Soon they were lying next to each other on the sofa kissing with more intent. He was, she realised, a much better kisser than his younger brother had been.
‘I didn’t mean this to happen,’ Angus said, breaking free, sounding almost guilty. ‘I mean, obviously I’m delighted it did, but it feels a bit … I don’t know …’
She put her finger on his mouth. ‘It’s all right; you don’t have to apologise. I would have told you if I wasn’t happy about it.’
‘Oh, good.’
The smile in his eyes was like sunlight after a long, bleak winter. It made her feel the most desirable creature in the world. She’d thought she’d never feel like this again – or not for a long time. She decided to go with it, let what happened happen and then just deal with the consequences. It felt so right.
Eventually, boldly, she said, ‘Do you think this would be better if we carried on upstairs?’
‘You mean, in your bed?’
‘Yes! The boys’ play mat is a bit small and scratchy and, besides, we might wake them up.’
He gently pinched the bit of her he happened to be holding. ‘The bed it is.’
She was woken by the sound of a car driving away and realised she was alone. But the space next to her was warm so he hadn’t been gone long. Her clock told her it was five o’clock. She sighed. He’d picked his moment – another hour and the boys might come in at any moment.
Relief and regret mingled to form a sort of happy melancholy. Her body felt different. She’d been on her own for so long that now it felt as if she’d had a very intense massage: very relaxed but also a bit tender. It would have been wonderful to wake up together but she wasn’t greedy. She’d had a really wonderful time – unexpectedly – it wasn’t reasonable to ask for more. She’d always said she didn’t want a stepfather for her boys and that hadn’t changed. Angus was a wonderful uncle, but she didn’t want him to be a father to her boys. That would be way more difficult.
She got up to check on the boys and go to the loo and then went downstairs. There was a note on the kitchen table.
I didn’t want to leave you but I thought it was probably best, for the boys’ sake. Please phone or text to say you’re all right. You are so very lovely. A x
.
She knew that whatever happened from now on, she would treasure that scrap of paper.
She felt really awkward about ringing him. Although he’d written that sweet note she felt embarrassed about having set aside all sense and just gone with her feelings. In her sane mind she would never have slept with anyone she’d only just met and hadn’t even been out with. It was crazy.
She was fairly sure he wouldn’t judge her but she did judge herself – even though she’d made her decision consciously; she hadn’t slept with him by mistake. She did worry about looking as if she was a desperate single mother – she probably was a desperate single mother! She decided to text instead of phoning.
I am fine. I hope you are too. L x
. She’d thought about the kiss, not because she didn’t want to give him one but because she didn’t want to look needy.
Suddenly doubts came crashing around her – the trough that came after a wonderful peak. Supposing he thought she might try to trap him? That she’d seen a single man and would think: Here’s a meal ticket? Should she tell him she was on the pill? Had she mentioned it last night? She couldn’t remember!
When she thought about it more rationally she realised he probably wouldn’t feel that, but the doubt remained, like a stone in a shoe, tiny, but also nagging and painful.
Grateful it was a nursery day for Billy as well as school for Ned, Lindy focused on being as normal as possible. She had only just managed to get the bags of toys out of sight. She put the KitKats on the side, their ‘going to sleep quickly’ prizes.
Her feelings about Angus were so incredibly confused. Part of her – a big part – was in danger of falling in love with him. He was gorgeous, kind, considerate, sexy – a wonderful lover. The rest of her was acutely embarrassed. Easy didn’t describe her – how long had it been before she was inviting him into her bed? OK, he did kiss her first – she was fairly sure it had been him – but she definitely moved them on from kissing to sex. The thought of it made her cringe and she had to concentrate very hard on getting some Shreddies into Billy.
She had just come back from walking Billy to nursery when her phone went. Her heart leapt in hope and dread that it might be Angus. It was Rachel. She sounded relaxed and happy.
‘Hi, Lindy. Are you free?’
‘Pretty much – child-free too,’ said Lindy, wondering if her friends would be able to tell that she’d had amazing sex since she’d last seen them. It seemed likely. You couldn’t go through all that and still look the same, surely. If they did guess, she’d have to go into all sorts of explanations and she hadn’t got it all clear in her own head yet.
