A Walk in the Park (18 page)

Sometimes working in a jewelers broke your heart. Either in a good way or a bad way. Yesterday a young engaged couple had spent over an hour choosing a bracelet for the girl's mother; money was tight but they wanted to find her the perfect thank-you gift in return for all her help arranging their upcoming wedding. Torn between two, the couple had finally chosen the more expensive bracelet and decided to carry on cycling into work rather than buy a car. The boy said, “She's worth it though. She's the best mother-in-law anyone could wish for.” Then his fiancée had confided in Don and Lara that her mum had had a riding accident ten years ago and was now confined to a wheelchair. Lara had had to work hard to swallow the lump in her throat as, hand in hand, they left the shop.

And then there was the other kind of heartbreak, the kind that made her feel like a priest hearing confession from someone she wasn't allowed to punish.

“So you can do that, can you?” The man was in his late forties, red-faced, and full of bluster. The diamond ring he'd brought in was an almost flawless four-carat solitaire.

“You want us to remove the diamond and replace it with cubic zirconium.” Even if he hadn't looked like a pig in a too-tight suit, Lara knew she wouldn't have liked him. His temples were shiny with sweat, and his manner shifty beneath the brusque exterior. “We'd need proof, I'm afraid, that this ring belongs to you.”

“It's an heirloom from my side of the family, so I don't have a receipt for it. My wife's worn it for the last twenty years. But Mr. Temple's seen it before.” The man indicated Don, out in the back room. “She brought it in here to get it resized not long ago.”

Don came through, examined the ring, and nodded. “Yes, yes. Mrs. Barrowman, I remember. It's a beautiful ring.”

“I want you to sell the diamond for me. How much d'you reckon it'll fetch?”

“Thirty-five, possibly forty thousand,” said Don.

“Fine, do it.” The man pulled out a handkerchief and blotted his damp face. “Quick as you like. And my wife doesn't need to know about any of this, you understand. I told her the stone was loose, so she thinks you're replacing the claws.”

“But—”

“She'll get her ring back and she won't know any difference.”

“If that's what you want,” said Don, and the man's jaw tightened.

“If I didn't want it, I wouldn't be here, would I? Just sort it out. I'll give you my bank details so you can transfer the money into my account as soon as it's done.”

“These things happen in this business,” said Don when the man had left. “You know that.”

“But his poor wife. It's such a horrible thing to do to her.”

“It might not be. He might hate the fact that he's having to do it. She could have cancer and it's the only way he can raise the money for her treatment.”

Which would be preferable—to have cancer and a loving husband prepared to do anything he could to help? Or no cancer and a husband who was a complete bastard?

“You're such an optimist,” said Lara.

“Or their son's in terrible trouble and he can't bear for his wife to find out, the shock would kill her, but this way maybe they can sort it out and she'll never need to know.”

“OK, optimism's one thing. Now you're deluded.”

“You mustn't automatically think the worst of a person.” Don pointed out of the window. “For instance, some people might look at that fellow across the street there and assume he was some kind of drug-dealing gangster, but I'd like to think he's worked hard for that fancy car of his.”

Over the road, a skinny, pasty-skinned, tattooed man in jeans and a T-shirt was climbing out of a red Lamborghini parked on double yellows.

Lara said, “He has a face for
Crimewatch
. Look at that scar on his cheek.”

As they watched, the man dived into the greengrocers, emerging thirty seconds later with a cauliflower and a bag of leeks.

“See? He's just normal.” Don nodded, satisfied with his judgment.

“Even drugs barons need their five a day,” said Lara as the Lamborghini roared back to life and went screeching off up the road, scattering tourists in its wake.

“Appearances can be deceptive.” The next moment Don paled visibly and gasped, “Oh dear God, they've got guns, don't let them in, press the panic button… PRESS IT…”

The light through the glass door had been temporarily blocked out by the twin man-mountains that were Maz and AJ peering in. Maz was clutching something long and narrow, rolled up in a plastic bag. Behind him, waiting for the shop to be declared safe to enter, Enjay was wearing a beanie hat and mirrored shades.

