“Once you wanted more.” William grabbed Ben’s hand. The demon’s touch burned, and smoke rose from Ben’s skin. “You just need to remember that. Remember who you were before.”
Ben twisted his wrist, but, even with his vamp strength, he couldn’t break free from William’s hold. “Let. Me. Go.” Or he’d be ripping the demon’s head off in the next five seconds.
“I’m the first visitor of the night.”
The first?
“There will be three, and in the end, the choice will be yours.” William glared at him. “But I’m telling you, asshole,
make the right choice.
”
Ben flashed his fangs and went for the demon’s throat. He braced himself for the acid burn to come. He’d drunk from a demon before, and he knew that taste would be a real bitch.
Before his fangs could slice into William, flames erupted around them.
Surrounded
them. And Ben knew he was about to die. His last thought…
Finally.
Ben smashed, face-first, into the snow. He leapt up and spat out the snow that filled his mouth. “What in the hell—”
“Not hell,” William cheerfully told him. “Been there, done that plenty. This is New York. Your old town.”
Ben whirled around. His gaze darted to the left. To the right. Sure enough, he recognized the buildings that shot so high up into the air.
New York.
He’d lived and breathed in this city for so long.
He’d also died there, temporarily, anyway.
His gaze focused on the entrance to Central Park. He’d been in there when his “death” happened. It had been so stupid to walk in the park that night. But he’d had plans. Such grand, hopeful plans.
His parents had loved that park. Before they’d died, he’d gone there with them so many times. The park had seemed to be the perfect place to start the future he craved.
But there’d been no future for him in that park. Only death.
“Let’s just take a closer look,” William murmured. He grabbed Ben again with his white-hot, burning hold, and in the next instant, they were inside Central Park. The snow was thick on the ground, and, in the distance, Ben could hear the sound of singing.
Christmas carols.
He’d heard those same songs ten years ago. Ten long years…
“Ah…let’s see…” William’s head turned to the right. “I figure you’ll be here in five, four, three, two…”
A man walked out of the darkness. A man who wore a long, flowing coat. The fool didn’t even have a cap on, and the snow left flecks of white in the fellow’s black hair. The guy’s shoulders were hunched against the cold and—
The man looked up. His green eyes darted around the park. Ben’s breath caught as he stared at the guy.
That’s me.
And just how was he staring at himself? What was William doing? How as this even possible? Ben grabbed William’s shirt-front. “
What is happening?”
William frowned down at Ben’s grabbing hands. “Have a care. That’s an expensive shirt.”
What? The shirt had survived fire. Ben was pretty sure it would survive his grip. A growl broke from Ben’s lips.
William sighed. “Magic makes it possible, okay? Some very powerful magic.”
Ben’s hands fell to his side.
“You’re seeing a memory, my friend,” William told him flatly. “So don’t bother trying to call out to anyone. They can’t see you. They can’t hear you.”
Seeing a memory…
“
And, unfortunately—”
“We’re not friends,” Ben said, but the words held no heat. He was pretty much too stunned for heat then.
“
Unfortunately,”
William pressed on, “this isn’t one of your better nights. This memory is gonna suck for you.”
No, no, it wasn’t a good night. Because even as Ben stared in shock, he saw a shadowy figure leap out from the trees. That figure hit his old self.
How fucking crazy is this? I’m watching the attack that ended my human life.
Watching it and hating it.
The attack was fast and vicious, and blood sprayed on the white snow as the vampire sank his teeth into his prey’s neck.
Ben lifted a hand to his throat. He remembered the feel of that bite. As if a thousand razor blades had just sliced into him.
As he kept watching, too stunned to speak, Ben realized that his old self was still trying to fight. Swinging out, punching. But a human was no match for a vampire.
And the guy that had attacked him this long ago night had been a very, very strong vampire. He looked at the vampire, noting the man’s blond hair, so blond it was almost white, and the guy’s ashen complexion. The vampire fed on him for so long and then…
The vampire tore his mouth from Ben’s throat. “Welcome to the darkness,” the vampire hissed, and he cut open his own wrist with a quick swipe of his fangs.