‘Excellent. Come over to mine then, help me out with the leftovers. Beth’s mother’s gone but she will be back. Beth’s on her way so you come when you can. I just want to tell you what she told me she and Helena wanted. Of course it might all change when we hear from Helena, but I thought we ought to be prepared.’
There was no trace of her bed-and-breakfast guest in the house but Rachel seemed extra energised.
She served large white cups of real coffee to them and offered a bowl of croissants, a dish of butter curls and some jam. ‘Dig in,’ she said.
‘We will make crumbs,’ said Lindy.
‘That’s fine! I have a crumb brush.’ Rachel moved the croissants in Lindy’s direction. ‘I knew Vivien wouldn’t eat them but they looked lovely on the table.’
‘Christian-name terms already,’ said Lindy. ‘Good sign.’ She took a croissant and reached for the butter.
‘So, tell all,’ said Beth, obviously relieved that her friend wasn’t a gibbering wreck after her night with her mother.
‘Oh God, I loved it,’ said Rachel. ‘I was born to be a bed-and-breakfast landlady.’
‘But wasn’t she terribly demanding?’ said Beth.
‘Yes, but I rose to the challenge. And I had very good bedlinen, and down pillows. It put me right ahead of the game.’
‘She would have appreciated that,’ said Beth, tucking in herself now.
‘She did. Although I will develop a pillow menu for those who like something firmer or have allergies.’ She paused. ‘She absolutely loved your grandmother’s bread, Lindy. If I was going to do this regularly, I’d have to have an order so I could always have it.’
As Rachel had paid Lindy’s grandmother handsomely for the loaf, Lindy felt this would probably be fine.
‘And the preserves. Excellent. What Vivien really appreciated was how local everything was. Thank you so much for sorting that, Lind. You’ll have to tell me where you got everything. And, Beth, I ought to have a website if I’m going to do this. Can you sort that for me?’
‘Of course. I can make a start now if you like. But didn’t you hate having to give up your room?’ asked Beth.
‘Not really. But it was cooking the breakfast I found the most challenging – and enjoyable. For example, if I cooked everything to order it would take too long so I started off a couple of sausages and some bacon. I did the eggs just before she wanted them, of course. It worked brilliantly.’
‘How much did you charge?’ said Beth.
‘Well, I had to offer family rates, seeing as she’s your mother, Beth.’
‘But she can afford—’
‘That’s what she said. She gave me a hundred and fifty. Said it was well worth it. I’m definitely going to have another en-suite put in. If I had three letting rooms that we could offer our wedding clients, it would be a wonderful service.’
‘But not cost-effective unless you wanted to do B and B all the time,’ said Lindy. ‘Even I can work that out.’
‘I think I would like to. Not all clients would be as wonderfully challenging as Vivien, of course, but if I charged high prices I’d only attract a really discriminating clientele.’
‘You mean fussy so-and-sos, like my mother?’
‘Exactly! I loved it,’ she said again. ‘Now, enough of the fun stuff. I need to tell you Vivien’s vision for the wedding. She’s coming back really quite soon. And she’s bringing Helena! Back from her travels. Not the blushing bridegroom though. He’s still organising their future lives.’
Beth’s eyebrows rose at this mention of Jeff. ‘I’ve had some ideas about the website for Vintage Weddings,’ she said. ‘But maybe it’s a bit early to set it up?’
‘I would have thought you could do one, if you wanted to,’ said Lindy. ‘I’d like to be referred to as Wedding Dress Consultant on it.’
‘And I’ll be Bed and Breakfast and General Nit-picker,’ said Rachel. ‘But let me tell you about Vivien. We know, because Beth told us, that she really wanted Helena to get married in the cathedral – apparently she could have swung it – with the cathedral choir, bells, real trees instead of flowers, like Kate and William: the works.’
‘You can see why Helena asked me to do it,’ said Beth.
‘But Helena is having a change of heart, according to Vivien. Coming to realise there’s lots to be said for an upmarket wedding.’
‘She’s not backing out from Vintage Weddings, is she?’ asked Lindy, appalled. ‘I mean I know not much has actually been set in stone but it was because of Helena that we got together to do weddings. Has she said anything to you, Beth?’
‘Not a word, but don’t panic,’ said Beth. ‘Helena might want something a bit grander than she thought at first she could have, given she’d spent the wedding money. But she won’t go for the cathedral and real trees thing. Trust me.’