“It's OK, don't worry, it's Enjay and his minders.” Lara hurriedly pulled out a chair and helped Don onto it before he could collapse in a gray heap on the floor. So much for first impressions. She buzzed the door open and they pushed their way in.

“Hi, this is Don. You frightened the living daylights out of him.”

“Oh sorry. Did you think we was gonna rob you?” Maz saw them looking at the wrapped-up shotgun clasped in his enormous hand and said apologetically, “My momma always tells me off for lookin' scary. Don' worry, it ain't a gun.” He unwrapped the package to show them. “Weather forecast was sayin' it might rain later so Enjay wanted to buy an umbrella. He don' like his hair gettin' all wet.”

“Doesn't he? Me neither. Nightmare!” Fanning himself and recovering from the shock, Don said slightly hysterically, “Nightmare on York Street! Sorry, still a bit out of breath, I have a heart condition. Seeing all of you out there put the willies right up me!”

“
What?
” The camp manner and unfortunate choice of words caused Enjay to freeze.

“It's a British saying, means scaring someone.” Lara broke the stunned silence. “Anyway, lovely to see you. Where's Harry?”

“Just picking something up in Beaches. He'll be along in a minute. OK if we film in here?” Enjay indicated the camcorder AJ was taking out of its case. “We thought it would make a good piece for the show.”

“Oh, now that
does
sound like fun!” Don instantly perked up. “Lara was telling me all about this TV series of yours.”

Lara said, “Here's Harry now,” and buzzed open the door.

“Hello. Sure you're all right with this?” Harry greeted her with a polite kiss on the cheek before turning to Don and holding out his arm for a handshake.

“Hello, good to meet you, I'm Harry. I see we're going to be filming.” As he said it, the camcorder began to whir. “I know it's all a bit of a faff but we won't bother you for too long, I promise. Enjay wants an earring, that's all. As soon as he's got it, we'll be out of your hair.”

“A bit of a
faff
,” Enjay repeated in the background, mimicking his
über
-British accent.

“I don't mind at all.” Don looked slightly taken aback. “
An
earring, you say?”

Harry shook his head. “I know, can you believe it? And he's a grown man too. I've told him it's utterly ridiculous but what can you do? This is what he's like.”

“Hey, man, earrings are cool. Oh Jesus, what have you been buying? What is
this
place?” Whisking the lightweight shopping bag from Harry's grasp, Enjay peered at the lettering on the side. “BHS?”

“I told you that was where I was going. You just don't pay attention, that's your trouble. You're like a three-year-old,” said Harry.

“Bee-aiche-ess. I figured it was your upper-class way of saying Beaches. I thought it must be some fancy designer store I hadn't heard of.”

“It is,” Harry objected. “They're incredibly good value.”

“Trust me, Harry, this bag ain't from no designer store. Oh my, and look what you picked up for yourself.” Enjay had pulled the cellophane packets of underpants out of the shopping bag and was now gazing at them in utter bafflement. “Are you serious?”

“There were holes in my old ones. I needed some new pairs. These are comfortable and they fit well. Plus they're very cheap.”

“You're telling me.” Enjay was now waving them in front of the camera. “Look, look at them!”

“They're underpants,” Harry said patiently. “They don't have to have the wow factor. No one's going to see them.” His gaze dropped to the waistband of the Calvin Kleins visible above Enjay's perilously low-slung jeans. “Unlike you, I prefer not to parade my underwear to the nation.”

“I'm sure the nation will be very happy to hear that,” Enjay retaliated with a mock brow-wipe of relief.

This was the double act they had formed, ridiculing each other's differences without malice. Lara said, “What kind of earring are you looking for?”

Enjay flashed his vampire-toothed grin. “Hey, a diamond. Is there any other kind?”

“And size-wise?”

