A Walk In The Wilderness (30 page)

     Caitlin felt her heart breaking inside her.  How could he sit and sing this way to her, if he didn’t mean it?  Was it just a song he knew, or was he singing it to her? 

     She was petrified.  She didn’t know what to do.  To look at him would give away all that she felt for him.  Yet, would David really sing this plaintive, sweet love song when he was alone with her, if he didn’t mean it?  Would he be that unkind?  Would he so risk being misunderstood?  She couldn’t believe that of him, and yet she was too terrified to consider that he might just actually be singing it to her, with a purpose.

     The piano sounds drifted off into silence, and they sat there for a moment.  She felt that he was waiting, expecting something from her.  She couldn’t lift her eyes, but she tried to smile.  “How very beautiful.”  she whispered. 

      “Can you imagine dancing to that music?”  he asked softly.

      “Oh, of course.  It was divine.”  she answered.

     “Come then, and show me how it would go.”  he suggested.  He stood up, and held a hand to her.  She took it and followed him without looking up.

     She thought that she would die when he pulled her into his arms and held her close, humming the melody.  His hand put her head against his shoulder and stroked her hair, as he held it there. 

     “I think it works well, don’t you?”  he asked against her hair.

     “Quite.”  she answered desperately.

   David lifted her chin, and forced her to look up into his eyes.  She was frightened.  She knew that she couldn’t hide from him anymore.  He was going to see that she loved him, and suddenly she didn’t care.  If he pitied her, then she’d just go home.  That’s all there was to it.

     He looked into her eyes quizzically, and turned up a corner of his mouth.  “You still don’t know what to think, do you?”  he accused her softly.

       She blinked and searched his eyes frantically.  “David,”  she objected.

      “What?” he challenged.  He could feel her heart pounding.  He could see the vein in her neck pulsing.  He smiled and chuckled softly to see the desperation and desire in her eyes.

     “I … I can’t.” she gasped, her eyes closing on tears.  She closed her lips, but they were trembling.

      “What?” he demanded, warmly.

     She closed her eyes and shook her head in abject misery. “I can’t do this.” she tried to explain.

   “Do what?  Caitie, we’ve done nothing.” he laughed mirthlessly.  “I’ve restrained myself so many thousands of times that I relive it in my sleep.  I can hardly believe that you are putting on the skids, and I’ve done nothing but sing a song and ask you to dance with me.  Please, explain to me.   Exactly what is that you cannot do?   And pray, be ready to explain why, because that will most undoubtedly be my next question.”

    Tears choked her throat.  “I can’t be so … close to you, like this.” she managed to get out.

      He tipped his head and looked at her suspiciously, but he did not release his hold on her slender arms.  “Why not, darling?” he prodded.

     She gasped at the endearment, and cringed.  “Don’t!” she begged.  “It’s … too difficult for me.”

      “Why?” he persisted.

    She hung her head and sighed.  The million dollar question.  “Why?” she echoed lamely.  Finally, she turned tear-filled eyes to his.  “Because I’ve broken all the rules, David, and I can’t go on anymore.  I don’t … I can’t … work for you.  I can’t live here.  I can’t sit with you at the piano, and dance with you, and go with you to Paris.”

    He looked worried, and intrigued.  “What in the world can you mean?” he asked in a low voice.

     “I can’t be a good employee anymore.  Can’t we just leave it at that?”

    “No, I don’t think so.  Why can’t you be a good employee?  Just what rules have you broken?”

      She shook her head, terrified.  Then it had come to this.  She may as well tell him.  “I … can’t be objective.  I’ve tried.  I just can’t help it.  I guess I may be impressionable, David, but I can’t help it.  You’re a very wonderful man, and I … well, I’m just a foolish girl.  I will need to find another position, that’s all.”

     David looked down at her thoughtfully, a smile lurking about his lips.  “Caitlin.  I do hope you’re not planning to be difficult again.  I had a very difficult time with you in Sterling, and I’m not going to do it again.”

     His fingers lifted her chin, forcing her to lift her dewy eyes to his.  “I can’t even think of letting you go.  Now, or at any time in the future.  If you have a problem with that, you’ll have to do a much better job of convincing me that you mean it.” he warned.

