Read A Village Dilemna (Turnham Malpas 09) Online
Authors: Rebecca Shaw
But somehow Georgie’s face kept intruding, and instead of the words he saw an image of her laughing up at him on their wedding day, crying when she’d found she wasn’t pregnant when she’d been confident she was. That had been a blow, that had; no children. But it had been a long time since he’d grieved about it. A long time. Down below him he spotted Guy and Hugh, Neville’s boys, standing smoking by the summer house. Two huge great boys, well, men really, confident, well-educated, Oxford or somewhere similar now behind them, both heading out into the world. They’d only themselves to blame if they didn’t succeed. Unbidden came the thought: if only he’d had their chances.
Somewhere below a door opened and he heard Neville calling for Liz. He wished he’d never thought to ask the slimy toad to help finance his scheme. In a rare moment of clarity he knew Neville would bleed him dry if he didn’t watch it. That was what happened when you’d made your money, you could just sit back and do nothing and in the returns would roll. Well, damn moneybags Neville. He’d pay him his loan back as soon as he could, even if he had to go without to do it. He and Georgie together would conquer the world. He needed Georgie to enjoy the fruits of his plan, there’d be no point in being rich just for himself. Somehow he had to have her, come hell or high water. He’d never thought he could fall in love all over
again but that was exactly what had happened to him. He only had to see Georgie and the blood was gushing through his veins, his heart making that leap it used to do whenever she walked into a room when they were young and starting out.
Bryn checked his watch. They’d be opening soon. He strolled downstairs, called out he wouldn’t be needing lunch and left for the Royal Oak. He turned out of the gates to go down Church Lane and saw a surveyor standing on the pavement taking a bearing through a theodolite. He gave him a cheery ‘Good morning’ and a salute, and meandered past. Then Bryn stopped in his tracks. He turned back and went to pass the time of day with the chap. Friendly, kind of, the new Bryn. The new hail-fellow-well-met kind of Bryn.
‘What are you up to this fine sunny morning, might I ask?’
His assistant some yards away glanced up. The surveyer answered, ‘You can ask.’
Bryn thought aye, aye! Something’s going on here he doesn’t want us to find out about. ‘Just wondered, you know, why you were here. Realigning the road or something?’
‘No.’
‘What then?’
The surveyor tapped the side of his nose with his forefinger.
Bryn began to smell a rat. ‘I see. Mum’s the word.’
He nodded.
‘Surely we’ve a right to know; we are all ratepayers.’
‘Look, I’m trying to do a job of work here. Would you mind moving on? Please.’
Bryn tried several diplomatic approaches but the chap remained annoyingly silent.
‘There is such a thing as good manners when someone’s speaking to you.’
‘Look! I’m here to do a job. Just go away.’
Bryn was tempted to kick a leg of his theodolite, but decided against it. He wouldn’t learn anything that way. He turned on his heel and went back to Glebe House.
‘Neville!’
‘Yes. I’m in the study,’ came the reply in that reedy voice which could irritate so very quickly.
Bryn pushed open the door and there Neville sat in his gleaming study, at his obsessively tidy desk, fingers poised over his keyboard, peering at him over the top of his gold-rimmed half-glasses.
‘In your position as councillor do you know anything at all about these chaps out here surveying the place?’
Neville paused only for a moment but Bryn picked up on it, then Neville said, ‘Not a thing.’
Bryn thought, you liar. You absolute liar. You do. ‘I’m surprised you don’t, you being on the council.’
‘I may be on the council but I don’t know every jot and tittle of what’s going on in other departments.’
‘I thought you were in planning?’
‘I am, but this isn’t my kind of planning.’
‘I see.’ Bryn rubbed his chin while he considered. ‘Do you know who might know? The chappie himself isn’t forthcoming, which is suspicious in itself.’
Neville had returned to studying his computer and looked up impatiently. ‘Sorry, Bryn, must press on. I’ll ask around.’
I bet, thought Bryn.
Reluctantly he left Neville to his work and wandered off to the Royal Oak.
It was lunchtime and only Alan was about.
‘Georgie not in?’
‘Getting ready to go out. Her day off.’
‘Ah! I’ll have a whis— No, I’ll have a tonic water. Choose something for yourself, anything you fancy.’
‘No, thanks, too early for me.’
Bryn settled himself on a bar stool and quizzed Alan about where Georgie was going.
‘I’ve been told not to interfere in her private life, so I’ve no idea.’