“The usual, I'd imagine.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Easy to spot from outer space.”

Enjay said, “If you're gonna have a diamond, have a big one. Right, Maz?”

Maz nodded in agreement; it was part of his job description. “Right, boss.”

“Show me what you got,” Enjay instructed Lara.

“Well, for a start, we only sell earrings in pairs. So if you want a single one we'll need to have it made.”

“No, no, no.” Being made to wait for anything was clearly out of the question; it simply didn't feature in a superstar's world. “I want it straight away.”

“Then you'll have to go to another jewelers.” Next to her, Don let out a whimper of anxiety. Lara continued smoothly, “But what our customers usually do is buy the pair, then they have a spare if they ever need it.”

“Why would I want a spare?”

“OK, or you could give the other one to a friend as a present.”

Aware of the camcorder trained on him, Enjay broke into a slow smile and turned to Harry. “Now that's a cool idea. How about it, man?”

Harry looked as if he'd swallowed a wasp. “Oh please, don't even think it. Earrings are for girls.”

“Hey, man, I wear an earring and I ain't no girl. Come on,” he wheedled, “you might like it.”

“I'm not having my ear pierced. Ever,” Harry said with an emphatic shudder of revulsion.

“Not even if it gives you an air of glamour?”

“I think you'll find it would give me an air of idiocy. But it's AJ's birthday next week. Maybe he'd like an earring.”

Maz took over the camcorder and trained it on AJ, whose face had lit up. Despite Enjay calling him bro, Lara had only realized last night that the two of them were actually brothers.

“Hey, bro, you want an earring?”

“Yeah, man.” Seven inches taller, ninety pounds heavier, and five years younger, AJ was a gentle giant with an engaging, growly teddy-bear voice and a slight lisp.

“Perfect. Right.” Lara unlocked the case with a flourish. “Let's show you what we have!”

“And crystal?”

“Sorry?”
Crystal? What, the Austrian kind?
Lara hesitated; was Enjay saying he didn't want actual diamonds after all?

“Or another kind if you don't have crystal.”

OK, awkward moment, especially as AJ was now looking forward to his birthday present…

“Got it,” Harry said suddenly. “He means champagne.”

Cristal…

“Of course I mean champagne, man.” Mystified, Enjay said, “What else would I be talking about? I always get offered a drink when I'm buying watches and jewelry.”

“I bet you do.” Lara envisaged the sales assistants in the stores on Rodeo Drive employing every trick in the book to part the superrich from their millions. “But we don't do that here.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's like cheating. We prefer to sell to customers when they have a clear head. You could have a cup of tea if you like.”

“Oh,
super
idea.” Harry brightened. “I'd love a cup of tea.”

“Me too,” said Maz.

“I'll pop the kettle on.” Don jumped up, eager to please. “Sugar, boys, or are you sweet enough?”

Enjay raised a
he's-a-homosexual
eyebrow at Lara.

Maz the man-mountain said in his growly lisp, “I'll have two Splendas please.”

***

The tea was made, the various earrings were examined, and Don, by this time thoroughly excited by his new celebrity client, came over all Shirley Bassey and launched into an enthusiastic chorus of “Diamonds Are Forever.”

“Welcome to England,” said Enjay, directly to camera. “And we thought people in California were weird. Let me tell you, they have nothing on the crazy folks over here.” He flashed a grin and adopted his Harry voice. “This lot take the absolute biscuit.”

The brothers finally settled on a pair of brilliant cut studs totaling seven point four carats. Any larger, Lara explained, and the weight of the stone would pull the earring down at an angle; it might also stretch the lobe.

Plus, they didn't have any bigger earrings in stock.

Enjay paid the eye-watering amount with his Platinum Amex, only flinching when Don clasped his hand and gushed that it had been
heavenly
to meet him.

“Once you realized we weren't badass robbers, come to blast open the safe and clean out your store,” he drawled.

