A Widow's Hope (31 page)

Hannah and Julia broke into peals of laughter. “Ah, to be young and in love,” Julia said. Hannah chose to continue reading:

I hitched a ride to the next two Sunday singings and asked her bruder for a ride home. What a good idea that turned out to be since Catherine has two bruders, which put me in the backseat with her. We talked all the way back.

Hannah glanced up at Julia’s happy face and winked.

We are courting, and unless I do something quite stupid between now and then, I will speak to her parents after the harvest. She is the answer to my prayers. And I think you will notice Catherine is a bit like you, sister.

Hannah gazed up at the ceiling. “Heaven help the poor girl. I hope Thomas is referring to eye color or her taste in cream pies, and not to her temperament.”

Julia plucked the letter from Hannah’s fingers to finish reading aloud:

I thank God for bringing me Catherine. And I thank Him for not one, but two wise sisters who’ve saved me from lonely bachelorhood.

Your brother,
Thomas

“A wedding before Christmas!” the two women said together. And Hannah felt her heart fill with hope for the second time in an hour.

“I shall sleep well tonight,” said Julia, struggling to her feet. Hannah jumped up to help her. “And please do not dwell on Simon’s harsh words. He is overtired from caring for me. This will all blow over and soon will be forgotten. You’ll see.”

Julia looked so earnest that Hannah merely smiled and nodded. She had no energy to argue even if someone had said the moon was made of milk chocolate. Her Scriptures, her prayers, and then deep, dreamless sleep were the only things she wanted.

Julia started up the steps while Hannah finished the last bites of the shoe–leather ham. “Oh, sister? I almost forgot…Seth was looking for you when he picked up Phoebe. He seemed eager to speak to you. Perhaps he’ll stop by tomorrow.”

Hannah smiled. Maybe her sleep wouldn’t be quite so dreamless after all.

W
hoever said “a woman’s work is never done” had never met a widowed father. Even before the rooster crowed, Seth had brewed his coffee, washed the dishes, and swept the kitchen floor. By the time the petulant bird marched from the henhouse, Seth had fed the horses, milked the cows, and gathered some eggs for breakfast. When Phoebe finally roused and came downstairs rubbing her eyes sleepily, he had ham and eggs spattering in the pan. A stack of toast, slathered with fresh peach preserves, waited on the table.

Phoebe glanced curiously around the tidy room and then up at him.

“Go get washed and dressed before breakfast,” Seth said. “And put on one of the pretty
kapp
s Hannah made for you. It’s time you start wearing them like Leah. You’re a big girl now.” As soon as the bathroom door closed behind her, Seth sprinted up the steps to her room. Throwing back the quilt, he felt the bottom sheet from one end of the bed to the other. Bone dry. She’d had no accidents, and no spiteful acts of rebellion either. He relaxed his tense shoulder muscles on the way downstairs. The situation at his brother’s probably stemmed from leaving her with Mrs. Lehman or with Julia too often. At home in her own bed, Phoebe had spent a peaceful night.

Seth poured milk for his daughter and refilled his coffee cup.
When Phoebe emerged from the bathroom in a pale green dress, her feet were bare but her head was covered with starched white muslin.

“
Guder mariye,
” he said. “Did you have sweet dreams?”

She nodded as she slipped into the opposite chair and reached for toast.

Seth pushed the stack closer and then slid some scrambled eggs and ham onto her plate and a greater portion onto his. “Eat hearty. You’ll need lots of strength today.”

Her two large brown eyes peered up through thick black lashes.

“
Jah,
you’ll be helping me today with chores. I’m not cutting hay yet; it still needs another day to dry. But we will weed the garden, clean the barn stalls, and gather more eggs to take to Aunt Julia’s and Aunt Hannah’s.”

Her bright and cheery face drooped at his mention of the names and then pinched up as though she were sucking on a lemon. Seth put down his fork and steeled his resolve. This wouldn’t get any easier the longer he waited. “Don’t you still like Aunt Julia and Aunt Hannah, Phoebe?”

Her dark head nodded yes.

“Did something happen at their house—maybe something with your cousins—that upset you?”

A slow lateral nod was her reply.

“Are you just tired of being apart from me…of being away from your
daed?
” Seth held his breath waiting for her answer. He didn’t have to wait for long.

Phoebe put down the slice of toast and ran to his side of the table. Crawling into his lap as she had when she was a toddler, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. “
Daed,
” she said.

One word. The same one she’d spoken yesterday, but it was worth a chest of gold to Seth. “My sweet Phoebe,” he whispered next to her ear. “I don’t like leaving you all the time, but I can’t take you to the fields with me. You could get hurt. Plus, there are too many bugs out
there, biting arms and necks. You wouldn’t like a nasty deerfly bite, would you?” He pinched her forearm to illustrate his point.

She giggled and reciprocated with her own arm pinching.

“But I promise to start spending more time with you. I know I’ve been working too hard, and my favorite job is being your pa.” He hugged her close while a lump rose in his throat that no amount of coffee could wash down. “Let’s finish our ham and eggs so we’ll have plenty of energy. Then we’ll gather our eggs and take them to Aunt Julia. She’s making dumplings today and needs extra eggs, but I’m not leaving you there. You’ll be gone from me soon enough when you start school in the fall. Do you think we can find enough to fill the whole basket?”

Phoebe offered an affirmative nod, looking pacified, at least for the moment.