Bryn chuckled. ‘Whoops!’ He laughed some more and saw Alan beginning to go red in the face. ‘How’s the kid? Louis, or whatever his name is.’
‘Lewis, actually. He’s doing great.’
‘Time you had another.’
‘You can’t rush these things.’
‘Young virile chap like you.’
‘These things take time and it costs money to bring up a kid. Two might just finish us off.’
‘I bet. Tips you get in here. Cruise liners are even better for tips. I could earn more than my wages every week on the liners.’
Alan perked up at this, but then knew for sure that Linda would never tolerate his absences. ‘Here’s Georgie.’
She came through from the back, dressed for off, and what a picture she made, thought Bryn.
‘My taxi’ll be here in a minute. You can manage, can’t you, Alan?’
‘Of course.’
Georgie saw Bryn. ‘You’ve turned up. Feeling OK?’
Bryn nodded. ‘I’m just planning to go into Culworth. Can I give you a lift?’
He saw her hesitate, ponder and dismiss the idea. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Why not? I won’t pester, I’ll drop you off and we’ll arrange a picking-up time.’ He gave her a winning smile, saw her hesitate, than make up her mind.
‘All right, then, but I’ll have the taxi to pay.’
‘Leave me to attend to that.’ They heard the horn tooting outside. ‘Won’t be a tick.’
Bryn came back in and realised that Alan and she had had words; Georgie was flushed and Alan was sullen.
‘I’ll go and pick up my car. Won’t be a minute.’
‘I’ll wait outside in the yard.’
‘OK.’
After he’d settled her in her seat in the most gentlemanly way, Bryn roared off down the Culworth Road delighted to be able to show off his new car to her.
Georgie settled back on the luxurious leather seat and that nagging annoying feeling buried deep down struggled to the surface again. When she’d been so sickened by Bryn for so long, how could she possibly have any feelings left for him? But she had. They surged to the forefront of her consciousness and she revelled in them. He made her feel a million dollars. She glanced at him and he caught her eye.
‘Watch the road, for heaven’s sake!’
Bryn could only laugh, out loud, boisterously, joyfully. ‘Let’s lunch first, then we’ll go our separate ways.’
‘I don’t know about lunch.’
Bryn nudged her. ‘Go on.’
‘Well … all right, then.’
‘Good! The George for Georgie. Heh!’
‘I needed to. Alan giving you grief?’
‘Not really. Just thinks he’s my guardian. Well, I’ve got news for him. He isn’t.’
They drove in silence for a while, Bryn exulting in the chance to show Georgie what he was made of and Georgie enjoying the pleasure of escaping briefly from her workaday life. She looked at Bryn’s profile and thought he wasn’t the best-looking of men but there was something about him nowadays which had been lacking before. He’d become prepossessing, almost attractive. She said, ‘It seems to me you’re a hardened drinker. I didn’t appreciate that performance last night.’
‘Neither did I. It won’t happen again. I’m not a hardened drinker, don’t think that of me. It was Dicky’s challenge that made me make a fool of myself.’
‘Too right, you did make a fool of yourself. Why can’t you just leave Dicky alone?’
‘He annoys me, thinking he can whisk you off to the altar as soon as the divorce comes through. What’s more, like I’ve said before, I shan’t agree to it.’
‘Hard luck, I’m going through with it.’
Bryn, having to pause at the traffic lights at the bottom of Deansgate, took his chance. He laid a gentle hand on Georgie’s knee and said, ‘That night …’
‘Yes?’
‘You and me in the lounge. You were very tempted. You and me making music together.’ The lights changed and he drove on.
‘I may have been tempted, but I’d never have forgiven myself. I’m marrying Dicky.’
Her throat seemed to fill up with emotion and tears
were very close. What was the matter with her? Blowing with the wind, she was. When she was with Dicky it was Dicky, with Bryn, out of the blue, she discovered emotions long since dead.
‘You don’t sound as convincing as you did.’
‘Oh, but I am.’ Liar, she thought, liar.
When they walked from the car park into the George she noticed one or two admiring glances directed at Bryn. His manners and bearing in a place like the George were exactly right, and she couldn’t help thinking that Dicky would not have carried the whole situation off with quite the same style as Bryn was doing.
All through the meal Georgie endeavoured to keep the conversation as general as she could, avoiding all mention of Dicky or Bel or the pub, but after an hour of sustaining that Bryn inevitably turned the talk to Dicky.
‘It’s quite simple, Bryn, I love him and I don’t love you.’