Don's spiky hair quivered. “Sorry about that. And you've been so charming. I'm going to rush out and buy all your records, you know. And I'll be telling everyone how wonderful you are.” He stopped abruptly as Lara elbowed him in the side. “Right, sorry. Let me wrap these for you.”

“No need, we'll wear 'em now.” Looking relieved to have his hand back, Enjay surreptitiously wiped the palm on the side of his jeans. He turned to Lara. “So, did your daughter enjoy the spa baths with me last night? Did she tell you she had a good time?”

“She did. She also said you're too old for her.”

Enjay raised an eyebrow and he leaned across the counter toward her. “Has it occurred to you that she might be too young for me? Maybe I prefer the older lady.”

Erk, was this a come-on? Lara said, “You want to try the tearooms over by the abbey. Plenty of old ladies for you there.”

The wicked, wolfish, all-conquering smile was back. “Hey, you know perfectly well what I'm saying.” Moving closer, he murmured in her ear, “What are you, thirty-five? If you ask me, that's just about perfect.”

This was a man with way too many hormones for his own good. He was unstoppable. “You're not my type,” said Lara.

“Ah, she says that now.” Enjay straightened up and addressed his audience. “But wait until later when the cameras are off. We all know what's going to happen.”

Maz had the camcorder trained on them. Lara gave him a good-natured eye-roll and said, “Good luck with trying,” guessing as she did so that it would be edited out of the exchange. This was Enjay's show; he reveled in his reputation as a Lothario, rejections would be few and far between and he certainly wouldn't publicize them.

Harry was reading her mind. “Just ignore him, he's like it with everyone.”

“I know.”

“Excuse me.” Enjay jerked his head in the direction of Don, who was fussily polishing away the fingerprints on the glass-topped cabinet. “Not
everyone
.”

Oblivious, Don launched back into, “Diamonds are foreverrrrrrr…”

“Hey, AJ, call the club and make sure we got the VIP room.” With his new diamond earring installed and the mirrored shades back in place, Enjay was once again admiring his reflection in the mirror. “Oh, man, I am in the mood for some serious action tonight.”

He'd already announced they were heading up to London to check out the newest, coolest nightclub. Lara looked at Harry and said, “If he's doing that, d'you want to come over for something to eat? We could have a game of Scrabble.” She wasn't so wild about it herself, but Harry loved Scrabble and so did Evie.

“Thanks, but I have to go with this crew. Enjay thinks it'll be just hilarious to film me in a nightclub.”

“Hey, man, I don't think. I
know
.”

“He also thinks I'm going to dance.” Harry suppressed a shudder. “He couldn't be more wrong.”

Enjay said, “I'll pay you extra to dance.”

“There isn't enough money in the world,” said Harry. “I'm going to be taking a book along with me to pass the time.”

As they left the shop, Don shook everyone's hand again and Lara observed Enjay's discomfort. Following them out onto the pavement, she took him to one side and murmured, “I saw that. If Don noticed, he'd find it quite hurtful.”

Unused to criticism, Enjay stiffened. “I know, but I can't help it. Creeps me out, man.”

“I can see that. And please don't call me man.”

He raised his shades and fixed her with a playful gaze. “Sorry. Lah-rah.”

His attempt at mimicking the British accent was as over-the-top as ever. Lara said, “I'll tell you something else. You think Don's gay. But he isn't.”

“Don't give me that.”

“It's the truth. He told me.”

“He's lying.” Enjay was visibly losing interest in the conversation. The next moment, without warning, he snaked an arm around her shoulder and kissed her full on the mouth. Out on the pavement, for heaven's sake, where everyone could see them.

Lara pulled away and shook her head. “You're a nightmare.”

“Just a bit of fun, babe. Doing my bit to brighten your day.”

“Those earrings we just sold you? Thanks to them, my day's already bright enough. And Don
isn't
gay.” She needed him to know. “I thought he was too, but he's really not.”

Enjay's lip curled. “Fine, if you say so. But he still creeps me out.”