    Caitlin’s brow wrinkled, and her breath caught in her throat.  “What can you mean?” she gasped, nothing more than a whisper.

    “You should have gone long ago, if you meant to.”  he explained, as though she were a child.  “Long before Paris, long before tonight.  Now, I guarantee you, you’ll be in for the fight of your life.”

     “But …” she stammered.

    “No.”  he denied immediately.  He shook his head at her in wonder.  “I can’t believe you give me no more credit than you do.  To think what you think of me.  To say you’d go, and never even ask me first what I want.”

     She cried as if he’d struck her a blow, and pulled her face from his hand.  Her shoulders shook with sobs she couldn’t control.

     “What, Caitie?  Why won’t you let me tell you?” he whispered in agony.  “You won’t answer me, and you can’t listen?  Damn it, you will!”  he ground out through his teeth.  “I have nothing to lose.”  he growled.

     His hand caught her soft hair and pulled her head back, so that her face was turned up to his.  His mouth caught hers and he kissed her, searing her with his anger and desperation, his passion and hunger.  His arms molded her against his body so that she couldn’t tell where he ended and she began.  He plundered her savagely, hungrily, and took what he’d been dying for. 

    Tasting her lips, he discovered, only made him more hungry for the sweetness they offered.  Feeling her body yielding to his only fanned the fire.  He groaned and sighed, and tasted her again.  Though it was torment, he couldn’t stay away, anymore.  He had to try to satisfy the demand within him.  The dam had broken, and he had to taste her again, and again.

     Caitlin was in shock.  She was delirious with desire, with hope and confusion.  She could hardly believe that David was doing this, that David had her so crushed against his hardness, kissing her as though life itself came from her lips.

    Slowly, she worked her arms free, and let them wind around his neck.  And she kissed him back, held his head and neck to her with such strength and passion.  She kissed him back so fervently that soon, both their knees were weak and they sagged to the floor without breaking a beat.

     And David was on her, his weight held with elbows, but heavy and ardent, just the same. 

     “Caitlin.” he whispered raggedly.  “Tell me that you love me.  Tell me I’m not wrong.  Please.” he begged.

      “Oh, David.”  she cried brokenly.  “I do.  I love you so much.”

     He laughed and plundered her lips again.  “Tell me again that you’re leaving.    Will you tell me that, now?” he threatened, tasting her jaw, her ear, the throbbing column of her neck.

    “No.”  she denied.  “No, I’ll never say it again, if you truly want me.” she denied.

     He laughed, deep in his chest.  “You’d better not, vixen.” he warned.  “Forgive me my lack of manners, but I’ve nearly lost my mind.  I’m afraid I’ve got to the point where I’ll take what I want, and ask if it’s all right after.”  he growled.  “You’re like a drug, Caitlin, and I’m hopelessly addicted.  I do love you, and I can’t get enough.  I’ll have you in my bed and satisfy myself with you, from now until the end of time.  It’s far too late for you to raise objections, my love.”

     Caitlin gasped, and balked just a mite at the forceful words.   Could this truly be David?

    “And yet,” he hedged, “I can’t deny that I’d do anything for you. Tell me to stop, Caitlin, or I’ll do what I shouldn’t.”

   Caitlin’s hand caressed his soft length of hair, and came to rest on his shoulder.  “Perhaps you really should … let me up.”  she agreed in a shaky voice.

    David stood, and held a reluctant hand to her.  She took it and met his burning eyes fearfully.

    “Thank you.”  she said in a small voice.  She felt shaky and bereft, without his heat and weight to hold her together.

     His eyes were boring into her, with passion unleashed, yet unsatisfied.  “Don’t you know that you won a long time ago?”  he accused.  His eyes softened and raked her affectionately.

      “I did?” she asked breathlessly.

   “You undid all my buttons; and made sure you didn’t stop until I was completely unwound.”  he accused.  “Now, I fear, you’ll have to endure a few lapses in etiquette, my darling.  The wolf has come out, and I can’t quite manage him, just now.”  he chuckled.  “Tell me now, Cait, if you don’t want me.  And be quick about it.”

     She merely looked up at him with her great, soft eyes, and stroked his cheek with a hand so tender.

