Abandoned but Not Alone (32 page)

“
When I came out of hospital I was put up for
adoption, but it never happened for me. I was completely out of control; I didn
’
t like adults touching me, in fact I didn
’
t like anyone touching me. If they did touch
me I would flip out and attack them, I was small but I soon realized how to
inflict the most pain on anyone who came too close to me. That behavior went on
for a couple of years. I didn
’
t go to kindergarten
–
  well that
’
s not quite true, I attended a couple of times
but I would lash out at the other kids so the teachers thought I would be
better off in an institution that could cope with my
‘
problem
’
as they termed it. I only lasted there for
two months
–
I knew
I'd had enough when the physiologists kept asking me dumb ass questions as
though I were stupid and couldn
’
t understand what they were talking about. I must have
shocked the hell out of them when I told him I wouldn
’
t be coming back the next day as their stupid
questions were inane and counterproductive.
”

Jason laughed out loud at the recollection of shock that
had registered on the faces of the pompous physiologists
.

“
I told them that I had decided to go to a
proper school and allow people to touch me, if it meant they would leave me
alone. I knew I could speak if I wanted to, I just didn
’
t want to, so I didn't. The touching was the
most difficult part for me and, I guess being at the institution was crucial in
figuring out how to deal with that aspect of what was going on with me. Only it
wasn
’
t in the
way they all thought. There were lots of books around the place and I had heard
the term '
Haphephobia
'
used by the doctors repeatedly in relation to my not liking to be touched. So I
swiped one of their reference books and looked it up. I read about the symptoms
and once I had a name and could understand why I didn
’
t like to be touched I started to rationalize
the situation and figured I would give this touching business a go. There were
a few people I liked so I started off with them
…”

Josh and Jake looked over at their father then they all
turned their attention back to Jason. Aviva was in shock at Jason's disclosure
and couldn
’
t hold in her
exclamation.
“
Jason, if my time
line is correct, you were about five years old when this was taking place.
”
At Jason
’
s nod she continued with astonishment.
“
You were five years old and you could read and
understand psychology text books?
”

Jason gave her a sheepish look from under his brow
realizing he had some explaining to do. Shrugging his shoulder, he scratched
his head and turned his gaze to the floor.
“
Well...um.. um, I sort of have a high IQ.
”

“
How high?
”
  Aviva asked wide-eyed with curiosity.

“
Um
–
  well it depends what test you take
…”

“
How high, Jason? Three voices rang out making
Aviva jump in the otherwise quiet room.

Pulling on his ear, Jason mumbled,
“
About one-sixty.
”

“
Oh-my-God, you
’
re a bloody genius!
”
Aviva shouted in astonishment.

“
Does it make a difference?
”

“
Well
…
no but shouldn
’
t your head be bigger or something; you know, to hold
your super-sized brain.
”
Aviva laughed at
her quip, Jason rolled his eyes, vexed that yet again his intelligence was being
viewed as something abnormal or something to make a joke about.

Joshua
laughed at the expression on Jason
’
s face.
Then it occurred to Aviva, if Jason had that kind of smarts, didn
’
t it stand to reason that the rest of his
family may have the same trait. Turning to the men seated opposite her, she
looked them up and down with curiosity.
“
What about you guys
’
, what are
your IQ
’
s?
”
Aviva was greeted by silence, three men
looking down, none prepared to comment. Oh yeah, she was definitely on to
something. If Jason had to divulge his uncomfortable secrets, she was going to
make damn sure they did the same.

“
Yeah, come on laughing boy, what
’
s your IQ?
”
Jason mocked Josh, raising an eyebrow in question to indicate
he was waiting for an answer.

Realizing he had no way out; Josh rolled his shoulders
and mumbled
“
One fifty-five.
”

“
And you, staring boy, what about you?
”
  Jason said tilting his chin in Jakes
direction.

“
Does it matter?
”
Jake responded using the same words Jason had
tossed at Aviva when he had revealed the level of his own IQ.

“
What, are you the dumb ass or something?
”
  Jason mocked, wanting to shake Jake
’
s unnatural calm.

“
Fuck you, you arrogant shit.
”
  Jake responded in a calm voice that grated
on Jason
’
s self-control.