“This is it,” William said, his voice almost sad. “This is the moment it all changed for you.”
The blond vampire shoved his wrist over Ben’s mouth.
He’d only tasted a few drops of that blood, Ben remembered. Just a few—
The vampire laughed. Laughed and leapt away. The blond vamp raced back into the darkness, leaving a trail of blood drops in the snow behind him.
“He can’t see you.” William was studying the prone figure on the ground. “We’re watching a memory, and the memory doesn’t watch back. So go on…” His hand slammed into Ben’s back. “Get a close-up look at what you were.”
He didn’t want a close-up look.
Ben could hear a faint, desperate, gasping cry. That had been
his
cry. He’d been choking to death on his own blood as he lay in the snow.
William shoved him again. “Don’t be scared, vamp, it’s not like you don’t know what will happen next.” His touch scorched Ben’s flesh.
Dammit, Ben was tired of the demon’s burning shoves! He turned around and drove his fist into the demon’s face.
Take that, bastard.
William fell into the snow and Ben…he whirled back around and watched himself die.
The blond vampire had used his fangs to rip into and
across
Ben’s neck. The wound was deep. Savage. Blood was all around his body. His eyes were open, desperate.
So this is what I looked like when I died.
Chalk-white face, helpless stare. A mouth that struggled to speak, but with his throat ripped open, no words would be coming from him.
There was only…death.
And death did come. The gasping, choking sound ended with a wheeze. His eyes were still open, but staring sightlessly ahead. His chest didn’t rise. The blood…it was a blanket around him. His final shroud.
Snow crunched beneath William’s feet as the demon moved closer. “Now this only lasts a few minutes. The faster the rising, the more powerful the vampire.”
Ben glanced over at William. The demon was swiping snow off his body.
“You came back damn fast, so that meant you’d be a powerhouse.”
A powerhouse who’d never had the chance to cry out for help before his
change
.
But, sure enough, Ben saw the body in the snow stiffen. The green eyes changed, becoming golden in color, and the gaping wound in his neck…it closed.
The seconds ticked past in silence.
“You were lucky,” William added, his voice low. “I knew some poor bastards who didn’t rise until they’d already been buried. At least you didn’t have to dig your way out of a grave.”
Yes, he’d been…
lucky.
Then the man on the ground—
me—
started to suck in deep, heaving gulps of air.
“You’re back,” William’s wry voice told him.
Ben watched as his old self jumped to his feet. He ran shaking hands over his neck. Over his blood-soaked clothes.
“Back, but so different…”
Because the man standing there, with terror on his face…that guy had glowing, golden eyes…and two inch long fangs.
“I don’t want to see anymore,” Ben spun away from that memory or flashback or psychotic hallucination. Whatever the hell it was, he didn’t want to watch it anymore. He locked his fingers around William’s arm. “Get me out of here.
Now.
”
William lifted a brow. “It’s because you know who’ll be coming next.”
“
Get me out of here!”
“But if I did that, you’d miss the whole point of this walk down memory lane.” William shook his head. “We’re not done in your past yet.”
“This is ridiculous! I don’t want—”
“This is a lesson, and it’s your last chance.” Then William’s eyes widened as he stared over Ben’s shoulder. “Here she comes.”
Ben almost bit him.
No, no, no.
Ben did not want to see this. Her. He didn’t want to see
her.
His heart pounded hard in his chest.
Please, no.
She needed to run away. Run—
“Ben!” A woman’s voice called out. Worried. Scared. “Ben, where are you?”
“I don’t want to see this,” Ben growled.
“
Ben!”
He found himself looking toward that desperate cry.
She
was there. She was bundled up in the coat he’d given her, with her long, blonde hair spilling down her back. As she called for him, her face reflected her fear. Such a beautiful face. Heart-shaped, with glass-sharp cheekbones and a small, straight nose. He would have been able to pick her out anywhere.
Gorgeous. Delicate. So very perfect with her dark brown eyes and her lush, red lips.