He looked keenly at her, noted the slight flush the wine had brought to her cheeks, the way her lovely blonde hair curled and swirled so naturally about her face, her mouth so sweet and yet showing strength, and he wished so very much that she were his. What an idiot he’d been.
‘I sense doubt. I sense there’s indecision.’
‘Do you indeed.’
‘I do.’
Georgie’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I do. I do. I do love him.’
‘And me? What about me?’
A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. Georgie found a tissue and wiped it away.
‘Well, what about me?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You make me not know my own mind. I want you out of my life. I want you to go. I don’t want your lunch business and I don’t want you in the bar. Right!’ She stood up and marched from the restaurant blinded by tears.
He rushed after her, leaving two twenty-pound notes on the till as he went. Bryn caught her as she headed away from the hotel towards the station taxi rank. ‘Look here, this is ridiculous. At least let me take you home.’ With his arm round her shoulders he lead her towards his car and they sat there for a while until Georgie had command of herself.
‘I was going to see my solicitor again with some papers he needs, to do with the business. You know, for the divorce. I’ll tidy myself up and I’ll go. I can’t waste a day. I get few enough days off as it is.’
‘Why bother, when you’re not sure? I’ve found a whole new love for you, Georgie, a whole new love. I admit to being a fool in the past, but I’ve come to my senses now. I want you to leave things as they are. I’ll do this tourist thing now I’ve got them planned and then after this summer I’ll forget it and we can go back to being husband and wife running the pub, and we’ll employ more staff so it’s not so intense. You know, more time off. What do you say?’
Her answer was to stare out of the windscreen saying nothing. Bryn waited. And waited, until eventually he said, ‘Well, all right then, you think about it.’ He turned the ignition and started reversing out of the parking space.
‘You’re asking too much of me.’
Bryn stopped the car half in and half out. ‘I’m only asking for the status quo.’
‘Too much water under the bridge for that.’
‘I don’t see why.’
‘How long till you become what you were before? How long till you kill what I have for you like before? How long till you forget the love bit and fancy the new barmaid? How long, I say, how long?’
Silenced by the obvious truth of what she said, Bryn drove her to the solicitor’s office and remained outside like a condemned man awaiting his sentence. When Georgie came out and got back in, neither of them noticed the car which went past them in the busy street, nor did they see the wave the driver gave them.
‘No?’
‘Bryn and Georgie.’
Caroline turned from the cooker and looked at him. ‘How odd, him driving her to the solicitor’s to get a divorce from him.’
‘It’s curious, isn’t it? It looked as though he’d sat outside and waited for her. She was getting into the car just as I passed.’ Peter went to put his communion case in the study and came back into the kitchen closing the door behind him. ‘Darling, we must come to some decision about … what to say to the children. We did say we would. Have you given it any more thought?’
‘A little. I think I can face up to it better now than I imagined I would. But I still haven’t thought out how to introduce it.’
‘No, neither have I. What I don’t want to do is give them the idea that their arrival was some dreadful murky underhand happening of which we are completely ashamed. I am ashamed of what I did, and rightly so, but I don’t want them to feel that.’
She turned round to look at him and he couldn’t quite decipher what she was asking him, so he avoided a straightforward answer by saying, ‘From the moment I first saw them I have loved them.’
‘Me too.’
They were both silent for a while, then Peter said, ‘It’s amazing how one can help others with their problems and yet, with one’s own …’
‘Photographs. How about photographs?’
‘Which?’
‘In the parish albums. There must be some of her in there. Surely?’
‘I don’t know.’
Caroline answered quite clearly, ‘You do, you know.’
Peter flushed. He poured himself a glass of water from the jug on the table and took a long drink before he said, ‘I’ll check that.’
‘It will hurt me more than you to see them. Remember that. Tell the children, darling, they need to wash their hands.’
By the time the children had responded to this request the meal was on the table. ‘Grace.’ Peter waited for them to close their eyes and put their hands together, then said, ‘By the grace of God we have food to eat, clean water to drink and a loving home. Praise God the Almighty. Amen.’
‘I had hoped Bryn and Georgie might get together again. What about you?’ Caroline asked him.
‘I hoped so too, but considering the tales we’ve heard of the goings on I very much doubt it.’
Beth enquired, ‘Doesn’t Mrs Fields want Mr Fields for a husband any more?’
Caroline answered her with, ‘It’s all very complicated, Beth, but I’m sure one day they’ll get it all sorted.’
