A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) (39 page)

I should ask myself was the entire
heart ache worth it? After seeing what we have now? Well truth be told what we have now is an illicit affair, manifested by a few stolen moment that I don’t feel guilt or remorse for. I know Tristan loves me, he makes love to me and has fucked me into oblivion, just thinking about him and I want him so, but he is a handful, and I don’t want to get hurt anymore.

And if I am going to sum them up
Ian, my high school crush, the guy who knows I’m smart but plays dumb, he sees me, he took my virginity only when it was right, well we waited all this time we should have waited until we married, maybe I wouldn’t have gone so gentle into Mr. Bach’s good night…hmm I don’t know about that. So I got a Cartier ring and he got to fuck me, like Erika said I was more excited about the ring, leave it to Erika bring it back to dollars and me with no sense.

I use to be so mean to Ian as I recall, he didn’t deserve that
, but the way I was I wasn’t good for anyone. When Ian left and took a job overseas, I guess I finally had enough, I stopped taking Tristan’s bullshit, I got off the grid, changed my whole life to get away from Tristan Bach, and now I am facing the two men from my past who have come back to stake their claim.

O
ne who is my first love, the other is my best friend who loves me with all his heart. I look over at Ian as he reaches for me in his sleep, I run my finger through his hair and put my head on his chest, and he holds me tight in his sleep I am such a bad fiancée I don’t deserve him. I am guilty as sin and lack redemption.

I gotta get some sleep. It’s two am. 

Chapter 20

CAUGHT A TOUCH OF YOUR LOVE

June 20, 2012

It’s seven-thirty and I am awaken by kisses, my eyes flutter open, Ian has brought me coffee and juice.

“Good morning sweetheart”

“Good morning Ian” I say shyly

“I have to get going, are you ok?”

“Yes sure I just have a lot on my mind”

“What time did you get in last night?”

“Oh it was midnight or so”

I take a sip of my coffee, he is smiling at me lovingly, I don’t deserve him.

“I just wanted to see you before I go, I know you are busy with the fashion show will I see you

This evening
?”

“I don’t know Ian, I’ll let you know how things
are going. It’s just a crazy time now.”

“Well look at
it this way after the wedding we have two weeks to ourselves on our honeymoon in Italy”

I choke on my coffee

“Are you ok”

“Yes, what’s the time?

“I gotta go, Aria I love you, stay safe I will talk to you later”

“Ok have a good day at school
”

He kisses me again,

“Have I told you how lucky I am?”

“We
are both are pretty damn lucky, now go or I’ll have to write you a note for being late for school”

He laughs as he winks at me and walks out the door.

I take a moment to sit and drink me coffee, I have so much to think about, I have so much to sort out and I have done nothing but have mad-sex with my ex.

Wow this time last week I was so sure of my future, I was so sure of my direction, and now there is a fork in the
road, is it a sign from above? Or a temptations from the unthinkable? Why do I have to marry anyway? I’m very self-reliant, I am a workaholic in my late thirties and I am happy, content, I just know that men make women messy and I need to figure out whose mess I want to be in? And on that note someone is calling?

BATMAN, BATMAN, BATMAN

“Hello”

“
I just called to say I love you!”

“How very 10
th
grade of you!”

“Glad to hear you remember our song”

“You got the eighties music on the brain professor Bollinger you sang this song to me on the phone the night you left for vacation with your family”

“Oh how you remember so well,
I’ve missed you this week, we need to make time for one another, and not let anything get bigger than us, look I gotta go I will call you later I love you Aria”

“
Love you too Ian”

Wow so he does sense my distance, but didn’t go
crazy-nuts-o-bananas-on me
. maybe Ian won’t react the way he use to…who am I kidding if I tell him what the fuck I have been doing we are done, finished, over, kaput, after saying that I still don’t know what I want, why is all of this happening now? All I ever wanted I finally have in front of me on a platter and I can’t decide, and sometimes I feel like I don’t want any of it, but that is me I would rather walk away then face the music and deal with the matters at hand. Maybe I said yes too quickly? Maybe all of this isn’t for me. Gosh will Ian really go nuts on me like he use to?  I don’t know if I can take that again, he can be pretty cruel, but then again look what I did, look what I’m doing. Memories flood my mind of how he reacted towards me before and we weren’t even together, jeez what the hell
am
I doing?

I’m
having the best sex of my life! I’m engaged to one man and fucking another! I need help, serious help like I gotta bring in the girls on this one, Sabrina, who is one of my dearest friends from high school is a child psychologist she knows how to deal with adolescence behavior need I say more I am acting like a teenager, shit shit shit I need to get this all sorted out.

Ian
is so sweet and honest, he is just not a clingy person, whereas Tristan always enraptures me, and overwhelms me and the illicit sex is pretty amazing, how did this all go from Ian to Tristan, I gotta get a grip.

Make note to calls the girls I think I need an intervention
! That and maybe get hypnotized so I don’t remember Tristan Bach. No I think I would still miss him, shit I do miss him. How the hell did I become a mistress, his
inamorata
, Tristan’s girl on the side? I know Erika she will say I need to call a priest and get an exorcism because whenever I am around Tristan heads will roll.

I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, brown eyes that ho
ld a secret, illicit sex, lips that burn for another man, the reflection staring me in the face is not the girl that Ian proposed to, in less than a week the
goody-two shoes
that Ian has fallen for has morphed into Tristan’s lover a slightly arrogant wanton thing who comes on demand.