And, once…
so very mine.
She spotted the man covered in blood. She ran toward him. Threw her arms around him. Held him tight. “
Oh, Ben! What happened? Where are you hurt? What can I do?”
Her hands flew frantically over him. Then… “
The blood…”
I don’t want to see this.
The memory hurt too fucking much. It made him want to cut out his own heart. Right. Like he hadn’t already tried that a time or ten.
Ben’s eyes locked on William because he would not, could not, watch that scene any longer. “Simone should have left me in a bloody heap.”
Simone Laurent.
The woman with the eyes that had seemed to see straight into his soul.
Until he’d stopped having a soul.
“Isn’t that her ring that you had in your pocket?” William craned to see the couple over Ben’s shoulder. “I mean, you were planning to marry the lovely Simone. That’s why you came to the park, right? You asked her to meet you here so that you could propose to her.”
He’d lost everything in that park. “Get me
out
of here.”
“Um…you know, I’m not sure you’re getting the point of this little activity.” Now William’s hand slammed down on Ben’s chest, right over his heart. “Maybe you need a more,
up-close
view of the past. Just watching isn’t enough. Let’s try experiencing it firsthand.” William’s tattoos started to swirl as the demon began to chant. Then he said, “I can only give you an hour, but I think it will be long enough. While you’re there, it will be just like you’re living things for the first time. You won’t even remember me.”
What. The. Fuck?
“So just enjoy your time with her. The end will be the same, no matter what you do. It’s still a memory, only one you’re living.”
Ben could smell the scent of his own burning flesh. The snow fell harder, and then the fire raged once more, seeming to surge right up from William’s hand.
Ben screamed as he was consumed. But it was
her
name that he screamed. Simone. The only woman he’d ever loved.
The woman he’d killed.
“Simone!”
***
Water slammed into his face. Ben blinked as steam rose around him. He shook his head and realized—
I’m in a shower.
Not just any shower, though. His hand flew out and yanked against the gleaming, gold faucet. He stumbled from the shower, his feet slipping a bit on the marble tile. This bathroom—it was in his New York penthouse.
He whirled around, his gaze flying to the left, to the right.
My place.
“Ben, I’ve got a towel for you.”
He stiffened. That was Simone’s voice. He could smell her. That light, sweet scent of vanilla that had always clung to her.
Naked, dripping, he turned to face her. She stood in the doorway, a white towel held in her hands.
A dark wave of déjà vu swept over him. He felt as if he’d somehow lived this exact scene before. With her. And…something very bad had happened. The knowledge was there, but…clouded. Foggy.
“Ben?” Simone gazed up at him with worry clear on her face.
He backed up a step. “You should…stay away from me.” He wasn’t even sure why he gave her that warning.
Simone shook her head. Instead of getting away from him, she said, “I want to help you.” She crept forward until she stood right in front of him. Her right hand rose, and her soft palm settled against his chest. That one touch electrified him, and it sealed her fate.
“Please,” she whispered. “I want to help you.”
Lust clawed through him. The need, the red-hot desire, seemed to burn Ben from the inside. He grabbed Simone, yanked her flush against him. His mouth locked on hers. He’d always tried to be so careful with her in the past. Played the gentleman because she
mattered.
He wasn’t a gentleman any longer. Ben wasn’t even sure what he was. He just knew he needed Simone naked, and he had to be
in
her.
He carried her back to his bedroom. He ignored the glittering New York skyline. She was the only thing he could see. Desire pounded through him. His cock was so swollen that he hurt and—
His teeth were extending. Stretching in his mouth.
Ben dropped Simone on the bed and stepped back, horrified.
“Ben?” Simone sat up on the bed and pushed back the blonde hair that had tumbled forward. “What’s wrong?”
She was so gorgeous and sexy staring up at him. Looking at him with those wide, dark eyes.
I’m going to hurt her.
He grabbed for the control that he’d always held so easily in the past. Only that control was broken. Shattered. “You need to leave.”
Simone sucked in a sharp breath. Pain flashed over her face. “I thought…you said you loved me.”