Alex said, ‘I like Mrs Fields. She’s nice, and I like Mr Tutt. I can’t wait to get into Scouts proper, then we’ll have him for our leader. He’s always good fun.’
Beth emptied her mouth before asking, ‘Where are Mr and Mrs Fields’s children?’
‘They haven’t got any.’
Beth looked at Caroline as she said this and came out with, ‘Perhaps she’s like you, Mummy, and can’t have children.’
‘I expect that’s so.’
‘Will I be the same? Because you’re my mummy?’
Caroline cupped Beth’s lovely rounded cheek in her hand and skirted round the situation as usual by saying, ‘Not necessarily. You’ll probably have dozens of children.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t want dozens, but four would be very nice, thank you. Think of all the washing. And the ironing.’
Alex said, ‘I’m not having any at all, I’m going to explore the world in my plane, I shan’t have time.’
For quite a while Beth ate her food without speaking. Caroline cast a few glances at her and, knowing her as she did, suddenly realised she was going to produce some devastating piece of information and felt sick to her stomach.
She did just that. ‘But if you’re not my mummy, and
my tummy-mummy could have Alex
and
me, then perhaps I
shall
be able to have babies.’
Peter answered on Caroline’s behalf, ‘Yes. It’s very likely and I shall be proud to be their grandfather.’
Alex burst out laughing. ‘Grandad! Grandad!’
Beth giggled. ‘Granny! Granny!’
‘Who is my granny?’
Peter looked at Alex and said, ‘There’s your Granny and Grandad Peterson who are Mummy’s mother and father, but unfortunately my mother and father died a long while ago, so you’ve never known them.’
Beth declared, ‘Those two sisters at school who dance, they don’t know where their daddy is. They’ve only got a mummy. And there’s Janine, she’s only got her daddy and sometimes her mummy because she’s usually in hospital. And there’s Sean, he’s got a dad at the weekends.’
Caroline asked Beth how she knew all this.
‘Because I listen.’
Alex snorted his disbelief. ‘Because you’re a nosy parker. I’ve heard you asking.’
‘I do not.’
‘You do.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You do, so there!’
Peter rapped on the table. ‘Children, this won’t do. Finish your dinner.’
Beth burst into tears. ‘I don’t want mine. He’s horrid. I only wanted to know.’
Peter reached out to pat her arm. ‘Of course you did. You needed to get it sorted out, didn’t you. It’s very sad that so many children haven’t got both their mother and their father at home. Very sad indeed.’
Alex said in a belligerent tone, ‘They look all right.’
Caroline murmured, ‘But some of them must hurt inside.’
‘Definitely. I’m sure they must. Now dry your tears, young lady, and count your blessings.’
This silenced Alex and Beth but it did nothing to quell the fear in Caroline’s heart. Week in week out she felt as though she’d actually given birth to them both, she loved and adored them so dearly. So much so that for years she’d been able to dismiss from her mind the time when Alex and Beth would need an explanation of their origins, but as Peter had said only a few short weeks ago, the time had come. Whether it was harder for her than for him she wasn’t quite sure. Whether or not they would fully understand the situation she didn’t know. What she dreaded most of all was them wanting to know all about Suzy and their three half-sisters, Daisy, Pansy and Rosie. Their names were engraved on her heart. Even worse, though, would Alex and Beth still feel the same about her after they’d been told? She remembered the searing pain of the day when, thinking they were all away on holiday, Suzy had come back to the village. In her mind she could still see Alex running out into the road in his pyjamas and her snatching him up, and seeing Suzy standing by the lych-gate looking up the church path waving to Peter. It didn’t bear thinking about.
Caroline looked at Peter and he saw how troubled she was. ‘Children, if you give Mummy and me ten minutes I’ll come and play a game with you. Your choice.’
‘Lose Your Shirt,’ shouted Alex.
Beth suggested Scrabble.
‘Not Scrabble, I don’t like Scrabble.’
‘That’s because you always lose.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You do!’
‘I don’t!’
‘Make up your minds. Ten minutes, then.’
He closed the kitchen door after them and began clearing the table.
Caroline asked, ‘Just how far shall we go?’
‘Play it by ear. They’re both intelligent; they’ll soon understand the whole picture. I’ve had a thought.’
Caroline said, ‘Good. Because I haven’t.’
‘I think the photograph album is the best approach. We can casually find one of her and begin the explanation from there.’
‘Oh, God!’
‘You’ve nothing to fear.’
