near the windows. He couldn’t believe that she was at his hotel, at the bar where he was drinking. What were the chances? And there
he
was, comforting her when she got upset and kissing her perfect fucking skin. It was taking all of his self-control to not walk over there and cause a scene.
No. Now was not the right time. He had been drunk nearly all day, and he was certain that nothing he could say to her at that moment would be swoon-worthy. And that’s what he needed.
He signaled the bartender to pour him another scotch as he sat there staring at Olivia.
His Olivia
. He was concerned about her drinking, but that was like the pot calling the kettle black. But four Manhattans? Really?
He couldn’t understand why he kept freezing up when she was nearby…on the beach earlier, now at the bar. He was unable to tell his legs to put one in front of the other and walk over there. Maybe his brain was trying to tell him something.
He watched as the guy sitting across from her caressed her skin, signaling their server for the check. Then she giggled and Alexander lost it. How could someone else be making her happy? That was
his
fucking job! Throwing several bills on the bar, he downed his scotch and walked out. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he needed to get away from there.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Ready to go, beautiful?” Cam asked, extending his arm and helping Olivia up from her chair. She wavered slightly, the multiple strong drinks affecting her balance. “Easy there, Libby. You drank a bit tonight.”
Olivia smiled. “I definitely did,” she slurred, clutching onto Cam's arm. “I’m shmammered.” She wished she hadn’t ordered so many Manhattans. Cam was smart, ordering only beer. She should have stuck to beer because she was fairly drunk right now. And when she was drunk, she made awful decisions.
“Shmammered? What’s that?” he asked, smiling at her.
“Kind of like a combination of smashed and hammered,” she giggled as Cam led her out to the lobby, snaking his arm around her waist to help steady her. His body felt so warm against hers. She enjoyed the closeness that she was beginning to feel with him.
“Shit!” she exclaimed just as they reached the front doors to the hotel. “I left my clutch in there.”
“I’ll go get it,” Cam said quickly.
“No. I’ll get it. I need to use the ladies’ room anyway.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
She smiled as she placed her hand on his chest. “I love that you worry about me,” she whispered against his neck.
Her breath smelled sweet, a combination of the alcohol and just her. She planted a quick kiss on Cam's neck before turning around to head back into the bar. “I’ll be right back. Promise.”
Cam chuckled as he watched her walk away, her hips swaying in such a way that made his entire being harden. “Okay, gorgeous. But if you’re not back in five minutes, I’ll send out a search party.”
Olivia turned her head around and winked as she walked back into the bar, searching for her clutch.
~~~~~~~~~~
After leaving the restaurant bar and roaming around for a while, Alexander walked into the lobby bar. He was less than impressed with their scotch selection, but he desperately wanted another drink, needing to forget about seeing Olivia with another man. It drove him crazy to even think about it.
He decided that one more scotch was in order so he returned to the restaurant bar he had just left, still feeling the unbearable pain. He wanted something to numb it all. Placing his order with the bartender, he glanced over at the empty table where Olivia had been sitting. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small purple clutch lying on the floor under the chair.
He took a deep breath before walking over there with the purpose of turning it over to the bartender so that no one stole anything out of it. After bending down to grab the small wristlet, his heart stopped as he stared into those big brown eyes again.
Olivia wavered a bit, obviously drunk from all the liquor he had watched her consume that evening. He noticed a small tear escape her eye and her chin quivered. The atmosphere immediately changed from one of hurt to one of hope. He could see it in her eyes. There was still hope for him.
He held out the clutch. “You left this. I didn’t want anyone to steal it,” he said quietly.
Olivia didn't know what to think. That morning, she had a feeling that Alexander was on the island. And now there he was, standing in front of her, handing her clutch to her. Knots began to form in the pit of her stomach. Leaving him was so easy when she didn’t have to look into those green eyes. She took the coward’s way out, writing him a letter saying good-bye. But now that she was face-to-face with him, could she really tell him that she didn’t want to be with him?
Slowly, she reached her hand out to grab the clutch, Alexander’s fingers softly brushing hers. Inhaling quickly, she dropped her eyes to his fingers delicately caressing her hand. It was such a simple gesture, but the fireworks erupting within her body sent shivers throughout.
“You still feel that?” Alexander asked sadly, noticing her reaction.
Olivia looked into his eyes again, opening her mouth, willing her brain to say something. Anything. But she couldn’t. A lump formed in her throat and she knew that she made a mistake leaving Alexander and Boston. Then his words echoed in her head.
“You always try to stay strong, ignoring the past, but you can’t keep it all inside, love. It will destroy you. It will destroy me, too.”
It was selfish of her to string Alexander along, knowing full well that the baggage she carried was too much for him to deal with. That’s how this all began. Those five little words…
It will destroy me, too
. Olivia knew they were true. And what she did no longer seemed selfish. It was
selfless
. She was saving Alexander from the inevitable pain of her path of destruction.
“I…I can’t do this, Alexander. I have to go,” she cried, turning abruptly and running out of the bar, leaving him alone.
“Olivia, love,” he called after her, trying to catch up. He saw her bolt out the front door of the hotel into a silver Lexus convertible. “Damn it!” he shouted as the car drove off, but not before she turned her head around, meeting his eyes one last time.
Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his cell phone, punching a button. “Martin,” he growled, his speech slurred. “Go over there and keep watch for me. Alert me if there’s any movement.” He hung up before retreating back to the restaurant. He downed the scotch on the bar and retired to his suite for the evening. Tomorrow was another day, and he wouldn’t start drinking at noon.
“A
RE
YOU
SURE
YOU
’
RE
okay, Libby?” Cam asked as he drove down the tree-lined streets on the south end of the island. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Taking in her appearance, he wondered if maybe she had gotten sick in the ladies’ room. Her eyes were red and her face was pale. The playful Olivia was nowhere to be found. He grabbed her hand after shifting into fourth. “Come on, Libby. Don’t shut me out. We were making so much progress.”
Olivia tilted her head toward him. “I’m sorry,” she replied dryly. She was desperate to get the evening out of her head. It had started out so nice. Earlier, she actually felt something she hadn’t in so very long…hope. Hope that she could survive life after Alexander, and then
he
had to go and show up at her little oasis.
After a silent car ride that felt as if it had lasted hours instead of mere minutes, Cam pulled up outside of Olivia’s beach cottage. She didn’t even wait for him to open the door for her. She bolted out of the car, anxious to forget the whole night.
“Libby, wait. Please,” Cam begged, catching up to her as she fumbled with her keys, frantically trying to unlock her front door with shaky hands. “Please,” he repeated, grabbing the keys out of her trembling fingers. “Let me fix this.” He trailed his hand down her arm, trying to calm her down.
Olivia turned around and met his eyes as he unlocked the door. “There. All better,” he said quietly, gently pushing the door open.
“Would you like to come in?” she asked, her voice soft. She wanted to forget about seeing Alexander, and she needed Cam to do that.
Running his hand through his hair, a look of hesitation spread across his face.
“Please, Cam. I just don’t want to be alone right now,” she begged, her eyes brimming with tears.
All of Cam's resolve to do the right thing melted at that moment. “Okay. I won’t leave you, Libby.” He followed her into the quaint house. Olivia needed him, and it felt good to be needed.
“Would you like a coffee?” she asked as she made her way through the open living room into the airy kitchen, placing her clutch on the island and throwing off her heels.
“If it’s not any trouble,” Cam replied, following her into the kitchen and sitting on a barstool.
“No trouble at all. How do you take it?”
“Black.” He winked.
Olivia smiled, remembering how Cam had noticed the little things about her, like how she began drinking her coffee black. She felt it matched her mood lately.
After preparing two cups of coffee in her one-cup brewer, she handed one to Cam and led him over to a large white couch in her living room. It was a small space, but the high ceilings made the room seem much larger and open.
“This is a great view you have,” Cam remarked, looking out the enormous front windows at the ocean.
“I’m quite fond of it myself,” Olivia replied, sitting on the couch, facing the large windows. “Who needs TV when you have this view? And, of course, the hot guys that come here to surf aren’t bad to look at either.” She winked, nudging Cam with her elbow.
This is good
, she thought. She was letting him in. Even if it didn’t work out, she knew it was a pain that she could deal with.
Cam's heart raced when he heard her words. She looked at him, her lips turned up gently in the corners as if inviting him to respond. “Well, I’ve known a few surfers who blow off work in the morning just to come and try to get a certain girl to notice them.”
“Slacker,” Olivia joked, sipping her coffee.
“Definitely,” he responded, placing his mug on the coffee table in front of him. “Give me that,” he said, grabbing her mug and setting it beside his.
Olivia turned to face him, her body instantly becoming warm as his eyes bore down into her. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, but she needed to feel close to someone. Desperation took over as she took his face in her hands and placed her lips on his, the kiss gentle at first before exploding into a passionate exchange.
His tongue entered her mouth as they feverishly explored each other’s bodies, Olivia pushing Cam down on the couch and straddling him. She broke her lips away from his, trailing kisses down his neck and collarbone, nibbling on his earlobe as she felt his erection grow between her legs.
“Fuck,” he exhaled. “God, your lips are soft, Libby,” he breathed as she continued torturing him with her mouth, gently kissing his chest through his shirt. She wanted to feel
something
. She tried to feel the electricity that she felt when she was with Alexander. As she traced her tongue against his neck, savoring the taste of his salty skin, her body refused to ignite on fire.
She sat back, grinding her hips against Cam's midsection, reaching for the buttons on his linen shirt, hoping to feel even the hint of a spark. At the very least, she wanted to forget about seeing Alexander. But, if that was true, why did she wish Cam’s blazing silver eyes were green when she looked into them? She closed her own eyes, not wanting to look at Cam as she continued torturing him with her body, moving on top of him in a way that made his entire body flame with desire. She slowly began to unbutton his shirt, lowering her lips to his chest, tracing circles with her tongue.
“Libby,” Cam said. “You don’t have to…”
Olivia held a finger over his mouth, hushing him. “I know,” she said, her breathing ragged. “I want this, Cam. I need this. Help me feel again, please.” She continued circling his midsection, finally beginning to feel a familiar throbbing between her legs.