“
Not if I fuck you up first
–
staring boy.
”

“
You think you can take me?
”
  Exploding to his feet Jake extended his
hands to his sides, palms facing towards Jason motioning him forward.
“
If you
’
re so big and bad, come get some.
”

In the blink of an eye Jason was on his feet, his right
hand shooting out towards Jake to grab him by the collar. Just as quickly Josh
was between them. From the way the considerable muscles in his arms were
bulging Aviva could see he was exerting enormous amounts of strength in his
attempt to keep his brothers apart, and he was losing the battle. To Aviva
their sudden movement had been a blur, never had she seen people move so
quickly.

“
Stop this
–
now!
”
Jackson shouted from his seat, never doubting his
command would be followed. Jake was the first to lower his fisted hand, Josh
released him and turned to Jason, still holding him back. Glaring at Jake his
eyes black with suppressed rage, Jason drew in a deep breath, lowered his hand
and took a step back.

“
Now sit down
–
both of you.
”
Both men rolled their shoulders in an
identical manner and backed up keeping a close look on the other.

“
I don
’
t like repeating myself; don
’
t let me have to do it again!
”

“
Or what, old man
–
what ya gonna do, sic laughing boy and the
staring one on me?
”
Jason drawled
mockingly, giving Jackson a disrespectful look.

“
I told you before,
do-not-speak-to-my-father-like-that!
”
Jake roared advancing towards Jason again.

Holding up his hand Jackson stopped Jake
’
s advance. Looking at Jason, Jackson spoke in
a calm voice,
“
Son, nothing
between us will ever need to be settled with fists, which goes for you too
Jake.
”

“
Don
’
t call me that!
”
Jason spat through gritted teeth, sweat breaking out
over his whole body. He felt as he had the night of their first meeting. Why
the hell didn
’
t these people
leave him alone, they were driving him mad with their relentless intrusion into
his life, a life he had worked hard to get on track.

“
Son-of-a-bitch
…”
Jason swore under his breath wanting to punch
something or someone.

Snickering, Josh quipped,
“
Yes we are.
”

“
What the hell are you talking about now?
”

“
Oh excuse me; I thought it was because our
mother is a bitch that we are all gathered here at this point in time, virtual
strangers, on the point of attacking each other at the most innocuous question
or comment. Forgive me, I stand corrected, it must be because we knew all about
you Jason, and we deliberately kept you out of our lives
–
yes that must be it.
”
Coming to an end, Josh looked at his brothers
with tears in his now black eyes. He didn
’
t mind if they ribbed him, they could do it
all day long and he wouldn
’
t care, but he
couldn
’
t bear to see
them hurting so much, not knowing how to take the steps to unite them as a
family. He knew it was still early days but he could see how much they were all
hurting, his father included. Josh walked over to the window and looked out at
the garden, blinking rapidly to halt the tears of sadness that clouded his
eyes.

Jason and Jake looked at Josh
’
s broad back as he stood so alone looking out
the window, neither of them missing the tears that had gathered in his eyes,
knowing it was their behavior as much as the situation that had put them there.

“
Jackson, Jake, Josh, I apologize for my
behavior
…
I apologize...I
know this situation is none of your making
…
I just need time...I just need time...to work
this all out in my mind, for myself.
”

“
We understand, son. This is difficult for all
of us, especially for you, we understand, we don
’
t expect you to embrace us as your family
immediately, but all we ask is that you don
’
t push us away so vehemently.
”

“
I
’
ll try
–
that
’
s all I can promise right now.
”

“
That
’
s a good starting point. Jake, do you have something to
say to Jason?
”

“
Sorry.
”
Jake mumbled in Jason
’
s direction.

Turing back to their father Josh smiled, his usual good
humor reappearing.
“
So Dad, it looks
like we
’
ve got two
stubborn brooders to deal with.
”

“
So it would seem, son. Which one do you think
you can wind up the most?
”

“
Oh, I've got a handle on Jake, I just need a
little more time with Jason and I
’
ll get back to you on that question.
”

“
Whatever!
”
  Jason and Jake said at the same time. When
they realized they had spoken the same thing at the same time, they glared at
each other, ready to comment, thought better of it and kept quiet.

“
In answer to your question, I
’
m the dumb-ass in the family. Jake
’
s IQ is one-fifty and mine is one-twenty, so I
’
m the dumb-ass.
”
Jackson laughed at Jason
’
s rapidly heating face. Flopping back down on
the couch, Jason threw back his head and massaged his scalp with his eyes
closed.

Aviva had watched and listened as the whole tabloid
unfurled before her, hands over her mouth in utter amazement. Their
interactions had moved from calm, to explosive and back to calm in a matter of
minutes.  Well one thing was for sure, she had never taken an IQ test and now
she never would, otherwise she
’
d be the
dumb-ass.