     He looked down at her with great satisfaction as he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her again.  Caitlin almost collapsed in his arms as his lips caressed hers.  He went carefully for a moment, but he intended to leave no doubt in her mind before he was finished.  He went deeper, and was gratified to hear her moan.  He picked her up and carried her to the settee.

    When he laid her on it, her arms went around his neck and he pressed in, nearly drowning in the sweetness of the taste of her.  He ached with passion.  He wanted all of her.  He’d waited so long, and now … now he couldn’t seem to stop.  He moved his lips to her neck, her soft shoulders, and she gasped in agony.

    When her mouth sought his, and she kissed him -- it sent shock waves through David that he wasn’t certain he could control.  The feel of her body pressed against his, was sweet torture.  He had desired her for so long.  He’d held himself in check so many times. 

    Her mouth on his neck sent the blood rocketing through his veins.  It took everything he had within him, to pull away and break the embrace.  If he didn’t, he knew he’d just give in.

     He stood up; and she sat up on the settee, her eyes begging him not to stop.  He sighed and shook his head.  “I can’t take anymore, Caitie.  You’ve got me too raw and hungry.”

      She looked disappointed, but she sighed blissfully.

     He smiled down at her, and slowly dropped to his knees  before her.  “Caitie, I love you.  Will you please marry me?” he asked earnestly, looking up into her eyes.  He had her hands in his, and he waited.

     Tears welled up in Caitlin’s eyes.  She could not believe this was happening.  She stared at him in disbelief, and helplessly let the tears spill. “Oh, David.  Do you really mean it?” she asked brokenly.

      “Of course, I mean it.”  he assured her, searching her eyes.  “You drive me to distraction.  I’ve been mad about you since the day we met.  I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

     She laughed and looked to the heavens.  “Oh, my.  David, I can’t believe it.  Yes, yes.  Yes!”  she answered, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

    David closed his eyes, and sighed with relief.  His arms went around the beautiful girl tightly.  He found that his face was pressed against the softness of her breasts, and he closed his eyes.  Temptation was knocking, big time.  He let her hold him for a few moments, and then he pulled away.

     He sat on the settee beside her, and grinned.  “One last favor.”  he requested.

   Caitlin tried to stifle her tears of happiness, and gave him her attention.  “Anything.”  she promised sweetly.

     He chuckled at that, and shook his head.  “Just be ready when I come home from Ireland.  Don’t make me wait, Caitie.  I don’t think I can.”  He looked at her steadily, measuring the reaction in her eyes.

      “When … when will that be?”  she asked breathlessly.

      “I’ll be there for four weeks.”  he advised quietly.  “When I come home, I want a day to rest, and then I want my wife.  In my arms, and in my bed.”

      Caitlin gasped and closed her eyes.  Embarrassment stained her cheeks as she absorbed what he was saying.

      “Is that all right with you?” he asked pointedly.

      She just nodded, and he laughed.  “Good.”  he said firmly. 

      “I’d be satisfied with today.”  she assured him.

      He laughed.  “Me, too.  But I don't think that Mother could switch gears that quickly.”

     “I don’t know.”  Caitlin chuckled.  “But it wouldn’t be practical.  I’ll be ready when you come home.”  she promised. 

     He looked at the stars in her eyes, and smiled.  “That will make me very happy.”  he assured her.

      Caitlin looked up at him with such happiness and joy and love filling her heart that she simply couldn’t contain it.  “Oh, David.  I love you so much.”  she said quietly.  “I was afraid that I was fooling myself to think that you’d ever look twice at me.”

     His eyes darkened and became serious.  “Caitie, darling, I look twice at you every minute of every day.  I fell in love with you when Skyler sent you tumbling into my arms that night.  Just the fragrance of your hair, the feel of you in my arms, and I was undone.”

     She stared at him as though unable to comprehend it.

    “I knew immediately that life was going to be very bleak if I couldn’t win your heart, darling.  So, please.  Do me this honor, and wear my ring.”

     Caitlin looked at the ring box that he held to her, and then raised her eyes to his. 

     “Please.”  he asked again, pointedly.

    She took it from him with trembling fingers, and opened it.  She had to close her eyes to keep the tears from spilling.  It was exquisite, a central diamond surrounded by fiery rubies.  It was very large, and very fine.