‘Haven’t I?’
‘No, why should you? I bear the burden of guilt, don’t I? They may never want to speak to me again, but that’s for me to cope with.’
‘Do they
have
to know everything?’
‘As I said, I’ll play it by ear. Go as far as they want to go. They know the mechanics. Believe me, Kate Pascoe has left no stone unturned in her sex education lessons. I know because she thrashed it all out with me before she started them.’
Bent over the dishwasher filling the racks, Caroline almost groaned aloud with anxiety at the prospect. She turned to face him. ‘You must impress on them that they are adopted by you and me. That there’s no going back. That Suzy wasn’t able to keep them because she couldn’t cope, with her husband dead and three children already.
Don’t let them think she didn’t want them, because she did. I think maybe I’m not ready for these revelations.’
‘Is one ever completely ready? For something on this scale? But what I shall emphasise is that the two of them answered your prayers as well as mine. I don’t want them to think Suzy and I foisted them on you. It was you who asked her for them, remember.’
The doorbell rang. It registered with neither of them so at the second ring it was Beth who opened the door and found Georgie Fields on the doorstep, looking distraught.
‘Is the Rector in?’
‘Yes, he is, Mrs Fields. Will you come into the study and I’ll go and get him.’
Georgie crept in to the study, where Beth invited her to sit down and went to find Peter.
‘That’s our game cancelled.’
‘Why?’
‘That was Mrs Fields at the door. I’ve shown her into your study, Daddy.’
Peter put down the tablecloth he was folding and left the kitchen. He found Georgie sitting on the study sofa, weeping. Closing the door behind him, he seated himself at his desk and asked quietly, ‘Now, Georgie, what can I do for you?’
Georgie couldn’t answer. All she could think of was coming back from Culworth in silence because she was so confoundedly mixed up about everything and then finding herself alone in the lounge with Bryn.… she sobbed again at what she’d done.
‘I’m sorry for interrupting when you’re busy. I don’t even know if I should have come. But I’m so mixed up. I can’t ever, ever forgive myself for what I’ve done.’
‘I could kill him, I could.’
Peter waited.
‘I’ve made such a mess of things.’
‘There’s an answer to be found to most problems.’
‘Not to this.’
‘Tell me.’
‘I can’t’.
‘There’s nothing I haven’t heard about the frailty of human lives. The foolish, the downright evil, the absolute depths of depravity. I don’t expect for one minute that your problem is any more dreadful.’
‘It is to me.’
‘Ah!’
Georgie dried her eyes. ‘I should never have come here. I can’t tell someone like
you
. Never. I’m an idiot, an incredible fool. I quite simply can’t tell
you
. I’ll go.’ She stood up.
‘That’s all right by me, but sometimes it helps to speak to an outsider. Gives a new dimension to things, don’t you know.’
‘I …’
‘Anything said in this room is entirely confidential; I don’t even tell Caroline. You have my word about that.’
Peter waited.
‘It’s Bryn.’ She sat down again. ‘It’s Bryn. Before he came back I was absolutely clear about Dicky. All I wanted was to get face to face with Bryn, sort out the business side of things, you know, the money side, get the divorce, marry Dicky and live happily ever after.’
‘And … what’s stopping you doing just that?’
‘Me. I’m stopping me.’
‘Well, that’s just it.’ ‘It’ was Dicky finding out that they were in her bedroom with the door locked when he came to start his shift. He’d been looking for her and as he had free run of the upstairs rooms he thought nothing of going up there to find her. He’d tapped on her bedroom door as a last resort and found it locked, and had known instinctively what was afoot. She and Bryn were sleeping in each other’s arms and they’d woken with such a jolt when Dicky had rattled the doorknob.
‘He’s … we’ve … Bryn and I have … slept together today and Dicky’s found out.’
He’d stood hammering on the door, shouting and shouting. They’d both dressed and eventually Bryn had unlocked the door. Dicky must have heard the key turn because before Bryn could open the door he had pushed it open and was facing them, eye to eye, hands clenched by his sides. Georgie didn’t think she had ever seen Dicky so wild with temper. She’d honestly thought murder would be done. He’d looked past them and seen the bed so obviously slept in, and he’d given Bryn a stare which had made her blood run cold. His face was contorted with such fearful anger, such terrifying despair, such horror. She shuddered at the thought.
Georgie heard Peter say something, but didn’t know what it was. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t hear.’
‘I said I’m so sorry to hear that. So sorry.’