‘Vivien said the same,’ Rachel confirmed. ‘They’ve missed the moment for the cathedral, so they’re settling for St Mary’s, which handily, is just here.’ She exhaled. ‘Vivien did want us all to go over to Little Netherbourne or wherever she lives, and do it all there, but I explained that was impossible.’
‘That’s a relief,’ said Lindy.
‘And I hope I’ve steered her away from too many posh canapés. They’re very fiddly to do and I can’t see Belinda wanting to make them.’ Rachel seemed fairly confident. ‘I told her a few canapés and a sit-down do is far better, more fashionable.’
‘Is it more fashionable?’ asked Beth.
‘I have no idea! But more to the point, nor had Vivien and that’s all that mattered.’
Lindy couldn’t help noticing that Rachel had a bloom about her. Did she have a bloom about her too? And if she did, would they guess why? No, she told herself firmly, she was being neurotic.
‘So there’s nothing we can do immediately?’ said Beth. ‘I might as well do a website for you, Rachel, and for Vintage Weddings. I’ve got some lovely pictures of April’s wedding I can use – you know, background shots. I’ll have to ask if I can use recognisable ones. I should be able to use some of them on your site, Rachel.’
‘Brilliant!’
‘And when we’ve got a look we’re pleased with – a logo and things – and everyone’s happy with it, I’ll get some cards done, brochures, things like that. Can I pop up and take some pictures of the bedroom and bathroom?’ Beth went on.
‘Go for it. It’s looking lovely. The flowers I did for Vivien are still fresh.’
After Beth had taken her photographs and every leftover had been eaten, Lindy and Beth headed off in different directions, replete and wondering what difference Helena’s presence would make to the planning of her wedding.
Lindy was less concerned about this than the others – she had other things to worry her – and was pleased to bump into her mother. She wanted to tell her about Angus’s visit – not everything, of course – but that he’d been, and read to the boys and been great, generally.
‘Hi, Mum! What are you doing? Not at work?’
‘No, not this morning. How are you? You’re looking amazing. Really well. Any particular reason for that?’
Lindy knew that her mother couldn’t possibly have any inkling about Angus but still felt embarrassed. ‘It’s probably because I’ve just had breakfast at Rachel’s – eating up the leftovers.’ She went on to explain about Beth’s mother and Rachel’s new-found passion to be a bed-and-breakfast hostess. ‘I just wanted to tell you that Angus came round last night.’
‘Did he? Any particular reason?’
‘He was just passing but he was so nice. He read to the boys, and probably because he was there, they were good as gold!’
‘They can be good as gold,’ said Sarah.
‘Yes, but we both know they’re not always. I just hope Angus always has that effect on them.’
Sarah laughed. ‘Yes. Too much to hope the change is permanent.’ Her mother regarded her thoughtfully. ‘Angus is a nice chap. Not at all like his brother.’
Why had she told her mother about his visit? Because she’d thought it would be a good thing to keep it all normal and in case the boys mentioned it, but it had only encouraged her mother further. ‘I’d better rush, Mum. I’ve got some curtains to finish. I got a bit behind with everything, what with the wedding and all, and I want to get Mrs Jenkins’s done before it all starts again. The bride is about to descend. And apparently she’s coming round to her mother’s way of thinking about how a wedding should be. I hope it doesn’t mean she’s turning into a Bridezilla. And I also hope that means she won’t want me to make the dress.’
Her mother frowned. ‘But I thought she wanted you to do it all for her on the cheap?’
Lindy shrugged. ‘I’m not sure that’s still the case. Now her mother’s around the budget will probably change. They still need us to co-ordinate it all, sort out the food, the flowers, all those things.’
‘Weddings were simpler in my day,’ said Sarah.
‘I know! Anyway, I must go. See you at the quiz?’
‘Oh yes. And do bring the girls. We need as much support and as many teams as possible. Lots of people will just turn up and make teams on the night.’ She made a face. ‘Such a shame Angus can’t make it. He left a message on my phone. He was very apologetic about it.’
This was a blow. ‘Really? But Dad’s really good at general knowledge. We’ll be OK.’ Somehow she made her words sound casual, as if she didn’t care. ‘But I must go.’
She went to her house as fast as she decently could. She didn’t want to check her phone in the road, in case there was bad news on it. And if there was good news, she wanted to be at home to enjoy it.