The two finished their breakfasts sitting in the same chair. It might not have been the tidiest way to eat scrambled eggs, but Seth knew this precious time with his daughter was worth crumbs on the kitchen floor.

Seth was glad he’d heard Julia mention making chicken and dumplings for today’s supper. He needed an excuse to return to Simon’s farm so quickly. His little girl wasn’t the only thing weighing heavily on his heart this morning. Thinking about Hannah Brown and what he’d learned from Noah had kept him tossing and turning half the night.
Why didn’t she tell me about the threat of shunning?

If a man and woman had feelings for one another, they shouldn’t keep secrets. And he didn’t want to dwell on the conclusion that could be drawn from that.

When Hannah saw Seth’s mare trotting up the drive, her heart leaped within her chest. Hearing that he’d been looking for her last night eased some of the day’s troubles.
Life wasn’t meant to be paradise,
she thought.
Our trials, our sorrows, prepare us for what is to come.

“Hello, Seth; Hi, Phoebe,” she called as she set down the basket she’d been using to pick cherries. “A beautiful day, no? Not a rain cloud in sight. The fields should start to dry out and you’ll be able to cut hay.”

“
Jah,
two good days of sun oughta do it,” Seth said, tying his horse to the post. He reached for a covered basket from the backseat. “Phoebe, take these eggs to Aunt Julia and stay in the house for a while. I need to talk to Hannah, and then we’ll be going home to our chores.” He handed Phoebe the basket. “And don’t run with those eggs.” The order came at the precise moment the child broke into a gallop across the grass. She immediately slowed her pace to a walk.

Hannah gazed up into his cool eyes, which seemed oddly distant today. “Is something wrong, Seth? Julia said you were looking for me while I was out walking.”

“Can’t figure why a person needs to walk in the rain, especially when it’s getting dark, but that’s not really what I came by to ask about.”

Hannah felt the blood chill in her veins.

“I was wondering why you didn’t see fit to tell me ’bout the ministerial brethren stopping by to talk to you.” He looked at her without betraying an ounce of emotion.

“I had planned to. I was just picking the right time.” She knew how weak that sounded but couldn’t change the truth.

“You had two perfectly fine opportunities but didn’t say a word.”

“I chose not to discuss the matter at the fundraiser. Laura and Joshua had just announced their engagement and were so filled with joy that I didn’t want anything to dampen their high spirits.” Then she added in a softer voice, “Besides, I’d just met Laura, and I didn’t know Joshua at all. I guess I was reluctant to tell them.”

“If you hadn’t done anything shameful, you had no reason to feel that way.”

Hannah wished they could sit down so he didn’t loom so large over her. “But I apparently did do something wrong in the elders’
eyes. I had been quoting Scripture from unapproved books. Plus, Joshua is from a different district, and don’t forget, I’m still learning the
Ordnung
here.”

Seth slapped the leather reins against the hitching rail. “We rode home together from the supper, all alone. There was nobody from other districts then. And I saw you here at dinner the following evening.”

“I know,” she said. “You’re right. I was afraid to tell you.”

Seth looked genuinely confused. “Afraid of what, Hannah? You had already told me about your Bible study on the way back from Kidron. I didn’t jump off the fishing dock or give you a hard time about it.”

Hannah hung her head. He was right. She’d had chances to tell him that she didn’t take. She’d been afraid—of what he would say and of what it would do to their fledging relationship. But then again, did they have a relationship? One little kiss didn’t make them a courting couple. Seth was acting like he had a right to know her business.

“You’ve got no cause to get your feathers ruffled just because I was told to stop quoting Scripture.” Her tone betrayed the pique building in her veins. “When I was ten I had a willow switch taken to my backside for telling a fib—did you expect to hear about that too?”

Seth breathed in and out through his nostrils, reminding Hannah of an obstinate bull her family once took on loan from another farm. “They threatened you with shunning. Don’t you understand how serious that is? You and I…well, we wouldn’t be able to sit at table together or ride to Kidron…or anything else.” He crossed his arms over his starched white shirt, looking utterly handsome despite the fact the mood had turned sour.

Hannah crossed her arms too and stared at the cows beyond his shoulder. They were contentedly chewing their cud in the tall grass.
How much nicer to be bovine, without the rules, expectations, and responsibilities of life.

“I understand the significance of their warning. If shunned, I would be an outcast, banned from the district I had hoped to become part of.”

Hannah thought about the last occasion she’d been threatened with shunning. Now was the time to tell him she’d once stood up at a congregational meeting and voiced her opinion—something Amish women never did.

Seth’s gaze traveled to the kitchen window, and the corners of his mouth turned down. “Woman, I don’t know what you’re thinking here, but I can’t jaw about this any longer right now. I’ve got my hands full of problems with Phoebe. I need to take her home before she thinks I’ve gone back on my word.”

Her attention snapped back from the cows. “What kind of problems with Phoebe? Let me help. I’ve grown fond of that little girl. I’ll bet if I—”

“No, Hannah.” Seth cut her off abruptly. “This is something I must do. She’s been spending too much time with you while I have neglected my duties as her father. She’s here at Simon’s farm more often than she’s home.”

“I was just trying to help, Seth Miller. It’s about time your girl starts talking again.” Maybe it was due to the heat and valley humidity, but Hannah found her temper on a short leash.

“I’m not so worried about what will happen this fall in school. I’ve created a whole new batch of trouble because I keep dropping her off for other people to raise.”