I
f I keep sleeping with Tristan I will lose Ian, but I don’t have to be Tristan’s either. Maybe that’s it? Maybe I don’t really want to get married? I have never wanted to ever marry until Tristan and I began talking and he put it in my head, I saw it all with him, a family, a future it was all so clear, but I never thought he would chase after my dream, do I owe him the rest of my life because he made my dreams a reality? Do I owe Ian my love and devotion because he has loved me for twenty years?

Too much to deal with
, see why I am terrible at relationships, I am hopeless, how the hell did I get in so deep?
Caught a touch of their love
in so deep that trouble looms, but duty calls I have to go be a grown-up right now and take care of
Business as Usual.

After a nice hot shower I clear my head and
finish my third cup of coffee, I get dressed and head out to the store, I am wearing my aubergine Louie Vuitton satin dress with a flirty peplum I don the matching satin bra and tiniest panties that complete the dress, the finishing touch are the matching aubergine Louie Vuitton satin pumps that kiss my feet in a very sexy way.

I am going to tread
lightly as I take on this day. I jump in my Cadillac and I am at the store in no time at all.

We
have models coming in and out all day for fittings, and dress rehearsal as well as the program director whom I have never met before a lady name Samantha Winter, I have never met her she is from the promotions department here at Tower Centre she is super thin, I would say a zero is big on her, she has fried dish water blond hair and is dressed entirely in black from her too tight jeans that look very unprofessional to her black boyfriend jacket and tight black t shirt. She is running over things with Oliver as the models are trying on looks.

“Oh you are here thank
God” Oliver says with a heavy sigh of relief.

“Hello there Oliver, how are things going?”

“You have not met Samantha Winter yet have you?”

“Um no I have not had the pleasure”

“Samantha this is Aria Macy my partner” we shake hands and she is cold and stares me down, a chill runs through me as our hands touch.

“How do you do?” she is very strange like we hav
e met before but I have heard of her but have never laid eyes on her till today.

“I’m goo
d thank you, you?” just a strange feeling I get, she seems very strange.

“So Aria how long have you had this place” that is a strange question doesn’t she work for
Tower Centre? It’s all on record.

“A little over two years, how long have you been here at Tower Centre?”

“A few months, I took over for Julia Chaucer she left to have her baby”

“I see, so how are things coming along?”

“We are going to need a list of all the items that you are donating to the silent auction and this needs to be in to me by five this evening so the printers can have the brochures done”

“Yes I will have it all to you right now if you will excuse me” she is cocky and arrogant and I don’t like
her for some reason she is a bit trashy around the edges and she is challenging my efficiency, that is annoying. I can tell I am not her favorite person either by her demeanor as well as her lackluster for what we do here. I return with a list printed out in a folder I hand it to her.

“Here you go Mrs. Winter”

“No that is Miss Winter Miss Macy”

“Oh sure of course
, if we are done I have a million things to attend to”

“Yes that will be all” I stand with arms crossed as Miss Winter of my discontent exits my
store, I shudder as I try to shake her glare off of me.

“Oliver does that women strike you as strange or peculiar?”

“Do you know her?”

“No not at all just met her here today why”

“She way asking a lot of questions about you and this store and when we opened the doors and who our cliental are, I don’t know, she was highly annoying and not in a good way”

“Yeah I know what you mean Oliver she just rubbed me the wrong way”

“Oh well let’s just thank goodness we don’t have to deal with her on any ongoing basis”

“
You’re right my pet you are always right, so what is going on here?” Oliver hands me the photos of the looks that he put together and he nailed it, we have formal, fun, work, our tux accessories and our ties are all featured and in the program for Thursday.

I don’t mind doing all of this because once we get our teeth into it, it is so much fun putting a fashion show together.
Oliver has been the best, we got through the to-do list in no time flat.

At four pm there is
a delivery of Flowers in a glass Martini pitcher. My heart sinks I don’t know who I want them to be from…gosh I am so in over my head here, I’m engaged there shouldn’t be a choice who the damn flowers are from Aria.

The card is white with script writing on it in silver ink:

__________
__________________

Aria

JUST A REMINDER ABOUT OUR DATE

SATURDAY ST. PATRICKS CHURCH

ONE O’CLOCK p.m.

I’LL BE THE ONE IN THE TUX

WAITING FOR YOU AT THE ALTAR

Your fiancé

Ian

____________________________________

“Wow extravagant professor”
Oliver eyes the flowers and looks very impressed.

“Two
dozen white roses in a Tiffany Martini Pitcher, it’s beautiful, I smell them and put them on the bar, I look at my watch is Ian in class still? Does he get a break between classes, shit these are things I should know!

These are things that I want to know, it hit me
right then and there I need to man up, we don’t always get what we want in this life, sometimes doing what is right is not what is popular, we make the best of what we are dealt. I look at the flowers as the fragrance fills the room, he can be romantic, he is kind and sweet and we just need to put in the time to make this work and I need to put a stop to my illicit affair because I am settling down.

I pull out my phone and I do
something I never do, I text Ian because I don’t know his schedule and I should, SHIT WE ARE GETTING MARRIED NEXT SATURDAY! For Christ sake it hits me like a bolt of lightning we need to communicate throughout the day this isn’t a merger it’s a marriage and I want it all with Ian. I JUST CAUGHT A TOUCH OF YOUR LOVE is playing on the watercolors station in the background of the store.